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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
 Posted - 10/12/2006 : 21:11:10
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hi yall,
I am feeling really scared and alone now. I feel fortunate that my TMS symptoms are staying at bay physically, but there's really a lack with replacing them with more effective coping mechanisms.
I was on the verge of tears nearly all day and whenever I pause from distracting media I find myself just overwhelmed by sadness and shame and all these other powerful things.
I know exercise makes me feel better. I did an hour of yoga this morning, walked to work and biked home. I read a book I really wanted to read at the store. I did feel better DURING these activities, but mostly coz my mind was very occupied by them. But how do these distractions help? Or are they a benign TMS?
I can see that it better to just feel crappy and let it out than hold it in, but this feels unbearable and I feel like I'm wallowing and dwelling, which doesn't feel like it's producing anything. At the same time, what's stirring up is really and I have to work through it.
What do you all do to get to the heart of things without being a wreck? Advice appreciated GREATLY! |
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wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 10/12/2006 : 22:28:48
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Hi Carbar,
What you describe is familiar to me. Sounds very much like depression, pure and simple. I'm not suffering from it currently, but I have lifelong experience with it. I recognize the thought that the painful emotions are unbearable and the desire to DISTRACT at all costs. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It may be the best thing to do at that moment, eg, if you are in a situation you can't immediately do anything about. But it can become a crutch if avoidance becomes habitual.
As for TMS, who knows? Depression could be a TMS equivalent--or not. Only you know your history. But the fact that your PHYSICAL symptoms are absent while the depression is present, might imply the old TMS symptom imperative--symptom switching. Something to consider anyway. Does your depression (pardon me for labeling it that if you don't agree with the dx) tend to disappear when you have physical symptoms? |
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Tunza
New Zealand
198 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2006 : 00:58:20
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How about setting aside regular time every day to "wallow in it"? You could spend that time doing journalling if that's something that helps you. Don't worry about what you're writing - just let it all out. And then spend some time reading over what you've written to see if you can dig deeper into why you feel the things you do. I may not be explaining this properly but TMS doctors go into more detail in their books on what you can journal.
Then when you are "distracting yourself" you can let yourself enjoy those distractions, knowing that you will face your demons later that day. After all, life is meant to be fun sometimes.
We're not designed to spend every waking moment introspecting. It gets really tiring - I know because I've been trapped in that cycle. Dwelling on things comes very naturally to me.
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2006 : 10:14:57
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quote:
Originally posted by Tunza
Then when you are "distracting yourself" you can let yourself enjoy those distractions, knowing that you will face your demons later that day. After all, life is meant to be fun sometimes.
We're not designed to spend every waking moment introspecting. It gets really tiring - I know because I've been trapped in that cycle. Dwelling on things comes very naturally to me.
Good points Tunza, well said!  |
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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 10/16/2006 : 19:42:42
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Thanks for this advice, everyone! It means the world!
Hm. WorldTrv, I used to be depressed as a result of the TMS symptoms. The whole blame cycle, etc. I can see that this is maybe an equivilent, now.
Tunza and Tom, thanks for this nudge in the right direction. I notice that I've gotten away from journaling, which might be why I'm more uneven. sometimes it feels like a waste to journal, the whole, "introspecting can be tiring" concept. But, maybe if I really set a time limit that would be helpful.
I'm feeling better now emotionally from a weekend where I was pretty active. On the other hand, I've come down with the cold I was fighting off all last week. Stress and horomones, I think.
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really struggling with emotions
