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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
 Posted - 01/01/2006 : 12:58:01
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When I saw Sarno a few months ago I mentioned the two distressing symptoms which started this summer: pain/burning/irritation in my chest (left side) and urethra. Sarno said both were TMS.
Last week the urethra pain flared and I gave in and saw a urologist, who said everything was normal and fine.
I felt a deep sense of shame after this, for not listening to Sarno in the first place. My therapist said not to, that I have been dealing with these symptoms for years and that the process is going to take time.
I mentioned that I met a guy a few weeks ago. Although he's on vacation from grad school right now, we've been talking and texting each other frequently. The whole thing feels really good, although there is a tremendous amount of fear since this is my first relationship.
In any event, today my chest pain is more prominent and I need some help and support. It is safe to say that if Sarno deems a particular symptom TMS, then I can very well forget about it, right? I have this nagging fear that perhaps I didn't describe it to him properly and that there is something wrong with my heart or a cancer.
Why won't I believe him! It's so frusturating! Relationship aside, my sister is home this weekend and she is currently struggling with an eating disorder, so I'm certain some combination of the two is what is causing this flare up.
Part of me wants to see a cardiologist so badly, but this will merely perpetuate the damned cycle. And look what happened when I gave in a saw the urologist, it was nothing!
HELP!
Seth |
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jilly_girl
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2006 : 13:46:07
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seth have any tests been performed on you for the chest pain? i too have had chest pain and several trips to the ER with it. an overnight stay in the cardiac unit and a nuclear stress test showed my heart to be healthy. but...i have to add, you cant just dismiss chest pain. if you have not been checked by your doctor i would do it for your own peace of mind.
Jill |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2006 : 14:42:17
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| Chest pain is a TMS manifestation, but it is wise to get it checked out. Remember, symptoms will move around for people with TMS. |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2006 : 17:10:33
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Well, I did have a physical shortly before seeing Sarno and everything came back normal. But I was under the assumption that if Sarno deemed something as TMS, then it wasn't necessary to get it checked out.
You see, after our consultation together he said there was no need.
But during his lecture he did make mention of how it is wise to get new symptoms checked out. I approached him afterwards and asked him why he felt I need not see a cardiologist; he replied that he felt it wasn't necessary in my particular case.
I already saw a urologist, and I just don't want to spend my time--as in the past--running around seeing doctors.
Ahhhh!
Seth |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 01/02/2006 : 09:34:31
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You are letting the fear control you.
The obsession about whether or not your chest pain is something serious is a TMS equivalent.
Of course it will continue if the fear controls you.
It is difficult but you must do the work. Otherwise you will not get better.
It means that when you are aware of the chest pain, to take a deep breath and remind yourself it is TMS and think about the psychological issues that may be plaguing you.
You are a healthy man in your 20's. Remind yourself of that when you are aware of the chest pain. It is one of the most common anxiety symptoms, and that is what you appear to have. |
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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
Posted - 01/02/2006 : 10:01:29
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Absolutely. The anxiety over your health is TMS equivalent. It's yet another way for your brain to distract you from your emotions.
You must ignore it and turn your mind on to things that are potentially emotionally distressing for you right now. You may want to explore the area of entering a new relationship and the fear that engenders. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2006 : 17:41:17
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My deepest thanks for your thoughtful and helpful responses. Even though I am not a regular contributor to this board, anytime a pressing matter erupts I can always turn to you, and for that I am truly appreciative.
So like I mentioned, I went to that urologist, diagnosed with prostatitis, and given two weeks of antibiotics. Even though they may or may not work, I am going to take them anyway, but at least I'm certain now that nothing is seriously wrong with me.
I also have one final appointment with a cardiologist next Wednesday. My fear is that new symptoms will continue to develop, I won't know if it's TMS for sure, and this cycle will continue. I'm 24 in less than two weeks and I don't want my life to continue like this! Nearly 7 years is enough!
I am absolutely astonished at the power of the mind. How these sexual symptoms flared just when I began seeing this particular gentleman. My biggest fear is that they are going to get in the way of intimacy. We went out last night and I must admit, it was so difficult to ignore these distressing symptoms, especially when they get in the way of arousal! I get so worked up over when I'm not turned on when I think I should be and I start blaming my symptoms!
Switching gears briefly, I have always been unnecessarily hard on myself, a classic TMS trait shared by a majority of board members I'm sure. And I notice a cycle developing: whereby I tell myself, "Seth, from today onward you are going to ignore the entire constellation of symptoms, for it is nothing more than TMS." But then I slowly feel the fears taking over, and inevitably I end up focusing heavily on one symptom or another. Then I get guilty at myself for breaking my oath. I feel angry and defeated. Has anyone experienced anything similar?
Seth |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2006 : 12:05:29
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Seth- I'm a bit late on this thread but just wanted to let you know that I personally know someone who also had the chest pain and fear of heart problems and that he also went throught the doctors route. Now he is much better and knows that it it just repressed emotions causing the symptoms. Unlike you he is in his fifties not twenties.
Dave is right. The symptoms are persisting because you are giving in to them and thinking that something is wrong. Just ignore them and carry on with your life and continue with the therapy.
It's interesting that your sister is also having problems! This should reenforce your belief that the cause is psychological and not physical. |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2006 : 13:12:49
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Seth,
I have to tell you something, as I suffered for seven years with symptoms. After seven years, it was just habit to see myself as someone who had health issues. I mean, if I had a pain, it must be something, right? I too, had several TMS "chasers" after I initially recovered from chronic debilitating wrist and hand pain.
Something that helped me was a particular section of Fred Amir's book "Rapid Recovery from Back and Neck Pain". In one section, he says to find a symbol of strength, and spend time visualizing that symbol with respect to yourself.
I happened to be at lunch when I read this passage, and the TV in the restaurant was tuned to a sports show with these big strong men using ropes to pull busses and planes and stuff. Well, that's just what I needed. Everytime I felt a little pain (anywhere) I would imaging myself that guy. I would feel myself pulling that bus, feel the strength coursing through my arms and my whole body.
TMS is still something that you must attack with your mind and look to release your repressed rage etc. But initially, this visualization helped me to see myself as what I truly am, a strong, healthy person who does more physically than most people do.
Don't give up, and be willing to ease up on your current perception of yourself as someone who isn't young and strong. I urge you to go out and prove to yourself how strong you are.
Best wishes,
Beth |
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Jim D.
USA
63 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2006 : 13:48:19
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quote:
Originally posted by Seth
I also have one final appointment with a cardiologist next Wednesday.
Seth,
Is this the appointment you thought about making back on Jan. 1, when you said: "Part of me wants to see a cardiologist so badly, but this will merely perpetuate the damned cycle. And look what happened when I gave in a saw the urologist, it was nothing!" ?
If so, it seems you gave in to this urge--against your better judgment. I don't want to be harsh, but you seem to be giving in to every symptom that comes along. You have TMS! You should expect that these symptoms are going to show up and, as everyone else has advised, turn your mind to what is really bothering you. For a gay man to be having his first attempt at a relationship is certainly cause for much stress and many symptoms. Your urological issues are almost comical in their too-obvious relation to this new man in your life--sometimes I think the TMS person's brain thinks we are really stupid to fall for its connections. If I may be so bold as to give advice to a stranger, you seem too conscious of your symptoms; I would suggest trying harder to ignore them. Make another date with this guy. Go out to a movie and dinner. Go lift weights or go for a run. Do things to get outside yourself. As a gay man myself, I can certainly sympathize with your fears and doubts.
Best wishes. |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/15/2006 : 15:27:19
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I appologize for not responding sooner, things have been a bit hectic as of late.
I agree, that "getting outside of yourself" is a key component of recovery for many individuals. It certainly couldn't be more on point in my particular case.
Since joining some online dating/networking sites, I have been on another date (hooray!) and am slowly but surely meeting other gay men. For me, it's not so much about finding and rushing into a relationship--although this is important--as it is having other gay friends.
In any event, I'm sleepy and not very inclined to write right now, but I'll be in touch late this week, because I have some nagging questions that I think you can help me with.
Thanks again for all your help and support!
Seth |
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Trusting Sarno
