| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 09/03/2008 : 15:52:09
I've posted a lot in the past about my mouth symptoms. I feel constant dryness in my mouth, but doctors say it's not dry. I feel constant difficulty speaking...it feels like my tongue is always twisted and I just can't get the words out. As a 19 year old college student this is hard to live with. I really have lost some confidence in myself and the only thing I think about all the time are these symptoms. It's nearly impossible to have a good time or make new relationships. Anyway, this has been with me 100% of the time with no breaks for 11 months. I know all about TMS and I've read claire weeks. I've talked to a counselor about this, i've talked to my parents, and all of you. The answer I get time and again is; this will go away, it will go away when I move on. It will go away when I don't care about it. It will go away when I stop thinking about it. This is how everything works; you get a bad cut somewhere and it hurts bad, it's all you can think about for days, then it leaves you and so it leaves your mind. You never think of it again and you didn't even realize the obsession has left you. My dilemma is different though; my "cut" won't leave. It will be there physically until I change mentally...well i've been trying to change mentally for 11 months and this thing is still killing me.
What should I do? I'm scared that this will take another year of my life and make it hell just as quickly and easily as it took the first. I'm young and want to enjoy these years. Can a psychologist help me get to where I have to be, I feel like i'll just be locked in this fear-symptom cycle forever. It sucks. |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 09/11/2008 : 09:04:22
these are all success stories: I'm down a bit on the first page.http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/forum.asp?FORUM_ID=4 |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 18:43:46
Mizlorinj,
I'm going to your profile but I can't find how to get to your detailed bio. |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 09/10/2008 : 08:11:22
John: pls read my success story for full details. Summary: I was unable to get out of bed for at least a month with the pain I had; it had gradually come on and then it overtook me. I could not stand or sit. I was presented with the surgery option. Fear took over. Learned of Dr. Sarno. Read books. I saw Dr. Sarno January 3, 2006 (laid on the floor of his office--could not sit). I went back to work for 2 days the week of January 16th. Figured I'd ease back in to 5 days. Didn't need to. Following week I worked 40 hours easily. I accepted my brain was doing this and wrote and wrote and wrote. Filled spiral-bound notebooks. Also important to read the treatment plan EVERY DAY for at least a month (it's in TDM). yes, seems redundant after a couple times, but do it anyway because it takes a bit to sink into your brain. After reading the books and all, I was sure I had TMS so I knew the pain would go away. And it did. I detailed some of the actual recovery moments (sitting in car! yay!) in successstories.
He ends his lecture with "the pain is a gift" and I probably laughed at the time, but now I see it is true because we are being told "look at something you are thinking or doing!" I have read book after book by now and am convinced most (one book says 95%!) ailments are mind/body disorders (TMS equivalents--I don't use that term much anymore). I'm on The Power of Positive Thinking right now--an oldie but a goodie.
You asked about a relapse. A few months after my miraculous recovery I was thrown into an ugly situation at work and IMMEDIATLY had butt pain! Wow. But I knew why it was happening. I went home and freaked out, cried, screamed, cursed (wasn't allowed to do that as a kid) WHY WHY WHY, did writing--I had to. Not about the pain, about the situation at work. Pain went away. Situation changed, I accepted it. I do occasionally get a pain or weird feeling, but I take out the 2 books I mentioned earlier and work with those suggestions. Or sometimes I can easily relate it to a situation: headache last weekend--son pressuring me about something. I firmly but kindly told him NO and felt total relief.
If anyone reading this is not writing about your situations/feelings, etc. I encourage you to do it NOW.
Hugs,
-Lori |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 18:08:42
Oh ok, thank you. I'm guessing you know what I was thinking. I was immediatly frightened that It was still with you on a daily basis. Thanks for clearing this up. |
| winnieboo |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 14:43:02
Hi J,
It's absolutely normal. Doesn't bother me at all. As mentioned in my previous post, dry mouth comes upon me only once in awhile (three times a year, maybe), usually when I have a new client. I carry chewing gum, water and I remind myself that what's happening is nerves. Once I start interacting and focusing on what my clients have to say, I'm fine and have no trouble speaking. Honestly, it would never have entered my mind that it still happens, unless I read your posts. So, it's absolutely not an issue or problem or even a tiny part of my life. |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 11:32:55
Winniepoo,
Thankyou for the advice. How is your mouth now compared to the way it was in college? Does it still bother you? Does it make it difficult for you to speak?
Thank you,
John |
| winnieboo |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 10:24:16
Hi J,
I don't know if this will help but your symptoms are familiar to me. I had dry mouth in college (very long ago!), mostly when I had to speak in class, meet new people, etc. So, I had dry mouth a lot! It still happens to me occasionally when I meet a new client for work. I travel with a bottle of water and do a lot of sipping! When it comes upon me, I know that I am anxious. For me, it's social anxiety. Will I make a good impression, will I be liked, etc.
Additionally I wanted to share a story that I hope will help to normalize your situation and underlying feelings in some way. My son moved to to college very recently. He's a confident, smart athlete who appears to be totally together and control (and he is, and I'm sure you are, too!). But, right around HS graduation he developed this syndrome, for lack of a better word, where suddenly he would gag and throw up. It usually happened when he was eating, but not always. He was angry at first, wondering what was going on, and we all grew increasingly bewildered the second and third time it happened. During the summer he saw two doctors and was tested. They found nothing.
So, the night before he moved, I cooked his favorite dinner and he came to table and said "I think I figured it out. I think it's anxiety. And I'm really not hungry!" He couldn't eat then or the day we traveled and moved, and it took some time before his stomach calmed down. But it did. He had connected his stomach "incidents" to the prom, college orientation, a fight with his girlfriend, and most recently, getting ready to move his life out of the family house.
John, your symptoms will DEFINITELY go away but "trying to change" will not help. This will only lead to more frustration. Rather, you must allow yourself to put your symptoms aside to look at what emotions are causing this.
So, please be kind to yourself. Know that you are not alone. As Lori suggests, try to uncover and look at the feelings you have about college and I would add, about becoming an adult. Stepping out of a comfort zone toward greater independence is a huge transition.
Therapy can help to uncover and explore the emotions that you are ignoring in favor of focusing on your symptoms. You will find that as you begin to address what you are going through (regarding college, relationships, your academics, job, whatever), THAT'S when your physical discomfort will either quickly or gradually go away. Good luck; you will get there. |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 09:29:35
Thankyou Mizlorinj,
I will definately do the journaling you have suggested. Your right, I'm lucky to be able to relate an event directly to the onset of the symptom, and I should use this.
I read your profile and it says you are free of pain now...that's great! Good for you. How long did you have the pain, and how much did it bother you? Did it often times feel like It would never go away? How did it fade away...did you notice it leaving you or did you wake up one day and say "wow I haven't felt or even thought about that pain for weeks."? How does it feel now after it's gone, was there any kind of symptom imperative? Do you feel better now than you ever could have without this TMS battle?
Sorry about all the questions but it's so refreshing to hear that the symptoms do actually disappear. I'm very happy for your success and hope I will be where you are soon. |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 08:10:35
How about delving into your feelings about moving away to college since this all started with that event. Sit and write at the top of a paper: moving away from home to college. maybe put pros and cons. Or start with the moving away part--miss parents, miss  . . . to college: freedom but more responsibility, studying a lot, tests, have to make new friends. . . And just see where it takes you. Be specific. Don't be quick to dismiss anything that comes to your mind. Are you afraid? angry? (be specific: I feel afraid that . . .) Are you pursuing what you really want to do? Do you now feel pressure to "grow up"? (just throwing some ideas out there. . . )
I can see how this would be fear of stepping out of your comfort zone. Try the other ideas I mentioned earlier too and see where writing that one or two words may take you. Ask How am I set in my opinion or how am I closed minded. Play with this and see what happens. You may get a revelation!
John, one way you are FORTUNATE is that you can link the event with the condition you've had since the event!  That is a gift!
Both are books are great. Louise's theme is always CHANGE YOUR THINKING, CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I think any book that reinforces that your condition is due to your emotions is helpful. I seem to find an endless stream of books since my back issue in Jan 07. And I learn of each next book because it is referenced in the one I am currently reading. I love it! So I don't go looking for these books, the next one presents itself easily to me! I am very grateful!
I also have re-learned the value of spirituality, so may I suggest you try PRAYING for some insight that may help you. Or praying that you be able to get on with your life for as long as it takes you to resolve this physical issue.
And BALANCE! Have FUN doing things you enjoy!
Lots of ideas! Best wishes to you John.
-Lori
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| johnaccardi |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 06:55:17
Miz.
To answer your question I'm not taking prescriptions of any kind.
Those mouth problem references you posted I can definately relate to. This came about when I moved away to college. |
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 06:48:33
Thankyou,
Do you suggest I read these? It feels good to keep reading reassuring books and getting replies on this forum, but it really hasn't gotten me very far and it seems that I have to "let go." Would part of letting go be not reading these books? |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 09/09/2008 : 06:21:28
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
and
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman
|
| johnaccardi |
Posted - 09/08/2008 : 22:51:52
mizlorinj,
What are these book references you speak of? |
| scottjmurray |
Posted - 09/06/2008 : 19:32:25
we can all learn a hell of a lot from fight club i think.
---
i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne. |
| swmr1 |
Posted - 09/06/2008 : 10:44:59
quote:
ever seen fight club?
there's this part in it where tyler and jack are in the car on the freeway in the rain at night. tyler let's go of the wheel and jack starts flipping out about how they're going to get in an accident or whatever. jack is all grabbing the wheel and sh-t. tyler slaps jack and says
"look at you, you're f-ckin' pathetic! stop trying to control everything and JUST. LET. GO!"
so jack buckles up finally and lets tyler floor the pedal. long story short they flip over an embankment or something like that and get all scratched up but they end up fine.
the moral of the story is the more you try to control and fix everything the further you dig yourself into a big neurotic hole. i'm tyler. you're jack.
there's nothing wrong with you. there's nothing wrong with your mouth. there is nothing wrong with the world outside. there is nothing wrong period. the world is what it is, sucky, good, bad, whatever. these are just labels. so stop trying to get everything right and JUST LET GO.
I love that movie. I need to listen to that advice more. I did "just let go" this morning. I've had a mild case of tendonitis the past few days but I went ahead and ran a 5k race this morning. I planned on running conservatively but decided to test myself as I got going. We'll see if I pay some kind of price later. All I know is that it was fun! |
| mizlorinj |
Posted - 09/06/2008 : 10:42:04
Good points about therapists; yes I do know some who have their own therapist. But I don't think that means they couldn't be helpful. JohnA, you need someone who believes in the mindbody connection. And someone with whom you are comfortable.
I recall in Robert Holden's Happiness Now book--he's a psyD, he said the first few years of schooling were so depressing learning about every mental issue people have--he said many developed the symptoms they were studying about! How's that for "getting what you focus on?" LOL
JohnA: I checked 2 of my reference books that talk about mouth problems and one says: set opinions, closed mind, incapacity to take in new ideas. The other says: Resistant to change, fear of stepping out of comfort zone. Is it possible some of this resonates for you? Food for thought.
I do agree with JohnD about the pathway website. That program taught me the method of journaling I use, and the program changed my life in so many ways. I am truly grateful for having learned of it a few years back by accident--or was it not by accident!
I feel sad you are still having this issue. I also wonder if there is something you want to say to someone that you have not, or are afraid to.
I also suggest finding activities that bring you joy to balance whatever perceived negatives you experience. No matter how big or small they seem: some of my faves are: a walk outside in a nature preserve, swimming, blueberry pancakes with real maple syrup, reading my upbuilding books, soaking in some sun, looking at photos of my son (at all ages), admiring my clean (but not new) car, drying my pillowcases outside on a clothes line so they smell fresh.
Best wishes for healing, young man!
-Lori
PS: John, are you taking supplements or prescriptions of any kind? |
| JohnD |
Posted - 09/06/2008 : 05:57:37
Acl - To be frank - most of the population doesn't know too much about themselves psychologically, and therapists fall into this category too. Most of the therapists that myself and trusted friends have come across are good hearted people that got into the field for the need to fix themselves. Outside of my and others personal experience, therapists aren't required to deal with their own issues through their formal education, and even if that were the case, most of the traditional ways of dealing with emotional and pyschological problems are not too effective. Yes it is a challenge to find someone you work well with, and on top of that who buys the mindbody stuff, and in my opinion it is not worth John's time to work with someone like this that can't relate to what he is going through and therefore probably can't help him too much. He would be better off doing nothing than to spend healing time with someone who can't help him, and if they were particularly uneducated about themself they could potentially throw him deeper into his problem. Thats why it is important to be selective to find the right program, person, therapist, mentor etc... that is helpful to the individual, and there are some great programs and people out that one would never know about if they foreclosed on the average therapist or traditional psychological program. Generally speaking, It is paramount to be selective about the people that you spend time with, not even to mention people that you intend on forming a healing relationship with. |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 09/05/2008 : 20:27:21
quote:
the average therapist hasn't worked through their own issues
JohnD, I think this is an overgeneralization of a substantial order. Many modern therapy training programs require the therapist to be in therapy to address their own issues before working with clients. My therapist has referenced her own therapy a few times.
The situation certainly isn't unheard of, and aside from that it can be a challenge to find someone you work well with regardless of how resolved they are, and it can be a challenge to find someone who buys the mindbody stuff on top of that, but I don't think you can truthfully and knowledgeably assert "the average therapist hasn't resolved their own issues."
--
What were you expecting? |
| JohnD |
Posted - 09/05/2008 : 20:17:42
John,
From reading your post, I really think you need much more support in the form of humans, not books, or atleast mainly humans as opposed to mainly books. If what you are doing isn't working and is affecting your life so drastically as you say, then its time to step it up.
Developmental Skills Training (www.thepathway.org) is a great program that may be helpful, or there may be something else too like a great therapist. You should try to find someone exceptional, not just your average therapist, because the average therapist hasn't worked through their own issues and therefore can't relate to having something such as TMS because they are so far removed from what they need for themselves. And if they haven't climbed the ladder of humanity, atleast somewhat, in their own life....then chances are they won't be helpful to you or me or anyone else when dealing with an issue of any type of magnitude. Don't decide how good the therapist is based on their credentials or education....go by how you feel in their presence, and how helpful they are to you.
Do whatever it takes to help yourself, you are worth it.
Take care,
John |
| scottjmurray |
Posted - 09/05/2008 : 18:35:20
quote:
well i've been trying to change mentally for 11 months and this thing is still killing me.
change doesn't come by trying. change comes by letting go. trying is something neurotic people do because at some point in their lives they were traumatized into thinking everything about them and the world around them is horribly wrong. they're always trying to fix crap. i was and still am one of these people.
ever seen fight club?
there's this part in it where tyler and jack are in the car on the freeway in the rain at night. tyler let's go of the wheel and jack starts flipping out about how they're going to get in an accident or whatever. jack is all grabbing the wheel and sh-t. tyler slaps jack and says
"look at you, you're f-ckin' pathetic! stop trying to control everything and JUST. LET. GO!"
so jack buckles up finally and lets tyler floor the pedal. long story short they flip over an embankment or something like that and get all scratched up but they end up fine.
the moral of the story is the more you try to control and fix everything the further you dig yourself into a big neurotic hole. i'm tyler. you're jack.
there's nothing wrong with you. there's nothing wrong with your mouth. there is nothing wrong with the world outside. there is nothing wrong period. the world is what it is, sucky, good, bad, whatever. these are just labels. so stop trying to get everything right and JUST LET GO.
---
i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne. |
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