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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
 Posted - 07/10/2006 : 11:14:58
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I was wondering if anyone has ever noticed a connection between how their TMS symptoms manifest and what they could be symbolizing in one's current life or childhood...It's almost like what is going on deep inside, emotionally speaking...ends up manifesting in one's body almost literally...For example...My main issue is my neck, pain and tightness, also some neuro symptoms when it gets really bad...Here is the connection I am pondering...
I FEEL STUCK HERE IN VEGAS...(due to the neck, finances, and feeling responsible for my roomie/bro's happiness...also due to my dogs)
My neck is 'stuck' and won't move properly...it is tight, I cannot look much left and right and I cannot look UP at all...
WHAT IS IT ABOUT MY LIFE THAT I DON"T WANT TO LOOK AT?
WHY DON"T I WANT TO LOOK UP INTO MY LIFE OR AT MY CREATOR EVEN??
For months, even longer, b4 this recent attack of acute TMS in my neck I was feeling TRAPPED by my situation here...and VERY MUCH missing friends/family in NJ and my life there..I even told some friends that I feel like i am in a sort of prison living in this house...Don't get me wrong...I love my roomie, we are best pals and he is a wonderful person, the best...BUT...I HATE LIVING HERE...I miss the ocean so much too...I was even starting to cry in a restaurant when my roomie took me out the other day just thinking about how much I missed the Jersey shore...
BUT..it is bittersweet thinking of going back there because I have issues w/ my sister and there are other dysfunctions in my family there, as well as i end up missing my parents even more when I am in NJ...BUT...3 years ago when i lived there for 9 weeks doing gigs I NEVER used a darn ice pack once for neck, back or knee! I have had 2 'injuries' to knee and neck since...but i had had previous ones as well when i was in NJ and my time there was NOT stress free either...A relationships was ending and I was having issues w/ my sister..Yet I remained PAIN FREE for those 9 weeks...Hmmm...I know, geographicals don't work cuz wherever you go, there you are...BUT...I feel soooooo ALONE here in the desert...I even refered to the house I live in as a morgue or a coffin...Now I am literally STUCK in my own body, unable to move or live normally..How do i get beyond this while still living here??
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wolf29
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 11:33:03
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Sometimes symptoms can be a symbol of our situation. Your neck could be "stuck" because you feel stuck where you are. I could have annoying back pain because I'm married  Who knows. The fact is you have to deal with today and try to make today better than yesterday.
I think many of us are not where we want to be in life. Whether it be the kind of work we do, partner we have, etc. but it is what it is at the moment and you have to deal with it. You can either make a plan for how to move back to NJ or stop tormenting yourself about wanting to move back. I realize it's easier said than done. It's not always easy to live in the present and actually enjoy it, but living in the past does you no good because it's done and living in the future is pointless without a plan because it will just make you always look to something better tomorrow that may never come.
So either get a plan together for moving back if you really feel that is what you truly want to do or come up with a plan to make today a little better than yesterday without worrying how you will feel tomorrow.
Hope that makes a little sense. I was rambling.
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 11:38:05
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| It actually makes perfect sense Jay...I know you are right...Yet, I still feel so sad...If I knew FOR SURE that moving to NJ was best for me, I would start trying to manifest the move...or plan it somehow...But because my parents are gone and I have no family member to move in with initially...I get scared...Money is a huge issue, I cannot live on my own at first...Not til i get on my feet back there..And I have 2 dogs, they are my children..but they are a bit of a burden because it is much harder to find a friend to move in w/ etc..when you have 2 doggies as dependents..Giving them up or leaving them here is not an option for me...Maybe the man of my dreams will magically show up and he happens to live in NJ...I am on a few dating sites and do searches back there too from time to time...Who the heck knows? Of course i know i need to somehow someway be okay with where i am..What choice do I have? I appreciate your support fellow Jerseyite..and we must do tea if I do end up moving back...Tea or better yet..LOBSTER in Cape May! |
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wolf29
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 11:45:08
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I can understand the dog thing. I had lost my 2 beautiful Akitas 2 months apart not so long ago. Many times they just pop in my head and the sadness can be consuming. There's an emptiness in the house without them. Like you said, they become your children.
Anyhow, if you're not sure moving back is the right choice than maybe you can try to plan a visit to NJ. I believe you mentioned that you had in the past and your neck felt much better. If you can arrange a visit and your neck feels much better while here, then you may have your answer as to what you need to do. At least a part of what you need to do.
Just a thought.
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 11:58:45
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| So true...I am thinking about a visit in late August or Sept. If not, then for Thanksgiving...Gotta sell more art first and get my neck moving better b4 i get on a plane...I will be a great experiment to sort of prove to me that it is 100 percent TMS i am dealing with! |
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wolf29
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 12:05:39
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quote:
Gotta sell more art first and get my neck moving better b4 i get on a plane...
I can understand the selling more art for finances, but you're putting conditions already on your trip with the get your neck moving better part. Shame, shame 
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 12:52:16
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| I know what you mean...You are right...I just finished my phone therapy session...It was all about BEING WHERE I AM and how i need to stop trying to FIX myself and my life...I spend too much time in the future/past and not enough in feeling what it is I am experiencing in the present...Just being who i am...This is a tough one... |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 14:45:05
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Not to sound like a trite layman, but I would think all this pain and suffering would be great inspiration for painting, No?
Beth |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 15:40:22
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| Well...it would be if it were obvious emotional pain like a recent breakup....but...with my neck/shoulders so tight...holding my arm in one position (up) to hold the brush for long could aggravate things... |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 15:42:37
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I would think all this pain and suffering would be great inspiration for painting, No
I think this is a common misconception about art and artists of whatever stripe, that somehow pain and suffering are necesssary for the creative process..
I can't think of anything useful, or redeeming in some way, about physical pain especially...Physical pain is a dead end street...It makes you miserable and you want it to end and that's about the size of it..I'm not sure how that's supposed to help someone draw a picture, or compose a melody, or write a poem...
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 15:46:41
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| I hear you, Art...makes sense too...And really when I think about it, I do my best work...ie...writing music or painting when i am in the best frame of mind and when my body is pain free... |
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j0yful
17 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 16:30:35
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KAREN,
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD. STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR THINKING. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 16:46:39
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| Thanx Joyful, I think...(jk) I appreciate the advice but I am wondering why the BIG letters...To emphasize what you are saying to me or are you feeling angry? |
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j0yful
17 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 19:13:31
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Yes, a little. You don't seem to buy the TMS diagnosis. You constantly bring the strain of any topic away from recovery to that of your self obsessions. Even Dr. Sarno turned away patients who he felt were unable to accept the diagnosis of TMS. You also have an excuse for everything. I personally think you like being miserable or you would actually try what many people have been telling you to do.
PS. You are hard to avoid in this forum. You post everywhere. TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER. TELL ME AND YOUR BRAIN TO F**K OFF AND GO FOR A WALK. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 19:56:11
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Sorry you feel that way about me Joyful..but I do appreciate your honesty..It is a free country and I have been told by others on here that I can post as much as I need or want to..You don't have to read my posts, just pass over them, ignore them if they cause you to be angry...ALthough my guess is that 'they',,,my posts, could not possibly be the true cause of your anger...You don't know me, and as I said, you don't have to read my posts or write back either...I AM TAKING THE ADVICE ON HERE THE BEST THAT I CAN..and if I was such a screw up then I would NOT have made the friends that I made on here...I am emailing almost daily w/ several people that I connected w/ ON THIS FORUM...And...a few have even told me that my posts ACTUALLY HELPED THEM or were a positive, not a terrible negative that you make it sound like..
I don't know you or your pain situation...but i am in a considerable amount of pain and have been stuck inside for over 6 weeks w/ this particular bout of TMS..So the last thing i need is to have dark, angry or uncomfortable conversations like this..If someone like Chris, Dave, Art, Susie, NDB, Beth, Tom, Miche, Jay or Darko and more said the same thing, I would not take it the way I am taking it coming from someone I haven't heard anything from til now. Yes I did feel that a few replies were on the harsh side recently...but...all of that has since been cleared up..And I APOLOGIZED for being overly sensitive to their well meaning advice...I always felt that in between the words they were ALL coming from a caring place and trying to help me! The end result was a positive and a healing...
HOWEVER, in your case..I do NOT feel that..There is some malice in your words, that is what I am picking up..So perhaps You are using ME as a scapegoat for YOUR OWN ISSUES...think about it. And...if you read even some recent posts by many others..I am surely not the ONLY ONE who has doubts or difficulties repudiating the structural diagnosis and believing they have TMS...It is a theme from the beginning of this forum..I have read previous posts just like mine from 2 years ago..and there were people struggling w/ accepting they have TMS back then too...I am NOT the only one...I do believe i have it, and I am doing the work..And if I lived in NJ still I am sure Dr. Sarno would accept me as a patient...I am already in therapy w/ a great therapist who studied w/ Dr. Sarno himself...He does not judge me for my doubts and neither should you... |
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wolf29
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 20:44:03
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Perhaps joyful was trying to get you angry in a good way . If it gets you angry and makes you prove her wrong then her post would have served it's purpose.
Just guessing. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 20:49:20
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| Maybe, but I don't think so because she and I have never communicated b4 this...If we had an established cyber pal relationship like I have with you and several others, that would be different..But this was the first time, if my memory is correct, that she ever wrote to me...She was definitely coming from an angry place..and my guess is that anger is within herself and has nothing to do with me... |
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j0yful
17 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 21:46:15
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| Dating sites??????? Watch out Jay! She's fishing for a savoir. |
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j0yful
17 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 21:47:32
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| I repeat YOU LIKE BEING MISERABLE. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 21:58:43
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| Wow...you really are an angry person and have a little evil streak there too...I feel sorry for you, whoever you are...To be that mean to someone you don't even know shows me that you are not a healthy or balanced individual...You could try to bait me with more nastiness or get me angry, whatever, it won't work...You don't even exist as far as I am concerned.. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 22:09:54
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| I just looked back into your previous posts Joyful, to see if we ever wrote to each other b4...How ironic that you had spoken to me about verbal abuse when that is EXACTLY what you are doing now in your interactions via email w/ me...Guess that is why you are so versed in the subject..You clearly have some direct experience w/ this...Probably being an abuser yourself... |
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Symbolism & TMS symptoms
