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jennypeanut
103 Posts |
 Posted - 10/30/2014 : 14:04:53
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Every time I think I've moved past suffering from TMS it reappears as either anxiety or a physical thing. It has now found its way into my chest. I've been seen by two physicians. They have no real explanation other than "muscular". It's not heart related and I'm a healthy late 30s person. I know it's TMS. It moves around and feels like other TMS pain.
So, like usual, I have ruled out an emergency situation and am left feeling kind of like a failure. After all this time I still have it. I still struggle with health anxiety (also TMS). I still can't take my head knowledge and apply it to my feelings (what I know about TMS). It's like I have all these tools just floating at the surface but they have yet to become part of me.
I definitely feel enlightened and good about what I know. But then the TMS returns and I feel defeated.  |
Edited by - jennypeanut on 10/30/2014 14:06:09 |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2014 : 15:19:23
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quote:
Originally posted by jennypeanut
...I have ruled out an emergency situation and am left feeling kind of like a failure. After all this time I still have it.
You should feel exactly the opposite. You should feel victorious. You have TMS "on the run." It is upping the ante, giving you different symptoms in an attempt to undermine your newfound knowledge. It is not giving up without a fight.
You need to have a long term view of recovery. You should not feel "defeated" by short-term setbacks. There will be many. It is all part of the process. You must take a consistent, disciplined approach to how you think about and react to the symptoms. You must trust that over time, the symptoms will fade. Whether it takes days, weeks, months, or years is irrelevant.
You discount the progress you have already made when you say to yourself: "I know it's TMS." You are still experiencing symptoms, but you have banished much of the fear that goes along with them. This is significant.
Try not to be discouraged and accept the symptoms as a benign reminder to address your emotional health. Ignore them as best as you can. Trust that if you stay the course, they will fade on their own. Don't put a timetable on recovery. There is no quick fix. It is a life long change in your thoughts and behavior. |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2014 : 15:32:06
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JP,
I have experienced this also. Most people flip between anxiety and pain. Things changed for me when I stopped making anxiety wrong......it's just an emotion. Sure it doesn't feel nice but its designed to make you act.
We automatically think since we have anxiety then there is a problem with us as people. Anxiety is your brain telling you that you might not have a situation handled.......it's usually always fear of loss, perceived or real........so it's actually a positive thing.
Be ok with the anxiety, take a look at whats causing it and take positive steps to address it.......then your brain has no reason to suppress the anxiety and cause you pain.
What you're focusing on is SO important I simply cannot stress that enough. If you focus on what's not working in your life you will always have anxiety. Fear of the future is what it comes down to.
D
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Edited by - Darko on 10/30/2014 15:36:31 |
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jennypeanut
103 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2014 : 18:28:38
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Thanks Dave & Darko.
I think you are giving me more credit than I deserve. I haven't banished much of the fear. Maybe a little bit, but I very much have a problem with fear. It's irrational fear = health anxiety, hypochondria, TMS, your choice as to what to call it.
Fear of the future - exactly. This is exactly what I struggle with. You can sum it all up in that.
I am taking positive steps with dealing with all of this and I am seeing a counselor to help with the fear. What I don't get is that I am both anxious and symptomatic at the same time. And I'm very open and talk about my feelings. I know there is repressed stuff I can't access but I'm not a "stuffer". That piece still bothers me. I know "stuffers". They usually have back problems (LOL). So I'm frustrated that I journal, talk about my emotions, etc. and still am haunted with TMS. |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2014 : 23:55:48
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Ah yes welcome to the club, this is where I start to leave the Sarno theory behind. Read Hillbilly's posts, they helped me understand that tension is the real reason behind my pain.
Tension caused by fearing the future plain and simple. It's ingrained and going to counselling seemed like a waste of time for me. Not so long ago i posted some videos that will be an amazing help to you.
Basically you have to "choose" you life situation....no matter how bad it is you have to choose it, then you'll stop fearing it. It's a real mental leap, but I promise your life will change when you make peace with "what is"
Understand that what is happening is what is supposed to happen and you'll be find in the end. Believing that the universe supports you helps.
Change the way you look at the future to a positive thing and stay focused on that......the current negative situation is only temp....so dont worry about it, stay focused on where you're going and don't focus on the problems. You don't need a Councillor, just stop the monkey mind from being and focusing on the negative........then there is nothing to fear
D |
Edited by - Darko on 10/30/2014 23:57:04 |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2014 : 09:09:36
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quote:
Originally posted by jennypeanut
I think you are giving me more credit than I deserve. I haven't banished much of the fear.
The fear I refer to is that the symptoms indicate something is seriously wrong and will escalate if you do not do something to "fix" them. You seem to be at the point where you at least accept the symptoms as TMS and are not fearing that something is seriously wrong with you that leads you to search out more doctors, more treatments, or in the worst case, surgery. This is the path that many who do not know about TMS, or cannot accept the concept, will take. If you are off that path, consider it significant progress. The rest takes discipline and patience. |
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jennypeanut
103 Posts |
Posted - 11/01/2014 : 09:46:10
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| Thanks guys. You are guys right? Darko? At any rate, I appreciate the support. I have been reading some of Hillbilly's posts. Good stuff. He too is against counselors. I don't know - I've seen a great deal of help from a counselor in the past in terms of handling very bad family situations, etc. But I can always take what I like and leave the rest, right? I'm gonna keep on reading and keep on keepin' on. I've had a particularly rough week because I've had a very strange and weird virus. I struggle with the notion that all illness is TMS. So if you expose a TMS healed person to Ebola in a very obvious way - you can't tell me they won't get it. There are real things that hurt our bodies. I had read Steve O's book which I thought was great but when I found out he claims to no longer get sick I thought that was off. I mean, really? That actually sort of set me back for a while. I get it - a healthy mind = healthy body. But we are human and there are human viruses. I don't want to argue but some of that really bothers me. And no offense to you Darko, but the belief that counselors are no help, well, we are all individuals. What about someone who has experienced a rape or war stuff? A counselor is very helpful. CBT can be a wonderful tool. Again, I don't mean to ruffle feathers. Just some thoughts I have. And I claim no brilliant mind or long list of education or much experience with TMS. I'm just thinking aloud. |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2014 : 12:19:35
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I didn't say counselors aren't helpful. In some cases they're vital, and if it's helping you, then you should continue regardless of what anyone says.......in the context of anxiety, I believe one can free themselves without counselors.....big difference.
D |
Edited by - Darko on 11/02/2014 12:25:47 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2014 : 17:49:50
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quote:
Originally posted by Darko
...going to counselling seemed like a waste of time for me.
...You don't need a Councillor,...
D
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2014 : 19:56:13
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| Refer to my above post.........or is my English not clear? |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2014 : 20:24:21
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| Your English is clear--it's your ozzie that's fuzzy. |
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jennypeanut
103 Posts |
Posted - 11/02/2014 : 20:56:36
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Meanwhile, while you have been bickering... TMS is on the run! It's acting so crazy it's comical! I was sick this week with a virus (fever, headache) and have little kids and the hubs let me rest in bed this weekend. Well, I don't think lying around is good for TMS. I think it wants you to lie around and ruminate about what it's doing. Well, I have caught on. I am on to you, bastard! (talking to the TMS; clarification to avoid further fighting). It has moved all over my chest, to my joints in my knees, ankles, wrists (it's old romping ground) my neck, my back, my shoulder! Craziness! As soon as one thing would stop hurting it was on to the next! I'm not free of weird pain but I am somehow (hopefully not just momentarily) free of the fear. I know what this is and I am just going to live life.
Wish me luck. |
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Can't seem to kick it
