| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
 Posted - 09/06/2006 : 16:12:59
|
Shame about the dispute this book recommendation ended up in. (DJ Hojo I hope you haven’t been put off the forum.)
I decided to buy the book, my appetite having been whetted by the section in The Divided Mind written by the psychotherapists. I was particularly interested in how they identified and dealt with resistances in the patient. I think the subject of resistance is of relevance to us all, because it’s the thing that stops the emotions from coming out and for us it can represent the barrier between being ill and being well.
Karen Horney’s book is very interesting and a good read. I recommend it to those who can’t find or afford a TMS therapist – and even to those who can, and may be just starting therapy, because it gives a good insight into psychotherapy.
She mentions a patient who suffered from headaches. (Coincidentally his name is “John”.) He started thinking about what could be causing it and suddenly realises he is angry at having been persuaded to see a play when he would much have preferred to see a different one. As soon as he recognised the anger the headache went away.
On this first occasion he found the link accidentally – it hadn’t occurred to him before that that his headaches had an emotional cause. On subsequent occasions he had similar success in finding a link between his headaches and hidden anger and eventually his headaches stopped altogether.
She then says:
“In reviewing this experience one is struck at first by the lightness of the labor in comparison with the results obtained. But miracles occurred in psychoanalysis as seldom as anywhere else. Whether a symptom can be easily removed depends on its function in the whole structure. In this case the headaches had not assumed any further role, such as preventing John from doing things he was afraid of doing or resented doing, or serving as a means of demonstrating to others that they had given offense or inflicted injury, or serving as a basis for demanding special consideration. If headaches or any further symptoms have assumed important functions such as these, their cure will require long and penetrating work. One will then have to analyze all the needs they satisfy and they will probably not disappear until the work is practically finished. In John's case they had not assumed any such functions, and probably resulted merely from tension increased by the repressed anger."
Maybe this explains why some symptoms disappear easily whereas others are more stubborn.
Hilary N |
|
|
nora
Canada
22 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2006 : 19:22:05
|
Wow, now I get it. So it seems my chronic back pain, which does come and go, is serving the purpose of giving me and excuse to shrug some of my responsibities as an only child of an aging mother with dementia. Does one have to somehow resolve the issues to improve ? I will need to be there for my mother, so how does one deal with an situation that isn't going away ?
|
 |
|
|
HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2006 : 10:07:05
|
quote:
how does one deal with an situation that isn't going away ?
Perhaps you need to spend time on your own and try to feel any anger that may be inside you.
Hilary N |
|
|
|
nora
Canada
22 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2006 : 16:31:04
|
quote:
Originally posted by HilaryN
quote:
how does one deal with an situation that isn't going away ?
Perhaps you need to spend time on your own and try to feel any anger that may be inside you.
Hilary N
|
|
|
|
nora
Canada
22 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2006 : 16:39:25
|
Hilary,
I do try to feel my anger,but then goodist in me then turns the anger into guilt. I feel ashamed that I get agitated and frustrated with my mother, because I have grown up believing that is disrespectful. How can one change the very personality traits that are so detremental to ones emotional health ?
|
|
|
|
tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2006 : 18:13:50
|
"...so how does one deal with an situation that isn't going away ?"
-------------------------------------
Acceptance |
|
|
|
HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2006 : 20:38:18
|
Nora,
Have a read through the Tendonitis/RSI thread. There’s a very nice post by Penny on p.2 about “WWMICD (“What would my inner child do?”)
Try to forget about the right or wrong of what you’re feeling. I know that’s not easy if it’s been drummed in to you. But the fact is that we all have those feelings. Having them doesn’t make you a bad person and it’s important to acknowledge them. As TT says, accept them.
Changing your way of thinking won’t happen overnight, but give it a go.
Do you journal? It might be useful to write down your feelings. Write down that you feel agitated and frustrated – and that you feel ashamed and guilty about having those feelings. If you’re worried someone else might read what you’ve written, burn the paper afterwards, or shred it and put it with the kitchen waste.
Hilary N |
|
|
|
nora
Canada
22 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 09:17:30
|
Thanks all for your advice ! I will work on Acceptance.
My back is very cranky today. How ironic because I am preparing to go on a trip of a lifetime to the South of France. Maybe I'm frustrated because this is supposed to be a bike trip, but I doubt I will be able to ride or maybe I'm worried about all the bad things that could happen while I am gone. Has anyone had flare-ups of TMS just before a vacation? |
|
|
|
tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 10:11:16
|
Before a vacation, is an ideal and very likely time to have the TMS gremlin attack! You are embarking on a big change and advneture that places your homeostasis on it's head.
All your routine daily habits: eating, sleeping, bathing, will be pulled out from under you. Your subconsious understands this and is starting to fret and get scared about it, although your conscious mind might not want to admit to it.
When you travel, anything could happen...you could lose your wallet, passport, miss your flight, be hi-jacked by terrorists, end up in a Turkish prison, or even get a flat on your bike, and be left behind by the group, (hopefully, there's a sag-waggon).
Go on your trip.
I recall distinctly, the first words I read by the Good Doctor, were about a person in exactly your situation. I stumbled across it about 10 years ago. It was while standing in the aisle, of the "Back Section", of a book store called, A Clean Well Lightend Place for Books, in Larkspur, Ca.
I spied a little paperback, Dr. Sarno's first TMS book: MIND OVER BACK. I just happened to open it to one of his patient's testimonials. It was about a fellow experiencing excrusciating back-pain that had him flat on his back in traction, just prior to leaving on a vacation bike trip. He saw Dr. Sarno, got the "TMS Penicillin Knowledge Cure" and went on his bike trip, with no problems and enjoyed every minute of it.
JUST DO IT ! |
|
|
|
nora
Canada
22 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 13:50:44
|
Tom,
Thanks !!!!!!!!!!!! Your encouragement is much needed. I'm in such a sorry state that I'm not sure I can even pack. What should I tell my inner child? |
|
|
|
Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 17:52:34
|
Nora,
just to add to what TT said. At the start of the year I went to NZ on a long holiday with my Girlfriend, we were wrestling....as you do, and she gave me a poke in the eye, which flared into a severe bout of Iritis. ( Inflammation of the eye - very very painful if you leave it go, I've had it once before unprovoked, they claim it's an inflammation thing in the body, which is why I also have back pain.......yeah right, I almost got into an argument with the quack when I suggested it was emotional related) I went snowboarding 6 weeks ago for a week and the very morning I left to go on holiday, my eye was red and sore again, same thing. Boy I'll tell ya, this subconscious of mine is a real little brat. I just want to drag it out and give it the beating of it's life. Not sure if that's healthy though :-) Don't fight it, just understand it.
Darko
|
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
"Self Analysis" by Karen Horney, M.D.
