| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| atg |
Posted - 12/26/2005 : 23:28:01
Hi I was diagnosed with TMS by Dr. Schechter a couple months ago. Although I have journaled, etc. I have had no improvement. I have pain in my lower back whenever I sit. I stopped using the back support cushion 3 weeks ago, and I have to say, it hurts a lot more without it. It is hard for me to believe that it is just placebo alone.
Driving is very painful (especially w/o the cushion) and tomorrow I am going to drive up to san francisco (from L.A.) for the sole reason of countering the fear of back pain.
Anyway, after several days of positive thinking with no improvement, I tend to fall back to the "maybe it is a structural problem" mindset. Afterall, since the original spasm, there has been no wavering, it is not worse when I am stressed (or less painful when I am on vacation), it has not moved around, etc. So I have been given no direct evidence that it is tied to my emotions/self-esteem, etc. It seems to be an excercise in faith.
One thing I tend to go back to is that after getting an epidural injection, for 6-8 weeks I had about a 50% improvement. Dr. Schechter told me that most people with TMS do not improve w/ an epidural. I want to believe 100% that I have TMS, and that is one fact that bothers me. Have others on here had a reduction of pain after an epidural shot, despite TMS being the cause of the pain? Even Dr. Sarno says that "steroids will reduce or banish the symptoms of TMS temporarily in many patients." Have other TMS sufferers on this board had this experience?
Thanks,
Alan |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Hilary |
Posted - 02/01/2006 : 10:44:38
quote:
Originally posted by atg
Dr. Schechter told me that most people with TMS do not improve w/ an epidural.
Hi Alan,
Do not underestimate the brain's cleverness. This would be a great opportunity for your brain to totally freak you out by "disproving" TMS. Your mind is churning this around right now, adding 2 and 2 and coming up with 15. |
| Dave |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 14:58:05
Nobody is "kicked off" this message board unless they habitually violate the policy.
Jill, your mind is clouded right now. You are continually defensive and adversarial. Either you don't understand what people are trying to say, or you disregard these words and substitute your own fantasies. It's too bad you can't see it, and accept that this behavior is in itself a distraction, serving the same purpose as your physical symptoms.
Perhaps you're just not ready yet. Anger and frustration are incompatible with the healing process. I'm not sure what you're looking for on this forum, but I don't think you will find it. |
| jilly_girl |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 12:54:58
the powers that be can certainly kick me off if they choose. many here seem to want only positive posts and "hooray dr sarno" NO questions asked. that simply isnt the reality some of us live with. having read the book and believing that i do have TMS hasnt removed my pain. that annoys some. tough. the point of a message board is to discuss an issue, both the positive and negative points of it. at least on most message boards. evidently here it isnt. you want only positive things said even if that is not the truth. good luck on getting people to hear you about TMS with that approach!
Jill |
| truenorth |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 11:14:44
I find jilly girl to be negative and a real drag on this board.
I for one think she should be kicked off, ASAP. She's clearly looking for trouble.
This board has been such an asset to me personally, and to many people. She clearly does not belong here.
Just one person's opinion |
| ralphyde |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 11:13:04
Jill,
You say you believe you have TMS, but I've noticed many posts where you modify Dr. Sarno's advice so that you don't have to follow it. For example, massage, which he says will just postpone your healing, and you rationalize that it's okay to feel the pleasure of it.
You don't seem to really grasp his meanings, and you modify them to suit you (your TMS). It's like an alcoholic who thinks, "well, just a little sip can't hurt."
Then you reject the solid advice of Dave who speaks directly and truthfully about TMS, with the most clarity of anyone here, and accuse him of attacking you, when he's trying very hard to help you see the light.
I sympathize with your loss of your Mom (I lost mine when I was 11, and it has affected my whole life), and I wish you a good recovery, but attitude is everything in dealing with TMS.
Best, Ralph |
| jilly_girl |
Posted - 01/31/2006 : 07:01:37
you are nuts.
Jill |
| Dave |
Posted - 01/30/2006 : 21:15:28
quote:
Originally posted by jilly_girl
...obviously neither one of you is in any shape to give it...
Unfortunately, it is you who is in no shape to receive it.
I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. |
| yowire |
Posted - 01/30/2006 : 18:51:04
To Jilly_girl,
I think that my own TMS story may shed some light on yours.
Right after I finished school my Mother died. Not only did I have to deal with intense grief but I had no chance whatsoever to recover because now that school was over, I needed to get out and find a job and start a whole new life. I now had to be an adult. Within a few weeks I came down with a virus that just would not go away. It became what was known as chronic fatigue syndrome and lasted for year after miserable year.
I've learned from Dr. Sarno that there is a primitive child in the unconscious mind of each of us that does not want the pressures of adult life. It becomes enraged at the impositions that this new stage in our lives presents. I am just beginning to get in touch with the intense internal anger that I had at the loss of my Mother and subsequently being thrust into adult life when I really didn't want to be. In order to keep this primitive child's rage repressed, the brain initiates symptoms.
I get the sense from your posts that you are going through a similar situation. However, I don't get the sense that you are acknowledging this internal anger just as I did not during that time. I thought I had a mystery virus and my emotions became caught up completely in it.
Your posts carry the feeling of a child that does not want to be an adult. You have been given adult advice from adults and have reacted like a rebellious child. I believe this could be a reflection of what is really going on in your unconscious.
Yowire |
| jilly_girl |
Posted - 01/30/2006 : 10:05:23
dave thats true. sometimes you dont see yourself. so let me express my emotions where you can understand them. baseball, you can piss off. so can you dave. i was never interested in "woe is me" stories or sympathy. what i would like is my leg and butt to quit hurting and I was looking for ideas to help. obviously neither one of you is in any shape to give it.
Jill |
| Dave |
Posted - 01/30/2006 : 09:39:53
Jill, if you were to read all of your messages on this forum from a completely impartial perspective, maybe you would get some idea of what people are talking about.
There is no denying the fact that your posts are often defensive, that you read negative emotion into messages where none was intended, and that you are very sensitive.
This is certainly understandable given what you are experiencing right now. However, instead of being so defensive and jumping down people's throats, you should take a deep breath and realize that the instinct to do just that is, in a way, a TMS equivalent. The conscious negativity and anger covers up deeper emotions that you are avoiding.
We've had many members who come here looking for sympathy and get upset when people respond matter of factly, without worrying about "being nice." This is not one of those forums where sufferers get together and exchange "woe is me" stories. This forum is more about acquiring the knowledge and confidence needed to beat TMS. It starts with being honest with yourself and acknowledging your true feelings.
Sometimes we just don't see ourselves... |
| jilly_girl |
Posted - 01/30/2006 : 06:53:46
scotty, i wasnt talking to everyone here, just the ones who respond like baseball did. some have been very nice and I appreciate it. I am in a lot of pain, physically and emotionally, having just lost my mom. I've seen some improvement in my leg pain. I'm just looking for ideas and help here. thanks.
Jill |
| Scottydog |
Posted - 01/30/2006 : 06:43:14
In my view one of the reasons we are goodists is that we suffer from low selfesteem - we help and flatter everyone else so that they (we think) admire and appreciate us, instead of putting ourselves first.
Having low self esteem makes you much touchier about criticism and more likely to imagine slights. I think that's why there are many touchy responses here - probably more than most messageboards.
I've certainly made a few ill judged replies but feel that i'm improving as I get to grip with TMS so I keep this in mind with other posters.
Or am I as bad as ever and Baseball's going to put me in my place??!!
Anne |
| jilly_girl |
Posted - 01/30/2006 : 06:42:28
baseballs post is a good reason why people would not accept the TMS diagnosis if they came to this forum. this comment of his:
Perhaps you are a 'Type A' personality...you certainly have the hostility portion; the other would be an absolute inability to crack the barrier into the emotional.I have known a few type A's before and they also get psychogenic related back problems,but it is only one of a myriad of symptoms,the other being mostly cardiac and circulatory in nature
so baseball, my post made you so angry you had to tell me i'd get heart problems? i dont think i'm the one with the hostility problem here.
Jill |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 01/29/2006 : 21:39:16
quote:
Originally posted by jilly_girl
You sound pissed off in your return post.
I need to tell you that I have also noticed a thread of hostility in your posts. It almost seems as though you're attempting to invalidate the existence of TMS! Maybe you aren't really convinced yet that TMS is your diagnosis
you dont have TMS
you havent read the book correctly.
all of the above statements have been made to me in this forum. did you ever think perhaps this approach is why people do NOT believe in TMS? You come, ask questions, try to be as honest as you know how, and get sarcasm. Some of you were kind, some sarcastic. You cant come across like that if you want people to hear you on TMS. We are all here because we hurt. Think about it.
Jill
That Jill would be because going back to when you had Ohhh....maybe 10 or 12 posts??? you were attacking people and 'bringing them to account' for things..not asking questions or accepting answers as they were given,but the traditional chip-on-your-shoulder type of personality....you came in demanding answers and contradicting people like myself who have been recovered for a long time.I never responded to any of your inquiries for you always shoot the messenger.
If you noticed(which I doubt) I and some of the other old timers never responded to your angry rants.I noticed in the short time you've been here you've run your post count really,really high.
If I posted something you would repost an attack if I had not responded in your desired timeframe....an internet bully is what we call them on another forum.I only check this board periodically to see if anybody really needs help,and than one of the first things I ask them if I help them personally is to NOT frequent this forum as it has become largely populated by people who are stuck,people who are new and want to talk before they listen and people who don't really have TMS....they are just lonely and use TMS identification as a ruse to initiate talk about their personal problems
I wonder if you focused some of that energy into personal introspection if you would not be further down the road to recovery than you are...Perhaps you do not have TMS..Perhaps you are a 'Type A' personality...you certainly have the hostility portion; the other would be an absolute inability to crack the barrier into the emotional.I have known a few type A's before and they also get psychogenic related back problems,but it is only one of a myriad of symptoms,the other being mostly cardiac and circulatory in nature.
Well...you've hijacked another string...perhaps you should start one of your own and see who cares to answer.
I'll check back in a few weeks,and I'm sure you will have debunked,defrocked and exposed many other villains.
-MLrR
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
| jilly_girl |
Posted - 01/29/2006 : 21:14:34
You sound pissed off in your return post.
I need to tell you that I have also noticed a thread of hostility in your posts. It almost seems as though you're attempting to invalidate the existence of TMS! Maybe you aren't really convinced yet that TMS is your diagnosis
you dont have TMS
you havent read the book correctly.
all of the above statements have been made to me in this forum. did you ever think perhaps this approach is why people do NOT believe in TMS? You come, ask questions, try to be as honest as you know how, and get sarcasm. Some of you were kind, some sarcastic. You cant come across like that if you want people to hear you on TMS. We are all here because we hurt. Think about it.
Jill |
| Susie |
Posted - 01/29/2006 : 17:23:02
Jill, I get what I would call tinges of symptoms but not that often and not anything that really worries me. It's really more of a reminder to me that something is bothering me and as soon as I address it the symptom disipates. I mean usually in a matter of minutes. Writing things down is the most helpful to me. Initially I did it first thing every morning and then put it in the shredder kinda like a ritual. Now I only do it if I cannot make a symptom leave. I write in a stream of conscious with nothing in chronological order. Just however it comes out. If something makes me really angry I will ledger immediately,before I have any symptoms. I have found that this process actually seems to prevent symptoms. |
| jilly_girl |
Posted - 01/29/2006 : 16:38:45
curiosity if i didnt believe in TMS would i come to this forum? do you still have symptoms? what do you think helped you the most?
Jill |
| Susie |
Posted - 01/29/2006 : 16:37:39
Jill, nothing about this was easy for me. You sound pissed off in your return post. The reason I am trying to draw your attention to it is because I never felt angry. I knew that Sarno emphasizes anger even over stress,but I was sure my symptoms were just brought on by stress. It took me a long time to find my anger but,boy,it was sure there. My improvement was very slow but I think my total belief in Sarno really helped. I went to the hospital several times with panic attacks not knowing what was happening. I was sure I was dying. Really dying. I became terribly enraged at a nurse that told me it was a panic attack. This couldn't be psychological. I felt sooo sick. Then came the pain. I guess I am trying to tell you not to give up hope. I was really a total mess but after alot of time and work I feel in control. I only hope the same for you. |
| Curiosity18 |
Posted - 01/29/2006 : 16:29:55
jilly girl,
I can truly understand your frustration with this diagnosis/progress. Believe me, I've had my share of anger and tantrums directed at my symptoms over the years! Like you my symptoms have not simply gone away from just recognizing my sources of anger (as well as my unconscious reservoir of rage). But I need to tell you that I have also noticed a thread of hostility in your posts. It almost seems as though you're attempting to invalidate the existence of TMS! Maybe you aren't really convinced yet that TMS is your diagnosis. I really hope you're able to benefit from this forum, but your responses do come off to me as being non-receptive and at times, attacking.
Curiosity |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 01/29/2006 : 15:35:53
@ETG
I am concerned when I read things about "Positive thinking"...I know it might just be semantics,but I get the impression from your post that you are looking for an 'out' ;a way to 'not qualify'
If that is so,than by all means have the epidurals,use the cushion etc,etc...not trying to be cruel.Everybody I have ever met thinks their pain is the worst that anyone has ever felt,and that No one is hearing them.
Journaling isn't 'what I did today by Baseball65'...it's an excursion into the deepest,darkest most uncomfortable pits of your soul..
If you haven't done the above,than it's no wonder your pains still there...it has you completely focused on the external like all the other people who have had no respite....they focus on workouts,positive thinking and challenging the pain without a true understanding of TMS,why it's there,and what to do....
..and of course,like anything that takes hard work,time and a discipline,everybody who doesn't get it right away assumes that all the people who did have some sort of strategic advantage.
-out
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
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