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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
 Posted - 06/27/2006 : 22:10:01
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This is only reposting today because I edited my personal email address from this previous post, due to the anonymous nasty letter I received today at my private address...I did not write this today...
Forgive me for posting so much recently...I am in the middle of an acute attack of TMS and going a bit stir crazy staying inside and in so much pain...I feel guilty every time i see my name all over the board..I am not a selfish person and I don't want to come across that I feel my pain is more important then anyone else's because it is not...I just have very little support regarding the whole TMS thing, with the exception of the great people i have connected with on here..Maybe I have become a little too dependent on some of you and for that I apologize...I will try to control myself...I want us all to get well... |
Edited by - Singer_Artist on 07/12/2006 14:37:12 |
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Indy
Canada
45 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 05:04:10
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Singer Artist
Don't "try to control" anything. You obviously need to express yourself and release that "energy" (see my posts to Maryalma8 re energy). If you're feeling guilty about all your posts, don't. You may want to consider redirecting your mental thoughts and your energy towards journaling. Think of your journal as a long-time, good-listening friend - "a friend at the end of your pen" (Kathleen Adams)
Cheers
Indy |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 09:38:10
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Thanx Indy,
That is good advice...Everyone is suggesting I journal as i have been procrastinating on it because it feels overwhelming to me...Also it's hard to look down and my neck/shoulders get tight so easily, but that is no excuse i just have to start... |
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Indy
Canada
45 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 10:51:53
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Singer Artist
Glad to hear that you are considering journaling. Trust me, it can be very healing. Begin anywhere, but just begin. Do it as much or as little as you want. There are no rules. You might begin by asking yourself why you think that it would be "overwhelming". Journaling is actually fun, insightful, and rewarding for the person who sticks with it.
I'm going to stick my neck out here, use my intuition, and say something that I hope will be enlightening for you. I apologize if I'm off course. All the postings that you've been doing on this site are the result of your reaching out for emotional support rather than physical help. A part of you, I suspect, believes that she is not supported in life and deserves help. Your resistance to help yourself by journaling, for example, is a probable testament as to why your neck is causing you so much trouble. Problems in the neck can be caused from emotional resistance, stubbornness, inflexibility, and refusing to see other sides of a question. (Louise Hay) It also represents your ability to support yourself emotionally or not feeling supported in life. I bet that your neck is really bad after reading others' comments here about all your postings because you don't feel supported and that's what your neck does - support you. It's not about whether anyone here does or does not support you; it's about whether you support yourself. Discover your own strength and support by journaling and you will have less of a need to reach out to others for support.
Cheers
Indy
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 12:20:34
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Hi Indy,
Makes perfect sense what you are saying...Yes I feel lack of family support, indeed...My one sibling is in her own self absorbed world and only reaches out to me when she needs something from me...My parents have been gone for 16 yrs and left way too soon in life...My neices/nephews are in touch mostly when i am back in NJ..haven't been there in almost 3 years..They call on occasion, but rarely...I have a couple of cousins who are consistent but that is it..And i never married no children..so family is VERY lacking and hurts me to the core...I am very family oriented..The only reason i didn't marry so far is because most of my adult life was spent singing on the road, and not conducive to a 'normal' married life...Now i regret that because here i am in my 40's and living like a college student..Renting a room in my dear friends home in Vegas! It is embarassing in a way, yes..My friends are my family but most of my long term very close pals are in other states...so i feel very alone here in Las Vegas..Thank God i have made new friends recently from church and online...So that is a good thing..But all in all I do feel lack of support in my life, for sure...And i used to be able to support myself very well...Since the TMS has been happening on and off for years, my finances have suffered...If i cold afford to move back to NJ I sure would, in a heart beat...But i cannot...I am living solely off art sales and teaching a few voice students who now have to come to the house because i cannot drive to the music school for the past month...I am wondering, does writing even this to you count as journeling in a way? I have done alot of writing, posting and some about feelings..So maybe i have already begun the process...I know i have to get serious and just sit down and do the work...Part of why i am holding off is because my neck/shoulders get tighter when i try to write or even type or read for too long...Thanks again for your great insight! |
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ndb
209 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 13:05:09
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quote:
Originally posted by Singer_Artist
Hi Indy,
I am wondering, does writing even this to you count as journeling in a way? I have done alot of writing, posting and some about feelings..So maybe i have already begun the process..
hi karen,
it does count, but in my experience, you can go more into the hurtful angry things you are feeling when you write in private. also you can go in more detail, and say things which you might not say in public. i would tell you some of mine, but i can't say them in public :-). but for example, hypothetically suppose you were in a situation where you were having to take care of an aged parent, and though you love them, this is very demanding. If you were to journal, you could explore (horrible, unthinkable) feelings like...'i wish they would just die! so i wouldn't have to take care of them...i have to take care of my kids too! how much can i do!' etc. i have found this sort of exploration of unthinkable thoughts about the situations in your life helps you get in touch with your repressed anger.
ndb |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 13:43:05
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Sorry friends...this old one is only showing up again because I am editing my personal email from previous posts...
Thanx NDB...I would love to talk to you where i didn't have to sensor, btw...since we are on the subject..I feel a connection with you from the first time you wrote me...If I could have your address or give you mine would you be okay with writing via regular email sometime as well? Your posts are so valuable to me...Speaking of parents, I lost mine 16 yrs ago which i probably said here a million times..I miss them terribly..But re. having those unthinkable thoughts i must admit i have had them about my only sister who is 9 years older and in essence doesn't give a you know what about me...I don't have kids, never married...So loneliness is a biggy for me too...Thanx again so much for your replies... |
Edited by - Singer_Artist on 07/12/2006 14:26:39 |
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Indy
Canada
45 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 14:25:34
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Hi NDB
There's writing from the conscious mind which is what we already know. Most of us on this Forum are writing from the conscious mind because we are seeking or giving help, venting, and trying to understand our wonderful bodies. It's mostly rational thinking and expressions of "what is". My experiences with healing writing comes from the subconscious, intuitive, creative mind, and unconscious mind. Healing writing opens doors to understanding yourself because it helps discover and understand your "shadow" or "subpersonalities" who control you and how you live your life. You will know when your journaling is healing when you can work through problems, heal your relationships, recover from grief, overcome childhood wounds, interpret dreams, and access the subconscious.
Try writing with your undominant hand for a while. Ask yourself a question, and then start writing. Put down whatever comes without thinking about it, judging it or critiquing it. Let your pen flow.
Here are some resources for you:
www.journaltherapy.com
"Journal to the Self" by Kathleen Adams
"The Power of Your Other Hand" by Lucia Capacchione
Cheers
Indy
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 14:56:30
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| Great post Indy....Thanx! I have tried using my left hand years ago and i am going to try it again..But I also want to write out my life pressures list and personality traits as well as the anger list...I just want to be a good Sarno student and get well already! |
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sorry 4 posting so much
