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Michele
249 Posts |
 Posted - 10/05/2006 : 08:03:10
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I believe in TMS, it makes perfect sense. I discovered Dr. Sarno in August 2004 and have done the work now for over 2 years. I have arthritis, but my pain has decreased considerably and I've continued to run, bike, lift weights and stay active.
But in all this time, one spot of pain in my left hip joint has continued to bug me. It doesn't move around, it is constant and it is painful. I have laughed at it, ignored it, run harder, you name it, I've tried it, and it is still there. Yesterday I finally bit the bullet and saw my doctor and requested a bone scan, which will be done tomorrow. About 2 1/2 years ago I had an MRI & xrays on it, and all they saw was arthritis. The pain has been particularly bad since I ran a half marathon on Sept. 24.
After the half (on a Sunday), I caught a bad cold and did nothing for a week. Then on Saturday, I went on a long, slow bike ride for about 19+ miles. I was fine, but tired. A day later, my right knee started feeling swollen. Doesn't look swollen, but feels like it's going to explode. It keeps getting worse, not particularly painful, just feels like the whole knee is going to explode.
So between my left hip and my right knee, I'm a mess. The first thing I do is think about what's going on in my life.
1. Oldest son in college, miss him.
2. Youngest son has car accident, court is next week, he's not paying attention to anything - school, household, etc.
3. On the bike ride, hubby complained I was too slow and left me behind. I was pissed the entire ride.
4. I've had NO time for myself the last month or so.
5. My youngest sister was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer, surgery is Tuesday.
I need some help and encouragement from you guys to bring me out of this. I tell myself I'm being ridiculous - I'M NOT WEAK, MY BODY CANNOT FALL APART THAT QUICKLY. I laugh, I scream, I cry, and it keeps getting worse. Help! |
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2006 : 08:54:30
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So what am I FEELING.
1. Oldest son in college, miss him. SADNESS, FEAR OF INJURY (he plays football), UNWILLINGNESS TO LET GO, NOT NEEDED OR APPRECIATED
2. Youngest son has car accident, court is next week, he's not paying attention to anything - school, household, etc. FEAR OF THE FUTURE, HIS IN PARTICULAR; CHAOS
3. On the bike ride, hubby complained I was too slow and left me behind. I was pissed the entire ride. ANGER, CONTINUED DOUBT ABOUT FUTURE OF MARRIAGE,
4. I've had NO time for myself the last month or so. CHAOS, IRRITABILITY
5. My youngest sister was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer, surgery is Tuesday. FEAR, SADNESS
I want to get MAD. I want to slam my office door and pound my fists. I want to curl up in a ball and cry until my eyes hurt and my throat is sore. It hurts to FEEL, oh god it hurts to FEEL these things. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2006 : 09:25:43
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quote:
Originally posted by Michele
I want to get MAD. I want to slam my office door and pound my fists. I want to curl up in a ball and cry until my eyes hurt and my throat is sore. It hurts to FEEL, oh god it hurts to FEEL these things.
JUST DO IT !
(more later) |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2006 : 10:48:37
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Michele,
That's a LOT to deal with.
I'm sorry about your sister, and that you got left behind.
I'm with TT, JUST DO IT. Two things John Lee recommends in "Facing the Fire" is Twisting a towel and hitting a pillow. Sometimes I start when I'm not angry, and by the time that pillow is getting pretty bruised, I've found some repressed feelings.
Hang in there, dear. We're pullin' for ya'
Regards,
Beth |
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Fox
USA
496 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2006 : 12:04:33
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| Punching bags are great for letting out anger. I have a heavy one hanging in my garage.....Martial arts classes also help but you have to stick to a schedule with this, whereas you can hit/kick your own bag anytime you can free up time to do it. |
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turtle23
USA
13 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2006 : 18:58:00
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Michele,
You are strong, and you can get through this!
You do have a lot to deal with right now, which is probably quite overwhelming. Take the time for yourself and allow yourself to do/feel whatever you need to.
Write, scream, curl up in a ball, feel, feel, feel.
Turtle |
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Mary Ann
Canada
42 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2006 : 10:39:26
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I'm so sorry to hear about your situation now.
Maybe one way of looking at this right now is that your brain is sending you pain in a misguided attempt to help you. Thank it for its efforts but say "no thanks" -- you'd rather feel your emotional pain right now.
In any case, try not to focus on the symptoms, but what you can do to take care of yourself. You're under seige from many fronts and most of your efforts deal with taking care of others (your sons, husband, sister). Find some ways to pamper yourself. Maybe get a massage (just for the pleasure, not the "treatment"), get a facial, take a hot bath, read a good new book, take in a movie you've wanted to see or have coffee or drinks with a good friend.
Whatever you do, you need to focus on yourself for a bit. Your tank is on empty and you have to fill it up. I would bet anything that in doing so your pain will subside.
Best of luck
Mary Ann
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2006 : 11:25:19
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All great suggestions, and Mary Ann, I think you are right on. I have a free evening and I "should" do the laundry, I "should" clean the house, I "should" do alot of things, but what I'm going to do is focus on me . . . after I take my son shopping for homecoming clothes!  Beth and Fox, I plan to get some of that anger out by doing something, maybe using the tennis raquet I have in the corner.
Just writing the original post seemed to help somewhat. And getting some objective opinions from others who can see much clearer, is always a huge benefit. Thank you! |
Edited by - Michele on 10/06/2006 11:26:47 |
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Crisis - will it ever end?
