| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| mchan |
Posted - 11/27/2012 : 05:38:25
I have not worked out in quite some time but the back on my thighs are burning like I have? Is this another TMS symptom? I have not been on in a few months because I am spending my time trying to heal but nothing has improved so far. My knee joint pain is getting worse and now I have burning in my upper hip, buttocks, and back of legs. I am quite sure I would get the fibro diagnosis if I went to the doctor with as many muscles that are hurting me for so long now. This is on top of the bladder disease which is enough to make you want to jump off a bridge. I hate how my body is turning against me because of what other people did to me in my past? This seems...unfair! I am meditating, and doing Dr. Shubiners work book, slowly though. I have 3 kids and finding uninterrupted time for me during the day is tough, but I take it where I can! I have read ALL the TMS books now and still keep going back and forth thinking I have a chronic infection because there is "no way" my body could do all this to me for no physical reason.. that is what I think anyway when things get severe. |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| mchan |
Posted - 07/24/2013 : 17:48:04
This is old but I had to come back and tell people, all my muscle pain and bladder pain got better following a low oxalate diet. I was having blood in my urine and my urologist gave me a test and it turns out I had a very high amount of oxalates. If you want to know more look up what they are, but I do not digest them correctly. I am totally pain free in my joints and muscles unless I eat chocolate or something high in oxalates. I do think TMS is real and I could still have issues with it but at least SOME of my symptoms were not TMS related. If anyone on here has IC Interstitial cystitis, that is not helped by TMS look into oxalates!
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Love Wins. |
| andy64tms |
Posted - 11/30/2012 : 10:10:26
Hi Mchan,
Actually I went to AA over a period of one month or so, I was so s**hit scared I’d end up like them. This is what did it for me. A pretty good investment, a few hours of mind changing therapy for 28 years of sobriety and happiness.
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Back on Wiki Edu Program day 15
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted later.)
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
| mchan |
Posted - 11/30/2012 : 08:43:51
Andy64tms: Congrats to you on conquering all that! I was “taught” there was no way to do it without AA or NA, and tried it many years ago but did not find it worked. I remember in rehab years ago them telling us the “cure” rate for addiction was only 2%, and that most of us would be back. Something did not sit right with me about that! Thank God they were totally wrong!
Balto: “Our goal should be to take back control of our mind, to make it think more about the good thing in life. To make it more positive, more compassionate toward ourself, more acceptance toward our problems. We need to make changes to the way we think or to our life so that we can achieve peace and happiness.” – good word!
..........................
Love Wins. |
| balto |
Posted - 11/29/2012 : 20:46:56
quote:
Originally posted by mchan
Balto: I have been on mission trips in Mexico and worked with sex slaves, I know and ponder how most of the world suffers much more than I have. I was never a "victim" willingly. I mean I did not choose to feel depressed and suicidal from the age of 5 and up, after the abuse with my father started. It was not a conscious choice I made to act as a victim or to be depressed about it. As I got older I did indeed try everything I could to be happy no matter what was in my past, and I do still to this day. I have rid myself of the depression finally, but now my body cries out. I am not sure why it does not for those women and those people who have been through so much more. This is actually a reason I doubt TMS at points. I have thought WHY can other people suffer SO much more than I and still not suffer in body like I am? Is a personality thing? My unconscious thoughts or rage about it? I mean do they not have rage about it in their culture? This is what leads me to believe my pain is a actual autoimmune, tissue disorder that is ONE theory of the bladder disease I have. I actually never thought about any of my abuse until a few years ago because I tried to leave it all in my past and move on, but the anxiety and depression forced me to look back. I do not think it’s healthy to stay there. I like the idea of affirmations to change the way my brain perceives the abuse. There is something to a loving environment though, no matter what culture you live in. Even though there is abuse, extreme in some cases in other cultures, there is more community focus. In America I feel we are all left to ourselves, there is something healing in living in community that I feel we lack here.
Love Wins.
hi Mchan, none of us willingly want to be a victic. We did it without realizing we're doing it. We did it by allowing our thoughts to just happen without any control from us. When our thought wander aimlessly or when our mind is allow to go free without any good guidance from us, it will automaticly focus on the worse, focus on the negatives, focus on the terrible past. Either God or evolution designed human to be like that in order to survive for million of years. Our goal should be to take back control of our mind, to make it think more about the good thing in life. To make it more positive, more compassionate toward ourself, more acceptance toward our problems. We need to make changes to the way we think or to our life so that we can achieve peace and happiness.
And you are very right about the important of community and social life. Human are herd animals. We need to be with other (understanding and positive) human being. We need to reach out to other, get involve more, open the door more... do thing that attract other positive, loving people into our live. Good emotional support from people we care about are powerful enough to help us overcome almost any emotional challenge in life.
There are many other tools out there that help us take back control of our mind. Meditation and yoga has been proven to help keep us calm and help prove to us that our mind can be control by us, we just need some practice. Positive affirmation and visuallization can help us see the good things in life and more readily embrace more peaceful thoughts.
Use all the tools that are available to you. They are there to help you conquer your fear and to show you that life is much more than just being a victim.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
| andy64tms |
Posted - 11/29/2012 : 13:25:15
Hi Mchan,
You wrote:
My last physical therapist described me as a very INTENSE person, so it’s a learned personality trait I acquired to survive. Can we change our innate personality traits?
Being intense can be looked upon by some as an asset, it means you are more focused than most. I think it is how this intensity affects you that matters. We become intense by taking on more than we can cope with and end up rushing, getting anxious, and then angry.
I would think it’s hard to change your basic “innate” personality, and why should you? You recognized that you are INTENSE, and actually wrote the word in Caps, some never admit it! I would pick one or two of Aces affirmations to become more relaxed throughout the whole day. On a practical level you could make lists, become a better planner to ease your hectic days. Of course the 1st lines on the list should be Aces affirmations, as to write them out makes them more concrete.
Mchan, like me I read you have overcome drugs, smoking, despair and separation. You have much past strength to reflect on, and you have much more inside, as you are stronger than you think. Hugs
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Back on Wiki Edu Program day 15
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted later.)
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
| eric watson |
Posted - 11/29/2012 : 05:37:48
keep doing the work/believe it with all your heart/never doubt-believe even while your doubting if you have to-ask questions-any thing- (if we have time to calm doun and relax,thats when were hit with tms)-(this explains the different countrys)-(but for us who live in the u.s., we have to desensitize like ace is saying-were a tensed nation-maybe from to much time to think)- its hard to explain belief/dont give up/never give up on this tms program-you will win and youll be on here just like me soon -saying the same thing-let the belief become a part of you |
| mchan |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 22:11:55
Balto: I have been on mission trips in Mexico and worked with sex slaves, I know and ponder how most of the world suffers much more than I have. I was never a "victim" willingly. I mean I did not choose to feel depressed and suicidal from the age of 5 and up, after the abuse with my father started. It was not a conscious choice I made to act as a victim or to be depressed about it. As I got older I did indeed try everything I could to be happy no matter what was in my past, and I do still to this day. I have rid myself of the depression finally, but now my body cries out. I am not sure why it does not for those women and those people who have been through so much more. This is actually a reason I doubt TMS at points. I have thought WHY can other people suffer SO much more than I and still not suffer in body like I am? Is a personality thing? My unconscious thoughts or rage about it? I mean do they not have rage about it in their culture? This is what leads me to believe my pain is a actual autoimmune, tissue disorder that is ONE theory of the bladder disease I have. I actually never thought about any of my abuse until a few years ago because I tried to leave it all in my past and move on, but the anxiety and depression forced me to look back. I do not think it’s healthy to stay there. I like the idea of affirmations to change the way my brain perceives the abuse. There is something to a loving environment though, no matter what culture you live in. Even though there is abuse, extreme in some cases in other cultures, there is more community focus. In America I feel we are all left to ourselves, there is something healing in living in community that I feel we lack here.
Love Wins. |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 19:27:29
Mchan, it is he affirmations that help us to accomplish the change in the ways we react, but they do take time to work. This is why I have said they are the most important part of my recovery. |
| balto |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 15:41:06
“People are disturbed not by a thing, but by their perception of a thing.”
Epictetus.
I think I'm agreed with Ace1, most of us can not change how we live our life or stop things from happening in our life. We just have to accept things as they come and change our perception toward them. Mchan sure has a very challenging and demanding life, but so are millions of people around the world.
I know of an old Korean lady who was a sex slave to the Japanese army in ww2. She survived the war, raise 6 kids on her own after her husband died from an accident when she was pregnant with her last kid. She raise the kids well and live a healthy life and passed away peacefully in her sleep at the age of 85.
I have seen countless of orphaned kids who had a very rough, traumatic young life in Vietnam, who grown up and became productive, happy, and healthy members of society.
It happened before in another post and I hope It doesn't happen again here. I'm not trivialize what mchan and others went through. I'm only trying to say that many of us have it tough but there are thousand have it much worse than we had. We can either be a victim for the rest of our life and blame our past for our problems or we can choose to rise above all and have a healthy, peaceful, and happy life. I know we can all do it. I know we as human are capable of achieving it. I have seen it done thousand and thousand of time. We are much more strong than we think. We human have survive million of years and rule the world not for being the strongest, we did it for being the creature with the most powerful mind. All we have to do is take control of it. Take control of our mind.
Refuse to fear, to affraid of any thing.
Do everything with ease, with calmness, with peace like Ace1 said.
proud of yourself mchan, you have done a wonderful job as a mom and wife. Your body, your health deserve some reward, and the best reward you can give yourself is having a peaceful and content mind. Feed your mind only good, positive thoughts. Elliminate everything negative from your mind as soon as it appear. It will take sometime but with practice, with perseverance you will be able to take back control of your mind. Don't let it wander aimlessly without guidance, if you do it only produce negative emotion.
I've spend a month in a small farming town in Northeast Thailand a few years ago. I saw the farmer working hard every day in the field. They raise many kids in house build from bamboo that have no running water or electric or indoor toilet. They have a rough life with no saving, not health insurance, no this and that... but they are always happy. They always have a smile on their face and they don't seem to have any tms/anxiety problem like we do here in the West.
I've seen the same with the factory workers in Vietnam, the garment workers in Bangladesh, the sugarcane farmers in brazil....
If they have so little and they can be healthy and happy, why can we?
We can, all we have to do is change our perception to things that happen to us.
Jesus got no house, no job, no health insurance, no nothing and he was still happy. He said:
"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
| mchan |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 13:37:00
ACE: I forgot to mention, My last physical therapist described me as a very INTENSE person.. so its a learned personality trait I acquired to survive. Can we change our innate personality traits? |
| mchan |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 13:32:19
I am grateful for your help, I did read your post ACE, I just need to do it. I am doing so much , I need to DO in the moment, I mean change my anxiety. It seems to rush up on its own, inwardly without though. Affirmations next on my list! |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 12:38:05
Ace1
I never understood much of your last message-- it was a bit confusing for me and a bit contradictory. But maybe I am reading you incorrectly so please forgive me for that. There are cases when people have to remove themselves from their immediate situation, but you are correct when you say most people people don't have to change anything about their lives or who they are as a person.
Just a little disagreement from me when you say, "I have cured many people." People actually cure themselves. |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 12:03:20
Dear shawn,
In my experience, the people who really heal, dont need to change their lives and just the mear recognition that your angry is not enough to change symptoms especially if they are as severe mchan's. She actually just needs to react differently on an internal level. It is good for her to recognize that she is reacting, bc alot of this is so habitual, it is easy to ignore or not be aware. After awareness there has to be a change. No more living on the edge or in fear, in a rush, or hyped up and anxious about whats happening. Just acting instead of reacting with intensity. I have cured many people and there is not one person with a lasting effect who didn't change what we are talking about here. Good luck to all |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 11:31:13
mchan
Your schedule and the many demands placed upon you would be enough to enrage the most patient person. You have a lot of people -- your children and husband, and only you know who else -- who are always taking from you and demanding that their needs be met, but no one is taking care of you. You are continually expected to jump when people want something from you and you are also expected to do it with a cheery disposition. What can be more enraging? You want to do the right thing and not complain (goodism) but inside you want to tell them all off and stop being so damn selfish and do things for themselves. It is hard to admit certain things about yourself that you don't see overly flattering, but in the end you are a human being with limitations.
I think also that you may feel a bit trapped and you had other hopes, dreams and aspirations for your life than what it is right now-- taking care of everyone else -- and that may be making you feel really resentful. Also, you look in the mirror and see that you are not getting any younger and, according to Dr. Sarno, aging is a BIG source of TMS as you don't like getting old and are afraid no one will be there to take care of you when you are no longer to take care of yourself..
Think about these things a bit, but in the meantime carry on with your life and don't freak out overt the symptoms, even though I know they can be rather distressing. |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 09:18:59
Dear Mchan, Your mind you can say is sensitized from all the abuse, and your history. I believe you have forgiven your offenders, but based on your story of how you are reacting to your day, it is very obvious what is causing your symptoms. You have learned to react to things that happen in life with more intensity than the average person based on how you were sensitized as a child. Therefore, you need to do thing now with more ease and relaxation. Use affirmations to help you achiev this goal when caught in similar situations in the future. Look at my keys to recovery. |
| Peregrinus |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 09:08:54
Birdie:
Thanks for sharing your story: It took a lot of courage to do that. You are a remarkable person. Sometimes we are able to completely suppress the anger or rage or disappointment we harbor for others. Nevertheless forgiving them and affirming that we are O.K. (as Ace1 instructs) can be of great benefit.
I hope things improve for you soon!
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| Birdie78 |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 08:48:29
Mchan: even if you don't feel so, I think you are a very, very strong person! I got some love from my aunt and my stepmother and - never the less - often really feel "lost in space". You rose yourself up without love and support and: YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, you survived! I knew people who didn't survive a childhood like yours. It would be great if you could use this engergy and power which kept you alive for healing! A few weeks ago I posted some questions about the feeling of inner emptiness and senselessness, don't know if you read it but would be interesting to me if you also ever experienced these feelings/"non-feelings"?
Shawnsmith: I didn't journal till now - I feel some kind of resistance. But I think the resistance shows me that I should do it! Thanx for the good advice!!!
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
| mchan |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 07:43:00
Shawnsmith: I REALLY needed to hear that this morning. I woke up at 6am WITHOUT PAIN, after a not so great night of sleep to wake up my teenager for school, made him breakfast and then my 4 and 5 year old get up at 6:30am as I tell them I need to drive my teenager to school and they need to stay with Daddy. I make my teenager breakfast that he drops on the ground on the way to the car, so he does not eat. I drive him to school 15 min away and then realize no one is there as we pull up, its late start day. School does not start for 1.5 hours. He proceeds to tell me he is hungry, but does not want fast food. So I frantically think of somewhere quick to take him because my husband needs me home by 7:20am to take him to the train for work. We find a Dominick’s and I RUN in to find him something as he causally walks far behind me and finally picks a sandwich. I drop him off at school early and then rush home to make it just in time for my husband. Its cold were I am, and I rush my little kids in the car without coats on to make it to the train. My kids start complaining on the way home that we have no pancakes left, we walk into house. And my hips begin hurting, and the underside of my right buttocks starts burning badly…..HMMMMM…Stress? So then in between making my kids breakfast they are not happy to eat, I start frantically searching online about muscle burning and pain and the first thing that pops up is fibromyalgia. I start touching all the points that hurt on my body, and then something had me close it and come on this site and read this. When you said this, “The symptoms are NOT NOT NOT a sign of anything being wrong with your body, even though you may be convinced otherwise due to the severity of your pains.” I almost cried. I need to hear that.
Eric: You said, “we have to remember the rage sooth ratio” Interesting because I stopped eating ALL sugars (fruit, honey, all grains) recently because I am having an elective surgery coming up that the doctor said it would be good for me to lose 5 pounds for” Also, I keep thinking that this diet will help my bladder and joint pain, because it has in the past. So, I have no soothing with food. I need to replace it with meditation I guess? Also though there is a part of my brain that thinks the diet will heal me…
tennis tom: I have had blood in my urine for years without infection or stones. Its very common with you have IC – the bladder disease I have because your bladder is inflamed. The TMS doc says for sure IC is TMS and I have found a few, but ONLY a few women who claim to be almost symptom free using mind body approaches.
Birdie 78: I totally agree. My bladder pain started at a very stressful time. It is hopeful for me to know cystitis stopped occurring. I have started a lot of work digging up my past and working though it, and things have gotten worse …it must be related but a part of my brain is screaming, NO its not! I have also had the post-traumatic-stress-disorder diagnosis but have not gone to any doctors about my muscle pain because I found this site. I have been contemplating it but its seems even if you get a diagnosis there is still no hope with western medicine. I just read your story of your life, Wow I am sorry that is rough. I do relate, my abusive father was alcoholic and died of a cocoaine overdose, some say he committed suicide, but no one will really tell me what happened. I raised myself, I had no love..no caring parents and no friends in school. I was neglected to the extreme as well and even though I have forgiven, it does not change the pain at this point. Early separation makes total sense for me.
Peregrinus : I have severe trauma, sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect, rape, emotional abuse all through my childhood. I have been in a lot of therapy through the years and have forgiven everyone, I can say that with 100% truth. I got my life together 7 years ago and I no longer suffer depression, but that is when all this chronic pain began. I always get frustrated when I hear about forgiveness, because I don’t know how else to do it other than the process I have done! I have no hard feelings, I pray for my abusers (one of them is my father and he is dead) and I really do believe I have forgiven.
Wavy Soul: Thank you that is a great testimony!
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| shawnsmith |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 05:20:02
Birdie78,
I encourage you to journal here or in private more on this topic and possible emotions surrounding this part of your life -- ie sense of loss, sense of betrayal of not being told who your real mother was, fear of similar things may happen to you, fear of not being truly loved and appreciated and the associated hurt that may bring. |
| Birdie78 |
Posted - 11/28/2012 : 02:29:39
What kind of trauma did you experience as a child? Have you tried to forgive those who you feel are responsible?
Peregrinus, my mother committed suicide after my birh, I stood a very long time at the hospital, then my aunt nursed me a few months. Then my father married again and I was taken away from my aunt which was my mom at this time. My steopmother did her very best and it wasn't all bad, there were good times, too because she wasn't able to get an own child and so she was very happy to have me. The biggest problem was my very alcoholic diseased father: was a mix between neglect and violence.
And because of the long time in hospital (about 4 months in my first year) and the loss of my mother and my aunt within the first year I refused physical contact most of the time but was also frightened to be alone (they called this hospitalism in former times). I always suffered from an extreme form of separation-fear. And fear of my father.
Well, if I tried to forgive my mother and my father?
There's one problem: I wasn't ever angry at them! So how can I forgive someone who I wasn't angry at?
My biological mother had a terrible childhood, was an alcoholic and mentally ill. So was (still is) my father. I always see them as victims and not as offenders. But I guess this leads and is still leading to lots of repressed anger...and there probably are lots of repressed grief and fear. I was never allowed to be sad because when I came to know about this wasn't my biological mum (was a big shock because I was told from a girl in my neigbourhood when I was 11) I was told there's no reason to be sad because babys don't get it what happens to them, they only want to sleep and to drink milk. HA HA! Ok, that's not really funny...
So I think I am a perfect proof of SteveO's therory that early separation is THE trigger for TMS.
Sorry, that was really offtopic now.
Kind regards from Germay sends Birdie |
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