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jilly_girl
USA
108 Posts |
 Posted - 11/19/2005 : 15:10:16
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well...i really really lost it last night and again today. i screamed and cussed and threw things and yelled at my husband, who is very emotionally detached. (i was very upset as my mother is dying). my symptoms seem a bit better yesterday and today. i mean i really lost it. i have seldom in my life said things like i said to him. i was vicious (with words!) i said everything i ever wanted to say to him about his emotionally abusive personality. so i know the source of the rage, what do i do with it?? this obviously isnt the right way to express it as i upset my teen child. i am filled with rage today......
Jill |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2005 : 18:28:02
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quote:
so i know the source of the rage, what do i do with it?? this obviously isnt the right way to express it as i upset my teen child. i am filled with rage today......
Jill
I upset a LOT of people as I recovered....the important thing is that you have identified ONE of your sources of rage.You don't necessarily(though you might) have to always yell and curse,but you need to be aware that this is what is causing the symptoms,or rather that your inability to express these emotions on a regular basis is the problem.
Now...find out which things you aren't upset about that cause repressed rage....like having to set a good example for your teen..it's in THOSE deep dark crevices that the TMS exists to block you from...whether you want it to or not.
Baseball65 |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2005 : 18:54:05
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I'm so sorry about about your mother. That itself is a huge cause of stress. Unfortunately, that kind of stress is something most of us will have to face as our parents grow old and sarno has listed it as a reason for tms. the intensity if course depends on many factors such as our relationship with them, the severity of their symptoms and our own ability to cope.
The other of course is your husband's 'emotionally abusive personality' and linked to that of course is your worry for your teenage child.
The good thing is that you have identified the sources. Now you have to do the work. For that, you can use this forum as a sounding board but only you can really do the work.
You say your child is a teenager. Do you think it would be a good idea to have a talk with her or him about how you are feeling and why you are so angry.? Kids need to know what is going on or else it worries them may even blame themselves for what's going on.
Good Luck & Good Health
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jilly_girl
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 11/20/2005 : 14:30:19
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thanks for the replys!
mala, good advice and i did. i briefly explained to him my sadness and anger at this grandma's illness and i apologized to him.
baseball, sorry, i do not agree i have repressed rage at having to set a good example for my teen. i WANT to do that. no doubt i do have some anger deep down on some issues but i dont think that is one of them. thanks !
Jill |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 11/21/2005 : 06:59:15
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quote:
Originally posted by jilly_girl
baseball, sorry, i do not agree i have repressed rage at having to set a good example for my teen.
]
How would one know they had repressed rage on a particular issue or not. That is why it is called "repressed" which means we are not aware of it. I don't like to dismiss that I have repressed rage on anything because that which I am most vigorously denying might be just the culprit that is causing my suffering. I would invite you to really examine you feelings towards the idea introduced by baseball. Even if he is wrong you are a least thinking about this and not your pain, and is that not the prescription Dr. Sarno gave us? |
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jilly_girl
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 11/21/2005 : 07:26:15
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hi peter. you said:
How would one know they had repressed rage on a particular issue or not.
well isnt the issue at some point to become aware of your repressed rage? if you cant know then how would you know lol??
I dont believe i have repressed rage at wanting to set good examples for my kids. It possible to carry the "repressed rage" thing to a point of absurdity. I'm not fussing at you, i appreciate the input and it helps to discuss any and all of these ideas. But that is just taking it too far, in my humble opinion. There are certain behaviors that simply are not right. Throwing and breaking things in front of your kids is one of them. Thanks!
Jill |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 11/21/2005 : 07:57:30
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quote:
Originally posted by jilly_girl
hi peter. you said:
well isnt the issue at some point to become aware of your repressed rage? if you cant know then how would you know lol??
In fact, we may never know the source of our represed rage, only to come to the realization that it is resident within us and it is the utlimate source of our suffering. Many people have reported full recovery from TMS but cannot actually indentify the source of their rage, although they may take a guess. What brought about their recovery was thinking, or even speculating, of what may be going on in the inside instead of obssessing about this or that pain in their bodies. I still cannot understand why this works other than noting that if the pain is serving a function of keeping us from not thinking about our repressed emotions, then if we do in fact think about those emotions in spite of the pain then the pain no longer in serving its function. The particular emotion is not important in my humble opinion, the important part is merely to think about what may be going on inside.
In addition, I would venture to say that it is not our angry re-actions that need to be examined, but why we react the way we do. What is inside of us or motivates us to behave or feel a certain way? This is much much more difficult, but it is essential to think about in order to bring about our recovery. |
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jilly_girl
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 11/21/2005 : 08:50:02
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peter, do you think its focusing on the repressed rage or focusing on ANYTHING but our aches and pains that helps? I feel like at this point i am aware of whats going on inside. I dont like the circumstances i'm living in but cant change it much at the present time. Although i find this hard to do, I am planning on setting aside one hour a day to spend in what some would call "comtemplative prayer". Where you dont talk to God, but you listen to Him. I focus on the Source of life, and not myself or my pain. Thanks again for responding to my posts, i find all this fascinating!
Jill |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 11/21/2005 : 09:59:10
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One must always note that the purpose of the pain is to keep you distracted from repressed emotions. Therefore, one must think psycologically at all times and try not to concentrate on the physical symptoms. I know that is easier said than done.
Ok, so you say that you dont like the circumstances you are currently living in but that you but can't change that much at the present time. This means there are things in your life that are beyond your control, and this will always be the case, so you might as well accept it for your own sake. Perhaps you always want to be in control of things and when you are not that makes you angry and filled with anxiety. Perhaps you want to be secure and taken care of. Just notice that about yourself. Keep telling yourself over and over that the pain is due to inner tension and - both emtionally and intellectually - try to see the link between your anger / frustrations and your physical symptoms. You do not need to change yourself or your behavior in order to recover, but only to recognize the role your inner emotions are playing on your physical well being.
Tell yourself over and over "There is nothing physically wrong with me, and the purpose of the pain is to keep me distracted from my repressed emotions." Make it your mantra.
Best wishes....
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i lost it
