| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 05/19/2007 : 21:29:07
Are you a Perfectionist? Take the test online
http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/perfectionism_abridged_access.html
I scored 84 which means:
"According to this test, you are bound by the cuffs of perfectionism. You set impossibly high standards that can never be met; either you impose those expectations on yourself, others, or a combination of the two. You may even believe that others expect you to be perfect. Whatever the case, this tendency is most likely making you suffer needlessly - whether you realize it or not. It's time that you became aware of your perfectionist side and work on toning it down. While a desire to succeed and strive to reach your full potential can bring you personal fulfillment, you also have to learn when good is 'good enough'. It's important that you develop the ability to distinguish between reasonable aspirations or goals and unreasonable demands. When you set unattainable objectives, you are being cruel to yourself and denying yourself the rewards and self-acceptance that you deserve."
*******
Sarno-ize it!
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| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| spiritcloud |
Posted - 05/29/2007 : 10:15:29
73
I know chronic pain and having children has mellowed me way out from where I was a few years ago. I can even write now without erasing and redoing the messy letters... But I tell ya, erfectionism definitely is a stumbling block for a guy who loves art and writing. I was really getting into drawing portraits. Was steadily improving--then I mangled one. I haven't been able to do one since. I've tried to start several times, but I must have that fear that I can't do it anymore. Someone told me once that there's really no difference between perfectionism and OCD. I'm not sure I disagree. It fits the basic rules.
Anywho...
I'm too much of a "goodist" to expect perfection from my spouse and kids. Lucky them? Nah. Lucky me. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 05/28/2007 : 05:18:42
Perfectionism: Ring the Bells
Therese J. Borchard
http://www.beliefnet.com/blogs/beyondblue/2007/05/perfectionism-ring-bells.html
I recently dragged my kids to Baltimore so that I could have lunch with an old colleague (he's young...but we've known each other for 13 years) at the National Catholic Education Association convention. A gifted writer and speaker, my friend can get his audience to laugh right after they've cried.
As my Katherine and David grabbed his pieces of watermelon off his plate after rolling in the aisles of the publishers' exhibit, he described his process of becoming comfortable in front of a large group of people who expect him to inspire them and say something spiritual that they can take home in their tote bags.
The next day I sent him an e-mail thanking him for our time together and for sharing his gifts with the world--even though that's, at times, a struggle for him.
"I'm glad, too, that I am giving what I have to the world, and I'm glad you are too," he replied. "I held back a long while--typically out of fear of being unworthy. A while back I came across the Leonard Cohen lyrics to 'Anthem' and have kept the refrain printed out and taped to my computer ever since then. It goes,
Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in."
I could relate so well to what he was saying, and to the words of the song.
If creativity (and recovery) were flights anywhere in the continental U.S., perfectionism would be the TSA employees at security stations in the airport investigating your tubes of mascara and toothpaste to make sure boarding those flights were as difficult as possible.
Perfectionism is like an untreated person with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) who gets stuck analyzing a lady bug on a blade of grass--unable to determine what shade of brown its dots are--instead of appreciating the view of a spectacular rose garden she's in.
In other words, perfectionism is a bastard. Like practically every other depressive I know (read the message board of my "We Didn't Do Our Best" post), it can cripple my efforts to live freely and happily (not to mention plaguing me with writer's block). Left unattended, perfectionism will build a prison around me so that every shot at expressing myself is thwarted by fear of not getting it right.
"Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. It is a loop--an obsessive, debilitating closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are writing or painting or making and to lose sight of the whole," writes Julia Cameron in "The Artist's Way." "Instead of creating freely and allowing errors to reveal themselves later as insights, we often get mired in getting the details right. We correct our originality into a uniformity that lacks passion and spontaneity. 'Do not fear mistakes,' Miles David told us. 'There are none.'"
Beyond Blue has been an important exercise for me to tackle my perfectionism. When your contract stipulates you need to write two to four posts a day, you can't afford to waste time and make each of them perfect. And my editor reminds me regularly to write from wherever I am, which is about as far from perfect as the U.S. is to New Zealand.
So I regurgitate a recent conversation I overheard, or an e-mail from a friend (like the one above), or a passage I just read from a book. Sometimes I reread the archives and cringe at the awkwardness in my phrasing, the crude content of a post. But then I remember what David Burns, M.D. wrote in "Ten Days to Self Esteem" about perfectionism:
"Our vulnerabilities and flaws--and not our successes and strengths--ultimately make us lovable and human. People can be admired or resented--but never loved--for their successes and and achievements.... Our 'brokenness' is essential to being human. Our failures and moments of despair can sometimes be our greatest opportunities for growth, for intimacy, for spiritual awareness, and for self-acceptance."
Then he reiterates what Paul says in the Second Corinthians, after he begs God to remove the thorn in his flesh, that "strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). As inconvenient and bothersome as it is, our brokenness actually provides the path to beauty and strength.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Do you have a pain-prone personality?
http://www.bradyinstitute.com/aboutBook/painProne.asp |
| Stryder |
Posted - 05/28/2007 : 00:01:18
Scored a 65. I guess I'm 2/3 of the way there. -Stryder |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 05/22/2007 : 10:47:25
Hugged a tree, I've even made love to a tree, but only females ones, it was part of of a Kundalini Yoga weekend in Santa Cruz.
Some of my favorite excerpts from " THE DIVIDED MIND " :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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| shawnsmith |
Posted - 05/22/2007 : 06:47:40
TT
If you have not hugged a tree in awhile or called for the release of Mumia Abu Jamal then you may not really be a goodist. Sorry....
*******
Sarno-ize it!
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| tennis tom |
Posted - 05/22/2007 : 01:02:02
Shawn,
When do we get to take the "Are You a Goodist?" on-line test? I can hardly wait. I am practicing acts of non-goodism daily in anxious preparation.
Regards,
tt
Some of my favorite excerpts from " THE DIVIDED MIND " :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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| shawnsmith |
Posted - 05/21/2007 : 20:30:09
quote:
Originally posted by Gecco
the test is totally subjective and the questions are difficult to answer honestly. Extreme results may provide an indication that further research is neccessary
don't take these 15 question online tests seriously
Gecco, please read my earlier comments regarding the test. It is meant to be used as a tool to think about these issues and not as a definitive answer to your personality type. Academic eggheads hung up on methodology questions are the worst kind of perfectionists. Sigh.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
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| Gecco |
Posted - 05/21/2007 : 20:23:07
the test is totally subjective and the questions are difficult to answer honestly. Extreme results may provide an indication that further research is neccessary
don't take these 15 question online tests seriously |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 05/21/2007 : 15:18:23
I was amused by how pleased I was not to be labeled an extreme perfectionist -- perfectionism about not being a perfectionist, how ironic. I've mellowed a bit recently, I guess.
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| momtoone |
Posted - 05/21/2007 : 12:16:44
I scored 91. I hate being a perfectionist, I really do, but I have trouble letting go. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 05/21/2007 : 08:38:44
The test is only meant to provide indicators and not final answers. The questions and responce help to point us in a particular direction. Don't concentrate on your score- as that is missing the point- but concentrate on the questions and how you answered them. Journal about your responce to each separate question and seek out possible explanations regarding why you answered the way you did. Some people have actually scored low and yet be the most fanantic perfectionist but because they did not want to admit that about themselves they answered the questions a certain way. It is obovious that one of the flaws of the test is that the questions are leading and also that those who checked off the first choice in the multiple choice questions will score higher. It could be that unconsciously many taking this test picked up on that immediatley and purposely chose the last choice on the question to ensure a low score and then use that to deny their perfectionistic tendencies. This would then be used by the brain to further make one doubt the validity of Dr Sarno says regarding the link between perfectionism and TMS symptoms. The brain is clever indeed.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
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| SwissMike |
Posted - 05/21/2007 : 08:26:31
72, damn online tests.  |
| Woodchuck |
Posted - 05/21/2007 : 05:36:09
quote:
Originally posted by shawnsmith
Are you a Perfectionist? Take the test online
http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/perfectionism_abridged_access.html
Scored 44. Maybe it's accurate, but it seems to me it might be better to have a few more questions. 15 is a pretty small number of questions.
Woodchuck |
| ndb |
Posted - 05/20/2007 : 21:54:10
quote:
Originally posted by shawnsmith
quote:
Originally posted by ndb
I guess its a perfectionistic tendency to want to score high on every test :)
As for myself, I don't think I would agree with that statement as I was actually expecting to score low. I honestly do not see myself as perfectionistic, but my high score would seem to point to another reality.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Not talking about you or anyone in particular, but I think some of us are happy when we see a high score -- I think I was. For me at least, I'm wondering if its because a high score means great!, its not my fault I'm miserable all the time -- I'm a PERFECTIONIST!
Just throwin' a thought out. |
| electraglideman |
Posted - 05/20/2007 : 20:47:26
84, Damn! |
| alexis |
Posted - 05/20/2007 : 20:34:41
That was interesting (hey, those things are always kind of fun).
I had a mid-range score, but what was interesting was seeing how I got there. I don't expect anything like perfection of friends or family, expect just a moderate level from co-workers, but set much higher standards for myself.
While I already knew this, it's still good to have a reminder and put my own expectations for myself in perspective. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 05/20/2007 : 19:32:19
quote:
Originally posted by ndb
I guess its a perfectionistic tendency to want to score high on every test :)
As for myself, I don't think I would agree with that statement as I was actually expecting to score low. I honestly do not see myself as perfectionistic, but my high score would seem to point to another reality.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
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| shawnsmith |
Posted - 05/20/2007 : 19:30:18
Agreed the test is simplisitic, as was previously stated, nevertheless it got you to ask questions about yourself that you amy have not considered before. I have 20 questions that I can now journal about.....
*******
Sarno-ize it!
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| ndb |
Posted - 05/20/2007 : 19:29:43
I guess its a perfectionistic tendency to want to score high on every test :) |
| NW Julie |
Posted - 05/20/2007 : 18:15:08
I scored pretty low as well.....so, am I a perfectionist or not? I think the concept of perfectionism goes well beyond the "if I make a mistake do I beat myself up?" There are subtleties to the notion of failure and success i.e. thinking you should be doing more in the realms of the spiritual and charitable, wondering if you're a good enough mother, on and on... I think the test is a bit simplistic. |
