| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| plum |
Posted - 01/22/2013 : 05:55:13
I'm sure we're all familiar with the idea that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. Like many here I really appreciate and value the superb keys to healing created by Ace1. There are 25 of them which nicely takes us over that threshold.
I think they're so good that I propose posting one each day in the spirit of savouring them fully. Hopefully it'll allow us to focus on each point rather than gallop through the list, (a tendency in contradiction to the whole thing that I just did!)
I hope you don't mind Ace1.
Here's the first key:
1. Try to be aware of all internal reactions through your day.
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| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/20/2013 : 12:47:09
I think that because the human mindbody is so complex there are numerous ways to arrive at healing, just like there are numerous faith / spiritual traditions in existence which have helped, as well as harmed, humanity throughout the course of its history. Choose one and follow it and if it works for you then that is simply wonderful. The problem is, as I see it, people become dogmatic about some point of view and proclaim that unless we follow their way then we are doomed. Religious leaders and health professionals are both guilty of this narrow minded way of thinking. Yes, we undermine our own efforts at times and get out of balance and focus, but suffering pulls us back into reality. Suffering is the greatest teacher of all.
Not everyone, however, can arrive at this reality with acceptance and, as a result, go through life carrying a lot of emotional and physical pain. |
| alix |
Posted - 02/20/2013 : 12:02:22
Cheers Shawn! You'l get there. See we did the opposite.
You did the repressed stuff and went nowhere. Now you are doing Ace's keys and it is helping.
I did the opposite. I started with strain and mindfulness. It helped but I was not healing. For me the in depth stuff was missing.
Nicole got it right: address the day to day stuff, personality, and childhood memories. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/20/2013 : 11:43:59
quote:
Originally posted by alix
Shawn, don't take things so personally.
The best advice anyone has ever given me. I am working on it. Pray for Mojo...... |
| alix |
Posted - 02/20/2013 : 11:04:31
Shawn, don't take things so personally. Who cares if Sarno's model (based on Freud as you rightly pointed out) is not exact. It is an approximation. I get that. Dr.Schubiner has a more complex model but the unconscious mind is still 100% part of it. It is also my experience and conviction. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/20/2013 : 10:33:34
Sarno's unconscious mind? No, he got that from Freud. And the concept has been subject to ridicule long before this message board. But, as I have continually stated, if the concept works for you then use it.When I say I don't agree with a concept or idea that does not mean that I am 100% right and others are wrong. I am just like everyone else on this planet have opinions. Sometimes they are correct and many times they are not. Don't let other people's opposing opinions sway your faith. |
| plum |
Posted - 02/20/2013 : 10:30:15
Hi Alix, thanks for the opportunity to clarify. I'm not refering to the discussions, they are important. It's the whole either/or polarisation and its tendency to devolve. It's much healthier to embrace a 'yes, and' perspective. So for me it's Sarno and Weekes and Ace. I see them as complements. The unconscious mind and sensitised nerves and mindfulness...there's a place for all. Sorry if you mistakenly thought I was getting at you, I'm most definitely not. |
| alix |
Posted - 02/20/2013 : 10:04:56
Plum, it is not bickering at all! I have a fundamental disagreement so I express it. If we all agree all the time then how can we evolve our collective understanding?
I have done what is recommended in Ace's keys for years. I have done several mindfulness retreats and I meditate daily. That was not enough for me.
I needed to go back to those *gasp* "repressed memories" to heal. So, yes I am a little bit puzzled, probably like Forrest that came here to discuss a book, to see that Sarno's unconscious mind has become an object of ridicule. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/20/2013 : 05:26:50
quote:
Originally posted by Bugbear
I think the confusion I speak about arises from information overload, some of it conflicting but some of it incredibly compelling. I am in a rush, I guess, to take it all in. This causes me to strain.
Yes Bugbear, you got it, and is a major pitfall many people fall into. Don't overload yourself with too much information as you will indeed become confused. You will tell yourself that unless you understand and take in all of this data you will not recover. Placing that kind of pressure on yourself will lead to discouragement because most people will not be able to comprehend all of this data and new emerging research. That is fine for academics, but not for the well-being of the patient. Keep it simple. Read Ace's keys every single day and do your best to bring them into practice.
Best wishes! |
| Bugbear |
Posted - 02/20/2013 : 00:39:28
quote:
Originally posted by chickenbone
Ignoring posts that we don't like or agree with IS a viable option. Getting angry about them or running away is not healthy.
I don't actually mind the bickering. It is part of life and refreshing in a way to see people so passionate even if expressed negatively. I think the confusion I speak about arises from information overload, some of it conflicting but some of it incredibly compelling. I am in a rush, I guess, to take it all in. This causes me to strain.
As for anger, I have this from my past, estranged family and in my life on a daily basis with my immediate family and at work. My job involves conflict resolution. There is also plenty of conflict amongst staff and managers within the organisation. As for the a-holes I need to forgive, none of them are on this forum.
That being said one of my internal reactions is often the urge to run away. This brings us back to fight/flight/freeze. I haven't yet read the article about the fawning but it is saved to my iPad reading list for later. I will try not to strain to read it. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 08:19:05
Oh and Alix and RSR - The posts on the fight/flight/freeze/fawn subject were fabulous. I got a lot out of these as far as understanding myself and took a lot of notes. Thanks. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 08:13:41
What Ace said about confusing or negative posts is so right. If we run from what bothers us on this forum, we can be sure we are avoiding issues in life that we really need to address. Like he says, we must try to de-condition ourselves to this, learn to remain in the situation in the moment, sit with our upset, make space for it and then LET IT GO. Ignoring posts that we don't like or agree with IS a viable option. Getting angry about them or running away is not healthy. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 05:31:00
quote:
Originally posted by Bugbear
Shawn, my name isn't chickenbone but I also need to forgive a lot of assholes and move on. That statement above was like an arrow shot into my heart.
Sometimes we tell ourselves that we have totally let go of these feelings and then, out of the blue, we run into someone we have not seen in a long time or see their photo on the internet and all of a sudden these old emotions of bitterness, or even hatred, come to the surface and we feel a constriction. It is often the case that we cannot even know why we feel that way towards the person. It is most likely tied to some interaction we had with them or our past perception of them. When this happens, you may want to ask yourself why you feel this way towards this person. You may not always find the answer as you may have simply forgotten. But you do have the power to develop a positive affirmation towards the person as a way of forgiveness and personal healing.
Affirmation: I forgive and let go easily. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 05:21:21
quote:
Originally posted by Ace1
......I don't want you guys to sensitize yourselves and run away from these when they happen. You want to train yourselves to let go better and just be an observer that can just watch and not react.......
I think what Ace1 says here is also important. In real life it will be impossible to always avoid situations which make is uncomfortable, thus we have to learn how to conduct ourselves in these situations so as to reduce strain and eventually, as we become de-conditioned, the onset of symptoms. The later keys deal with this a bit more concretely. |
| plum |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 05:10:07
Doubtless this is peculiar to Brits of a certain age but my inner ear plays this when the squabbling starts...
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg# |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 04:17:07
Shawn look at your post with the bold letters. What you say is 100% true. I must however, for your own awareness point out that there is a lot of strain in that message. You want people to understand, so much, more than what is natural and this creates a strain. Strain remember is the basic cause. Strain believe it or not is also contagious.
While the bickering etc on the forum is non productive and would be best not done on here and while i also think the person perpetuating is probably hurting themselves, I don't want you guys to sensitize yourselves and run away from these when they happen. You want to train yourselves to let go better and just be an observer that can just watch and not react. When they happen, see if you can use it as a healing situation for yourselves. This is not easy. This eventually would be a helpful goal, but if your just starting out you can avoid it for now, but know you will have to desensitize yourself at one point as this kind of thing is a regular part of our society. Also try not to get yourselves involved in it directly when it happens. |
| plum |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 01:07:59
Hello Bugbear,
We'll be going through the keys at a slower, gentler pace. I totally understand how you feel having passed through a very confused phase myself. I've come very close to throwing in my forum towel on more than one occasion. However my little ducks are almost in a row (bit of straggling going on), and deep within my noodle a post explaining the harmony between the methods/approaches is taking shape.
The bickering helps no one and is incredibly despiriting. I read selectively here now, favouring the warmth and advice of people who have healed and the gentle souls who are genuinely focused on healing. All the argy-bargy is wearing and a waste of energy.
With love x |
| Bugbear |
Posted - 02/19/2013 : 00:32:03
I am so glad you guys decided to go through these keys again, hopefully at a slower pace. I haven't been posting much and am trying to avoid certain threads that have been causing doubt, confusion and fear. My symptoms have ramped up recently. I haven't experienced one symptom at a time; I have been hit with mother load, even an old symptom from my childhood came back after decades to wave 'hello'.
I'm glad you have come through it all, Alix, and can see these discussions about the unconscious as something that would have caused you to doubt in the past. I think they are having this same reaction in me now. I thought maybe I would stop reading the posts on this forum all together as I was getting so confused and upset. However I really like the support at some of you give me, even when I remain a lurker and you don't realise I am here.
I like Ace's keys for their simplicity. I like simplicity. I like Dave's posts too because he is so clear, cuts out all the jargon and reinforces my knowledge. When things get too complex, I tense up.
Shawn, my name isn't chickenbone but I also need to forgive a lot of assholes and move on. That statement above was like an arrow shot into my heart.
I am aware of all the negative chatter but I also notice when I am happy or excited I am also revved up. Someone posted recently about how our stress isn't all negative. Whether positive or negative, it is still stress and I react accordingly.
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| alix |
Posted - 02/18/2013 : 22:23:04
I am just glad I did not see those posts questioning one of the tenets of Dr.Sarno's theory when I was doing the psychological work and recovering thus instilling doubts. I agree that for many people, strain reduction and control is the key to solving TMS, but I think it would be a shame to simply dismiss the repressed rage theory on the ground that it is simplistic and Freudian. RSR has posted a brilliant article today on the fight/flight/freeze reaction during childhood and how it relates unconsciously to our day to day often maladaptive response. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 02/18/2013 : 19:58:17
Many thanks to Shawn and Alix. Shawn, your advice helped me a lot. In fact I just ordered the book "Forgive For Good" by Fred Luskin because I realized recently that I have a lot of unforgiveness that I have not completely let go of. It might be useful for all of us to realize that there is a difference between "the unconscious mind" as an "entity" and simply using the words "unconscious" or even "subconscious" to describe thoughts or emotions that may be operating in the background of our minds. I realize that a lot of people don't have the same idea of "unconscious" that I do and I don't have a problem with that and I am not out to push anyone's hot buttons. I think we can all help each other without tripping over "semantics".
I also agree with Shawn that belief in the unconscious is not necessary for Ace's Keys to heal the majority of us. Of course, Sylvia is correct also that there are people who may need psychotherapy or just more "digging deeper" to heal. Fortunately, I believe this to be a small minority. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/18/2013 : 16:56:17
That's fine Alix. As I stated before, if the concept works for you then use it to your benefit, but for the purposes of Ace's keys to healing, reference to the unconscious is not essential. We are not here to have debates about whether there is such a thing as an unconscious or not, but to achieve healing in our lives, which is what I hope for you and everyone reading these words. |
