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kjarvis
Canada
36 Posts |
 Posted - 04/08/2006 : 14:38:45
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I have foud that a big part of my rage is the fact that I got married, started a new job as a police officer which is often boring and built a new home. The inner child is screaming too much responsibility. I know there is a part of me wishing to have no responsibility and despises the fact that I am locked into a job and payments and marital pressure. i was wondering if anyone had any of these insights into their rage and if they were able to rid themselves of TMS without having to leave their spouse, quit their job or sell their house. Also it seems when I am doing very well and seem like I have a grip thoughts like, "is their a God and if not then life is meaningless come to my thoughts. These thoughts keep me very anxious and depressed because of the lack of answers
and feel very down and confused. Anyone that can make sense of any of this babbling is most welcome to take a shot at some insight or advice, it would be greatly apprecitaed.
Kevin. |
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vnwees
64 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2006 : 15:17:47
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| kevin, perhaps there are other things going on in your life besides tms that need to be looked at? just a thought... good luck! vicki |
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kjarvis
Canada
36 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2006 : 15:35:01
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there is a lot going on in my life but is that not the point where the TMS sometimes starts? I am not sure what you are saying. I beat the pelvic pain and the back pain and the neck pain using sarno's meathod it just seems the anxiety and depressive moods are more stubborn and I was wondering if anyone dealt with some of the same insights into their rage and was able to beat the ligering symptoms without changing their whole life?
Kevin. |
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vnwees
64 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2006 : 17:17:00
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wow! that's awesome that you've been so successful at dealing with the physical pain issues! as you know, it's no small feat. i applaud all your efforts.
re: your question about dealing with rage, which i certainly believe causes the anxiety/depression...i successfully dealt with the physical pain in '98 after reading sarno. a few years later, within a 3 year period, my son committed suicide, then 1 at a time, i lost my dad, mom and beloved dog, (who'd helped me thru all the deaths). the anxiety, panic attacks, depression and RAGE were unreal and endless. life became a thing only to endure. suicide wasn't an option because i knew what that would do to my loved ones. i felt trapped in hell with no way out. never had i experienced such despair/rage/grief/remorse/guilt...did i mention RAGE?
it has been a slower, harder process this time around, but sarno's program IS working. i'm also seeking additional support...unfortunatly no "sarno" friends where i live. but every bit helps. thruout this process i've sought to find a higher power (still struggling with that one) and had to look long and hard at a prescription drug i started to abuse). underlying issues (repressed rage--different from the rage i was aware of) at some childhood stuff came up and a counselor helped some with that. it's not an easy road, but today i'd say the anxiety/depression are 80% gone. hope that helps. hang in there, vicki |
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PainFree
1 Posts |
Posted - 04/09/2006 : 14:39:26
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I am now a pain-free Dr. Sarno patient. When I saw J.S. at NYU he put me on Narcotics just to illustrate the level of my pain. I had many life-responsibilities with accompanying resentment, including wife and kids that I had not allowed myself to deal with. Ultimetly Dr. Sarno recomended a Psychologist through whom I was able to work enough out to resolve the pain. Primarily though, reconnecting myself to religion helped me resolve many of the underlying conflicts.
Good luck. |
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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2006 : 03:57:35
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| Baseball, you have a lot of insight into these kinds of stresses. Read some of Baseball's entries. He's been all over this topic over and over. It's a recurring theme. |
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vegomatic
24 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2006 : 07:52:36
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You shouldn't worry about defeating your rage. There will always be something, no matter how good your life is, that will upset your inner child.
What you should focus on are the CAUSES of your rage. Basically everything from childhood to now that has made you or your inner child angry. When you realize and concentrate on the source of your rage, this will help.
Treat the anxiety and depression like you did with your pelvic and back pain. Anxiety and depression are TMS equivalents.
Hope this helps. |
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vegomatic
24 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2006 : 08:09:15
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Let me also point out that I have dealt with anxiety, depression and OCD for 15 years. I only discovered the TMS equivalent when I started seeing Sarno after severe back pain developed. The back pain developed when my anxiety, depression and OCD diminished.
I have been off anti depressants for months and have been doing all right. Ocassionally I get an anxiety/OCD flare up (similar physical pain flare ups) but I work through them where as before I would be confined to my bed scared to get out (similar to physical pain). I am now able to live my life without the anxiety/OCD doesn't consuming it. |
Edited by - vegomatic on 04/11/2006 12:32:16 |
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skambera
USA
1 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2006 : 08:57:46
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please, please, please consider psychotherapy. it truly can help. and what have you got to lose? you don't like it, you can stop.quote:
Originally posted by kjarvis
I have foud that a big part of my rage is the fact that I got married, started a new job as a police officer which is often boring and built a new home. The inner child is screaming too much responsibility. I know there is a part of me wishing to have no responsibility and despises the fact that I am locked into a job and payments and marital pressure. i was wondering if anyone had any of these insights into their rage and if they were able to rid themselves of TMS without having to leave their spouse, quit their job or sell their house. Also it seems when I am doing very well and seem like I have a grip thoughts like, "is their a God and if not then life is meaningless come to my thoughts. These thoughts keep me very anxious and depressed because of the lack of answers
and feel very down and confused. Anyone that can make sense of any of this babbling is most welcome to take a shot at some insight or advice, it would be greatly apprecitaed.
Kevin.
Susan |
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anxo69
USA
36 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2006 : 15:15:52
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| Im the same as you . Im feeling like having a child and girlfriend and another house is too much ..Dont really feel like I want to be tied down like this. I love my daughter and cant leave her either. The girlfriend I could do without. We have our issues. Read my post's . I started panic attacks back when I was 19 when I had my first child. They stayed for 3 years , My wife left me and so did my daily panic attacks. 8 years ago they returned with the birth of my daughter. Now last year this back trouble. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 04/14/2006 : 14:32:03
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@Kjarvis....that would about sum up the causes I could pinpoint.You seem to be where I was about a year after recovery....painfree but left with a reservoir of anger so deep and profound that I didn't know what to do,other than perhaps hit somebody.
You know..I've been gone from the board for awhile and it's funny that no matter how effective I get at identifying and sometimes removing the stress inducing factors,new ones pop up all the time...It's a constant merry-go-round between my real life,my 'ego' life and my spiritual life....always out of balance.
I no longer believe in back pain.I have been fighting with my wife.My back doesn't hurt...I end up in the E-room unable to breathe terrified by an 'asthma' attack???
I really and truly deep down inside of my self have found that I absolutely positively do NOT like being married.However I am married with 2 boys (guilt,rage,anxiety)
As long as I can stay consciously aware that I am irked and irritated at the overwhelming amount of social pressure that is on me,I can have respite from my newest symptom (hypertension)....when I 'lose the center' and start to become OK with everything again,I get a panic attack or some other scary deal.
The awareness is the key and you might not be able to stand the awareness...I had to leave my job in the film biz,give up my coaching commitment and a couple of other drastic things to move towards the center...so far I've avoided divorce,though I won't say I won't ever get divorced...If my latest work into a deeper awareness can't maintain a level of health and symptom-free living that the cold hard fact is ..I might have to leave the Mrs. too.
It's a tough deal,but it's still better than being out there in the 'victim' world
-BB65
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Webdan65
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2006 : 17:52:29
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kjarvis:
I can appreciate your situation. Often times I find myself feeling trapped in the life I created for myself. What I can tell you is this. We are 100% responsible for everything we have in life. Everything. If you have a bad marriage, a lousy job, trouble with family, back pain, etc....it is all 100% our responsibility. Tough pill to swallow, but when we look in the mirror we know it's true. Sometimes it's really difficult to look in the mirror. I know.
It is true that we become what we think about. If we think we are miserable, trapped and leading a life we hate...of course we will get more of the same. Whatever you focus upon, you get more of.
It really is that simple. Change your focus, change your job, change your marriage, but do something besides wallowing in self pitty. You don't need to leave your spouse or your job. Simply viewing it all with a different mindset can be enough.
Chose to be happy then take actions to move you towards those things in life you really want. I'll say it again. Choose to be happy.
For those who haven't heard of Joe Vitale and his works, here is a couple books to read:
Life's missing instruction manual. A guide that should have been given to us at birth.
The attractor Factor.
You can check out some of his thoughts on mrfire.com.
Life changing material if you have an open mind.
Choose the life you want and take action every day to bring yourself towards what you desire.
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gevorgyan
115 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2006 : 01:09:13
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Kjarvis,
Such a thinking leads to nowhere. I know because I have been where you are.
Your present situation is the result of all of your efforts till now. So, probably is the best for you. Maybe the problem is that the things was going too quick and you just not used to them.
I am married, mother of two little girls, PhD in economics, civil servant with large responsibility. During my stay on this forum I was promoted by two levels and my earning was growing by 80%, my husband also received better work. The job and all around was accused by me for TMS. But it was not true. I have been fooled by my great will of finding the guilty.
Also I was “reconnected” with the church, and in this way I am trying to understand my place here, my role in the family and job. I am not blaming any more now I am grateful for all I received. Now I can see reason for recovery. I am calmed down.
I think that the will of escape can not help in healing process.
m
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Edited by - gevorgyan on 04/20/2006 01:12:50 |
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kjarvis
Canada
36 Posts |
Posted - 04/20/2006 : 16:39:53
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thank you soo much for your time and posts they are very incouraging. I appreciate any other comments or suggetions.
Kevin |
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sell everything and quit.
