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SuperKev
USA
7 Posts |
 Posted - 10/24/2014 : 17:38:34
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Hi, all and thanks in advance. First, some background.
OK so I am a TMS serial victim going back decades. From mystery Achilles tendon pain to chronic sinus infections to gout – oh and back pain. Over the years I have kicked all of these through my TMS work, but my body then throws me a new curve ball. grrr.
I need some positive reassurance usually when I have a relapse – it worked when I posted on this site for my (new and surprising) gout problems a couple years ago, which I since got rid of after realizing it was a big distraction with no logic behind it. (I mean I had no uric acid in my labs)
Years ago when I had a serial set of tms pain issues to work through, it included chronic ingrown toenails. But that was 15 – 20 years ago.
About two weeks ago I was picking at a small scab on my big toe, which over a couple days became inflamed and resembled an ingrown toenail. I went to the podiatrist and snip snip, he did soem minor surgery removing part of the nail… but instead of getting better, my toe swelled in the part right where my nail was cut so it was ingrown again literally days after the surgery. So I went back, and the dr once again again repeated the surgery, saying there must have been a stray piece of toenail stuck there. And yet, again, it is happening days after the second snip – a mystery swelling as if my ingrown toenail wants to stay that way.
I just moment ago got very angry – there is no explanation. My toe is not infected (and hasn’t been – the dr was never worried about that despite the mystery swelling). He insisted I should be fine after both surgeries – no complications expected… And yet, my nail bed is swelling over my cut nail again. Three days after. My toe was feeling fine, I took the bandage off, and I almost saw the skin start to swell over the nail before my eyes as if to taunt me.
When my tms started 20 years ago with Achilles tendonitis my doctors insisted there was no reason for it… It was a mystery. And then I found Sarno and boom, I was fine after a day of yelling at my brain.
I feel like I am doing the same thing to myself now – there is no explanation for why this is happening from a medical point of view. – so I am determined not to go back and repeat the exact same operation for a third time in three weeks. I am yelling at myself and trying to work through it.
I am under a lot of stress and have had a lot of floating TMS issues the last two months– first some sinusitis I stopped in its tracks after three days, some sores in my nose I talked myself out of, and a brief return of my ankle issues. All disappeared within a couple days. And now this.
I am aware of why I have stress (money, unending work responsibilities, plus stress navigating the NYC schools for my daughter). And this series of toe related incidents have done a great job distracting me… I am very distracted. And yet I am done. Done with this.
Anyway, any comments will be appreciated, Maybe I just needed to vent. Many thanks.
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njoy
Canada
188 Posts |
Posted - 10/25/2014 : 12:25:06
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It was good to hear from another chronic TMSer, SuperKev. I'm one, too. I have fixed so many health problems with Dr. Sarno's assurances but a month (or maybe a year) goes by and up comes something else. Now you've given me something new to consider, toe swelling  I don't want that because I'm diabetic and a doctor would want me on antibiotics which is SO not going to happen unless I'm very sure there's no other solution.
I'm not even going to tell you about my latest round of TMS. It's working very well to keep my mind off my previous anxieties but only by driving me up the wall.
Do you find that yelling at yourself is helpful? I do, to some extent, but it doesn't work for me with a major attack. |
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SuperKev
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 10/26/2014 : 16:08:21
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Hi, njoy, and thanks for the response. You know when I first discovered Sarno 23 years ago, it was after 5 months of debilitating Achilles tendonitis during my senior year in college. I read the book, yelled at myself all night. And was fine the next day I had occasional relapses and the yelling worked.
Since then sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't -- sometimes ignoring works. I guess I try to do both. i try to get into my subconscious through anger and repition-- stop distracting me from my real issues, stop causing me unnecessary pain, stop tricking me. But then I also try to go about my business not thinking of it. i guess when the doubt and panic creep in , that is when I yell. Can't say it always works as easily as the first time. Right now it is kind of working with my post-op ingrown toenail crapola -- it defies all logic what is happening, and I know it is bs. So I try to ignore it and walk through the pain It goes away. then it sneaks back up and i shout at myself.... I am better than i was but still have that nagging anxiety that means I haven't conquered it yet.
Anyway, thanks for responding!
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tonail / toe issues-- need to vent, need support
