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fibri
Belgium
56 Posts |
 Posted - 01/21/2015 : 08:53:19
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I am currently on extended sick leave for burnout, following a couple of years of extreme stress mainly due to overworking.
I'm feeling overwhelming fatigue, chest pains, anxiety. Yes, I've been fully (yes, fully!) checked out medically and there is "nothing" physically wrong with me.
I have had TMS in various manifestations for over 30 years. I discovered Sarno's work 8 years ago and thanks to his books I recovered from 1.5 years of crippling back pain. And in the meantime I've been able to deal with the passing TMS symptoms that keep on coming. Till I was floored by this burnout, last October.
I am convinced that what I am going through now is yet another TMS manifestation. Doctors tell me I need to get a lot of rest, but no amount of rest seems to recharge my batteries and I am tired all the time, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. I was reading other topics in this forum earlier and had to lie down for half an hour to get the energy to come back and type this message.
My question to you here is this: should I "listen to my body" and rest until I get some strength back or should I try to fight through the fatigue. I'm worried that if I force myself to go for walks, etc., I'll just be draining my energy even more. I know I should be thinking "psychological" but I really don't have any energy to do the TMS work (talking to my brain, etc.).
I've felt for years that I am one of the percentage who Sarno says may need therapy, and I've known that while I have been able to tackle my TMS in the past, it always pops up in another symptom array. So I decided recently to invest in seeing a psychiatrist. He does not know Sarno's work (I live in Belgium so don't have the possibility to consult with any of Sarno's disciples!). But he claims to be specialised in psychosomatic illnesses, so I thought it was close. However, in my last 2 visits I've been disappointed as he is encouraging me to take anti-depressants. I think that would be just masking the symptoms, not dealing with the root causes.
So I came here to consult the experts! What's your opinion about resting vs fighting fatigue? And while we're at it, what about anti-depressants? I'm finding it hard to think straight, I'm so worn out; should I try to regain physical strength first?
I've read all the well-known TMS books including those by Sarno, Schubiner; The Great Pain Deception, Amir, Weekes, Hueftle... Can anyone recommend any other interesting books, particularly in relation to anxiety/depression?
Thanks for listening :-) |
Edited by - fibri on 01/21/2015 08:53:58 |
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fibri
Belgium
56 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2015 : 09:08:04
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| I forgot to mention that in December I tried going back to work but I got much worse after a couple of weeks and now I'm back on sick leave again. I really am unable to work (poor/no concentration, get stressed easily, anxiety, palpitations, shaking hands, find it impossible to deal with people without getting highly stressed, ...) |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2015 : 11:23:20
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Hi fibri
Here is the problem. When you do anything you do it with such force that you exhaust your body with normal activities. So my advice to you is never fight your symptoms or push through. Just gradually try to build your activity back up but with a new way of doing things. Do it in a relaxed way where you are not just trying to get your tasks of life just over with. It is really a flipping of your thinking. It will feel very strange and slow, maybe even "too" relaxed while you will have a constant urge to go fast and forcefully and strained like you used to, but you must resist the urge. You must train your mind in the new way which is not exhausting to the body. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2015 : 21:48:39
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quote:
Originally posted by fibri
I am currently on extended sick leave for burnout, following a couple of years of extreme stress mainly due to overworking.
What is going on at work to cause this do you think? Is it just too much work or is there
something else that is bothering you about the work environment? Is there some bad
relationships there that is making your inner self angry? Try to dialog about it. List all the
people you interact with and let yourself write about them. This can help bring you back
to thinking psychologically. Pay attention to any relationship that seems familiar to your past.
Good luck and keep your spirits up. |
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fibri
Belgium
56 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2015 : 05:39:17
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Thanks for your helpful comments. Ace1, quote:
Do it in a relaxed way where you are not just trying to get your tasks of life just over with.
. That's a good point. I don't tend to do things in a relaxed way - I can relax, when I'm reading, writing, etc., but when I do things I do them intensely, constantly trying to do it right. The ol' perfectionism, striving...
Miehnesor, good question - quote:
What is going on at work to cause this do you think?
. I've been here before, changed jobs after (in the same company), swore I wouldn't let it happen again yet here I am.
I'm trying to figure out why I have this workaholic tendency, constantly striving. I have realised (last night!) that a pattern in my work is that I am a change driver, always striving to find a better way to do things, improve things. I am appreciated at work but at the same time don't get the recognition. I get overt compliments (mostly from my peers and and other colleagues, not from my managers), along with more subtle "keep in your place, girlie" put-downs. So like two years ago I got a "promotion" to a new set of responsibilities (with a LOT more work to do) but without any raise or anything and without changing my official title (actually I got a new title that I could use internally "to help people understand my new role", but my formal title and job description on my HR record remained the same. How's that for a backhanded promotion!!!). ... I couldn't complain as I work in a company where being non-hierarchical and attaching no importance to titles is part of the company values. Catch 22.
But I accepted because I am more interested in doing a good job than in what my title is. As a result, I had double the work and promises of employing new people were dangled in front of me for two years while I struggled under the workload. Finally, I shouted loud enough (and cried, while begging my boss for help - yay feminism) and was given four new, temporary part-timers. However, by that stage I was already at breaking point (hence the crying) and the extra work of training them in, added to my existing workload, pushed me over the edge.
Now, the changes I was pushing and lobbying for are happening, in my absence, and other people are being put in the drivers' seats - and getting the credit. So yes, there's a lot of anger there. However, while i can easily see all the up-front reasons for my anger (there's more; that was the short version), I'm finding it difficult to go deeper and see the deeper patterns. It's like I get stuck on the surface .... |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2015 : 07:02:12
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| Hi Fibri, sounds like you're being royally f'ed-over by your boss(es), no appreciation, you do 90% of the work, others get the credit. Can you transform to become a consultant? |
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fibri
Belgium
56 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2015 : 08:49:57
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quote:
Originally posted by tennis tom
Hi Fibri, sounds like you're being royally f'ed-over by your boss(es), no appreciation, you do 90% of the work, others get the credit. Can you transform to become a consultant?
Hi tt. Yes and no. My line managers are f'ing me over but more broadly I am well treated; with a good salary and work conditions. Unfortunately we've been in a complete management changeover for the past 18 months and my managers have been more worried about hanging onto their jobs than looking after their staff. (Ironically, it's the ones who haven't been looking after their staff who are now in the line of fire, so I confess to feeling that it'll be sweet if they get payback!)
Overall, on all fronts, the past two years have been a time of change and stress at work. Some of my smarter colleagues have played the game of keeping their heads low and not rocking the boat while it's all happening, but I tried to both keep the ship afloat (doing all the extra work even though I couldn't get new staff) and to keep on making changes. So I made some anxious managers even more anxious :-). That hasn't won me any popularity contests, I know!
But I keep asking myself why can I not also manage to keep a low profile during rough times? Why do I have to play the hero? It's like I'm constantly trying to prove how good I am. "Look daddy! Who's a good girl!!?" Sarno's beautifully coined word goodism is my hallmark. So I live my entire life between two camps; the people who really appreciate my hard work, drive and enthusiasm, and the other camp barely veiling their resentment at me being "a f'ing smartass". The worst thing is that I hardly notice the first group but am constantly hurt by the second. Mainly because I think they're right.
No, that's not fishing for reassurance. I am a smartass and I rub people up the wrong way because I'm so goal-driven. And no matter how many times I hear "it's only a job" I take it all WAAAAY too seriously!
TMS personality, 100%. And that's why I have trouble getting over TMS. You can change things in your daily life, you can learn to live with your past, but boy is it hard to change your personality.
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2015 : 22:55:22
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quote:
Originally posted by fibri
TMS personality, 100%. And that's why I have trouble getting over TMS. You can change things in your daily life, you can learn to live with your past, but boy is it hard to change your personality.
Have you looked at John Bradshaw's work which is inner child or original pain. This can produce lasting change to the way you approach your life simple by connecting with the child within. It's not about changing your personality but becoming more at peace with yourself by bringing the child back into your life. Another good book on this subject is "Healing your aloneness" by Paul and Chopich (I think). |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2015 : 15:13:38
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fibri you sound sort of like me...for sure the TMS personality. I don't have as much responsibility at work but get that same dual feedback and sense of obligation. I'm glad to hear there is nothing physically wrong with you :) if you look at my posts lately you'll see I had an injury (originally unrelated to TMS, but TMS is now piggy-backing off it) which is off-tracking me. Things are easier when you know you don't have a physical basis for the issues.
I don't have a lot of global suggestions but do you like photography? I like to go for a walk with a camera in hand and have fun talking random pictures of whatever. It is still easy to pretend it's a race to "do it the best" but maybe it would give you a different perspective - walk to explore and not power through.
I'm not sure about anti-depressants. I think Sarno would say no, but you have to think if maybe concealing some of the symptoms would help you get a handle on things. Do you feel depressed, or just tired? If you don't feel like taking them, then trust your instincts, I think. One issue is they take a while to get on and off.
Good luck. I am doing so poorly healing myself, I hope at least everyone else is having success :)
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What were you expecting? |
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Burnout: fight the fatigue or listen to your body?
