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Shannon
9 Posts |
 Posted - 06/09/2006 : 11:38:53
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Hi everyone!
I'm new to the list but not too new to TMS. I discovered Dr. Sarno's theory and approach back in November 05 after battling leg,buttock & foot pain diagnosed as "piriformis syndrome" for 6 years. I read the books, applied the concepts, wrote in a journal, did some of Schechter's workbook and got better. Lingering minor pain but not much to write about.
Then a setback about 3 weeks ago. I'm managing quite well - trying to give myself credit for the little successes and not give in to the fear. I've always had a perplexing question (which could be my TMS in disguise..) - is it necessary to find the exact emotional event/trigger/cause of the pain or is the process of thinking psychologically and repudiating the physical enough? There are a few times in Dr. Sarno's books where he says that someone was having a lot trouble and then they zeroed in on the exact memory or event and their pain went away. This bothers me a bit.
I've written down every darn personality trait and trudged down memory lane of all the hurtful, angering things in childhood and life. I don't have an issue going for psycotherapy if that helps and I have certainly been very open to examining all the issues (feelings of dependency, inferiority, goodism, perfectionism etc.) I guess the process is working again because I'm not drowning in pain - perhaps i'm just disapointed and frustrated because I was doing so well (and yes, there was a ton of stressors that led to this 2nd wave of TMS).
Just wondering if anyone has an opinion on this - perhaps I'm too sensitive to what he writes in his books but occasionaly it seems as though there is a magic button of repression that his patients have found.
Great forum. Thanks to all. |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2006 : 05:23:19
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Hi Shannon,
As you say, there is the occasional case where one particular event seems to cause the pain, but I think there are lots of cases where there isn’t one particular cause, and it could be lots of little things.
Congratulations on your success and all the best with overcoming your current pain.
Hilary N |
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shari
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2006 : 08:57:13
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quote:
is it necessary to find the exact emotional event/trigger/cause of the pain or is the process of thinking psychologically and repudiating the physical enough?
I was wondering the same thing myself. I've been struggling daily for about four weeks now, going over my lists of feelings experienced in childhood, personality traits, everyday pressures. I've made some amazing discovery about why I am this way or behave that way, but I don't feel I've really touched that ONE repressed feeling that can make my unconscious stop what it's doing. I've made little progress so far and often get discouraged. But the woman who referred me to the books of Dr. Sarno said it took her two months to get over her pain. So I try to be patient and persistent. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2006 : 06:08:44
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Hi Shannon,
You are correct, it is not always necessary to find out the exact cause of your anger. As HilaryN says, it could be an accumulation of many small things that add up over time. So do not be disappointed at all that you have not discovered "the cause", because in your case there may not be "a cause" to discover.
Over time on your TMS journey you may discover things about your past that have played a role in your condition, but there is no requirement for you to find them in order for you to recover from your recent minor relapse.
You are on the right track in that you are fortunate to have discovered Dr. Sarno's work and you now have to tools you need to be pain free.
Take care, -Stryder |
Edited by - Stryder on 06/13/2006 06:09:15 |
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bestcaddy
27 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2006 : 11:29:46
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Any ideas on how to make my journaling more focused ? Sometimes, I just start writing about random things, and I go off on non pain related issues, It sort of becomes like a list of complaints.
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2006 : 12:40:32
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bestcaddy,
It actually sounds like you have a good base for your journaling. Complaints can be major indicators of what is upsetting us unconsciously, if we try to explore them with that in mind.
I use the Schechter workbook to help focus my journaling, which some people don't like but I find helpful. Other things I do are think about past events that were upsetting to me and explore unexpected reactions that I have in the course of life. Sometimes I have a thought that surprises me and reveals something about my thinking patterns, like when I found myself getting excessively angry with careless drivers. I don't drive, and I realized that although my conscious belief is that everyone should make the transportation decision that works best for them, unconsciously I think no one should drive!
Exploring any emotionally important issue, or thinking of a time when you had some unpleasant feeling (sadness, anger, fear, disappointment), can help. Another thing that is interesting is to think of a time when you had an exciting event in your life, and ponder whether that event was also causing unconscious negative feelings. I found that when I think back to my BA graduation, which was the time my TMS started and was itself a positive thing, there were a lot of conflicting emotions there. Really try to think about things at a deep level.
I hope these suggestions are of help to you! |
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bestcaddy
27 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2006 : 12:05:44
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Graduating was a very conflicting time with me, at 24 it is still something I am coping with and possibly moving out west could be a trigger for my back pain, thank you for the tips. How do you deal with negative people in your life who are obsessed with guiding you towards structural explanations as opposed to what we see as the truth? I feel lots of doubt in my mind comes after I have conversations with friends or loved ones.
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2006 : 13:09:24
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quote:
How do you deal with negative people in your life who are obsessed with guiding you towards structural explanations as opposed to what we see as the truth?
Avoid talking about TMS or your pain with them as much as you can. When I started seriously trying to tackle my condition with the TMS approach I avoided telling people about it, because I knew my only chance was to believe in it completely and I didn’t want anyone dampening my belief, or asking me every few days “So how’s it going?” and me having to report that there was no difference. (Hard enough to deal with one’s own doubts without anyone else adding to them!)
Initially I thought I should maybe read some criticisms of Sarno in order to get a “balanced” view – but for the same reason I didn’t do that.
When you started this work you’re in a vulnerable place. You’ve read about it working for others but you have no proof it will work for you – yet.
Once it works for you you’re in a strong place: people can scorn it, but they can’t take away the fact that it has worked for you.
If people are pressurizing to take a structural route, just tell them you want to take some time out or something and want to be left alone to deal with the problem yourself. Tell them you don’t want to rush in to anything like an operation which has no guarantee of working, for example.
Hilary N |
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bestcaddy
27 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2006 : 14:17:12
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| Thank you for your feedback, it is hard to consistenly believe especially when others don't, and I too had my doubts at first, but taking things one day, one minute at a time has been the best remedy so far, re reading all the sarno stuff all day long, which I did at first isn't the technique that seemed to work, conciously I find myself trying to push myself along, and plan things out, which I have identified as the reason I am in this mess, any success stories anyone can share to enourage any of us including myself ? |
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Jim1999
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2006 : 20:22:50
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quote:
Originally posted by bestcaddy
Any ideas on how to make my journaling more focused ? Sometimes, I just start writing about random things, and I go off on non pain related issues, It sort of becomes like a list of complaints.
Bestcaddy,
I recovered from severe TMS (fibromyalgia) seven years ago and am still virtually pain-free today. I consider journaling to be a very important part of my recovery. I explained how I focused my journaling in this posting: http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=1135&whichpage=1 I purposely avoided issues that were obviously about pain, like things I had missed out on because of my pain. I wanted to focus on how my pain got started, rather than the results of the pain.
I hope this helps!
Jim
P.S. I have very limited Internet access at the moment. If you have any questions, it could be a few days before I could respond. |
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bestcaddy
27 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2006 : 22:42:41
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I need some motivation, I bought the Amir book and it is so complex and very I dont know kinda corny, any opinions, I ran today crazy style and it went well, so i went back to my computer and I feel the pain WTF, help me someone!!! Any SAn Fran people out there want to start a TMS group let me know.
Cheers |
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bdystore
18 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2006 : 23:21:02
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quote:
Originally posted by Shannon
Hi everyone!
I guess the process is working again because I'm not drowning in pain - perhaps i'm just disapointed and frustrated because I was doing so well (and yes, there was a ton of stressors that led to this 2nd wave of TMS).
Just wondering if anyone has an opinion on this - perhaps I'm too sensitive to what he writes in his books but occasionaly it seems as though there is a magic button of repression that his patients have found.
Great forum. Thanks to all.
Pain and memories are like the layers of an onion. How deep the feeling go depends on you. It's probably a minor setback. You know what they say " one step forward, two steps back". Eventually, we begin to recognize the triggers sooner which leads to quicker healing times.
Sometimes I like to ask: Who or what is creating this pain in my *ss?
or fill in the blank: __________is a pain in the butt
Doing________is a pain in the butt
Try to have a little fun with this. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2006 : 09:27:08
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| Awesome suggestion Bdystore..I am going to try it w/ the sentence ________is a pain in my neck or doing___________is a pain in the neck, etc...I love it! Thanx |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2006 : 10:09:32
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quote:
Originally posted by bestcaddy
I need some motivation, I bought the Amir book and it is so complex and very I dont know kinda corny, any opinions, I ran today crazy style and it went well, so i went back to my computer and I feel the pain WTF, help me someone!!! Any SAn Fran people out there want to start a TMS group let me know.
Cheers
Hi Bestcaddy,
I'm in the SF/Southern Marin area. Sorry to hear you're not doing so hot. Give me a call if you want. My cell phone number is 415 264 4090.
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ktulu
14 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2006 : 12:13:06
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| This site has become increasingly useful. After reading bdystore's post, I started thinking how I get my pain. I've noticed that I always get my pain after doing something physical, whether its stretching, lifting weights, wrestling, or playing some sport. I wonder if the reason I tend to get chronic pain after a light workout might be a big fear that I've associated sports with pain. |
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jrnythpst
USA
134 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2006 : 12:32:14
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Mine gets worse when in a relationship, probably cause they have all been bad to some degree. I will explain more on these at a later posting when I feel more confidant doing so. They get worse when I have a horrible boss (this one told me I should be a summer flower in full blossom and be upbeat and perky 24/7....he is still a trigger..saw his picture in the paper one day...yep pain got worse). Every "flare" up is definitely correlated to some kind of emotional strain. I am figuring out what my triggers are which I guess is step one...the next step is harder for sure. At least I am more aware now. Susie is being sweet and allowing me to borrow her video lecture, so hopefully I will have more to report after I view it.
Hugs,
Ali Cat |
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bestcaddy
27 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2006 : 13:16:54
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Thanks Tom,
Today I feel a bit better physically, I am going to go on a crazier run than yesterday and pull some body over mind, which has helped, it just seems that focusing on all the new agey, "I am not going to hurt" I don't feel like I should have to say that everyday to make myself believe it, I believe I can not hurt anymore. In order to get there I have to 100 % believe in what TMS is, I feel I am like 75% there the next 25 will come from focusing on my issues rather than the pain. But I am seeing more and more, especially today that this
"Pain" was protecting me from emotional pain in my life, it is very hard to deal with this emotional pain and it is depressing to me, the physical pain was protecting me from it. I want to get to the point where I am so thankful for going through all of this because I will have realized that it changed my life. anyone care to share some words of advise?
bestcaddy |
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bdystore
18 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2006 : 13:18:52
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I used to work as an office manager. I would usually greet customers at the front desk. Most of the time, the customer had some issue I felt personally responsible for. So, I would approach the front desk in a rigid, butt cheeks clenched, ready for battle form. I finally noticed that my cheeks were clenched because I usually went home with a low back ache and a minor case of IBS. Because I had put the two together, front desk and confrontation, I was constantly in a state of defense. My clue to change my behavior, the clenched butt cheeks. I kept wondering what's going on here? What am I trying to protect? Forgive me for being graphic, but here goes:
I didnt want to take it up the butt, again
I was creating a situation in which I was victimized over and over again. I assumed nothing was going change. I took it all very personally. First thing I did, take myself out of the equation. It was not about me. For me, that removed alot of anger and anxiety. My head cleared and my body relaxed. Hey, not overnite!
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bestcaddy
27 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2006 : 15:52:03
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| So I probably just went on one of the longest runs I have ever gone in the last year or so, before my back "cracked" in December I do remember having to take tylenol just to endure the pain of a run like I did today, but I did it without anything, maybe a little morning coffee. But as I sit here typing, I am in the exact same pain I was when I left to do my run, to me that is victory alone, if my back were injured how would one be able to do a 5 mile run and then feel the exact same lingering pain in my back/left butt, it just doesn't make any sense to me. I think I have been too obsessed with trying to get rid of this pain instead of going about the process in a relaxed way. However, this is the way I am and probably the reason I am in pain, all I focus on is consistent future planning without actually ever following up on it and then when I don't acomplish whatever it was I randomly thought about myself I punish myself mentally. I am also way too concerned with how others perceive. Anyways, I just had a great run and I am going to reward my inner child for it with some in and out, maybe he will get with the program and end my freakin back pain !!! Any other stories to share ? I think by all of us going to war together this TMS has no chance, if it wasn't for back pain think about how many people would be out of a job. I am getting happy just thinking of all the money I am going to save on treatments and doctors!!! |
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nd2139
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2006 : 18:04:57
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Hello Bestcaddy,
Congratulations for the improvement in your TMS!
One thing that is really helpful to me in the treatment of TMS is that one must completely accept the diagnosis to solve TMS. That however doesn't happen over night. I think you learn how to deal with TMS the same way that you learn to play tennis or ride a bike. First you try to do the moves consciously and it doesn't work so well. But if you persevere, the tennis moves become more intuitive, and you don't have to think about it much most of the time.
It's the same with TMS. I think it was a good idea to go running despite the pain, because by doing that you strengthen your confidence in the diagnosis. You're telling the brain that the diversion doesn't work any longer.
At times I have internalized the diagnosis so well that when I felt the pain it made me laugh. It's really like when someone tries to sell you something that you know is rubbish, and the arguments they give you seem so ridiculous that you can't help but laugh. I wish it was like this for me all the time, but occasionally I still get freaked out by the pain. I guess sharing with others and "bulling it through" like Sarno says is the way to go.
Best of luck,
Nicholas |
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nd2139
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2006 : 18:17:30
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I've always had a perplexing question (which could be my TMS in disguise..) - is it necessary to find the exact emotional event/trigger/cause of the pain or is the process of thinking psychologically and repudiating the physical enough? There are a few times in Dr. Sarno's books where he says that someone was having a lot trouble and then they zeroed in on the exact memory or event and their pain went away. This bothers me a bit.
Hello Shannon,
I've been wondering about it, too. Sarno sometimes says that you have to pinpoint the exact trauma to get rid of the pain, and sometimes says that mere awareness that the pain has a psychological source is sufficient.
I've had both situations. One time my paycheck was four weeks late and was 1000 dollars less than I expected. Two hours later I had migraine! I made the connection (how smart) and I forced myself to go out and ignore the pain and it went away gradually.
I believe you're right in saying that your obsession around this technical question is a form of TMS. Notice that the question you are asking potentially weakens your confidence in the diagnosis, since there is a seeming inconsistency there in the TMS approach. Notice also that while you are racking your brain for a "fact" or memory that you could link to your pain, you are overlooking the fact that there is actually nothing to worry about since there is nothing wrong with you structurally. When you do that, you are falling into the TMS trap through worry around some technical point rather than through pain, but the result is the same.
Ideally it's probably better to have a clear cause-and-effect chain of events because in those cases the TMS is so obvious that it's a lot easier to see that it's a phony and get over it. If you can't pinpoint the event I think it's critical to not worry about it and enjoy your life undeterred by this minor setback.
Thanks for sharing!
Nicholas |
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"Finding" the trigger...?
