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almost there
109 Posts |
 Posted - 05/26/2005 : 13:20:42
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Dear Group- As of the middle of January, this year, I have been pain free after my last encounter with TMS....which was the first of many "things" in my life I actually recognized as TMS! Recently we had a big gathering of family and friends for a First Communion....the two weeks prior I pushed myself to make everything "perfect"! Since I work full time this was a stretch for me....everything was perfect alright...but my back went out....I could hardly move....funny thing though...it always has gone out on the right side and this time it was the left...and it felt "different"....painful but different....the spasms have ceased but I am left with a sharp pain in my left buttock especially when moving (walking, turning over in bed)....usually by now the pain is lessening...not this time!....I really think it is stress driven as I feel it right in the muscle....I am trying hard not to let "that old gremlin" push me into thinking it's structural.....I have Dr. Sarno's books here with me at work...I read a few pages when I can...find the Letters from Patients in the back of "Healing Back Pain" most helpful.
I read this Forum every day...it is very comforting....please keep me in your thoughts that I pull out of this soon....I truly think I will...I just have to relax, think psychological and remember I did it once....I can do it again! |
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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 15:58:01
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You did it once, you will get out of it again. Sounds like the old demon came back but now you are armed with knowledge.
Hang in and let us know how it goes. |
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almost there
109 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 16:07:11
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Maryalma-
You are right...this time I am armed with knowledge...just need patience and courage! |
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Allan
USA
226 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 17:17:42
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almost there
There appears to be a pattern among the posts that one starts to make good progress, and then the pain starts moving around (a very good sign of progress) then a gradual recovery to a pain free status. Just a one begins to celebrate, or even months later, the pain comes back. This was also the pattern for me.
There appears to be a general acceptance by the forum members that the pain is emotionally induced and that there is oxygen deprivation and that the result is pain in the muscle, nerve, tendon or ligament or some other TMS equivalent.
The problem is what to do when pain comes back. I have seen some comments on the postings relative to addressing the underlying problem (stress, anxiety or anger) that is causing the pain. Very few cases, according to Dr. Sarno, require psychotherapy. It appears that in most cases the person is aware of the cause and it is usually related a family member, boss, co-worker or someone close to the person.
The resolvement is another matter. Easier said than done. It appears that it is an individual situation. The important thing is that some attempt has to be made to make peace with that individual.
Allan.
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almost there
109 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 19:47:35
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Allan-
Thank you for responding! You are so right....what to do with the pain! This is a different site of pain for me than the horrible pain I endured over the Christmas hollidays that was the vehicle that introduced me to Dr. Sarno, his books, his web-sites and most importantly his ideas....I have no doubt this is emotionally driven....but it hurts! There are so many reasons (people) that I can think of off the top of my head that could be the driving force for this latest episode....I guess I just have to go through them one by one trying to discover the culprit that has brought this on! The pain has moved somewhat lower... so that helps to inforce the belief that this is TMS! Nice to know you are out there! |
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alinnyc
USA
20 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 07:37:17
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Almost There
Hang in there. You know that the TMS diagnosis is right and you know that it can make you pain free. That is really important and means that it will be much easier this time cause you don't have to learn that (you already know it).
I find my recovery very uneven. So is my learning to deal with my emotions and anger. With family, I find my emotions are particularly highly charged. The conflicting feelings that they create are amazing. We have so many patterns of behavior and feeling and we fall right back into them and that anger comes charging back. I find with me that often I am not really in touch with what I am feeling and at the same time, am very afraid of hurting my families feelings so I don't stand up for myself.
You will beat this thing again. You already have. It really isn't about physical hurt but emotional hurt. What are you afraid to explore? |
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 09:08:40
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You can and you will do it again, Almost There. I can't remember where I read it - it may have been posted by someone here - Once the process of healing from the kind of pain you are suffering has begun, it is unstoppable.
Remember, it took years of conditioning to make you (and me) react to stressful situations in the way you do; it may take some time for the de-conditioning process to be complete.
My recovery was gradual, with set-backs along the way, but it kind of sneaked up on me. I truly do look at things differently now - I hardly ever react in a way that gives my body pain any more.
I say hardly ever - earlier this week I began a part time job - it's working in an educational centre that provides tuition in very small groups for children that are having difficulties with aspects of their maths and English work.
The first day, I loved it - I was working with a lovely lady (who was showing me the ropes), the time flew past and I came home well pleased with myself.
The second day, I was working with a teacher who was on edge all the time, nagged constantly at the students, suggested that my areas of expertise were not really ideal for this job - was a complete pain, in fact.
After I left the centre my back began to rage. In the past this would have been the beginning of days, if not weeks of agony, but this time, as I felt myself get angrier and angrier at that woman, the pain subsided. I've learned to allow myself to feel justifiable anger.
You've got the patience and the courage, Almost There, and now you have the knowledge you need - you'll get there.
Best wishes
Anne |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 10:11:14
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quote:
Originally posted by AnneG
You can and you will do it again, Almost There. I can't remember where I read it - it may have been posted by someone here - Once the process of healing from the kind of pain you are suffering has begun, it is unstoppable. Anne
Anne- I really like what you said here and I think it is helpful to know that if we keep working on our TMS it will eventually yield to the work. We all have to trust in the process and know that eventually things will get better.
quote:
Originally posted by AnneG
After I left the centre my back began to rage. In the past this would have been the beginning of days, if not weeks of agony, but this time, as I felt myself get angrier and angrier at that woman, the pain subsided. I've learned to allow myself to feel justifiable anger. Anne
Anne- This is beautiful! It typifies how us TMS'ers have to change the way we react and not fall back on the old habit of repressing our emotions especially anger. To know what you are feeling when you are feeling it. To express the anger and not dismiss it as unimportant. If we had all done this from the start none of us would be TMS suffers now. I've been trying to practice this kind of behavior as well. When someone or something angers me I no longer just keep quiet and let it pass but give the feelings priority. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 10:26:21
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quote:
Originally posted by almost there
Recently we had a big gathering of family and friends for a First Communion....the two weeks prior I pushed myself to make everything "perfect"!
That looks like a double wammy for TMS to strike back.
Number 1 is the family reunions. I've noticed that lots of posts regarding reoccuring TMS occurs on family meetings. This makes a lot of sense since we are often unconsciously angry at our parents for some hurt in the past even when it was unintentional. The meetings re-awakens the rage and pushes it closer to the surface.
Number 2 is trying to make it perfect. Sarno talks a lot about how this enrages the child within. Next time make a point of not making it so perfect and doing something fun for yourself instead. You deserve it. |
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almost there
109 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 10:28:17
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Alinnyc and AnneG-
Thank you both for your kind words of sharing...I am at work and ignoring the pain as much as is humanly possible! I am refusing to let it stop me from what doing whatever....the upcoming Memorial Day Week-end should be a challenge...this is not easy stuff! |
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TMS Attacks Again
