| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Laura |
Posted - 07/21/2005 : 17:56:35
Hi everyone,
I sort of feel like I'm beating a dead horse here by talking about issues with parents again but sadly I need to vent. This is the safest, best place I can think of to do that so here goes.
Lately, my TMS has been manifesting itself with insomnia, stomach problems, anxiety, and the usual dizziness, with a little low back pain and shoulder pain thrown in. I've literally felt like I've been beaten up, or perhaps beaten down. My mother was just released from the hospital after two weeks. She had emergency gall bladder surgery which was done laparoscopically (which in turn created a whole new array of problems for her). My mother had fluid in her lungs which needed to be drained, then fluid (bile and infection) in the liver, which needed to be drained, plus a high white blood cell count. Being the "good" daughter that I am, I called her faithfully three times per day, every day for the entire two weeks. I'd ask my father to speak with her and every time the answer was the same "she's too tired," even though I'd hear her talking up a storm in the background to the nurses and even though I know she talked to my father all the time. Her mouth wasn't broken, she just wouldn't talk to me. My sister even managed to talk to her a couple of times, just not me.
Two days ago my mother was released, even though my sis and I thought it was crazy to send a woman home from the hospital who still has fluid in both lungs and liver and a high white blood cell count (plus, they didn't send her home with a prescription for antibiotics - weird). Yesterday I didn't even bother to call because I am starting to feel like a nuisance. I keep hoping she'll WANT to talk to me or NEED to talk to me but she doesn't. Then, I spoke with my sister yesterday (this is my only sister, the very sister who Mom admitted years ago to me was her favorite between the two of us) and she told me she called my parents and that my Mom got on the phone and chatted with her for 45 minutes, giving her every boring detail of her hospital stay. My sister also mentioned how my Mom thanked her for all her love and concern and for the flowers and get well cards. Also, apparently my Mom was able to go on a two mile walk yesterday as well.
Today, I decided to call so waited for the perfect time, after lunch. I figured it wasn't too late at night, it wasn't too early in the morning, and it wasn't right at lunch time. My dad answered the phone and before I could say a word says "Your Mom is just too tired." It was weird. Then, before we hung up he says "The home health care people are coming to draw blood tomorrow so if we find anything out I'll call you." I said "Or, Dad, how about if you have Mom herself call me. I haven't talked to her in weeks." His response was "Oh, she's just too tired to talk. It really takes a lot out of her to talk on the phone." Freaking unbelievable!!!! The inner child in me is furious right now!!! I'm pissed off and I just don't even know what to do with my anger. Here I was calling my Mom three times a day, I sent her flowers (my sister and I shared the cost), I sent her get well cards, my kids sent her get well cards, I called my sister every day to keep her posted while she was at work as to what the situation was, AND I called my self-centered brother who lives 35 minutes away from Mom and Dad and told him he needed to go see his mother. AND SHE HAS NOTHING TO SAY TO ME?
How the heck do I let go of all this anger and steam??? I don't know what to do with it all. Writing is helping because I have to put it somewhere but I don't know how to move on and just realize that Mom has nothing to give me. She never has and she never will.
I keep thinking what would I do if I were a 73 year old woman laying in a hospital bed with all these problems. I would be so thrilled to hear my daughters' voices on the phone or to see them. It would absolutely make my day. Heck, my 15 year old asked me to go shopping with her today and I was jumping for joy. Do I just move on with my life and don't even bother to call my Mother anymore? That's what my husband says to do. He says to just forget about it and move on and be busy myself.
Any thoughts on how I should handle this? I derive such strength from the people on this forum. Thanks for listening.
Laura
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| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Laura |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 19:28:17
Thank you, Baseball, for your wonderful suggestions. I will definitely try that, especially in light of the fact that nearly every therapist I see seems worse off than me. You are absolutely right. I think ultimately it is upto me and nobody else. I need to listen to myself.
By the way, I know you are a Louise Hay fan but do you also enjoy reading the work of Dr. Wayne Dyer? I just bought his latest book "The Power of Intention" and so far it's a very interesting read. Check it out. I skipped forward to the chapter about healing - the chapter entitled "It is my intention to optimize my capacity to heal and be healed." Interesting stuff.
Thanks again for your input. It is greatly appreciated.
Laura
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| Baseball65 |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 11:52:36
quote:
Yes, I probably should find a therapist to talk to about this but I think I'm all talked out. I've talked to many therapists about my mother, which is where I believe the majority of my psychological stressors come from
Hi Laura.
I went back and read every single chapter of this...uh...exchange with your Mom.It's clear that you've isolated the problem,but it's still kind of floating around inside of you...the fact that you were so elated about her 'Thanks' is actually not necessarily good from a therapeutic standpoint...There is No such thing as a "well" person,but needing acknowledgement from clearly "not well' people is actually feeding the black wolf.
I'm close to invisible to my own Mom,but one of the things I did on my own to sort of cut the connection of anger,was do a Gestalt sort of "play" if you will of what I would say to her if I could say whatever I wanted with emotional and psychological impunity....not just write about it or discuss it,but actually talk to an imaginary "her" who was sitting there,healthy ,silent and attentive.
It's very therapeutic to act out these things...over and over again if necessary.Since it would be cruel to actually do them,and of course would set in motion more pain,it is a safe way to define our selves as a seperate entity from our thoughts.Just like most of us still suffered from symptoms AFTER we agreed with Sarno's approach,likewise a lot of us suffer from emotional tyranny long after we've intellectually processed the 'reasons' and justified our righteousness in feeling as such.
In fact,it wasn't until I did this that I could actually forgive my Mom for the way she 'checked out' for my entire childhood.It also keeps me from having more TMS outbreaks when she tries to drop guilt bombs on me from afar.
All a therapist does is ask you a bunch of questions....you mostly listen to yourself.If you ask the questions sincerely on your own,you can achieve the same results for a lot less time and money.
Just an Idea.
peace
Baseball65 |
| electraglideman |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:57:01
Laura,
Remember how your mother gave all of her attention to your sister? It probably made you want to talk to your mother even more to gain her attention and effection.
Just keep communicating with your parents through your dad. Never ask to speak to your mother. If she does call you be pleasant to her but let her do all the talking. Relay all important information through your dad. In other words play the game with her that she played with you and your sister.
I'll bet she will eventually want to talk to you more as time passes on. |
| Laura |
Posted - 08/03/2005 : 19:52:45
Thanks, Michelle, I won't. Tigers NEVER change their stripes, that's for sure! She is who she is. I was shocked though to actually hear a thank you.
Laura
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| molomaf |
Posted - 08/03/2005 : 16:55:06
Laura,
Don't get sucked in!
Michele |
| Laura |
Posted - 08/03/2005 : 15:30:44
Well, it's been weeks and weeks and finally, I spoke to my mother today. My father called and told me they had just been to the doctor and everything is going well and then he says "Here, do you want to talk to your mother?" She gets on the phone and goes on and on for about 30 minutes about her hospital stay. I just let her go.
At one point in the conversation (or should I say monologue) I tried to interject something (like normal people do when they are having a conversation) and she says "Laura, are you there? I can't hear you." I said "Can you hear me now?" and she says "Oh, yeah. I hear you but I better go now." I never did get to finish what I was saying and then she proceeds to start yacking again for another 15 minutes about herself (does the diagnosis narcissitic personality disorder ring a bell?)
I had no expections during the conversation so that I didn't set myself up for being hurt. Just as we were winding the conversation down, she says "I better go now because I'm going to lose you. I just wanted to say thank you for all the cards and well wishes. I especially liked the card you sent to me with the lighthouse on it (she loves lighthouses)." I was shocked. She actually thanked me. Miracles do happen!
Laura
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| Laura |
Posted - 08/01/2005 : 16:02:30
Thanks for your suggestions, Mala and Miehnesor. I've been on vacation since last week and just got back today (Monday).
I still haven't talked to dear old Mom and as a matter-of-fact, getting away was the best thing in the world for me. I was focusing on it so much while I was at home but once our family got to our vacation destination, I was so preoccupied with how lovely the beach was and everything else around me that I seemed to forget all about the situation. Now I'm back home and I'm doing okay. I brought my cell phone and I told my father if he needed to get ahold of me for any reason he could call but he did not so I'm assuming my mother is doing fine. If I know my mother she's going to play the role for awhile longer and wait for me to call her. I'll probably give a call to my dad later in the week or on the weekend just to say hi and let him know I'm home, but I refuse to ask to talk to her anymore. I will not allow myself to feed into the "game" she likes to play.
Yes, I probably should find a therapist to talk to about this but I think I'm all talked out. I've talked to many therapists about my mother, which is where I believe the majority of my psychological stressors come from. She truly did a number on me. I just haven't had the best of luck in finding a therapist to talk to but who knows. Maybe that luck will change.
Ahh. Vacations are such bliss. I'm feeling very relaxed and I'm going to see how long I can stay that way! I did have quite a bit of dizziness on vacation, but that's a whole other topic of discussion.
Laura
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| mala |
Posted - 07/29/2005 : 02:43:26
Laura,
Well done on your recent approach towards handling your parents. I know it is hard for you especially as your mother is not well. The way you handled yourself with your dad over the phone was excellent. I hope that when you do finally get to talk to your mom that you will have sorted out your approach with her. Calm and dignified is the way to go from now on.
I agree with Dave that you need to be aware and try to resolve some of these issues but I also think that at some stage in life you need to let go when the problem is an unsolvable one. Mother daughter issues especially some of the stuff being mentioned on the forum are very hard to resolve. The 'mothers' here are hell bent on having their own way and the daughters spend their whole lives seeking their mothers approval. Mothers love this game and I don't see any reason why they should be allowed to continue with this kind of mental abuse which is exactly what it is. We should steer clear from any kind of abusive relationships to maintain our self esteem . We can't afford to be 'mommy's little girls' any more and our moms need to realise that if they want a relationship with us it has to be based on respect and mutual understanding. The frustration and rage that this inner child feels at being treated this way spills out into other areas of our lives and causes much damage physically an mentally not only to ourselves but other members of our family are affected too.
Chances are they will not change not that generation of moms anyway. WE need to distance ourselves for the sake of our own sanity and find suitable strategies to deal with the situation and in some cases altogether end the relationship.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 07/28/2005 : 18:39:14
Laura- Seems to me you are doing exactly the right thing wrt Dave's suggestions and your implementation.
There is one thing however which you might want to do in parallel and that is really work out your anger with your mother with a therapist. I know you haven't had luck with that in the past but perhaps you just haven't found the right person. Since you have major mother issues you may want to try what I'm trying which is to find a motherly type figure for a therapist - someone who you can feel safe really getting into and expressing your feelings. As Dave said you can't deny the feelings and even if you portray calm and detachment you still are probably seething inside.
It's awful that your parents treat you the way that they do and they probably will never change but that doesn't mean the child within you still wishes for and really wants that love and recognition.
The thing about these intense feelings is that they don't go away unless you connect with them and grieve them and they keep the TMS live and well. Grieving doesn't get rid of them but it takes the self destructive sting out of them and provides more lasting relief.
I liked what Suz said earlier in this thread. What do you think? |
| molomaf |
Posted - 07/25/2005 : 14:51:16
Laura,
Kudos! I hope you felt good after that conversation with your father!
You didn't get emotional and you didn't get angry!
Michele |
| Laura |
Posted - 07/25/2005 : 13:49:00
Well, no sooner did I write this last post and about an hour later my Dad calls. He says "I called you last Friday but you never called back." I said "Yes, Dad, you left a message and it sounded like everything was under control so I didn't call back." Then, he says "I thought you were on vacation right now. Why are you home?"
I said "Because, Dad, I'm not leaving until Thursday. Don't you remember, I told you that?" He goes on to tell me that Mom's "platelet count" is up now (he doesn't know what this means but is being told it's not good) and she needs to have a CAT scan done tomorrow. He also said "I thought maybe you could tell me what that means or that Bernie (my brother-in-law who is a medical doctor) could." I said "Dad, I'm not going to be the go between so if you want I will give you Bernie's phone number and you can speak to him yourself. That way, he can answer your questions directly." I gave him my brother-in-law's phone number and a moment later, he says "Your Mom is just too tired to talk to you right now. She's relaxing" (I wasn't going to ask - he just said it) and I said "That's fine, Dad, because I wasn't going to ask to talk to her. Keep me posted on her condition and I hope you get some answers tomorrow." I was very nice and polite, but didn't waste any time asking to talk to Mom. I told him I loved him, he said he loved me too and I hung up.
So, I have let my father know I'm here if he needs to call me and I'm hear to talk if he wants to talk, but I'm not playing the "can I please talk to Mom" game anymore. Mom has bigger problems than her elevated platelet count, unfortunately.
Again, thanks to all of you for your suggestions and comments. I am grateful for this forum and for all of you.
I'm off to go have lunch with my kids.
Laura
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| Laura |
Posted - 07/25/2005 : 11:22:34
Dave,
Sadly, if I were to talk to my mother I would not say anything to her about this because we don't have the kind of relationship where I feel safe to do that. I would never dare to "scold" my mother for anything. I would, however, say that I've been trying to reach her and that I was worried about her throughout this whole ordeal.
I remember when I talked to Don Dubin, the psychologist recommended by Dr. Schechter. The one thing I did get out of our two or three conversations was that Dr. Dubin feels I have this empty "hole" that needs to be filled by my parents and they are never going to fill it. It is my job to fill it for myself. Dr. Dubin feels the dizziness (or headaches, or TMJ symptoms, or stomach problem - fill in the ailment of your choice) happens when I think about my parents and their lack of concern (i.e. filling the hole). This is why I'm trying to move on with my life and find something gratifying that I can do to help myself and to help other people. I am a nurturer by nature (say that ten times) and I have a strong desire to be needed and to try to help other people. I am definitely a "goodist." Calling the hospital 3 or 4 times a day and talking to the nurses and my Dad was important - I wanted to know how my Mother was and I was genuinely concerned. Part of me also felt guilty for not being right there in the hospital with her. But she is home now and appears to be doing quite well. I just need to move on now and live my life and when I speak to them I'll speak to them. It just cannot be a priority right now. I will NOT, however, feed into my mother's games by continuing to call or calling and telling her how much I'm hurt. That will not work for me.
My mother clearly plays games and she clearly plays favorites. That's her schtick. I will not stop being her daughter, but I will stop feeding into her need for attention. My job is done. I did what any normal, loving daughter would have done. I was worried, I was concerned, and I made every attempt to have a conversation with the woman. My attempts have failed and so now I will move on and utilize my energy elsewhere. I must say, not having to call Mom over and over all day long has freed up some extra time to do fun things with my kids. We went to the water park Friday, to a concert in the park Saturday, and to the beach yesterday. The family I had growing up was a dysfunctional nightmare. I think I'd rather spend my time nurturing the family I have now and continue to create the kind of home I wish I would have had as a kid.
Thank you for your comments and suggestions. You are very perceptive and I agree that appearing "content and happy" is probably the best thing I could do and that's what I intend to do.
Laura
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| Dave |
Posted - 07/25/2005 : 10:56:50
Laura,
You say "it's simple" but the tone of your message indicates it still eats away at you inside.
I know you can't turn off those feelings, just make sure you address them. The worst thing you can do is say to yourself "I don't care" when in fact you really do. You can't convince yourself not have certain feelings.
It's likely your mother treats you this way specifically to piss you off. For whatever reason, that's the kind of attention she craves from you. Unless you're misrepresenting things, it is sadistic and vindictive.
What would be your first topic of conversation if you did finally get to talk to her? Would you make it known that you were pissed off at her? Would you "scold" her for not making herself more available to you? Would you let her see that her treatment has stirred such negative feelings in you? If so, then maybe you're giving her exactly the attention she is looking for.
What if instead you were happy and jovial, as if this game was not being played. Diffuse her attempts to stir your anger by instead appearing perfectly content and happy. Just maybe you will blow her mind and things will change. |
| Laura |
Posted - 07/25/2005 : 10:38:38
Allan,
My guess is that they would not even notice and in a month from now when I finally would break down and call them they would act like nothing ever happened. They clearly DON'T GET IT!!! Like I said, they've done crap before that has made me decide to stop trying with them and stop communication and the last time this happened we didn't speak for over a year. Finally, I wound up calling them and tearfully asked if we could put the past behind us (this was three years ago, right before my oldest daughter was having her bat mitzvah.) I always have to be the "bigger person" with them.
I just don't get it at all. My mother and I haven't talked in about a month. She's been home now for over a week and every attempt at speaking with her has failed. I wonder, is she so stupid she just doesn't get what she's doing or does she purposely try to play this game with me, knowing full well how many times I've tried to contact her. It's almost as if she derives pleasure from making herself scarce. How could talking to one's own child be too "tiring" and yet a two mile walk is okay? The message my father left on Friday was all about how great she was feeling and how they had taken a long walk that day. Yet, she can't muster up the strength to talk to her child, the very child who showed concern and who was there for her throughout her entire hospital stay? What am I missing here?
I am very busy getting ready for our family vacation and then I'll be gone till next week. Once I'm back, I'll be getting my girls ready to go back to school (August 15th) and once they are back in school I'll be busy getting on with my life (hopefully some sort of job to better myself and the world around me). The ball is in her court. When she's finally "able" to pick up the phone and call me she can. Otherwise, I guess she won't get to talk to me. It's that simple.
Laura
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| Allan |
Posted - 07/24/2005 : 19:42:21
Laura.
Suppose you stopped calling your mother and stopped trying to contact her, and your father for that matter. No telephone calls, no cards, no attempt at communication whatsoever.
Stop all such activity for at least a month or more.
What do you think would happen?
Allan. |
| Laura |
Posted - 07/24/2005 : 11:54:32
Michelle,
I am so sorry to hear about the pain you had to go through with your leg surgery. That had to be difficult. You sound very strong as well. Your mother sounds so much like mine. My mother is always full of excuses for everything too and she never thinks she's done anything wrong either. She's done so much crap to me over the years and those images are still very clear in my mind, unfortunately. It is just too difficult and painful to forget. I'm surprised they even made it out here for my daughter's bat mitzvah. I wasn't sure they were even going to come. You see, they play favorites and my younger daughter is NOT their favorite. They told our family one time (my daughters and myself) that of each family (my sister's, my brother's and mine) they have a favorite grandchild. My mother said "Of Kevin's (my brother) kids we like Jeremy the best, of Martha's (my sis) kids Ryan is our favorite, and between the two of you we like you both the same." Can you believe that? Did my kids need to hear that crap? When our older daughter, Danielle, had her bat mitzvah almost three years ago they didn't even think twice about coming out. Afterward, my mother kept going on and on about how amazing she did (I was shocked - her giving out compliments) and about how she was so impressed that someone could learn another language like that at 13. When it came time for our daughter Sarah to have hers, my parents weren't sure they would even make it out here. When they learned my sister was coming then my Mother decided they would come. Sarah did an equally amazing job - not one single mistake and a very long Torah portion - and my Mother barely said a word. This is so typical of my Mother.
My Mother and I had a blowout a few years ago and didn't speak for over a year. It didn't seem to even bother her. And the thing is, Dad goes along with all of it. He has no mind of his own. If I had not called them and tried to mend things, we would still not be speaking I know that. Everything is upto me. I have to do all the work. Well, rude awakening. I'm done doing the work. This latest thing has taught me a valuable lesson. Therefore, I will be focusing my attention elsewhere, trying to make the world a better place by finding some way I can help other people. I have to channel that energy somewhere else. It is my nature to want to help people and to care about others - Mom just doesn't need any of that from me. My daughters are at an age where they need me more than ever and I am here for them, 24/7. I love them more than anything in the world.
I am sorry for your pain, Michelle, and the pain of others who have posted about this. It is so sad. Last night I was at a concert and started thinking about it all and immediately got dizzy. Today I'm going to go spend the day at the beach with my family.
Have a nice weekend.
Laura
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| Laura |
Posted - 07/24/2005 : 11:32:48
Polly,
Your story made me cry so hard. Thank you for sharing it. Your friend sounds like a very strong person. Thank God she has friends like you. Nobody should have to go through that kind of pain on their own. It is very sad. How could any Mother in their right mind abandon their daughter like that? I cannot understand it. My daughter sprained a finger the other day at the water park and I keep checking on it to make sure she's okay. My daughter are my LIFE - if they were ever in any kind of pain or hurting in any way I would want to be with them.
Thank you for your kind words ("From your posts I would give you an A+.") You are very sweet.
I'm waking up every morning remembering dreams I'm having about my Mother. Every one of them have some sort of negative component to them. I guess I'm working things out while I sleep.
We leave for our family vacation in a few more days. I will not be calling my Dad before I leave. It is just not worth it. I just end up feeling bad when I hang up the phone. Sounds like Mom has everything under control anyway. I'm just trying to live my life and focus on my own family.
This morning I was laying in bed watching television (Animal Planet). They were telling this story of this poor girl who had polio when she was a child and was confined to a wheelchair, unable to walk or use her legs at all. She loved chihuahas and was always wanting to pet them but the people showing their dogs wouldn't let her. Except one. This one kind man had many chihuahuas that he showed at dog shows and one in particular was unable to complete any more. He gave this teenage girl his dog and she was so happy. This man was crying as he told the story. The girl's mother was crying (she appeared to be a very sweet, nurturing mother) too. The man who gave up his dog said "It just gave me such joy to make another human being happy." I thought to myself, "I need to go out and do something to help other people. That's it, I'm done talking about it." So, my purpose is to channel all this useless energy I'm wasting on Mom and trying to get Mom's attention and use it to make the world a better place. I don't know what my purpose is, but I know there is something out there that I can do to contribute to mankind and help other people. And that's exactly what I intend to do!
I hope you have a nice weekend. Thank you again.
Laura
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| molomaf |
Posted - 07/24/2005 : 08:26:25
OMG Polly,
This is so similar to what my mother did to me. I had surgery in early January for one of the "few" conditions that is not TMS. I had cauda equina syndrome and was not able to walk. I had emergency surgery. I called my mother amongst others and told her that the prognosis was not great. I would wear a brace on my lower legs and not be able to walk very well. It could take a year for me to get back the nerves that were damaged. I was scared and my mother called and told me that she couldn't come(from Florida) to see me because she was going to the Bahamas(for the fifth or sixth time to gamble) the next week. Within a few days of the surgery, she told me she was going to NYC before her trip to the Bahamas because my sister was making a graduation party for my niece. Huh? I was floored. Here I can't stand, totally dependent for most of my needs, I don't know what is going to happen to me and she's is going to a party? My mother told me that she couldn't come see me in Boston because it was too cold. Of course NYC is so much warmer than Boston in January. Her next excuse was who was going to get her from the airport and where would she stay? Apparently, she has never heard of cabs or hotels. My sister is just as much to blame as she should have told my mother to see me. Fortunately, I have my aunt(my mother's sister) to talk to and that got me through.
My mother finally came to see me in May although I would have rather not have seen her at all. I had to drive her to the airport on her way back!
I rarely call her because I don't want to speak to her. All I can say is that if my daughter or son had even minor surgery, I would be with them in a flash. And I don't like to fly but that wouldn't stop me. I will never understand in a million years what my mother did. I brought it up to her later and she didn't think she did anything wrong!! She brought up all her silly excuses.
That was the final nail in the coffin, Laura.
By the way, I am doing very well and things went better than the doctors thought. I got back my ability to walk in a few months. I am doing everything I was doing before the "event". I am driving, carrying laundry up two flights of stairs-everything. I don't wear any braces or even use a cane. I am very lucky.
Michele |
| polly |
Posted - 07/24/2005 : 07:07:54
Laura,
I was thinking about this as I was sipping my morning dose of java.
I always thought that I would have made a great daughter. I didn't have anyone to be a daughter to. You would have been a great daughter too. Sometimes, you have to accept the reality and move on.
Last year my girlfriend was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer. She's got a 15 yr. old daughter and her husband died 5 yrs. ago.
She had a double masectomy. Her mother, who lives in Flordia, didn't come to see her. She wanted to come up a week later, but my friend told her to go fly a kite. You see, she didn't go see her daughter who was scared, alone and had cancer because she had a wedding to go to in Florida. When asked why she didn't go up right away, she answered that she had a wedding to go to. Her real excuse was that she'd already bought the dress to wear to the function.
After a couple of weeks of nonsense excuses and calls, my friend told her mother to have a nice life (this is not an isolated instance with her) and to not call. My friend has been through chemo and is in the last stages of radiation treatment. It's been rough, but she's going to be fine...she has to. Her mental state is 10x better than it would have been if she hadn't cut her mother loose. She let it be her mother's problem, not hers.
We, her friends for 20+ yrs., had a phone chain going at all times through this. My friends physical pain has been minimal.
The most important thing that you or my friend or any of us can do is break the cycle. We can't stop the Mom's who hurt, we can only make sure we never do it their way. From your posts, I would give you an A+. When we end our pain, we can end our children's. That's how I think it should work.
Have a great day,
Polly |
| Laura |
Posted - 07/23/2005 : 12:36:13
I don't know how I wrote my name three times but that's pretty funny.
Laura
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