They say that it's not what you want out of life but what you expect. I have been struggling to put an end to my pain, only to have it turn on me in other places. I know I should expect this and I know that it's just the symptom imperative.
I have been fighting TMS all of my life. It only became obvious after a failed back surgery.
I have been working the program, the books, the videos, therapy, etc... for a year.
I have been saying to myself to think psychological, not physical. I think that I've got the physical part down. I know it's not what the white coats told me it was. I know this. But I haven't looked inside. I have forgotten who I am and what has really caused this.
As people in mostly constant pain we forget what it's like to be a healthy person, so our subconscious also changes. Our expectations become that of a sick person or someone in pain.
My allergies have become horrible, vertigo, weakened immune system all I believe because of my expectations. And of course conditioning.
I'm going to start remembering who I am, face my anger, face my fears. If I'm afraid, I'm going to do it. I'm going to stop the self abuse that helps my brain keep me in check.
I'm almost there and my brain hates that. It wants me right where I am. Why? I still don't know but I will find out or I will have enough reason to put it aside and focus on all of the things that I am.
And I will expect the best and not the worst anymore.
I deserve to be happy and heatlhy. WE ALL DO!
Rick |
Expectations
Posted - 08/11/2006 : 18:55:24
