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n/a
560 Posts |
 Posted - 03/02/2006 : 16:27:57
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Ok, many of you have read my posts and know that I am hardcore Sarno. That does not mean that I have been 100% successful in bringing about a recovery, but what other options do I have? To me, after readings tons of literature, Dr. Sarno's work makes the most logical sense.
Now here is my problem. My wife is going to another city next weekend to give a lecture. She will go by Greyhound and she wants me to come with her. The drive is 2.5 hours one way.
The problem is I am scared to go because, as illogical as it may seem, I am afraid that the anxiety will generate a lot of pain in my body and I will feel trapped on the bus with nowhere to escape.
Should I make this trip regardless, and thus challenge the pain, or should I take more baby steps?
It is hard for me to make a decision.... |
Edited by - n/a on 03/10/2006 20:40:20 |
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yowire
USA
70 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2006 : 16:40:58
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Hi Peter,
I think you should go. |
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Jena
USA
195 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2006 : 17:16:01
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peter,
a few months ago i drove 2 hours to my other house in pennsylvania. ALONE. no one to complain about my pain about i was trapped driving by myself. i was in excrutiating pain in my buttocks and down my legs... man i remember that. After seeing Sarno last week i did the same exact drive back and forth 2 hours. NO PAIN! no pain at all! and i didnt want to go because i was scared that it was going to come back! and it hasnt! now does that make sense? if it was PHYSICAL then i would feel that pain every time correct? no pain at all... makes u think huh? |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2006 : 18:15:38
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The fear is not illogical. It is TMS.
This scenario shows that you really have not been successful at ignoring the symptoms and not allowing them to affect your activities. As difficult as it may seem, that is an absolutely essential step to recovery.
You need to condition yourself not to fear the symptoms. Learn to "talk yourself out of the pain" by re-focusing your mind on psychological issues. Learn to "get mad at your brain" and not allow it to distract you with pain.
If you decide to go, don't dwell on the potential for anxiety and pain. Think of it as a normal activity that you have decided to enjoy. Don't dread it, live it. |
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Hillbilly
USA
385 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2006 : 19:03:23
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Peter, I really think you should go. It is a perfect chance to test your gains and perhaps break down a barrier. I suffer the anxiety as well. Last week I worked myself into a frenzy over a big public luncheon that involved 300 people. I had to glad-hand a bunch of smarmy folks and make small-talk. The kind of stuff I hate because it's so fake, but in my line of work I've gotta do it.
I talked with Ken in Dr. Sarno's office about this. He is an alumnus who talks to small groups. He, by the way, disagrees wth Dr. Sarno about "fighting" TMS. and is trying to get Dr. Sarno to include some alternative cognitive perspectives in his upcoming advanced program. He says the best approach is to relax and accept the pain and watch it come and go like watching a wave come in and go back out. Just acknowledge its presence and realize that it is part of you, your own creation, much like anxiety symptoms like heart palps, dizziness, sweating, shaking hands, weak legs and so on. This advice is identical to Dr. Weekes' teachings on anxiety recovery. And TMS is a definite equivalent of anxiety. So if A=B and B=C, then A=C, and we can recover from TMS using the same methods as anxiety recovery. Absolutely, Ken says. Call him, he'll talk your ears off, and he's very funny as well.
So, at the event I was stuck sitting in a chair for three hours with very little back to it at all. (My pain is upper back and neck) Then during the luncheion I had to go up to the front of the banquet center and stand there still for 5 minutes. The pain was coming on strong and so was the pounding heart and panic symptoms. Of course they did because I was dreading them a week before the event!
I just tried my best to focus on what was going on, sort of a midfulness exercise, and not make too much of the symptoms. I knew they weren't going to kill me, just hurt a bit for while until I could relax and stretch out. After it was over I was exhausted, but really felt OK otherwise. The exhaustion was nothing more than me tensing against this thing instead of just relaxing toward it, acknowledging it without freaking out, all the standard advice. Although this was a big thing to me, no one knew I was uncomfortable. No one noticed my shaking hands. Many of my co-workers know I get nuts over such stuff, but really I was fine. I have to say, take the opportunity to stand up to it. It's kind of like passing through fear once you come out on the other side. The pain has been less since, and I really believe it was because I faced the fear. Best of luck. I enjoy your posts very much.
Neil |
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chicago
85 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2006 : 20:11:41
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Hi Peter,
I don't know if this will help, but last summer I went to a White Sox game(World Champs!) with some friends and I was freaked out that I would have pain. I was ok walking to the park but once I sat down I had so much pain I felt like leaving and never going to a game ever again. I felt trapped being in such a large crowd and very down on myself because prior to having pain I never had difficulty going to any kind of sporting event. Well after I calmed down I decided to engage in a conversation with one of my friends and I soon forgot the pain and had a great time. Distraction can be a great thing. Even though you can't get off the bus maybe you can preplan some distractions. |
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redskater
USA
81 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2006 : 08:36:24
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go, go go!!!!! It's the only way to conquer the fear. You will be fine!
Gaye |
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FlyByNight
Canada
209 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2006 : 09:33:16
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I had exactly the same problem when I decided to go to Japan (20 hours flight) 3 weeks ago. It was a very painful trip but now I tell you . I feel empowered just because I did it.. I know that nothing can stop me from recovering.
cheers
P. |
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wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2006 : 22:26:43
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| Peter--I think you yourself know that you should go. To not go means reinforcing the fear. The only way out is through. Go. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 03/06/2006 : 21:07:04
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| Just Say Go. -Stryder |
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electraglideman
USA
162 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 07:42:47
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Peter,
If you don't go, you know what's going to happen. You will set around and regret the fact that you've allowed the anxiety gremlins to rule your life.
Go and enjoy being on a trip with your wife. This is a great "opportunity" to reduce that fear factor. |
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gevorgyan
115 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 03:44:25
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Peter,
I am little bid suprised by your question, because I am sure that when it is asked by someone else, you would be the first to write
somethinmg like "f### the pain! and go, look what is written at the page...."
Peter, there is no single week in 2006 that I shouldn't to go somewhere, avarage travel distance is 200 km. I am scared, but If I deny going, gremlin will win.
Ussually during trips I am so angaged in what is happen that I can forget about pain.
good luck!
Monika |
Edited by - gevorgyan on 03/08/2006 06:23:21 |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 07:14:14
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Peter,
I too, was convinced driving (not riding) hurt me. Then I engaged in a hobby that involved driving long distances. I still remember the day my neck starting hurting, bringing with it the fear of long term recovery and tightness and ultimate disability. I believe it was the first or second such driving trip
I responded to the pain with "I knew you were coming . . . don't care that you're here . . . made this decision to drive more to accomplish my life goals . . . you're presence doesn't matter to me."
I only remember the one incident, so maybe my TMS never tried again. I never looked back. I know you have the strength to do this, too. Just let go of the CONCERN involved, and don't fear the pain.
Nothing's wrong with getting up and stretching in the aisle ONCE during the trip, that's normal. I would decide I was going to enjoy the scenery and be like a kid. I would decide I was going to atch the world go by and forget my troubles.
Best wishes, Peter
Beth |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 19:45:12
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quote:
Originally posted by gevorgyan
Peter,
I am little bid suprised by your question, because I am sure that when it is asked by someone else, you would be the first to write
somethinmg like "f### the pain! and go, look what is written at the page...."
I have never made such a statement on this board. This is completely unfair..... |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 19:46:21
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quote:
Originally posted by electraglideman
Peter,
If you don't go, you know what's going to happen. You will set around and regret the fact that you've allowed the anxiety gremlins to rule your life.
This is so true, and a very keen observation..... |
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atg
USA
50 Posts |
Posted - 03/09/2006 : 00:16:23
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave
The fear is not illogical. It is TMS.
This scenario shows that you really have not been successful at ignoring the symptoms and not allowing them to affect your activities.
Dave, I disagree with you. You can call the fear "tms", but in reality it is simply pavlovian. Take any mammal on earth and give it massive pain along with any repeated activity, and it will develop fear of the activity. This is evolutionary. This is not only the way that a tms personality would respond, but the way anyone would respond.
I'd guess that no tms person has ever TRULY stopped fearing an activity 100% until they saw progress, and the pain began decreasing. Ignoring the symptoms is different than abandoning fear. I don't think I've seen a more dedicated devotee of tms than peter, but he's not superhuman, and he cannot overcome his inborn machinery.
I hope this does not sound combative, and I know that you have been posting for far longer than I have; but I don't see how telling someone that they have not really been successful can be helpful.
Alan |
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gevorgyan
115 Posts |
Posted - 03/09/2006 : 03:55:11
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Peter,
I didn't intent to hurt anyone here. I only wanted to show the meaning
of your messages, and I want also to admit that I am grateful for your attitude on this board.
But if you really are Sarno believer you must treat the symptoms like they are and they are indeed ridiculous.
If we fight with the thing which is not serious, we mustn’t be serious too.
We must even get fun of coping this or we will lose.
M
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 03/09/2006 : 08:31:10
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quote:
Originally posted by atg
Dave, I disagree with you. You can call the fear "tms", but in reality it is simply pavlovian.
Exactly! This is one thing that many fail to embrace. Much of the symptoms, and fear of those symptoms, boils down to simple conditioning.
When I say "you have not been successful" it is certainly not meant in a negative light. I have a tendency to be blunt and many people misinterpret my intentions.
I meant to point out that Peter needs to confront his fear instead of giving in to it. He needs to say "to hell with you, TMS, I'm going on this trip whether you like it or not!" Sometimes you just have to force yourself to do those activities that you associate with pain. It's the only way to overcome the conditioning. |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 03/09/2006 : 09:22:14
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Well, I got one more day. The anxiety is reeking havoc on me both mentally and physically. I even went down to the bus station yesterday and sat there trying to make sense of my feelings. I think I will do the same thing today.......
Most certainly, much of all of your comments have been both helpful and insightful of which I am most appreciative. |
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 03/09/2006 : 11:13:17
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Peter,
I know I have made a personal turning point in my battle against TMS - so I will try and respond to your question, using my recent aquired knowledge of this TMS demon. What I discovered is that the whole condition lies in the fear. My turning point came when i stopped fighting and just accepted it - started not to care if the pain came on or not. As soon as the pain started, I paused from what I was doing, had a little chuckle at the TMS gremlin and then switched my thoughts to "what is bothering me in my life now - I always found something - work or relationship related" I genuinely didn't care any more. After all, I believed Sarno totally as I know there is nothing wrong with me. So - really the pain was quite funny! I just let it go and totally ignored it. My real fear left was running - I recently conquered that by the same approach. Who cares!!! I said to the pain as it started. It just gave up - like a naughty child.
Someone I met at the Sarno panel a year ago described it very well. He said that when the pain came on - he treated it like an annoying guest at a cocktail party - "oh no - not you again" -he would laugh to himself and go about his business.
So - go on the trip - what do you care. The whole pain syndrome is fabricated by the naughty brain. I sometimes talk to the brain when I have a twinge of pain and say "come on then - is that all you've got - you can do better than that - pathetic!!"
Mocking the gremlin really really works. Peter - none of it is real - don't give it any power. |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 03/10/2006 : 20:41:06
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| ok, I took the trip. It was not easy, but I did it. I am glad I took it, but indeed it was very painful and I did not sleep well last night when I got home..... |
Edited by - n/a on 03/11/2006 07:11:39 |
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Advice sought - ok, I took the trip!!!!!!!!!!
