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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
 Posted - 06/11/2005 : 09:19:05
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So,I quit my job and started my own business.First I'm terrified I won't get any work,and when I get the work I'm terrified I can't do it,and after I do it, I'm terrified that I won't get any more,and after I get some more I'm terrified it's an abheration......into infinity.
Oh yeah...My Wife...the PILLAR of stability in the family ALSO is in the middle of a job change(all for the better..mo money,benefits,etc)
and I wake up with SCIATICA for the first time in....years???
But,as I've been current on the journaling/K.I.T.-with-the-REAL-me type of stuff I literally just scolded it away.
The funny part was that in the past,I'd have to wait for all the stress to go away before I could get a little respite.I'm still stressed out of my mind(which means my subconscious probably is terrified) and the symptoms went away with just a talking to.
I have just read a bunch of new posters stories,and I just thought I'd post this to let people know that after you've been at this a while,you really can just talk it away......that used to get me sooooooo angry ,reading about it in the book,especially when my relapses would go on for a week or two.
-out
Baseball65 |
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Jackie
27 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2005 : 12:09:50
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Baseball 65
Your post was just what I needed. My Dr. told me to "read the book" in February. It didn't take me long to see myself on every page. I seemed to be making progress...then I let up...and now I'm almost back where I started. I know I need to start over...I know this can work for me. I guess I am impatient! I have been trying to identify what could be bothering me...is it necessary to write it down? I haven't done that yet. To tell you the truth something in me does not want to journal. I guess that means that I should!
I'm going to reread the book now...thanks to everyone for their postings.
Jackie |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2005 : 21:22:08
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quote:
...is it necessary to write it down?
I don't know if it is absolutely imperative to write it down,but I was already schooled in a sort of "what's ReallY going on?" writing technique in which I would subject my lifes day to day experiences to scrutiny on paper.
Sometimes it's more like a brainstorming sheet with a theme,like:
What's bugging me right now?
Or
What's NOT bugging me that ought to be?
or
What am I scared about right now?
Than I just start scrawling everything that comes to mind as fast as I can think about it,an inevitably I have a discovery of something that I might have otherwise not gotten a glimpse at.....
Most of us sort of fall asleep,and when asked "how's it going?" respond "fine",even to ourselves.We might consciously feel fine or that we can handle our problems,but TMS is always a sign that we are handling them too well.
I wouldn't know if writing is absolutely necessary because I've always done it,but it seems like the few symptoms I do get always happen during times I'm too busy to do it....?????
peace
Baseball65 |
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bhbauman
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 13:24:20
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Baseball, your story is inspiring. I WISH that I could 'talk' this away right now! I write all of my fears down...but my main fear is the FEAR of the PAIN! I can't get it to stop! I'm so scared cause I have a big job this week, starting TOMORROW, during which I'm supposed to be standing around for HOURS...and I can hardly stand for a few minutes without having to TRY and TRY to push through the pain.
And then the pain gets TOO MUCH!
I apologize for sounding hysterical and NEEDING, but I am PANICKING and I don't know what to do!
Thank you, Ben |
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Jackie
27 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 14:16:59
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Ben
I'm trying to get where Baseball 65 is also. I think that we both may be stuck on the same step...think psychologically about the pain. That is where I sort of gave up. I couldn't get over that hump...when I am in pain I may get angry..but my energy doesn't seem to go in the right direction.I can't seem to shift my attention away from the pain.
I'm starting over...rereading the book...and this time I will journal. Thank you Baseball for the "how to" example. I will also begin rereading some of the advice that was so helpful when I began back in Feb....I printed up some of the advice to reread. Go back and look at some of the older strings...there is a lot about how to think psychologically. I keep thinking, I can do this...others have been successful I can do. When my Dr. told me to read the book..the one thing that was missing was talking to others who had been through this. This forum was the answer for me. Thanks again to everyone for your help.
Jackie |
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bhbauman
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 16:34:57
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Hey Jackie...
I feel, and perhaps you can relate to this, that I REALLY, REALLY believe the concept of TMS wholeheartedly in my BRAIN, but I can't seem to turn the corner and believe it in my HEART or "subconscious mind," as Dr. Sarno says. (page 78 of Healing Back Pain)
This is SO frustrating! Because I KNOW that I have TMS, yet I cannot stop my brain from using the pain.
I have been making and then reading lists like Dr. Sarno says. One list a pressure list in which I entered all of the things that I put pressure on myself to achieve and which I probably have repressed anxiety and anger for; like, the pressure to be a good son, a good friend. The pressure of succeeding and being good at my career, etc.
The next list is the strategy list or daily reminders on page 82.
Finally, I made ANOTHER list that I thought would be helpful today. This is a list of things that I'm THANKFUL for. I guess a positivity list! Like my family, my friends, my iMAC, my car, my talent, and even this pain of which the struggle to get over, I believe, will make me a better person.
Reflections?
~ Ben |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2005 : 04:54:33
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quote:
I WISH that I could 'talk' this away right now!
Ben and Jackie.
Keep in mind,I've been at this for around 7 years.I was still having frustrating experiences of pain I was SURE was TMS but would NOT go away as recent as three of four years ago
It would come out of Nowhere,seemingly at the most inopportune times,and usually took about 5-10 days to banish
anyways,don't get too down on yourself....we're just involved in an UNconditioning project,and one of the constituent building blocks is time.
-peace
Baseball65 |
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bhbauman
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2005 : 08:55:37
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| Thanks Baseball. Your words are encouraging. |
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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2005 : 10:56:32
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Baseball 65's journalling system is rock solid. It's helped me a lot over the last few months. I now automatically find myself thinking in the middle of conversations when I get symptoms, "why am I angry right now?" I almost always come up with something.
Keep us posted on the business front Baseball. I wish you much success. Awesome that you can send your sciatica away so fast. Also interesting that you can be, as you say, "stressed out of your mind" while simultaneously symptom-free, which goes to show how it's the subconscious stuff that does the damage. |
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Jackie
27 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2005 : 16:56:56
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Hi all
Indeed...Baseball65's model for journal writing is great...Before, I just couldn't get anything down on paper...now I can ! It isn't as difficult a task as I thought.
Ben...I totally agree. I too believe 100% that I have TMS..the book is great...I've even recommended to others. I have been having the same problem "turning the corner". I hope that adding the writing piece and rereading the book and advice from this forum will be the solution.
Baseball65...I join Hilary in wishing you well on your new business. If you could lick TMS....you can do anything!!! Good Chi to you.
Jackie |
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2005 : 16:23:21
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Good luck with the new business! You'll do a great job. Of course you'll worry, because you are a conscientious businessman - which makes you a GOOD businessman!  |
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So....I quit my job and started.......
