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susan828
USA
291 Posts |
 Posted - 10/09/2014 : 09:10:48
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I haven't been on here since November. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in June 2013. Just saw my name mentioned on Mala's thread. Someone said I was scared off. I wasn't scared off; maybe a little perplexed because some people thought cancer is TMS and I don't know if everything can be attributed to it.
I posted back then really because I wish I had seen a doctor earlier. I kept thinking it was IBS and therefore TMS. My Mom had just died and I thought "of course, I am stressed". Until the pain became more than just a stomach ache and I went for tests. The rest is history. I posted that back then because I didn't want anyone to wait as long as I did and blame everything on TMS. I know Sarno says always rule out disease but I put too much belief in the psychological and wound up in stage 3. I wish I had caught it earlier.
Had 5 months of chemo which ended in December and now I have something on cat scan that has to be watched. Marker # rising which is not good.
We all suffer with the "what ifs". What if this pain is really something. And my biggest nightmare came true. For someone who has pretty bad health anxiety since childhood, this really shook me up. Every time I get a pain now, I think that it's a manifestation of cancer, my adrenaline kicks in and I debate whether or not to go to an emergency room. It's a terrible way to live and I am working with a cognitive therapist who understands this and is helping me somewhat but I have a long way to go. I also have to find a way to live when I am petrified of dying sooner than my time and the fear of how I am going to die, in pain, in a hospice, it's just horrible to think of my future. I know few of leave this world easily but the outlook for this particular type of cancer stinks.
Maybe someone can give me some tips...what do you do when you get a pain and freak out? How do you calm down and see it as the normal aches and pains every human gets? I have all of the books (Sarno, Steve, etc.) but would love to hear it straight from the people here who experience this type of panic themselves. Thanks :-)
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susan828
USA
291 Posts |
Posted - 10/10/2014 : 08:09:07
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| 66 views and nobody even said hello, not even the people I knew before. It doesn't make one feel too good about returning. I don't get it. |
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Bugbear
United Kingdom
152 Posts |
Posted - 10/10/2014 : 08:30:58
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Hi Susan
I haven't logged on here in ages. I think that people may lurk but there aren't many who log on and post so don't feel too dejected. I saw your post and wanted to respond. I'm sure others will eventually.
I have no personal experience of cancer so I have no conception of what you have been through but can at least show you some compassion. It's good that you recognise your anxiety regarding your health and are addressing this by seeing a therapist. The only other recommendation or tip I would suggest is taking a short course in mindfulness. I did a version of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course last year which taught me how to calm myself down. My ANS would be on permanent overdrive and my mental and physical symptoms out of control otherwise. Worrying involves living in the future. We can only live in the present.
Best wishes,
B |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 10/10/2014 : 08:41:39
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As you can see this is more the TMS fight club, people come here more to fight and troll then discuss TMS. Here TMS authors are called "book peddlers" "profiteers", bashed for wanting to make a dollar on the sale of a book. TMS Oncologists are called "ignorant and arrogant" and my carefully thought out words "drivel". Not exactly the kind of place that encourages the exchange of free thought.
I'm comforted in the fact that if the Good Doctor ever had the temerity to step foot here he would be derided as he is by his peers in the medical world, the irony being this site is dedicated to TMS and Dr. Sarno. Try the TMS Wiki also, there's a Support Forum there. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 10/10/2014 : 19:26:56
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Hello Susan, I sat down to respond a few times but then didn't really know what to say & didn't want to say anything that would upset or offend.
I am very sorry to hear about what u have been thru & what u r going thru now. Chemo can take a big toll on the body & you need to keep yrself well nourished to keep yr immune system strong & fit. Are u still working? Are there family members or friends that can help & support & with whom u can discuss the future?
Do discuss yr fears with yr doctors & therapist especially the pains that u feel. Maybe they can help you to distinguish between what kinds of pains to worry about & which ones to ignore as just normal pains for which u can take painkillers.
Is there anything you can do for yrself to take yr mind off the situation for a while. Maybe pamper yrself with a massage, take a short holiday somewhere, be with ppl whose company u can enjoy.
Perhaps you'd like to post on the TMS wiki forum where there are some tms experts that could give you better advice.
Take care & good luck!
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
Edited by - mala on 10/10/2014 21:43:33 |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 10/10/2014 : 19:55:23
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Hi Susan - sorry to hear about what you have gone through. I had bad tms, now have had leukemia for 5 years. There is no mainstream treatment for the type I have, so I have been trying other things.
I have been taking dca for a year, it helped but started to plateau.
Last couple of months, I have tried low dose naltrexone, I have not had any blood tests, but I feel better, and have more energy. I have also dropped a few extra pounds since taking it. if you google low dose naltrexone there are a few helpful sites. The cost is very low.
Good luck and best wishes to you. |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 10/10/2014 : 21:32:01
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Hi Susan,
I was glad you posted, because I had wondered how you have been doing. Thanks for the update.
I also don't really know how to respond. Don't have any advice; just struggling along with my own situation these days. Can't say my TMS is getting any better overall. Waxes and wanes. And, of course I have a lot of health anxiety of my own, with many people close to me recently having been dx'd with life-threatening illnesses.
>It doesn't make one feel too good about returning. I don't get it.
Well, we all come w/ our own baggage, and this board hasn't been very uplifting *at all* lately and I had basically decided to disengage. So, responding to you, because "you weren't feeling too good about returning" is actually a rare exception.
Anyway, I do wish you the best for restored health and well-being.
RSR |
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susan828
USA
291 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2014 : 11:58:58
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Thanks so much to everyone who replied. I remember everyone but of course not the specifics so much. I know for myself, before I was diagnosed, if someone told me they had cancer, I didn't know what to say. People are afraid to say the wrong thing. I tell few people because I just want to be treated the same and not have people feel sorry for me.
The thing is, I had pre-existing problems. We all do. So it's hard to differentiate the old pains I had before (99% of them TMS) from what I feel now post-hysterectomy. I still hurt from the operation which was over a year ago. Thanks for the mindfulness tips. I have a few books on that and really should buckle down and read them.
I have been so consumed with the cancer that I have rarely checked this board. Now that it is more integrated into my head, I am back to obsessing about the old pains and whenever I feel something, I panic and obsess and it ruins my day. I am trying to resume my life as it was but with stupid cancer and not knowing how long I will live looming over my head, it's so hard. I post on a support group and go to one but honestly, the people are not as understanding as all of you. I feel much more commonality with TMS people than cancer people. You just understand what it's like to live like this. Thanks again for replying. xoxo |
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Hi, 11 months later still alive with cancer
