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Bazz
Netherlands
34 Posts |
 Posted - 08/18/2006 : 03:15:24
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Although I am working with the TMS-theory for about 2 years, I still keep the complaints for time to time in my neck/shoulders.
Most of the time when I see people who draw attention to themselves in some way or when I see other people just having fun, I have the very childish feeling of rage which results in pain in my neck/shoulders. I know it's just the child in me who wants to be in the center.
Although I am aware of the triggers of the feeling that causes the pain, I still experience the pain every time when I am triggered by the environnement.
Especially in an environnement with many people (like my work), I experience very often pain. (which is really annoying) What can I do to break the circle??.. |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2006 : 07:15:53
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If you're not already, I would deffinitely write in a journal.
The cause of TMS is not that you feel you should be the center of attention when you aren't. It's that you are repressing or trying to deny that feeling.
During journalling, it often happens that feelings are allowed to come out.
It's the first thing I would try.
Also, I would talk to myself, even if silently. Things like "Yes, little Boy, I know you want to be center of attention, and you DESERVE to be center of attention, but right now it's somebody else's turn."
Beth |
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Bazz
Netherlands
34 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2006 : 10:28:33
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quote:
Originally posted by h2oskier25
If you're not already, I would deffinitely write in a journal.
The cause of TMS is not that you feel you should be the center of attention when you aren't. It's that you are repressing or trying to deny that feeling.
During journalling, it often happens that feelings are allowed to come out.
It's the first thing I would try.
Also, I would talk to myself, even if silently. Things like "Yes, little Boy, I know you want to be center of attention, and you DESERVE to be center of attention, but right now it's somebody else's turn."
Beth
Thank you Beth for your helpfull comments. Indeed I started a journal since two weeks ago. (I bought the program "lifejournal" which was recommended on this board.) Then my next question is, what would you write down in your journal? I just write down "..and then I was there (location) and this (situation) happened and I felt rage". How should I write on a more emotional way?
The same problem do I have with selftalk. I really try to use it, but I don't know obviously what to say to myself.. I will try your suggestion. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2006 : 11:49:26
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Bazz- I think you are on the right track and I agree with Beth about why you have TMS. Writing is a great way to start triggering and feelings those feelings that you are somewhat aware of.
I would recommend validating the feelings that you know you had as a child. You can act as the all knowing supportive parent and dialog with the child and validate the feelings that he had. Over time those feelings with push closer to consciousness and be felt. You have to encourage and accept the feelings especially the unacceptable feelings of rage. Be supportive, loving, and patient with the child. He probably didn't get enough of that and is pissed about it but he is also scared to come out with the feelings. It's your job as the parent to make it safe enough for those feelings to now come out.
One other thing I would recommend and that is have a means of expressing the rage physically if you really start to feel it. This has been crucial in my recovery - to let it go and express the rage. |
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cheeryquery
Canada
56 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2006 : 13:13:35
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I've just experienced a great example of "expressing the rage physically" as a way of coping with TMS. Not that I'm recommending my particular method but the principle is the same.
My husband tends to moods which we usually find out are based on some unconscious angst coming to the surface. During the process, however, I am the one who gets sniped at. This happened yesterday and I threw a plate and told him to f--- off.
Two days later he is still not talking to me much but I feel wonderful - almost elated. He is starting to figure out what's bothering him and I have had a nice break.
Btw, we will be celebrating our 40th anniversary in September. |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2006 : 14:10:15
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Bazz,
I think the first words to write in your journal are "I Feel . . . "
and let it go from there.
That's usually enough to get me started.
Beth |
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Yes I know this feeling is causing the pain!
