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filipe
Portugal
280 Posts |
 Posted - 05/25/2015 : 07:10:16
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Dear all,
My wife was diagnosed with an invasive carcinoma/breast cancer. I'm affraid she developped this cancer, because of me. My constant battle against chronic pain/TMS, which resulted in a Cure one year ago, and my understanding of PSychossomatic ilness, was characterized by many ups and downs, and great stress namely for my wife. I feel responsible. I often blamed her for not understanding my chronic pain or not believing that it was real, or that it was phisical rather than psycgological. (How I was wrong :().
Some months ago she also developed skin cancer (Basal Cell Carcinoma) which was successfully removed. For me 2 cancers in a row it is very stange. Now I wanna help her. But I have doubts. I realy need some advise. I really need to hear Ace's opinium about cancer, or people that experience remission from it, with a TMS approach.
Thanks a lot,
Well, I finaky found it here a connection between Aldara and Breast Cancer...
http://www.doctorsaredangerous.com/aldara.htm
http://factmed.com/study-ALDARA-causing-BREAST%20CANCER.php
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Edited by - filipe on 05/31/2015 02:54:21 |
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tompny
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2015 : 07:09:42
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| This is a great opportunity to shift your focus from your TMS, and onto her. She's going to need you. You can't be afraid now. You've got this. Good luck. |
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alexis
USA
596 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2015 : 17:28:37
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Hi Filipe,
I'm sorry to hear you and your wife are facing this struggle and wish you both the best. In thinking about the seeming coincidence, keep in mind that basal cell is very, very common and rarely dangerous, so I wouldn't really call it "2 cancers" in the most classic sense. Most men, for instance, eventually have some prostate cancer (often undiagnosed). Cancer is extremely common in these less dangerous forms. The really bad deal here is the breast cancer, and personally I think TMS and even stress is low on the list of likely causes.
I would recommended taking your cues from your wife about whether or not to include any TMS or related approaches. I assume she is familiar with the basic theories and mostly needs your support for her decisions right now, and any disgagreement of approach is just going to add to her stress. That said, reducing stress in itself is mostly going to be good for...reducing stress. Don't wrap yourself up in guilt that it will necessarily have any medical impact on the cancer. Read here for an example of data inducating the psychological element in cancer may have been overblown:
http://jco.ascopubs.org/content/25/36/5689.full
That said, stress can be inherently bad and can cause other issues. Your unconditional support is really all she likely wants or needs right now.
Best wishes.
Alexis
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Edited by - alexis on 05/27/2015 18:41:31 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2015 : 20:19:40
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Hello Filipe,
I agree with Alexis on only one point and that is the basal cell cancer is a very common, pretty much benign condition ( still caused by tms however). I do not agree on alexis' stance that cancer is not a severe form of tms. If she doesn't work with these patients day in and day out, she does not have the experience to accurately comment on this subject. In regards to the article on psychotherapy and no proven benefit in cancer, I can agree with this article. Remember dr Sarno stated that you can go to the best psychotherapist in the world and if you do not know that tms is the basic cause of your symptoms, you will never get better. I believe had I gone to psychotherapy and had I not worked on things listed on my keys, I also would have never gotten better. Things like being in a rush and strained etc.
Despite my belief Filipe, I think she should undergo standard treatment. The treatment for tms for cancer is very hard and there maybe some who put their all into it and fail. Therefore why not do both, so you can have both modalities working together. The only thing is you have to help her not become scared or annoyed by the treatments. Get the book radical remissions or when the body says no. They are about cancer patients that got better from basically tms treatment and not letting the cancer consume their mind. There is some talk about herbs and diet in radical remissions which I think are just placebo reactions but if you read between the lines you will see that it was just basically tms treatment that helped them. Please note that these radical remissions are a rare occurrence because it is rare for the person not to be afraid of their cancer, but I can tell you it is the ones who really don't care about it are the ones that do the best. Try to have her figure out any tms symptoms she currently has and treat them as tms and that may be her guide to help her get better. I wish her the best. |
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alexis
USA
596 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2015 : 06:52:37
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"If she doesn't work with these patients day in and day out, she does not have the experience to accurately comment on this subject."
I heard these same words from a "Lyme specialist" only a few weeks ago; that's why we have double blind controlled studies. Practicing physicians can get some great ideas and make some interesting observations, but as a stand alone it isn't objective and it isn't science. I'm not calling these observations by any means useless, just very weak evidence in most cases and often with another observer down the road seeing and interpreting something else in his or her patients.
Filipe, your wife and her beliefs come first right now. Most breast cancers are treated successfully without TMS interventions (which are extremely rare), so even if there is a link, don't drive yourself nuts if your wife has other ideas. I agree with Ace's recommendations for helping your wife, but just want to balance it with the reality that "doing both" may not be your decision to make. And there may be third and fourth options more important to her. Heck, if she wants someone chanting over her while waving crystals that's her call at this point (assuming finances can handle it). Just make sure you are listening and open and that's most of the job.
I'll be away from the board a while but hope all goes well and wish you both the best. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2015 : 08:30:06
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"There are also several conditions which Sarno suggest emotions may play a role including: autoimmune disorders, cardiovascular disorders, and cancer."
From the TMS Wiki |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2015 : 17:10:25
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Hi Fillipe,
Now is probably not a good time to offer TMS reasoning to your wife. She probably has a different set of beliefs compared to you. Like my wife she possibly has had her fill of TMS if she has been with you through your recovery as you say. I also know of the ups and downs you mention that often ended up in arguments and bad feelings. As we absorb TMS in our recoveries I believe we change our personalities and perhaps become Jackle and Hyde characters at times, we become infatuated with our new found beliefs.
I too had a family member my sister in law deal with Cancer. It was a new experience for me and I reached out to this forum for help. I received a cross section of advice, all of it very helpful in my time of need. One piece of advice that stuck was that I was not responsible for this event. I backed off and read many Google articles on how to deal with a cancer patient. My sister in law recovered from a very rare and nasty abdominal cancer, and she is in remission. The surgeries and treatment she underwent seemed horrific and somewhat barbaric, but the best that medical science can offer at this time.
This winter my wife had the first of two knee replacements, a horrible experience for her to endure. I questioned how TMS might play a part in this arthritic ailment. The surgeon “an outsider” made the link when he visited her after the surgery. He scolded her for not taking care of herself. He knew from the condition of her knee that she put others first, was an endearing mother and wife. He had the forth sight to say her immune system had been battling the inflamed knees for years and years. In his opinion the knees were “pre-cancerous”. This is my example, perhaps cancer might be TMS also, but who really knows.
I took the cue from the surgeon’s comments to become chief cook and bottle washer. I did everything for her day and night. It was an opportunity and privilege for me to become the husband I always wanted to be. I did this without resentment with unconditional love. It was now her time and we spent many hours discussing her self esteem and future desires. During this time I kept my TMS views mostly to myself, I felt she did not need the confusion and mental strain that comes with TMS theory. In addition it would have diverted the attention to myself and not her.
I know of many cancer patients that have recovered from Cancer to remission. In all cases whether pancreatic, breast or abdominal they received support from church family and friends.
Fillipe, I wish you luck in your quest to become the husband you should and could be, as a fellow TMSer I have faith in you.
Ref:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=8835
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years, is almost gone.
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
Edited by - andy64tms on 05/28/2015 17:13:40 |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2015 : 21:14:35
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| Hi Filipe - I have not got rid of cancer, but it has not progressed in 7 years, and I have no symptoms. My doctor says it is because of my attitude toward it, I don't worry about it, I stay happy and positive, don't think about it much at all. I think it is related to tms, in my own experience. |
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filipe
Portugal
280 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2015 : 02:13:29
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Thank you all so much for your kind replys. I was about to leave home when I saw that I had 7 replys to my thread :). I have to read them in full detail. 3 weeks ago, more or less, before My wife got sick I was feeling almost immortal. I thought that I was in control of my health. I read about the New German Medicine once, and I was aware of negative emotions in cancer. However, I cannot just opened my wife's head and programmed her brain. I always insisted with her to stop takin Antidepressant drugs. I thought that she needn't need them. But she was very fearfull od leaving them. She confesed me that during my recover from chronic pain, she hated me. That's why she kept taking Antidepressent drugs.
Well she is calling me, so I have to leave right now :)
Anyway, yesterday I saw this documentary:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTGye7kA6rM
I'm not very old, I don't live in the USA, I live in a country where info, wasn't available until some years ago (we have a dictatureship). and I was lead to believe all my life that cancer was like Death. And that Drs were like gods. I was wondering, what happened to such "cures" as ESSIAC and Hoxsey? Was it Placebo?
My wife has to take her left breat off in surgery :( But I'm more affraid of Chemio and Radiotherapy :(.
If only I could help her choosing the right treatment...
Just one more thing, John Sarno's tell us abou epidemics. Couldn'y Breast Cancer be one, like Carpal Tunnel syndrome, or back pain? Why? Becaus woman are so affraid of it... since they are born... For instances, this year she ahd a friend that also develope breast Cancer. She was alywas talking with her, and about her... I remember one, when my wife had a friend with thrioid problems (hypo), my wife also deveolpe a litle beningn nodule in the thyroid. These could be coincidences also... I don't know....
Thanks my friends :)
Filipe
Sorry for all the spelling errors... usualy I try to correct them, but now I more interested in "speaking" with you ...
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Edited by - filipe on 05/29/2015 02:37:12 |
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filipe
Portugal
280 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2015 : 08:46:55
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Dear ACE.
I loved your reply. Thank you so much. We are going to deal with cancer following both approachs indeed. Why? Because Cancer is much more scary than chronic pain. But it is my personal believe that cancer is a form of TMS. And I guess everybody knows it in their hearts, that is why spontaneous remission do happen. It is the fear of cancer, and the need to act rapidly that makes us have doubts. When someone is in panic, we cannot judge right.
When I was sick, with chronic pain, what was almost killing me was the fear of having a dreadfull disease such as MS, or Reflex Sympathetic Distrophy, etc. All my symptoms point to those diseases or pseudo diseases.vI had all the neurological symptoms of a dreadfull neurological disease. Not only pain, but numbness is diferente parts of my body. Rednesse, etc. In other words, what was almost killing me was that I believed I was sick. This sensation of being sick, controlled my life for 2 long. My hands were cold like ice, I felt my body numb from my head down, I had several heart problems, wich lead me to the Emergency room. I had heart surgery schedule. Untill I final i heard about Dr Sarno. Even so, It took me almot 2 years to convinced my self I was fine. So through knowledge, and the help of true wonderful person, like Dr. Sarno and his books was the key for healing. I could be dead right now. I got better overnigh, and I said to myself. No! My brain is not going to deceived me anymore.
When you reach the point where you are sure that you're the one that is doing this to yourself and accomplish to distract yourself from the STUPID pseudo disease, that is when you are cured. For me, when I stop searching about the physical explanation for my problem I got CURED.
I'm sure My wife is sick because of me. I'm also sure that sehe knows she developed cancer because of stress and the worry shea had been trogugh because of me and the need to be well for my son. But there is a "man" dressed in white that is scaring us since we were born telling us that cancer is deadly, and that we need more Money/research to cure cancer, and that natural cures are miracules or pure luck.
For me Breast Cancer is like other TMS epidemics. But as in the stage play Doubt: A Parable. I have DOUBTS.
Thanks,
Filipe
When I talk about TMS, I talk about Psychosomatic. |
Edited by - filipe on 05/29/2015 09:12:20 |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2015 : 08:55:30
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Back in 1935, Dr. John H. Stokes of U. of Pennsylvania, wrote a paper titled: "Functional Neuroses as Complications of Organic Diseases". the first item on that list is:
"The sense of must or obligation; the unending stretch of things ahead that simply had to be done."
The urge to do thing, the urge to get it over with, the urge to hide, to run, to finish, to..... whatever. That urge is killing us. Stop the urge. Stay quiet. Accept it. accept it. Let go. Let go. Be still, life is perfect. It is exactly the way it suppose to be.
Filipe. Life is what it is. Try to accept it. Don't fight back. Don't worry about the future. Right at this moment, fill your life and your family with love and appreciation. It will be good for you and her whether you're dealing with cancer or tms or any other disease.
The moment we stop feeling we must ---- something is the moment we start to heal.
Of course, your wife should take Ace's advise and stick with what her doctor recommend. Be fearless and fill her mind with love, peace, and acceptance.
Best of wish to you and your wife. |
Edited by - balto on 05/29/2015 08:57:01 |
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filipe
Portugal
280 Posts |
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susan828
USA
291 Posts |
Posted - 05/29/2015 : 20:26:18
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This is worth watching, felipe. I have cancer myself and follow this diet along with a bunch of supplements that are supposed to halt the process. Will it work? I don't know...getting tested in 2 weeks to see if my marker has once again risen. Can't hurt to eat these foods, which we eat anyway: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjkzfeJz66o
You also may want to google Beta 1,3D Glucan and cancer. |
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filipe
Portugal
280 Posts |
Posted - 05/30/2015 : 01:15:51
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Thanks Susan :)
Can someone tell me what is Dr Sarno's position on food diet? I'm affraid it is the "Dos" and the "Don'ts" again. For me I eat what I want, despite reducing on sugar, and I'm fine/cured.
Also, we were offered two kind of treatments. Surgery 1st to remove breast and then chemo or, chemo first and then surgery, and maybe chemo again.
I really wanted to avoid chemo. What do you think?
Should one baby a the place where is the cancer? Or should há I think, just Forget that the problema is there and act normaly? I did this with my arms, and elbows... That's when I got cured...
By the way, Ace, what is your personal opinium? |
Edited by - filipe on 05/30/2015 01:20:26 |
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filipe
Portugal
280 Posts |
Posted - 05/30/2015 : 17:15:31
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Is this true?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dying-Be-Me-Journey-Healing/dp/1848507836/ref=lh_ni_t?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE
Is it a case of extreme TMS? In this book, she got cancer only by knowing that their closest friend also got it. So Like sarno said, it is like an epedemic that a spreads, from friend to friend. It is very suspicious, because this year my wife had a friend that had breast cancer a few months after her... conincidence? Tell me ACE, speak to me...we are almost there... she was in panic... everytime I look at her, when she was alone undressing she was examining her breast constantley... she was obsesses by breast cancer, like I was with my elbows, and pain, and arms...
TMS for me is the only explanaition for people to get cured so rapidly from cancer, right? Please help me to believe... give me examples, such as this one...this gives me hope, and with hope I can help my wife... for me there is no miracles, except for the miracle of living, and the power of our body, and love, etc...
thank you dear friends :)
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Edited by - filipe on 05/30/2015 17:35:11 |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 05/30/2015 : 21:03:17
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Hi Filipe - I know it's hard, but try not to blame yourself too much.
Everyone goes their own path. Just my opinion, but I can't help but think the treatment for her first cancer makes her vulnerable to another type of cancer. The German New medicine is interesting, too. You sound like you are very supporting to her, you are a good man. |
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filipe
Portugal
280 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2015 : 02:32:08
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Thanks Altherrunner for your kind words. when you say that "treatment for her first cancer makes her vulnerable to another type of cancer", do you know any side effects of Imiquimod/Aldara (that is what she used to treat it)? Also she take antidepressant. I read that antidepression drugs could cause breast cancer.
I love her. And most of all I love my child. He is so happy right now. And I know if something bad happen to my wife, my son's life will be affected for the rest of his life. I've been talking to her lately, and she doubted that I loved her, despite we're stll marrid. The thing is that I was to absorved with my hobby, which takes me me a lot of spare time, and made me "Forget" my chronic pain. I do music, and also funny movies. I woulld show them to you here if they were translated to english :). I was trying to make it up for the 5 years lost due to chronic pain. I also need her to helpe me filming the movies, so I keep boring her :(. As she said (you convinced me by exaustion).
So I was a little absent from my duties at home. She always complaints about me not cleaning the house, doing domestic stuff, and most of all, since I lost my faith in the medical industry, I was always "threating" her that I don't our son to get more vacines. I'm not an extremist but, I was angry at her, I was angry at DRs, so I use this as a weapon against her. (I cannot believe I'm exposing my whole life here :)) Don't care, my wif's health is what I care right now.
Anyway I was thinking, maybe that is because Dr Hamar (GNM) is so furious about all this. Because she Knows cancer is Psychossomatic... and its not being studied that way.
PS: I found this warning about aldara.... crap!!!!
http://www.doctorsaredangerous.com/aldara.htm
http://www.townsendletter.com/May2006/aldara0506.htm
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Edited by - filipe on 05/31/2015 03:15:24 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2015 : 18:56:33
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| Yes flipe. I'm almost certain cancer is tms with obsessional components,epidemics, and shifting into other diseases (usually chronic pain), after its treated through a standard approach. Just do the standard treatment including chemo. Then after that continue to treat it as tms. If it shifts to chronic pain or something like this, at least it is not as scary as cancer and it is not life threatening. I do think diets and supplements as you have said are just placebos just like massaging a bad back or taking on physical therapy. The problem is I believe it is a severe form of tms. Severe tms is hard to reverse, and to be honest I think most people will fail with trying the tms approach because they may give up to soon or they may not know what is straining them or they may not know how to reverse the straining. What if you just did the tms thing and she failed, you will have regretted not doing the standard approach first. She also is not into tms like you are and may have a harder time. I wish her the best |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2015 : 21:40:18
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| Hi Filipe - I don't know about those specific drugs, I just have known people that have been treated for one type of cancer and have got another after recovering. Maybe the treatments just weaken the immune system. it wouldn't hurt to take foods or supplements that boost the immune system. There is no allopathic treatment for what I have, so I have tried naturopathic, Chinese medicine, vitamins, and a few other things. All of them helped but did seem to plateau after a while. |
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filipe
Portugal
280 Posts |
Posted - 06/01/2015 : 02:25:21
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My only concern is with Chemo... I'm affraid chemo side effects cause new cancers...
If you look inside all the books about cancer and changing your diet, they always talk about emotional issues as being a primry cause os cancer, namely fear. which is the worst of them. And you are right Ace, the big problem is that she is not 100% into TMS right now. She wants to follow conventional medicine (she is still open to rading the books about TMS). That's why she never left her antidepression drugs, even after I showed her a connection between cancer and antidepressants. It took me almost 5 years to accept it, and Cancer urge you to act promptly. In our hearts, we new that the stress I caused her would be manifest phisically in her body, WE KNEW IT...
I remembre that Sarno talked about someone that developed cancer do to the symptom imperactive. He said he developed cancer to shif their body attention from pain. He said it with all the words. Do you remember?
Have you seen this vídeo?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAF23j8OU3M
Thanks,
Filipe |
Edited by - filipe on 06/01/2015 02:31:48 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 06/01/2015 : 06:16:30
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| Filipe, you are guilt-ridden that you "gave" the TMS/cancer to your wife. You seem like a nice person from your posts, not someone who would give someone cancer. I think you should stop feeling this way. If we could willfully give people TMS symptoms, then who gave you yours? This can become a never ending blame game. We are all ultimately responsible for our own lives, the decisions we make and our health. |
Edited by - tennis tom on 06/01/2015 06:17:25 |
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Breast cancer - need support :(
