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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
 Posted - 02/03/2006 : 18:02:53
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Happy Friday TMSBoard,
I have become truly cognizant of how much time I was really spending ruminating about symptoms, and it was a lot. I was complaining of symptoms not resolving, yet I wasn't engaging in the TMS work. I have since begun focusing all my attention otherwise, be it on the particular emotion I (think) I'm feeling at the time, or just simply saying "STOP IT SETH" and turning my attention to something else. And guess what? I haven't felt many of my genitourinary symptoms--that is, until I begin to focus on them, like right now as I'm typing, then I fell them.
But I have two concerns I would appreciate your input on:
1. I've always been afraid of crying. Most likey, this is because I feel that if I cry, be it by myself or in the company of others, I'm admitting defeat somehow, showing vulnerability. And I do feel as though I have a "block" of emotions so to speak, they sort of feel stuck. My fear is that in order to recover from TMS I'm going to have to confront this fear of crying and open the flood gates so to speak. That is, I will have to bawl my eyes out and then everything will be better. But TMS doesn't work like this, right? Nor can I force this to happen, correct?
2. I've made mention that I'm finally going out and meeting other gay guys, going on dates, making friends, something I was terribly afriad to do in the past. I've also noted that due to 7 years of pain, symptoms, anxiety and the like, that my sex drive is pretty shot. I know that it is in this state because of all the stress and tension and pain and symptoms, but I'm just afraid it's going to get in the way of ever developing a relationship. That I'll have to wait for everything to go away before I can proceed romantically; but is this line of thinking TMS as well?
Just to let you know, I am seeing one of Sarno's therapists.
Enjoy the weekend!
Best,
Seth |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 02/04/2006 : 06:08:02
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Seth, that's great. I'm really pleased for you.
1. Boys in our culture are told from an early age that they shouldn't cry and that they should be strong, so it's hard for men to break out of that conditioning. I think crying is a good way of letting out emotions, and I think letting out emotions can only be a good thing for TMS. Have you asked your therapist?
2. I don't think your lack of sex drive should get in the way of a relationship (maybe I'm being idealistic). Perhaps you should explain about it early on in any relationship to avoid misplaced expectations.
Hilary N |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 02/04/2006 : 16:47:57
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Hilary,
Thanks for your advice, although I'm a bit leary about explaining to a potential lover my situation; I hope it doesn't have to come to that...
Seth |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 02/05/2006 : 08:27:46
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quote:
Originally posted by Seth
...but I'm just afraid it's going to get in the way of ever developing a relationship. That I'll have to wait for everything to go away before I can proceed romantically; but is this line of thinking TMS as well?
Now you're getting it 
Note your use of the word afraid. Fear is a big part of TMS. Fear of the symptoms being brought on by some activity, fear that you won't be able to succeed, etc.
Focus on your life, ignore the symptoms as best you can. Try to banish the fear. Take a long-term view and you will be fine. |
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Resolve is strong(er), will is (becoming) iron
