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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
 Posted - 07/10/2006 : 10:01:58
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Hi Everyone,
I have a decision to make and I wanted some feedback especially from the old timers on the board...If you have read any of my recent posts I am starting to exercise again, thank God! It does seem like it is helping. I notice this especially in the morning when the range of motion looking left and right is better upon arising..B4 I got on this board and shortly after i bent over to pick up the ice pack off my knee, I saw a Nucca chiropractor here. For those who don't know they only adjust (gently) the very first vertabrae, C1 in the neck, the Atlas...It is their belief that adjusting the Atlas fixes the entire spine in time..and balancing the leg lengths, etc..I had 2 adjustments and at first lost even more range of motion and had very weird neuro symptoms afterwards like my whole head moving slightly on it's own while at rest in bed a few times..Very scary stuff..But then a couple days later it did seem like there was less tightness in the very upper right side of my neck ..(occiput and above)..it seems like i could move my neck better once my body got 'used to' the adjustment...
This doc definitely messed me up regarding accepting that i have TMS when he told me my neck was in an S curve and my head tilted to the left! He said there were no arthritic changes (that was good to hear) and my C1 was not rotated..whatever that means..He did focus alot on the herniated discs reprimanding me for letting another chiro do a high speed adjustment on my neck one and a half years ago..Now that definitely hurt me...I came home after that high speed adjustment and everytime i turned in bed the whole room was spinning...he clearly knocked something out of whack..Went to an acquaintence friend who was a retired chiro and he did some cranial sacral work on me and the dizziness stopped...BUT...I never regainded full range of motion, especially looking up...However..I did get back to the gym, etc..and was able to bend and drive fine until 6 weeks ago when the neck started again...
SOrry this is so long..just want to answer some questions b4 they are asked..Okay...so...when I went to this Nucca chiro 5 weeks ago there was a discount if you pay for treatments ahead..So I have 4 prepaid treatments still coming to me...I don't really like this chiropractors bedside manner too much and he sure isn't aware of TMS...But as I said, after a few days i did notice some improvement from his adjustment..And although i am walking again, that spot on the upper right side of my neck remains tight alot of the time...Here and there it will loosen a bit, especially after i have been laying down..This kind of scares me cuz i start to wonder is it structural again...Like why is it better after sleeping all night or laying down for a nap...Then I tell myself how the heck can my C1 bone be moving in and out of place based on sleeping...I can't be that fragile!
I am worried about asking this doc for my money back for the 4 prepaid sessions if I chose to not try this one more time...I am scared to try it cuz of how my body reacted to it initially...But when i even try to do self massage near the occiputs...the right side has those little rocks..like muscles spasms in the area...and is so much tighter then the left..Could that all be lack of blood flow/oxygen from the TMS??
I have been putting off deciding about this because i have been focusing on the TMS dx...but i never got an official DX from a TMS doc and cannot afford to right now...I know many on here have gotten well w/o the TMS doc DX...but I was considering doing a phone consult w/ Dr. Sopher..However..I think in person would be better..He is all the way in NH and I cannot afford to travel there...As many of you know i am having phone therapy w/ a TMS therapist and that is helping..but I am feeling impatient about this area of my neck that is soooo tight and not being able to drive, etc..like a normal person...
My art exhibition is coming up on July18 and I really want to be feeling alot better somehow, someway, by then..
Any thoughts on all of this?
Seems like i am back at square one again..repudiating the structural..I must admit that some of what i read on here kind of got me in that mode again..Is my brain trying to sabotage the progress i have made, however small??
Thanx for listening...Hoping to hear from some of the old timers becuase you have so much wisdom and inspiration in your stories.. |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 10:34:21
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Hello Karen,
It's really clear that you are focused on the physical, so your brain is winning, but just for now. Remember, whenever you get close to accepting TMS, the brain is going to put up a big fight to try to convince you you're on the wrong track, and divert your attention back to the physical.
I know, you don't want to ask for your money back from the Chiro because you don't want that confrontation. I understand that, too. I am an unconscious approval seeker myself.
Stop focusing on the physical. You're up and coming exhibit is causing your neck pain more than your needing to get rid of your neck pain before then.
I would ONLY go to the Chiro again if you could convince yourself that it's just for pleasure, and to relax. Make up your mind a head of time that you will just laugh (on the inside) at his structural findings. I sometimes have a massage just for the relaxation of it. It's been almost a year since I had one though, so I don't do it regularly.
Re: your exhition, do whatever you need to do Art wise to prepare for that. It's important that you resume all normal activity, especially with regard to your work.
Are you journalling?
Beth |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 10:53:55
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Hey Beth,
Was just going to write back to you from my regular email address..Have to check my msgs there...Thanx for your feedback! I was thinking that my brain may be putting in it's last ditch attempt to keep me STUCK in this awful mode of thinking i have something wrong with my neck...I wouldn't be relaxed at all if i went to this chiro...He doesn't have very good bedside manner and he always focuses on the physical stuff...herniated discs and more...He is the last person that would be open to TMS i think...Massage on my back works great but doing it on my neck would probalby make things worse...It is too sensitive up there...I do some self massage and can feel those little rocks (muscles spasms) esp. on the right side...I guess that is the lack of blood/oxygen that my brain is creating to keep the TMS going..But i really do feel something different in that part of my neck...Thank God i have a phone therapy session at 11 this morning.. I will check in with you after that..How are you doing?
Hugs,
Karen |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 11:08:47
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The answer is simple. If you want to treat your pain as TMS, you absolutely positively must not go to the chiropractor. Period.
If you still feel on some level that the chiropractor can help ease your pain, you have not accepted the TMS diagnosis.
Last week you spoke about feeling some relief in your neck when you were able to vent some emotions after a therapy session. Didn't this boost your confidence in the TMS diagnosis?
The majority of people do not need a TMS physician to diagnose them. If you fit the personality types described by Dr. Sarno, and have similar symptoms to those described, there is a high probability it is TMS.
Even if you cannot accept it, why not just take a leap of faith?
You cannot get better unless you repudiate the structural diagnosis. When you feel pain, you need to accept that it is benign, and focus your attention on psychological issues. If you are still thinking that the problem has a physical cause, you're not there yet.
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 11:19:39
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I hear ya Dave..You are so right...I just think this is my brains last ditch attempt to convince me it's physical so I don't keep working so hard on healing from the TMS...A leap of faith would be the best thing I could do..I feel like i am backsliding today and I am not sure why..I am feeling very sad too...Maybe it has something to do w/ the fact that I am ALONE AGAIN...My roomie is back at work, and here i am still essentially stuck in the house til i can drive freely w/o the danger of crashing..I still can't look enough left or right to drive safely...I have to get painting and stop procrastinating ...my show is coming up on the 18th..
THanx for writing... |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 13:52:57
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Karen, You are feeling SAD because it is a TMS affective equivalent like depression and other emotional TMS equivalents. Now that you are making progress beating the gremlin on the physical/sturctural TMS front, he is attacking you on the affective TMS emotional front. You are in a battle with the TMS gremlin and he attacks on all fronts.
You have got him resorting to snipeing at you. Snipers are not even liked by soldiers in their own army, because they are considered to fight dirty. Snipers don't fight you face to face. They attack you unseen. The TMS gremlin is a dirty fighter. You are going to have to get your hands dirty.
The Good Doctor discusses this in his new book, THE DIVIDED MIND. He refers to this as the "SYMPTOM IMPERATIVE". When you beat one TMS symptom, another will pop up to take it's place, until YOU address the underlying emotional/psychological issues. You can knock down one TMS symptom after another, with placebo effect "cures", but unless it's root psychological causes are dealt with, face to face, the gremlin will play you--rather than you playing the gremlin.
Best Wishes,
tt   |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 15:45:14
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| Thanks Tom, I hear you...Sometimes I feel like i have soooo many ROOTS to weed out that I will be in this condition for years b4 I get to them all...I got better last year by just resuming my walking gradually...so I am hoping that since i am finally doing this work more seriously perhaps it will happen sooner and stick this time...I would love to be like many on here wherein when it crops up again, I recognize and get rid of it fast... |
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FlyByNight
Canada
209 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2006 : 07:44:49
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signer
I went through the same period as you do actually ... and you know what, I had a lot of hope each time I was returning to the chiro just because I was overanalysing my symptoms and I was falsely trying to convince myself that it could help me ...
In fact It made me just worse and worse each time I went to ....
Hope --- disapointment --- hope ------ disapointment --- hope ------ discouragement ... then Depression ... and so on ..... This is the catch 22 that TMS want you to stay in, its the perfect disctraction...
DO NOT LOOK FOR A QUICK FIX ....IT WILL JUST POSTPONE YOUR RECOVERY.... THERE IS A REASON WHY TMS IS OVERWHELMING YOU... THIS IS THE REAL WORK AND WHAT YOU NEED TO DIG IN....
P. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2006 : 08:27:37
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Thanx FlybyNight,
Good to know I am not the only one who had been confused in this way...I appreciate your sharing w/ me...I am going to try to get my money back from this chiro...(the 4 sessions I prepaid for when this first happened, 6 weeks ago..)
~Karen |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2006 : 10:35:07
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thanks buddy! I am just now getting into the Divided Mind...Have temporarily put the other TMS books i am reading aside til i finish it...
Hugs,
karen |
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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2006 : 06:17:19
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What Dave said...
110%
If you keep doubting the condition then you're never going to get over this. Also keep in mind, getting over TMS does not happen instantaneously for most. It's a process that takes time.
We can tend to fall into the "calendar" phenomeon that Sarno speaks of, checking day by day why aren't we better yet? This hinders recovery. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2006 : 08:49:24
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thanx Maryalma...I know you are right...I have been trying to stop thinking about why this isn't happening faster and why I take one step forward and 2 back...I realize this only adds to the stress and makes things worse...Just returned from a 40 minute walk...That is the longest I have been able to do since this acute attack started 7 weeks ago...So although my neck is still locked and i still have pain, I am convinced the walking, journaling, reading is going to heal me in time...Everytime the pain increases lately I am doing my best to think Psychological...What am i feeling just b4 the volume of the pain turned up?
Appreciate your message!  |
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Nucca Chiro..feedback please..:)
