| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/03/2013 : 07:22:46
If there is anything I physically do to avoid the pain then I am telling myself that I don't have TMS but some kind of structural problem and thus will not recover.
There are occasions / people within my life which trigger symptoms.
The more I dwell on the symptoms the longer they will remain.
The more I want to get well the longer the symptoms will persist.
Fear of oncoming symptom attacks prolongs suffering. |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Racer |
Posted - 01/13/2013 : 08:15:16
quote:
Oh Tom, marriage would clear up your TMS right away. LOL
TTom, think 1,000 times. 
I'm sure, you know very well, there is always a challenge to meet the expectations of others in a relationship.
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| KristenG |
Posted - 01/09/2013 : 14:07:42
Thanks for the warm welcome, TennisTom. I have been lurking for some time. I finally decided to register and join in the conversation.
I am not very good with relationships apparently. I've been married. I went through a long period of anxiety when I divorced...and I was the one that wanted the divorce. Crazy, right? I was then in another 8 or 9 year relationship. I, too, was the one that wanted out. I got out of the relationship, but not out of the house. Due to financial reasons we both still needed to cohabitate. After this one I figured I would take some time to figure out where and was going wrong. Part of my problem is that I am a people pleaser (of course), so I always did whatever made others happy, regardless of how I felt. I have been feeling more stress than normal the last few month...job stuff, a sick parent..etc. That caused me to start having panic attacks again. I am pretty good at pushing those away but then I started with pain things...tmj, neck/shoulder pain, and vertigo. I had read Dr. Sarno's book years ago when I had anxiety so I knew it was TMS. I found this site and the TMSwiki site and started to journal. That has been helpful, but reliving a lot of my past experiences has brought up a lot of anger at the ex...anger that I had previously suppressed. I feel like I can't be around him at all without feeling angry. I don't express it because I need a place to live at the moment. When I repress the anger I get bouts of dizziness. Dizziness/vertigo is my "scariest" symptom. I am trying not to pay any attention, but it isn't easy....but I will get there.
So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it! That's for listening. I look forward to getting to know you all a little better.
Kristen |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 01/09/2013 : 12:05:37
quote:
Originally posted by shawnsmith
Oh Tom, marriage would clear up your TMS right away. LOL
Thanks for the kind words Shawn, but I'd rather take a bullet in my hip--and in fact took a TMS bullet there once that triggered it all--I won't mention her name. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/09/2013 : 11:48:18
Oh Tom, marriage would clear up your TMS right away. LOL |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 01/09/2013 : 11:32:11
quote:
Originally posted by KristenG
quote:
The more I want to get well the longer the symptoms will persist.
My .02 on this is that you are already well. It is just that your perception is off. If you believe yourself to be well, you will. If you doubt it, you won't. It sounds simple, but sometimes we try to make things more difficult that they are. Henry Ford said something like "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!" Same sort of thing. Again, this is just my .02.
quote:
There are occasions / people within my life which trigger symptoms.
This is one that I struggle with. If anyone can offer any insight on this I am all ears.
Kristen
Welcome to TMSLand Kristen, good post! I agree TMS is much to do about how we feel about ourselves and our situations, as you said PERCEPTION.
As far as relationship triggers, that's huge too--being in one/not being in one--whatever. As far as the important ones like parents:"Why are they so good at pushing our buttons--because they installed them."
I try to learn from others mistakes, I've never married, but I've been and am in long-term relationships that are longer then most marriages--no kids though, a cat once in a while. Others can probably advise better: headphones, separate bedrooms, separate vacations, boxing gloves, divorce?
Cheers,
tt
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod
=================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
| KristenG |
Posted - 01/09/2013 : 11:28:47
Ha! I guess we are in the same boat then? Mine is only temporary until I find a new place to live. In the meantime, I am trying to find a way to cope.
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| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/09/2013 : 11:18:20
Tell me about it Kristen, this is what is keeping me stuck. |
| KristenG |
Posted - 01/09/2013 : 11:07:56
quote:
The more I want to get well the longer the symptoms will persist.
My .02 on this is that you are already well. It is just that your perception is off. If you believe yourself to be well, you will. If you doubt it, you won't. It sounds simple, but sometimes we try to make things more difficult that they are. Henry Ford said something like "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!" Same sort of thing. Again, this is just my .02.
quote:
There are occasions / people within my life which trigger symptoms.
This is one that I struggle with. If anyone can offer any insight on this I am all ears.
Kristen |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 04:49:20
Hi Mala
Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but yes I do continue to have these fears and I doubt they will ever go away. |
| mala |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 04:09:01
Great post Shawn. I have a question. You said that
quote:
In my case, I think one of my major repressed emotions is fear of abandonment, loss and not being taken care of which stems from early childhood and adolescent experiences surrounding mom and dad's divorce after 29 years of marriage.
Do you still feel that fear of abandonment & loss ? Doesn't it go away once you have recognized & identified the source which in your case I think you have.
Thanx
Mala
Mala Singh Barber. I'm on facebook. Look me up
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| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/06/2013 : 05:16:07
Thanks Matthew! In fact, I own a copy of Viktor E. Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning" and maybe now is the time to read it. Here is the entire book online:
http://www.spiritual-minds.com/philosophy/assorted/ ebook %20Viktor%20Frankl%20-%20Man s%20Search%20For%20Meaning%20 psychology,%20psychotherapy,%20philosophy -o.pdf
You can also listen to it at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gq1Zm3j_9LE |
| bjackson034 |
Posted - 01/05/2013 : 20:53:14
Nicely articulated. |
| MatthewNJ |
Posted - 01/05/2013 : 20:18:22
My 2 cents.
-1- If you say "I want to get better", you will always want to get better. The universe gives you what you ask for. Be careful what you ask for. That said, I choose to say I am healthy and I am strong. Those are in the moment affirmations, not "wants".
-2- I do not believe we can completely reduce our daily stresses. Some yes, but not the majority. What we can do is choose how we respond to them vs reacting without a choice.
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Viktor E. Frankl
He wrote "Man's Search for Meaning". Dr. Frankl was a psychiatrist and survived the Nazi concentration camps. He developed Logotherapy
Mindfulness of how you feel all the time allows you to choose! Not an easy task, but I have been practicing it a long time, and the more I practice the better I get!
Matthew
Ferretsx3@comcast.net
--------------------
Less activated, more regulated and more resilient. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/05/2013 : 17:59:39
How are you going to change what takes place in the unconscious mind? You can't. Remember, the emotions you can consciously feel are not the emotions which are a source of the problem. You can never know with certainty what takes place in unconscious mind, but merely speculate. (Note, I don't merely read Sarno, I study his work also.) Dr. Sarno writes about this in his books. Here is what he writes in page 33-34 of Healing Back Pain:
THE UNCONSCIOUS MIND
The word unconscious has an unfortunate other use, that is, to be
out of contact as in sleep or when brain damaged. However, it is
firmly entrenched in the psychological literature as referring to
that part of emotional activity of which we are usually unaware,
and we should, therefore, use the word when discussing emotions.
We would probably be more comfortable with the word
subconscious, and will use it when talking about things below the
level of awareness other than the emotions.
The unconscious is subterranean, the realm of the hidden and
mysterious and the place where all sorts of feelings may reside,
not all logical, not all nice and some of them downright scary. We
get some hint of the kind of things that inhabit the unconscious
from our dreams. Someone said that every night when we go to
sleep we all go quietly and safely insane because that's when the
remnants of childish, primitive, wild behavior that are a part of
everyone#146;s emotional repertoire can show themselves without being
monitored by the waking, conscious mind. The unconscious is the
repository of all of our feelings, regardless of their social or personal acceptability. To know about the unconscious is extremely
important, for what goes on down there may be responsible for
those personality characteristics that drive us to behave as we do
when we#146;re awake#151;and the unconscious is where TMS and other
disorders like it originate.
It is an interesting fact that the overwhelming majority of
emotional and mental activity occurs below the level of
consciousness. The human mind is something like an iceberg -- the
part that we are aware of, the conscious mind, represents a very
small part of the total. It is in the subconscious mind that all of the complicated processing goes on that allows us, for example, to
generate written and oral language; to think, to reason, to remember;
in short, to do most of the things that identify us as human beings.
Our ability to make sense of the things we see, to recognize faces,
and dozens of other mental activities we take for granted are the
result of brain activity of which we are unaware.
It is likely that the majority of emotional reactions occur in the
unconscious. Feelings that remain there do so because they are
repressed and it is these that are responsible for the sequence of
events that causes TMS. This condition begins and ends in the
unconscious.
Incidentally, one should make a distinction, as Freud did a long
time ago, between mental items that are not conscious but which
can be brought to consciousness with effort, like the things in our
memories. Freud called that mental domain the preconscious
and things in the unconscious that are unavailable and cannot be
recalled. We simply don't know they are there.
To better understand how and why TMS gets started, it's
essential to look at some of these unconscious emotional processes. |
| stiwa |
Posted - 01/05/2013 : 16:02:40
Thanks for your reply, Shawn. I am not quite sure whether a change of focus is all that is necessary. Sometimes I think my focus is nowhere but internal. I guess if Jesus had known about TMS he would have said: be in the world, not in your head... |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 01/05/2013 : 14:40:59
quote:
Originally posted by shawnsmith
There is still something holding me back and I have not been able to get a full grasp of what that something is.
Shawn, what stressful life situations are you experiencing on the Rahe-Holmes list that are causing your TMS?
THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
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| Ace1 |
Posted - 01/05/2013 : 10:11:50
It's called repeating the keys to healing. It has like 23 points. I will bring it up to the top of the forum |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/05/2013 : 08:08:07
What list are you referring to? |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 01/05/2013 : 07:55:25
Dear Shawn, you do have to change. In my opinion and in my own recovery and in the recovery of the many people I have helped guide to that end it was essential. I spoke with dr Sarno's psychotherapist Arlene Feinblatt and she told me the part about not changing is not correct. Maybe this is why your still stuck. I want you to get better. I know you once said affirmations are not for you. Why don't you try them the way I have on my list of how to recover give it a few months and see if there is any improvement? What do you have to loose? I was in the same position as you until I started doing the things on that list and practicing with them. I think also challenging my pain was holding me back. Arlene once told me that the people who get better fast, that never get to see her, are so afraid that something is wrong with them and when they find out there is nothing wrong that's all it takes to get them better. I think in the difficult cases like myself and yourself a change in how intensely we do things is critical, and we need the development of a very important virtue which is patience. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 01/05/2013 : 07:11:45
quote:
Originally posted by stiwa
Hi Shawn,
have you found a way of reducing the pressure on yourself to get well?
Stiwa
From my understanding of Dr Sarno's work, I am note sure that reducing the pressure on oneself to achieve anything is the path to healing from TMS. It is, rather, the recognition that this is taking place internally which in turn is instrumental in producing symptoms. Once we recognize this, our focus of attention is internal and we are then in a position to dismiss attributing the symptoms to any physical origin. Does that make sense to you?
My problem, as I see it, is that I understand the process, having read all of Dr. Sarno's books and a few other TMS writers, but this has not brought about a full resolution to my symptoms. There is still something holding me back and I have not been able to get a full grasp of what that something is. If you were to see me and did not know me you would think I am fully functional with no TMS at all, but it is very much present. (In don't like to discuss symptoms as it is counter-productive for the purposes of this discussion board) I do understand the role of over-intellectualiztion as well as fear in perpetuating symptoms, and I am trying to overcome these two hurdles. |
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