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cheeryquery
Canada
56 Posts |
 Posted - 08/19/2006 : 14:39:44
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My understanding is that Dr. Sarno says only about 10% of people are able to accept a diagnosis of TMS. WHY WOULD THIS BE? What's the big deal? Any way to help them especially if (as with a relative or friend) you have years to do it. How to get through, that's my question. Any thoughts and experience would be useful.
My husband is having a horrible time with all-over pain but the worst is in his knees (sometimes one, sometimes both) and one shoulder. I have been a Sarno fan since 1992 and can diagnose TMS when I see it -- just kidding, but my husband's pain doesn't seem entirely physical to me.
All this time, I have been bothering the poor guy about TMS but he just won't look at it. Once, he did, and identified lots of stressors and his own take on how TMS works, but next day he was back to his old self and has now decided he has lupus.
I'm probably just going to have to live with this situation but it's affecting my life almost as much as his. I'm sure most of the people on this forum have had similar frustrations. |
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salamander
85 Posts |
Posted - 08/19/2006 : 15:39:42
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I think that it is very difficult for most people to accept TMS, because most people want clearcut solutions to problems. Sarno is a pioneer because he has found the solution to many causes of pain. However, he is fighting centuries of other doctor diagnosis' that rely on a physical explanation. In addition, there is a certain amount of stigma attached with the Sarno diagnosis. It is difficult for most people to admit or accept that repressed emotions are the cause of their pain.
Ironically, the people that are most prone to TMS are the same people that are likely to dismiss the diagnosis. TMS'ers are perfectionistic, high achieving, and opinionated, amoungst others. They have a highly defined sense of self, but a low self esteem.
His best chance of listening and accepting the TMS diagnosis is when he has exhausted all other avenues. The best you can do is encourage him to read the forums and the books. You can also refuse to cook him dinner if he chooses not to. : ) |
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cheeryquery
Canada
56 Posts |
Posted - 08/19/2006 : 17:29:29
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You are probably right, Sal. In his case, he is usually very open to weird theories but this one impacts his sense of self and, you are right, he has low self esteem. He survived his childhood by being passive in face of his brutal big brother who was also the family "winner". So it's pretty hard to admit to rage even though anyone can see it's there. He will admit to sadness but no further. Makes him sound wimpy which he certainly isn't.
I cooked for thirty years, then quit, so he is self-sufficient in that category. Hm, what else does he want on a regular basis?  |
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cheeryquery
Canada
56 Posts |
Posted - 08/21/2006 : 01:46:37
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A friend told me (today) that my husband told her (yesterday) that "Maybe there is something to this Sarno thing". Tonight he was back to his latest theory which is lupus. I suppose this means progress is being made even though he is still not convinced.
So I've answered my own question. Patience and a respectful degree of perseverence. A prayer wouldn't hurt either. |
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salamander
85 Posts |
Posted - 08/21/2006 : 02:38:27
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Hey Cheeryquery,
Since I seem to be the only one responding...
Despite the fact that I have been cured by TMS for various ailments throughout my life, I still find it difficult to accept the TMS diagnosis for whatever my newest ailment is.
I am convinced that Sarno is correct...that TMS can move around for those that are susceptible to the "ailment". It is an ongoing fight for me to acknowledge that TMS might be to blame whenever a new "problem" appears.
It is my understanding that "Lupus" has no cure. I would suggest the following to your husband....what damage can be done by trying the Sarno suggestion for 2 months? Namely, make a diligent effort to ignore all symptoms...don't complain...carry on with life...and basically throw yourself into every thing you choose to do. Go travel...take up a new sport...
His body is not fragile. It's time to fight this SOB, and don't give up. I truly feel that if your husband even briefly acknowleged that there might be something to this "Sarno thing", then deep down he truly knows that this is the case.
Life is short....full speed ahead.
Regards,
Doug |
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miche
Canada
283 Posts |
Posted - 08/21/2006 : 10:41:31
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| Cheery, has your husband been tested for lupus? My daughter-in-law has lupus, it took a while for her to get the proper diagnosis despite the fact that lupus runs in her family, it was not discovered until the disease started to affect her kidneys. I must be wrong, I was under the impression that lupus only affected females..... |
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