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 Successful people Vs. Unsuccessful people
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bhougland

5 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  13:05:26  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hello everyone-

I have been reading the forums for a while and have a theory about the differences between people that succeed and the ones that don't succeed. I got rid of my prostitus in about one week after reading the book. My attitude was "Ohh, I guess I am fine, where are my running shoes?". However, the pain moved to my upper back and was unbearable. I even had to call into work one day and take the day off. It went away after a couple of weeks and is now back. I have been doing some soul searching as to why it went away the first time so easily and not the second time. I have come to a couple of conclusions:

1. It is easier to get rid of the pain by identifying with the phrase "I am perfectly healthy and structurally sound", rather than "I have a benign condition called TMS due to emotional issues"

--The reason I think is that once you know you are ALREADY fine and you resume normal activity, then the subconscious gives way. On the other hand if you identify with the "condition" of TMS, there is still a disconnect between a healthy you and the you in the present state. A chasm one must cross. Also, TMS people by nature are hard on themselves, so they feel they must root out all the negative feelings and stresses that have ever happened in their life in order to get better. I just don't think this is the case, but many people don't want it to be easy as a way of punishing themselves. I was so taken with the concept of TMS that I read two books on it and everything on the interent. I identified myself as a "TMS personality", so when some other stress in my life happened it came back. I have since identified with the statement "I am structually sound" and am making quick progress again.

2. You MUST resume normal activity and fight through any discomfort.

Both times my TMS went away I was running 2-3 miles a day, and fighting through pain the first .5 miles. The funny thing about TMS is that once blood (which brings oxygen) starts pumping through the body the pain dissapears. I would then say to myself "Ah ha! I knew I was healthy, and I am absolutely structurally sound!"

YOU WILL NOT DAMAGE YOURSELF BY RESUMING NORMAL ACTIVITY!! SO DO IT! Do NOT ease into activity, this sends a message to your subconscious that says that you don't truely believe you are structurally sound on all levels. Thus the pain will persist. Also, lets say that sitting in a chair is your "trigger" for pain, then your activity should not be sitting in a chair. Your activity should be something related that gets the blood moving through that part of your body, something much more strenuous. Then you will tell yourself "come on i was just doing squats and lunges, sitting in a chair is a peice of cake, I am not buying this pain....I am structurally sound"

3. Do not set goals!

---This is going to cause a lot of controversy, but by setting a goal you are still saying to your subconscious that AT THIS MOMENT you are NOT structurally sound. You need to just resume activity and KNOW that you are ok. Don't even identify with the TMS condition. IF you are going to set a goal do it for your own athletic prowess and not for the TMS.

4. Identify with the feeling of the emotional issues rather than the logic. Accept that you feel this way, accept yourself for feeling this way and then release the emotional stress anyway that works for you. Absolutely KNOW that this issue has been resolved.

----If it is a person that has wronged you accept the fact that you can not control other people's actions, accept yourself for feeling this way, forgive yourself, and then the other person.

5. Know that you are a perfect creation, and that there will never be another "you" ever to grace the earth again. Try and truely love and accept yourself. (obviously this will be hard, and it is just so you can be happier in life. Your TMS will go away even if this step is not mastered.. hell, look at all the people that don't have TMS that haven't mastered this step)

Comments are always welcome,
Ben


Edited by - bhougland on 09/19/2006 13:21:09

PainFreeinNC

11 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  13:23:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You are right about resuming activity, point black. Currently I think my only remaining hurdle is resuming all activity without fear of "remission". My problem is somewhat of a duality. I don't want to engage in physical activity because I don't want to risk feeling pain after feeling so good for these couple weeks. But I also know that this a prime contributor to experiencing the pain and depression of TMS.

So this weekend I decided not go wakeboarding because I had felt great for 2 weeks straight (after a long time of feeling crummy) and didn't want to end it. Problem is that knowledge fed my sense of failure and I have slipped a notch in how good I feel. I've tried to rectify it by going to the gym two days in a row and I find it a challenge not to think about the physical implications of doing so.

I'm doing alot better and I thank you, Ben, for reminding me how important this is.
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tomc

3 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2006 :  21:52:36  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ben, thanks for an excellent summary. For the last few months I have been reluctant to lift and play with my 18 month old grandson and when I did, I paid for it for days after. So for the last two months I have been walking at least 2 miles a day and have experienced the same initial back twinges that go away about halfway through the walk. Never thought about the blood flow idea. And yesterday the kid and daughter and I went on a journey by BART(train) to San Francisco to see the Titantic exhibit. I lifted and carried him and just said forgot about the potential pain, and you know what? There was none. I have just printed your post and will read it often to remind myself I am ok and in charge of my body. Thanks.
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tennis tom

USA
4749 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2006 :  00:26:16  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Ben,

Many thanks for the thoughtful and inspiring post. I will print it also and put it in my copy of Sarno. It should be posted to the "Success Story" thread but I don't know how; could someone please do it?

It inspires me to go for a run which I havn't done for quite a while.

Cheers,
tt

Edited by - tennis tom on 09/20/2006 00:28:17
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bhougland

5 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2006 :  15:04:45  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I forgot an important step:

6. Reread the book as often as the symptoms persist

-- It takes a little while for the unconscious mind to absord the teaching and release the pain. Also, read every chapter. It never ceases to amaze me what I missed,or didn't feel was that important, on the previous reading.
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Logan

USA
203 Posts

Posted - 09/21/2006 :  08:45:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ben, you're so right. That's an excellent primer on how to get and stay well.

I've been pain free for more than three years now and was just checking the board as a way to remind myself - as midterms near and my life as a graduate student/teacher gets uber stressful - that I need to be aware of how angry being over scheduled makes me and I need to deal with the anger so as not to get sick or have pain.

I wanted to comment on your list to help others remember that as well.

As soon as I read Sarno's book, back in the fall of 2002, I got rid of all my back and neck pain paraphenalia. Sold the books that weren't Sarno. Gave the special pillows to Goodwill. Threw out the ice packs, put the heating pad back in the cupboard.

But more importantly, I kept telling myself over and over again that I was well. I made up little rhyming mantras to the effect and sang them silently in my head. I wrote my subconscious letters explaining that I was well (in my journal) and I "fired" the TMS causing portion, telling it it was no longer needed because I was "dealing with my emotions directly from now on."

I also wrote and mailed real letters to my chiro, massage therapist and accupuncturist telling them I was all better and how I got that way, Sarno, and that they should encourage their other patients to look into his work. (Yeah, I know they didn't. They had BMW payments to make.)

And I do. I sometimes feel "unstable" or "overly emotional" in the years since my recovery but that's only because I spent decades hardly feeling a thing. It's normal to get pissed off or to feel grief. And even if it's "irrational" you're better off feeling the feeling and then letting go of it rather than telling yourself you couldn't or shouldn't feel that way.

While I didn't feel immediately, miraculously better after reading the book - and that's a lot of pressure to put on one's self, to heal that quickly - I did get progressively better. I got better because I immediately started acting as if I was better already. I walked 5 miles a day almost every day. I started riding my bike again. I took up downhill skiing for the first time ever, just a month after reading Sarno's books.

Ben, I would add just one more thing to your list. I can't say enough about the book "Facing the Fire" by (?) Lee. Others on the board have recommended it too. It helped me get over my squeamishness about expressing anger physically. Even before reading Sarno or Lee, I had a psychologist tell me that "anger is kinetic, you have to get it out of your body."

What helped me to kick the last of my shoulder stiffness/pain, six months after reading Sarno's books, was to get the anger out of my body using Lee's anger release exercises. Beat the crap out of something. Do it daily for awhile. You will feel great afterwards, feeling the blood pumping into places it hasn't been in years...
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Michele

249 Posts

Posted - 09/21/2006 :  12:08:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Logan

What helped me to kick the last of my shoulder stiffness/pain, six months after reading Sarno's books, was to get the anger out of my body using Lee's anger release exercises. Beat the crap out of something. Do it daily for awhile. You will feel great afterwards, feeling the blood pumping into places it hasn't been in years...



I read John Lee's book a long time ago, and completely forgot about this!!! Thanks for reminding me!

Ben - GREAT post, thank you!
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armchairlinguist

USA
1397 Posts

Posted - 09/21/2006 :  17:18:40  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
I also wrote and mailed real letters to my chiro, massage therapist and accupuncturist telling them I was all better and how I got that way, Sarno, and that they should encourage their other patients to look into his work. (Yeah, I know they didn't. They had BMW payments to make.)


Me too! I didn't think of it as a cathartic thing at the time, like I did getting rid of stuff (though I still have the books -- maybe I should sell those), but I think that's what I was aiming for.

--
Wherever you go, there you are.
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