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Suz
559 Posts |
 Posted - 08/17/2004 : 08:29:47
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Hey everyone,
My back is in absolute AGONY! I have had no pain now for about 3 months - just a few aches and pains but not the awful sciatic pain.
Yesterday I had a very emotional experience. My ex sister-in-laws who I was very close to and have not seen since my divorce almost four years ago, called me out of the blue. They came down to see me at work with four of my neices. I was extremely close to my exhusband's family and know that losing them caused tremendous emotional pain for me. It was very hard seeing my goddaughter and the newest addition who apparently has been named after me. They said that they just wanted to see me and tell me they miss me and love me. My ex husband has already remarried and has a child so I have stayed out of the picture in respect of the new wife. After seeing them, I went straight back to work, tremendously sad. Luckily I only had an hour left. I went home and wept for a long time. By the end of the evening, I started to feel some pain in my lower back.
This morning I woke up almost unable to walk. The pain is in an unfamiliar place for me - right in the middle lower back. My TMS pain was always in the sciatic. I had forgotten how painful this can be. I know this must be TMS as it is too much of a coincidence to be anything else. I am trying to igorne it and focus on the emotional pain. I have brought my book to work and am going to read it at lunch time.
I cannot believe that after 3 months of no pain I am suddenly in agony. I just needed to post this as I am a little in shock and would love some support.
thanks so much
Suz
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Irish Jimmy
USA
52 Posts |
Posted - 08/17/2004 : 08:43:39
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| Suz, hang in there. Sounds like a TMS shift, and you already know the reason for it. Journaling it out would be my suggestion. Write exactly how the experience of seeing those people made you feel and why. Be specific and think how it effects your TMS personality. Then take a positive from it. Those folks thought enough of you to come down and say hello. Take care and let us know how you made out. |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 08/17/2004 : 09:13:56
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Perhaps you do not realize the extent that this event has affected you deep down. Try coming at it from different angles. Maybe you still feel guilt over the breakup. Maybe you feel regret. Maybe you feel jealous of your husband's new life. Maybe you feel rage towards your husband for wrecking the marriage. Clearly this experience must be awakening so many dormant emotions within you, far beyond the obvious ones that you've already wept about.
Just keep telling yourself that you know the pain is there as a distraction, and focus on those feelings. Rest assured that it will pass. |
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 08/17/2004 : 09:15:20
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Thank you Jimmy. It was so nice to receive that support. I will write it out this evening. I am also in the process of an annulment which involves writing a biography of my dating history and marriage. It has been quite painful work for me and may have contributed to the sudden onslaught of TMS.
Question: any of you that have been doing this for a long time - has your pain totally gone away with no flare ups any more? I am wondering if this continues on forever.
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 08/17/2004 : 09:22:59
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Dave,
Wow - I think you are right. The obvious pain is that I am sad, love them and miss them terribly. The less obvious is definitely - guilt that I left the marriage, jealousy that he is already remarried with a child, fear about my own future etc. etc. I am sure there is more in there to look at.
I will make myself study it and try not to focus on the pain. I also think some conditioning might be involved. I have just got over terrible side affects of the steroids that the doctors put me on for my back pain. I was on them for two months and unfortunately, my body broke down - my adrenal glands stopped working which was quite frightening. The doctors realized that I should not have taken such a strong steroid for so long. I had loads of blood tests done,and have been worried about the state of my kidneys. ( I think unecessarily) so when I felt the back pain, I thought initially it was a problem with a kidney stone - all of these can be side affects from the steroids. I think my mind grabbed on to this and so by the morning I was in agony. |
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luke
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - 08/17/2004 : 10:05:14
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Quote:
Question: any of you that have been doing this for a long time - has your pain totally gone away with no flare ups any more? I am wondering if this continues on forever.
Suz,
I have dealt with this for about 12 years now and to give you a quick answer to your question, it does appear on occaision every now and then however I know now that it is harmless and this goes a LONG
LONG way. I just crack the books and apply the principles. I would say
that I'm 90% cured at this time. It hasn't left totally and completely
but I'm pretty well satisfied with that 90%.
Take care and hang in there.............Bill |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 08/17/2004 : 11:00:10
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| Suz-I had a similar experience yesterday. I have been pretty pain free for several months. Several days ago my sister, who I love very much, applied some pressure to get me to visit. I am originally from her home town and evidently have some bad memories there ie. dead parents etc. I think the worst part is the realization that nothing back home is actually how I remember it and I am forced to face it everytime I return. I awoke with really bad backpain. This is the second time it happen in relation to the same family request. I decided not to put myself through it and it's lunchtime and the pain is totally gone. I have tried to discover what is actually bothering me about going home and it's a work in progress. The reoccuring emotional pain can definately trigger the physical pain. Hang in there Suz. You have so much going on emotionally it would be easy to "get off track". I think as long as you are aware that it's tms, you will definately recover from the pain. |
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Help - terrible back spasm
