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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
 Posted - 03/02/2016 : 16:52:27
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Hi there.
I doubt anyone remembers my name or my story. I'm a 31 year old guy. I fixed paralyzing RSI in my arms and shoulders many years ago. I know how hard it is to be convinced about the cause, and I know how important it is to be convinced and to read success stories. Anyway, I have been living a pretty normal life ever since. Highs and lows. Getting by.
Even before that, by now about 14 years ago, I had a brain hemorrhage. I had to re-learn balance, proper talking, the whole works that comes with being an enabled person. One of the major issues at the time was that I had pretty severe strabismus. Heterotropia. Cross-eyes.
A year later, after my brain wasn't considered a risk factor anymore, I got surgery. They adjusted the muscles in my eyes. Fixed my eyesight about 80%. Year later. Second surgery. Fixed to about 95%. This is where the brain can adjust the remainder, so unless I was really tired, it felt like 100% to me.
Four years ago, my eyes started to get cross again. More and more. Until it was semi-permanent. I thought this was physical; maybe the scar tissue in the eye-muscles was changing the muscle length by a millimeter or whatever.
Two years ago, I got another surgery. My eyesight was totally fine for two weeks. Then I started to see cross-eyed again.
The surgeon said that he doesn't believe this is from scar tissue, because the difference is too big after 2 weeks versus after 2 months. He prefers not to do surgery again because the muscles are stretched pretty tight by now, messing with the lenses of my eyes.
Now the annoying thing is that the cross-eyedness-factor is pretty hard-coded (AKA non-TMS) in humans. If you watch a lightsource with a special glass in front of only one eyeball that changes the light into a red horizontal or vertical line and thus breaks the similarity between what picture eyes register, you can see your 'default' level of strabismus when the red line does not go over the lightsource, but rather an angle (measured in dioptres) off, usually horizontally. Most humans have a value below 4 dioptres. When you see a similar image in both eyes, your brain auto-adjusts your eyes in place. This mechanism gets harder when the default deviation approaches 6. My default deviation is about 11-14. Although right after the surgery it was 6-7.
This is all pretty non-TMS, fact of life, eyeball-calibration stuff. That's why this type of surgery is so effective for most people.
However, in my case, there are some inconsistencies. First, the most obvious: Why does my deviation change over time, so long after the initial cause, two times?
Doctor said that previously hemorrhaged brains like mine are statistically more prone to change stuff like the internal eyeball-calibration for reasons unknown, and I have just been above-average unlucky compared to similar people around me.
Second: Sometimes, very occasionally, usually after staring in the distance for a long time (e.g. driving for 2+ hours), and while being distracted, I start seeing normal single-vision. Suddenly I realize this, and when I focus on a sign that has letters, I loose the lock and the pictures separate.
Let me tell you, this is the most annoying remnant of a less fortunate time in my life. It was gone for a good 10+ years. Evidence is conflicting. The Sarno books I read, the success stories I read, and my own personal experience are all about pain, neurons, and oxygen deprivation. Could I fix my eyes, or is this just wishful thinking? I can't have any more surgery, so I'm just hoping it was TMS all along?
I guess I'm hoping for success stories. They are the fire-starter one needs, hoping it's enough to start a fire in the home of the green gremlin. Or something.
At first I was hesitant to post, because having brain damage triggered strabismus, getting it physically repaired and getting it back after 10 years is probably kind of a rare case. Getting a hemorrhage at 17 in itself is a rare case. But I remember we are all rare cases here, and I've seen some pretty unique ones when I frequented this forum all those years ago. You are the accumulation of experience in this field, and I am curious to hear from you!
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TMS is the hidden language of the soul. |
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2016 : 03:33:37
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One interesting post from 2008:
quote:
Originally posted by Wavy Soul at 01/28/2008
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4291&SearchTerms=strabismus#31074
I was just going to post about my seeming success with "strabismus," which is double vision.
I started having it about 2 years ago, and when I was tired I couldn't drive without covering one eye. Often in the evenings if I was in a group of people, I would be seeing one person's head on top of another's body. Very odd.
Eventually I went for glasses, which I keep in my car. At my Xmas party an old friend who is an eye doc came and was asking me how my eyes are. I told him about the strabismus. He later e-mailed me encouraging me to come in and learn these eye exercises that cure it. I distinctly remember thinking "crap, it will just make it more of a "thing" " I think this amounted to a recognition that it was TMS and a decision not to take it seriously, or even give it any attention, beyond having the glasses in the car to stay safe if necessary.
Apparently it was TMS because it seems to be more or less gone.
xx
Are you still around, Wavy Soul? I'm interested in that post if you ended up making it (although I couldn't find it through the search), or the content of that email you are talking about.
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TMS is the hidden language of the soul. |
Edited by - Redsandro on 03/03/2016 03:35:04 |
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Opinions/experiences on cross-eyedness being TMS?
