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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
 Posted - 07/17/2004 : 10:22:25
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Dear Mala,
Thanks for your bio. info. I must say I had formed a different picture of you from your posts. I had you pictured as a dowdy, wall flower type. Instead you are attractive, dynamic and jet-setting. Much different than the Rohrasach of your posts. I see that you have posted asking about anxiety meds. I have experimented with mild quarter doses of anti-depressants after reading about their salutory effects regarding backpain. I have posted about them on the old board so I won't reinterate here.
I must say I am getting somewhat frustrated with you not responding to my posts and others. I made several suggestions and out of curiosity alone wonder if they were of any help. I suggested re-reading some sections of Sarno. I am curious if you did so or not. If you did was it of any help?
I and others spent time thinking about your issues and composing toughtful repies. I find not getting any feedback is fueling my TMS rage. I think most of us here are trying to help each other and hone our ability to do the TMS work and fill in our gaps in understanding Sarno's theory. It would be helpful to get feedback to learn what works and what doesn't.
If my suggestions to you are not helping, too personal or offensive please let me know and I will stop replying to your posts and use my energy elsewhere. I have no problem with a direct answer from you and my feelings will not be hurt. I think TMS work is dealing with life's issues head on, getting resolution yea or nea, and moving on. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 18:32:20
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Dear tt,
I'm so sorry that you feel I'm not replying to your posts. I admit that I haven't replied directly to you the last few times but do let me explain.
"I must say I am getting somewhat frustrated with you not responding to my posts and others. I made several suggestions and out of curiosity alone wonder if they were of any help. I suggested re-reading some sections of Sarno. I am curious if you did so or not. If you did was it of any help"
You suggested that I read a few pages from MBP. Well, the truth is that I have given my copy to someone else. I actually called her up and asked if she could return it and she is going to tomorrow so I was waiting to read the pages before I replied.
"If my suggestions to you are not helping, too personal or offensive please let me know and I will stop replying to your posts and use my energy elsewhere"
Actually tom, if you read my posts carefully, you will see that I have referred to what you have written many times and also answered many of your queries. There is no reason I should find your posts offensive, in fact I like the way you come across as being warm and caring in your writing and I really look forward to reading your messages. When you suggested that I was being too reserved, I immediately sent you more info about myself.(Re: On the right track)
I and others spent time thinking about your issues and composing toughtful repies. I find not getting any feedback is fueling my TMS rage. I think most of us here are trying to help each other and hone our ability to do the TMS work and fill in our gaps in understanding Sarno's theory. It would be helpful to get feedback to learn what works and what doesn't
I am also trying to help others through this message board. I have posted around 30 messages and more than half are(thoughtful) replies to other people's queries so please don't think that you and a chosen few are the only ones trying to help. If you are feeling rage about this then perhaps you should do what you are always telling others-find out the real cause of your rage. What is it about yourself that makes you insecure when someone doesn't reply to you the way you think they ought to.
I see that you have posted asking about anxiety meds. I have experimented with mild quarter doses of anti-depressants after reading about their salutory effects regarding backpain. I have posted about them on the old board so I won't reinterate here.
You haven't read that particular post carefully. I didn't ask about anxiety meds. I was replying to someone else who wanted to come off their meds.
Maybe the reason I come across as dowdy in my posts is because I need to think more carefully when I'm writing than when I'm speaking. I try to be careful that I come across as polite and trying not to offend anyone coz when you speak, people can see the expressions on your face but when you write it's easy to be misunderstood. I can blurt out many things without offending or hurting people coz they can see my face but they can't when I write. Also, this is my first message board ever so I need time to warm up to the idea of writing to people I don't know and can't see.
If you feel that you are wasting your energy by replying to me then all I can say is that the choice to stop is entirely yours. I have always found your posts to be most useful and informative.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
Edited by - mala on 07/17/2004 18:46:43 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2004 : 10:19:17
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Dear Mala,
Thanks for your reply. I did a quick scan of your recent posts and came to the conclusion that the thing that would help you most would be to get your copy of Sarno back and READ, READ, READ. If you can't get it back today, go out and buy yourself a new copy. Being a goodist, I have bought, loaned out and given as gifts, numerous copies of Sarno's books. I don't do this much anymore. Sarno was right, few would accept his theory. Most people need their pain, it is their best friend--it keeps them from having to deal with the tough issues of life head-on. If someone I encounter in pain expresses an interest in Sarno, I make them buy their own copy to make a commitmet--it's like psychaiatric help, it doesn't work unless you PAY for it yourself.
So get your Sarno back and READ, READ, READ. I could sit here and cite all the mis-conceptions you have about TMS in your posts but firstly, I don't want to spend my time doing that since it's such a lovely day out, and secondly it would do you infintitly more good to discover for yourself what Sarno's TMS theory is all about.
I would stop walking so much and read more. I hope you take my comments in the right spirit. I could beat around the bush all day but it wouldn't do either one of us any good. My yoga teacher once said, "Your enemy who tells you the truth is a better friend than a friend who lies to you."
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 03:58:40
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tt,
I do read and will keep reading Sarno. I'm off to London in a few hours to our home in Surrey so I'll be posting from there. It's 12 hours on the plane (ugh!) and I 'll catch you guys later once I've settled in.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 15:17:32
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tennistom-
Most people need their pain, it is their best friend--it keeps them from having to deal with the tough issues of life head-on.
This describes my friend who was in a car accident several months ago and still hangs on to chiropractic, drugs, and all kinds of other treatments. She refused to even discuss Sarno with me after I gave her one of his books. I was going to continue to try to get her to really read the book, but then I thought, why? I truly believe she wants the pain. She's going through some life-changing events right now, so the accident was simply a trigger. She's loving the attention and the sympathy...I've moved on.
I'm still improving. It's been 3 weeks now, and other than some allergy problems, I'm getting better. I walked 3 miles yesterday morning and yeah, I felt some stiffness when I got in the car, but it was no big deal. I found a "comfort bike" that I like made by Cannondale. There's another one made out in your neck of the woods - Marin. I haven't checked them out yet. Know anything about them?
Hope you're doing well and making steady improvement.
JayP |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 21:30:21
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quote:
Originally posted by JayP
tennistom-
Most people need their pain, it is their best friend--it keeps them from having to deal with the tough issues of life head-on.
This describes my friend who was in a car accident several months ago and still hangs on to chiropractic, drugs, and all kinds of other treatments. She refused to even discuss Sarno with me after I gave her one of his books. I was going to continue to try to get her to really read the book, but then I thought, why? I truly believe she wants the pain. She's going through some life-changing events right now, so the accident was simply a trigger. She's loving the attention and the sympathy...I've moved on.
I'm still improving. It's been 3 weeks now, and other than some allergy problems, I'm getting better. I walked 3 miles yesterday morning and yeah, I felt some stiffness when I got in the car, but it was no big deal. I found a "comfort bike" that I like made by Cannondale. There's another one made out in your neck of the woods - Marin. I haven't checked them out yet. Know anything about them?
Hope you're doing well and making steady improvement.
JayP
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 21:35:55
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Dear JayP,
Sorry I messed up my reply to your post. I lost my message to you. I'll try again tomorrow, out of energy now from dealing with my diabetic cat. Very frustrating.
Keep on walking,
tt |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2004 : 10:21:30
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| JayP, I just lost another post. Is it me or is the board wonky? I see there havn't been many posts recently. |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2004 : 10:30:56
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| Can you describe exactly what happened? I can't find any problems with the board that would prevent posts from being saved, but maybe there is an intermittent problem that I have not seen. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2004 : 16:00:51
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| Dave, I don't know enough about computers to remember the sequence I did. It's probably me and not the site. I'm getting some computer tutoring so hopefully I'll do better. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2004 : 16:05:01
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| P.S. It may be that I didn't put my UserName in the post box. It seems like sometimes it would happen automatically but this morning I didn't and lost the message. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2004 : 10:29:13
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quote:
Originally posted by JayP
I'm still improving. It's been 3 weeks now, and other than some allergy problems, I'm getting better. I walked 3 miles yesterday morning and yeah, I felt some stiffness when I got in the car, but it was no big deal. I found a "comfort bike" that I like made by Cannondale. There's another one made out in your neck of the woods - Marin. I haven't checked them out yet. Know anything about them?
JayP
Dear JayP,
Let me try this again. I've lost three posts this week, probably due to my ineptness with registering and logging in properly--and they were all gems of literature I assure you. The act of writing the post makes me feel better, whether it gets successfully posted or not. It starts my day off honing my TMS thinking skills. The perfectionist in me, raises my rage level, because I failed to post, in order to appease the goodist in me.
I guess it's alright to hang out here at "Mala, what do you think???", kinda' like keeping a candle lit in the window for her. I'm sure we're all anxious to learn how she did on her 13 hour flight to England. Hopefully she got her copy of MBP back and read it on the flight and did some knowledge therapy.
Congatulatins,JayP, on your three mile walk. Sore muscles are normal after not having been used for a while or being used in new ways. It will go away in a day or two. After a couple of weeks of conditioning you won't get sore doing the same distance. You've earned a soothing hot-tub or a massage.
Cannondale and Marin bikes are good brands--but it's not the violin, it's the violinist. Buy your bike at a bike shop and not a dept. store, you're more likely to get a proper fit. It's important you get the correct frame sixe for your body and that the seat and handle bars are at the right hight, othrwise you'll be uncomfortable and quit riding it. Check out the bike shops in your area until you find a salesperson who is helpful, knowledgeable and will take , time to answer your questions.
I've been busy lately taking care of my diabetic cat. Pumpkin is using up a lot of my energy. He's 15. I give him two insulin injections daily, check his BG level with a glucometer, give him sub-Q fluids with an i.v. and clean up cat poop into the middle of the night.
JayP, keep up your Sarno thinking and walking.
tt |
Edited by - tennis tom on 07/25/2004 20:06:41 |
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2004 : 09:39:29
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Thanks, tt, for your last post...glad it finally made it!
Would you believe I washed 16 cars on Friday with the rest of the mgmt team at work?? There were only 7 of us and as part of our "employee appreciation month", we washed all of our employee's cars! I don't remember when I last washed my own car, but I'd bet it was at least 3 years ago. The amazing thing was I wasn't sore on Saturday except for some slight stiffness on the left side of my waist.
Saturday my husband and I bought Marin "hybrid" bikes at a reputable bike shop in town (Cannondale we found out is in bankruptcy and way overpriced). I had them adjust the handle bars so that they were higher. Since my husband and I haven't ridden in years (probably 20!), it's going to take some time to recondition ourselves! Once around the block was enough for both of us...needless to say, we've got a long way to go to catch up to Lance!!! So it was an active weekend to say the least!
I continue to only have one TMS symptom that isn't painful, just frustrating and somewhat embarrassing. I can't put my underwear on very easily! This started when I got "sick" 7 months ago, and I just can't seem to get my body to move the way it should and the way it used to. It may be a "conditioning" thing. Perhaps visualization is the way to get past it?
I, too, wonder how Mala made out on her long flight...my husband and I are going to Italy in September. We just received a business invitation from the Italian government with all expenses paid! Flights to Europe are always "painfully" long, especially on the return, but I wouldn't miss it for the world! At least now I feel like I won't have any problem, but had this come up 3 months ago, I probably wouldn't have wanted to go. I have Sarno, Amir, and people like you on this Forum to thank for that! And, of course, myself, for doing the "work"!
Sorry to hear about Pumpkin (great name--I assume he's orange and looks like "Morris" from cat commerical fame). I've never had any pets in my entire life, but can still imagine how upsetting it must be.
Take care.
JayP
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2004 : 03:56:17
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Hi everyone,
Well, I made the 13 hour flight plus another 1 to get home. It wasn't as bad as I thought although it wasn't the most comfortable one I've ever had. We have a friend with us from HK who is staying for 2 weeks after that we have 3 more sets of people from HK and 5 groups of friends from various places around England and Ireland. The weather here is gorgeous and the house is a big old inviting 9 bedroom place where people can hide and not be seen or heard if they don't want to be. I don't understand the pain pattern anymore. There are days when we have been out the whole day and I'm pretty much OK and then 2 days later the pain sets in big time and then goes away again. What does help is going out and not focussing on it too much.
I guess it's alright to hang out here at "Mala, what do you think???", kinda' like keeping a candle lit in the window for her.
tt, that is just so cute. I hope pumpkin is feeling slightly better and that you aren't getting too stressed. We had a dog Hifi who was abandoned when she was 5 and we took her in. She died at 16. She was blind,(kept bumping into walls) had arthritis and couldn't walk straight coz of an ear imbalance but we still loved her like mad till the day she had to be put down so I somewhat know what it must be like for you.
JayP, I'm so impressed and pleased (and to some extent envious) by the progress you have made. Washing cars walking, cycling... Well done and keep at it. Italy ...wow great place. If you can, try to visit Tuscany and Venice - 2 of the most gorgeous places ever. I took some strong pain killers when flying and that helped a lot especially from getting sore muscles.
What about that Lance eh? What an amazing man to overcome cancer and continue winning. Gives us all hope yet.
Take care all of you.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
Edited by - mala on 07/27/2004 04:01:01 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2004 : 09:21:51
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JayP,
Congratulations on buying the bikes. The hy-brid is what I have and it will be good for recreational use and low maintenance. I have a similar type by Nishiki that I've had for 20 years and it serves me well. I put a rack on the front of the old Blazer and would take it on vacations. If you and your husband get into it you might want to take a bike maintenace class to get familiar with the mechanics and learn how to fix flat tires. The shop you bought it at may know if there are any in your area or maybe they hold them there.
Sounds like you're doing great. Wasn't a lot of your stress coming from your boss, if I recall right? How did you resolve the situation?
When I fly, if in coach, I like to be in the very back, but not the last row where the seats don't fully recline. It's near the rear galley where there is lot's of room to (do I dare say stretch?) hang out and kibbitz with the crew. The back rows are the last ones to be assigned so there's a better chance to have empty seats to stretch out on. Also, if your going as a couple I reaquest the deuce seats also towards the back where the plane narrows.
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2004 : 10:49:33
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tt-
Thanks for the advice on the bikes. Knowing the guy we bought the bikes from, he’ll probably just give us a lesson in “zen and the art of bicycle maintenance” if we ask him. Sorry, I couldn’t resist!
Nothing has been resolved or changed at work. My boss remains a bully, although it’s been quiet for awhile now. At this point we are all waiting to see what happens next year. Either I’ll still be here and she’ll be gone or vice versa, or we’ll all be out the door due to a major reorg. I, like most people, dread confrontation, especially with someone who has a quick comeback for anything. There is no “winning” and she is completely unapproachable. There’s no way I’m going to stick my neck out because I know my head will be chopped off and handed back to me. So in the meantime, I’ve bought a book on bullies that should be arriving any day now and I’m hoping that will help me deal with her. On the TMS front, the only thing I did was read Amir’s book and practiced yelling the hell out of my TMS. I found that if I “throw” myself physically into it, I actually shake for a few minutes because I’m clenching my fists and squeezing my eyes shut as hard as I can while I’m yelling (inside) at my TMS. Sounds weird, but it’s worked. If you haven’t tried this, you might want to. I had very quick results even after the first few times I did it. I also did some therapy of my own through journaling, and also had 2 major breakthroughs from dreams. The second dream was more powerful than the first and I was able to really get to the root of my problem which goes back to my childhood. I also found out information on my boss about her own childhood that explains her behavior. It doesn’t excuse it, but helps me to better understand where she is coming from.
With regard to seats on planes, I’m of the opposite opinion! I’m a seasoned traveler who views the seats in the “back of the bus” as my worst nightmare. Hot, noisy, bumpy, and smelly (too close to the bathrooms), not to mention the people who queue up in the aisle and get to watch you sleep! So, we usually opt for the front of the plane or in exit rows (the ones that recline!) if we go coach. I’m with you though about kibitzing with the crew and other passengers who can’t seem to stay seated. It’s fun meeting new people.
All for now. Thanks again for your post.
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2004 : 08:54:29
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Tennis Tom,
Just wanted to let you know that I walked 3 miles yesterday and biked 5 miles! The new bike is great and I'm finally getting used to it. Later in the day I was sitting for a couple of hours and felt a lot of stiffness in my low back. But then I realized that my mind was only focusing on my back. As soon as I stopped thinking about it, it stopped and I was fine the rest of the day. Today I don't have any soreness. So even after an hour and a half of exercise yesterday, which I haven't done in years, my body is fine!
On top of that I managed to get through dinner with my in-laws last night, which always brings on stress. Other than still not having all of my flexibility back, I'm definitely on the road back and feel that I'm now at 98%.
I can't recommend Amir's book enough. It made ALL the difference for me and I hope that anyone reading this who hasn't read his book goes out and buys a copy right away!
How's your hip doing? Pumpkin?
JayP |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 08/04/2004 : 17:31:21
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Dear JayP,
Congrat's on your beginning cycleing. Take it easy and listen to your body. I consider two weeks, on average, to be the break-in period for any new endeavor, whether cycling or brain surgery. After two weeks it seems, to me at least, the mindbody makes the homeostatic adjustment to the new activity or environment and the stress levels off.
If you feel any intense pain, back-off, and pay attention to it. Proceed gingerly and slowly work it out or stop the activity. Don't try to accelerate your progress too fast. If your starting with 30 minutes of biking one day, don't jump to an hour the next. Increase in small increments to allow your body to build up stamina and strength. Take occasional days off for rest and recovery.
Take it from me, the last thing you want is getting injured. It's just not worth it. Then you have to start sorting out all that TMS stuff-is my butt sore because I rode too far yesterday or is it my boss?
I'm on vacation now in Oregon on the coast. Drove three days and viewed driving as a rest. My diabetic kitty Pumpkin is in good hands with a cat sitter who had a diabetic also and knows how to shoot insulin. Thanks for asking. Have a great trip yourself to Tuscany. |
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 08/06/2004 : 07:20:35
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Tom,
Thanks for your post. Glad you are enjoying your trip! Have a wonderful time and give us an update when you return.
JayP |
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Mala, what do you thiink???
