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symphonic
Australia
8 Posts |
 Posted - 10/14/2006 : 20:57:51
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Hi everyone,
A couple months back I started attacking my RSI with a TMS approach and I've thrown out my voice rec. and ALMOST got back to normal activity... Typing still hurts though so no posting.
Now I have a dilemma though and would love to hear how you guys would approach it. Basically I started dating my best friend about a month ago. Unfortunately I was still coming off anti depressants for the chronic pain which DESTROYED by libido - tried to soldier on but that was a big mistake and led to every guy's nightmare.
The meds are just about completely out of my system, but now I've developed a rash down there which seems to be stemming from fear of jumping back into bed (there was already some fear around it from childhood stuff)... I'm thinking it HAS to be TMS, but I can't exactly just ignore it and have sex. Effective distraction...
What would you do?
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2006 : 21:02:46
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Hmm - a genuine situation where "pushing through" just wouldn't be quite right, huh?
My 2 cents is the you have already done the work of recognizing that it is TMS and what the emotion is, and you can just take your attention off it and allow it a bit of time to heal. I've found that in some cases the healing of symptoms seems almost instant, and in others the "kitchen is back-ordered."
Maybe you can tell your friend that you need to take a coupla weeks more before jumping in. If she is really a friend, there will be no problem. If not, you will have been saved. Just take your attention completely off sex and concentrate on other vigorous, healthy projects. If you notice the rash, just say, "Yes, I really get that I am scared." And give that scared self some love, but keep your attention off the symptoms.
Then you will relax and all else will arise (!) naturally.
Actually, that will be three cents.
xxx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2006 : 22:57:26
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Have you been able or feel comfortable enough talking to your partner about all this? It sounds like you have had so much going on to deal with that it might just take you some time and a little bit of confidence built back up before you can be at full peak here.
You know if you just want to be intimate without the stress of having to perform, manually stimulating your partner might be a way to get back into it. And I mean start out with maybe that intention, let your partner know what you plan and then if you get feeling more comfortable you can progress from there. I think if it's TMS the only way to get through it is not let it have the power. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2006 : 23:02:39
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| Have a couple of bottles of wine, turn off the lights and watch some porn. |
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symphonic
Australia
8 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2006 : 09:24:23
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Thanks guys, your advice is much appreciated and (happily) coincides with what I've been doing. Wavy Soul, your advice that now (after recognition of TMS) that taking attention away is the right move is just what I was looking for. That balance between focusing on the emotion too much or going into denial is always one I struggle with a little.
I don't know what it is like for other TMSers, but I find it easy to talk about anything that's going on, it's almost like the words are a buffer for the feelings, so my girl friend knows the score and I think is ok with things. Now I have to be! What a crazy few weeks.
btw, painintheneck, your suggestion fits my plan precisely and I was VERY close before the little skin thing. The last little bastion of fear I hope. |
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How do I repudiate THIS symptom? Please advise!
