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Screensize: 640 x 480 800 x 600 1024 x 768 1280 x 1024 UserName: Password: Format Mode: Basic  Help  Prompt  Format: Font Andale Mono Arial Arial Black Book Antiqua Century Gothic Comic Sans MS Courier New Georgia Impact Lucida Console Script MT Bold Stencil Tahoma Times New Roman Trebuchet MS Verdana   Size 1 2 3 4 5 6   Color Black Red Yellow Pink Green Orange Purple Blue Beige Brown Teal Navy Maroon LimeGreen Message: * HTML is OFF * Forum Code is ON Smilies [quote][i]Originally posted by Wavy Soul[/i] [br]Just wanted to give an update. This whole approach is continuing to be very true for me. Yet I have been having some uncontrollably difficult symptoms recently, which seem directly related to my family members getting old and sick. I'm traveling back to England tomorrow (I'm an ex-pat, been in States for 35 years) for 3 day quick trip this week to visit my mom. The last time I saw her - and soon after found out my sister had cancer - was so intense that I developed some quite serious illness which has been going on for 5 months. Not exactly "TMS," in that it involved dangerous bleeding, infections, viruses, etc. But clearly on some level similar to TMS, directly connected to what I'm feeling as my mum descends into dementia at 89, and my sis has cancer. I don't think this illness was exactly a distraction. I'm journaling, feeling it some, keeping going with life, etc. It feels more to me like my body's way of processing some old stuff that I have been quite aware is moving through me. Memories of intense abuse from my sister. Prior to that, similar with my mother. Now they are vulnerable and perhaps dying. I'm the only healthy remaining family member, doing my best to hold some space. But I've been living far far away for most of my life, for a reason. Anyway, I'm going for a quick visit, because my mum is missing me so much, is so lonely at the end of her life. Wants to live alone. Doesn't want help. Just wants me and my sister to tend to her, but because of history, we're not emotionally drawn to do so - just through duty, which wears thin. I'm a bit anxious about going. In fact I'm only going because I am better enough to make the trip, but since I booked it 2 days ago, I've been dizzy and tired and achey... Wish me luck. No - I don't exactly need luck. Send me love. Thanks xx Love is the answer, whatever the question [/quote]   Check here to include your profile signature.