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moose1
162 Posts |
 Posted - 03/15/2006 : 22:36:29
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All,
My TMS personality reveals itself perhaps most glaringly when I engage in catastrophizing, getting angry beyond ALL proportions to the cause of the anger, and spinning off into this dark hole, which is just a mess of anger, frustration, feeling unjustly wronged and feeling overall like a miserable slug for feeling these feelings in the first place. “Why can’t I just be calm, level-headed and reasonable like _______ always is?” is a common thought for me at these times.
Sounds bleak, doesn’t it? It is, and it’s something I’ve been dealing with all my life. The other day, something happened in my personal life that just sent me down into The Anger Hole. And you know what? As usual, the thing worked itself out, everything was fine...even better than before actually...and even knowing that this is the case 90% of time, I still can’t keep myself from going down that path. Even while it’s happening, I KNOW it’s happening, yet I can’t do anything to stop it. But, the good thing about it is this: I can look at myself during these times and think, “man, look at your thoughts, look at how totally over-exaggerated your making things, while beating yourself silly BECAUSE you KNOW what you’re doing is silly and pointless…it’s a wonder you’re not crippled with anger-based pain!”
Folks, if there was a contest for World’s Biggest Catastrophizer, I think I’d win the prize. However, I bet there’s some people on this board who’d beg to differ. That’s one reason why this board is so great. We’re all really angry in one way or another. So I’d like to hear other peoples’ stories about their runaway anger and the resulting bad effects of it, and how they deal with these moments. Is there a way to put the brakes on this thing?
Thanks!
Moose |
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poodlepower
2 Posts |
Posted - 03/15/2006 : 23:08:05
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Well, I think it first needs to be a socially acceptable solution... like say going Balboa on a heavy punching bag at the gym or finding humor in something that brings you down. The second one I'm really having trouble with. I live in a city that can be very rigid and not 'loose' enough.
The healthiest people on earth have social and family gatherings on a regular basis and let off some steam and feel better about themselves... all of them live what most of us would consider to be boring lives. Some don't even have telephones let alone a TV set.
I feel like crap after watching a bad movie but I feel great after a good one. It's no coincedence. There's stuff happening in the brain that's affecting the entire nervous system.
As they say in Britain - always look on the bright side of life! |
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imdplum
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2006 : 01:03:54
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Hi, there.
I got myself backed into the TMS corner by trying to "control" my anger -- not getting carried away or being reactive to things that would drive others crazy. Probably should have been driving *me* crazy, too, and then I wouldn't be working my way out of pain right now.
But that having been said, I was listening to the the MP3 download on healing TMS injury from www.runningpain.com, and Monte goes into the difference between "experiencing" ones anger (which one must do in order not to repress it) and having an "anger outburst", which is not the same at all. It took me about three times through the tape to "get it", as well as reading a couple of articles, but now I'm thinking he's spot on.
You might find his suggestions on the matter helpful, if you can stay mindful enough to put them into use, which I think is the major challenge. Starting with small irritants would probably be the way to go.
Chris |
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electraglideman
USA
162 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2006 : 09:43:45
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Moose,
I can relate to your post.
I was just wondering. When you were growing up did your parents chastise you for show emotions?
I would be punished if I showed any anger at all no matter what the situation. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2006 : 13:42:25
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quote:
Originally posted by moose1
Is there a way to put the brakes on this thing?
Moose- I wonder if you might really benefit from some of John Bradshaw's stuff. He talks about all the symptoms of delayed grief which is what you are talking about in your post and he has made a life out of helping people get in touch with there emotions and feel them. Catastrophizing is one of the big ones on his list. |
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Lmvine
27 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2006 : 07:20:27
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| I have similar problems and suggest the power of now book/CD by Eckhart Tolle. It has helped me from being too much in the future and enjiying the now. Dan |
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anxo69
USA
36 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2006 : 15:54:09
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o ya I can relate.. I do it all the time, I feel its justified when Im doing it , but after Im done all I can see Is I feel like crap again! Im reliving everything I say when Im arguing. then The next day Im in pain and in bed. I thought getting stuff out is suppose to help? My girlfriend just sits there and stairs at me with no response. I say things like, we have nothing , I dont love you , This is making me sick. I want out..... and nothing is said back. Like Im a freak that just vents.. Then after I say ..I dont know...
ans back to same ole same ole.. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 03/19/2006 : 21:16:26
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Hi Moose,
Thanks for your wonderful post. I've been stuck in just this same scenario for the last couple weeks and I can relate to this situation word for word. Luckily I'm able to stay pain free despite my catastrophizing since I have become Sarno aware. I just need to stop blowing things out of proportion and be more proactive in making my relationships better.
Take care, -Stryder
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winstir
Canada
8 Posts |
Posted - 03/20/2006 : 07:29:37
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quote:
Originally posted by moose1
�Why can�t I just be calm, level-headed and reasonable like _______ always is?� is a common thought for me at these times.
A couple of things have helped me a lot in being able to respond rather than react to situations that trigger me.
1) Meditation -- this has been absolutely critical for me in slowing down, being aware in the moment, being able to watch and observe and take things in, which allow me to respond, rather than to react. I'm not perfect by a long shot, and I still have occasions when I'm not happy with my reactions. But overall, in perspective, there's been tremendous progress from where I was pre-meditation.
2) My belief that in any given situation that triggers anger, pain, etc, only about 10 or 20% has to do with the present-day event and the rest has to do with historical pain and anger. If I'm experiencing that level of intensity, I try and stop and ask, "What does this remind me of? What dots are connected here to the past?" And then give myself time to trace that back, and go, "Yeah, of course you're enraged by that. It reminds you of when....." And then I can redirect it from the present. Again, I'm not perfect but definitely a good work in progress.
best,
d. |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 03/20/2006 : 07:57:00
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Moose,
You write: “Why can’t I just be calm, level-headed and reasonable like _______ always is?”
The answer is because you are not calm, level-headed and resonable. Smile, because that is the reality for you! When you (and me also) stop fighting or resisting reality then you can just accept that is who you are. Ask yourself a simple question. Who would you be without the thought: “Why can’t I just be calm, level-headed and reasonable like _______ always is?”
Think about your answer deeply, and also think about how you re-act when you think the thought “Why can’t I just be calm, level-headed and reasonable like _______ always is?”
Then, when you feel you have honeslty within yourself answered these questions, ask yourself is their even one peacful reason to hold onto the thought “Why can’t I just be calm, level-headed and reasonable like _______ always is?”
I look forward to hearing from you......
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moose1
162 Posts |
Posted - 03/20/2006 : 20:05:04
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All,
Thanks for all the wonderful replies. I apologize for not getting back sooner but I've been without web access since just about time I posted that message.
It's always comforting to hear other people say they've had similar experiences. Like winstir, meditation has helped me a lot. Anger is such an insidious thing, and it's alarming when you feel like you have no control over it. Bottling it up is clearly a bad idea. I still think recognizing that it's there, that it has a certain power and that it's normal for most people is the best way to deal with it.
Thanks again to everyone.
Moose |
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Thoughts on anger & catastrophizing
