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marsha
252 Posts |
 Posted - 07/17/2014 : 17:55:40
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After 7 years of constant pain, 2 meetings with Dr. Sarno,trying anything and everything that might give me relief I give up. Seven years of therapy..no results.
I know Dr. Sarno is correct, I have no doubts. Yet here I am at the end. I can no longer live with the pain. My soul is gone. My positive out look doesn't exist. Getting up in the morning is torture. My life is pain.
Good bye.
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2014 : 19:09:47
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Hi Marsha, Your post is ominous and troubling. Have you talked with your husband and kids about what's going on? If you want to talk PM me here and I'll give you my cell. Have you tried talking with Nicole Sachs?
tt |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2014 : 19:18:02
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Marsha, the TMS Wiki has a SUPPORT FORUM that you should try, copy your thread over to there and you will get responses:
http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/forums/support-subforum.26/
Support Subforum:
Post in this section if you are "stuck" or need support with your journey. Our members are a mix of those who are living pain free lives and those still working through their program. This subforum is about building community and supporting one another as we manage or recover from our TMS. If you would like help with your personal case, this is a great place. It is a also a great place to introduce yourself and tell your story when you first sign up. |
Edited by - tennis tom on 07/17/2014 19:50:59 |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2014 : 22:27:19
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Marsha, I'm so sorry you are feeling SO bad. This is a TEMPORARY state, though.
I wish I could do something to help. Here are some phone #s if you need to TALK to someone, live:
the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-TALK (8255);
National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE
Article that may help in the moment:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
More online resources:
http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm
If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 911 or go to your local hospital emergency room right away.
I'm really sorry you've been in SUCH pain for SO long.
RSR
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Edited by - RageSootheRatio on 07/17/2014 22:43:33 |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2014 : 09:31:53
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quote:
Originally posted by marsha on 8/10/2013
I choose life.
...
Be true to yourself. Treat yourself as kindly as you can.
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Stop getting stuck on your body .AND live..
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2014 : 14:38:45
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| Marsha. Have you tried slowing down in everything you do as to calm your nervous system? Have you tried doing NOTHING about your symptoms including not using the body part affected until you calm your nerves enough to then proceed and to use the body part gently. Have you recognized that every task that is done by you is done in a manner of trying to get it over with and that you must flip your thinking to let things take as much time as they need? You must get rid of anticipation and on edge behavior. Have you learned to recognize when your irritated and annoyed with someone, (most commonly family members), and have you practiced preventing yourself from getting that way inside? Have you recognized conditioned situations where you have behaved in a strained fashion for so long or so intensely that you become strained automatically in these situations? Do you know the process of deconditioning is a very slow process if you practice what I list above? I hope you see something I listed above that you were not doing, which may give you guidance and hope for the future. |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2014 : 17:41:32
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| I am trying. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2014 : 18:41:59
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| One more tip, it's all about pushing yourself urges and tension. You want to prevent them and they may occur without any logical emotional situation. Keep it up and don't give up! There is no other way out of this but you can do it. |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2014 : 22:21:40
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Okay, I was in constant pain, day and night, sitting and standing and laying down.
Here is an unavoidable truth: when your central nervous system becomes sensitized to pain, it takes on a life of its own. A movement you know to cause pain will show up in a PET Scan or MRI in that part of the body before you even move. You become uber fearful, and afraid to move. The cycle can come on quickly and get worse and worse without intervention.
What kind of intervention? I read your "True believer" statement, about hardly ever taking and advil for pain. This is just plain wrong. Wrong.
Until pain is tamped down, whether by benzos or anti-depressants or opioids or a cocktail of it all, you will not be able to engage the brain to counter the pain. You pain is coming from a much more primitive part of the brain that reacts unconsciously. You cannot control this out of the box or whilst in the storm of pain. All the mental power in the work can't reach deep into the central cortex of base reactions.
Your plea is desperate, so I will waste no words. You must first seek help from whomever will listen to you; then you must get on medication that will ease your pain; and then you can begin the work of calming your anxiety and fear or TMS. You can fart around with the idea that this pain is the result of the blackness of your childhood, and certainly your responses to life can be formed from the past, but this can be unlearned. Right now, you are helpless but not hopeless. The pain that 99% experience on here is from FEAR. Sarno says so. Weekes says so. Low says so. And who wouldn't be fearful of pain. I sure as hell was. I wanted to die many times. So what did I do?
I experimented with medications through my doctor. And you know what helped settle me so I could think again? It was the old fashioned "Mother's Little Helper", the benzo. I did not want to take it. Nope. I was going to beat this all on my own, fight it. But fighting only made it worse. Finally I decided that I'd rather be dependent on a medication than dead. So I took first Ativan and then Valium, enough so I could ease my horrible muscle pain and give my brain a chance to retool.
Stop being a true believer. You owe it to yourself to explore TMS as an anxiety or nervous illness. TMS is Anxiety/Depression. Period.
Please, please, please, take something to ease the pain, and then work on the psychological. It is only logical to do it this way. Not for all, but for many, especially when there is a seven year history of chronic pain.
Please do this. If not for you for your husband and friends and others. Even for us on this forum!!!!!!
Much love.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 07/18/2014 : 23:07:09
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Hi Marsha,
I understand your pain, I really do. I have been in a very dark place twice in my life. 1st time I was about 22 and I couldn't walk, let alone do all the things a 22 yr old wants to do. I remember sitting on the kitchen floor very drunk and high with a large sharp knife planning the best way to bleed myself. I couldn't do it because of my mum.
I know despair and what a complete breakdown feels like. It sounds like you might be having a break down.......and i know you might not believe me but a breakdown is a good thing. A major break through is usually preceded by a break down. It's the universes way of forcing you to change......but you haven't up until now so it screws up the pressure until it breaks you.
You have 2 choices....keep living life the same way you have been up until now OR do something different..........you may not know what to do different but you must keep trying things until the situation improves.
The only way out is to accept what is, that doesn't mean you give it permission to remain....but it is what it is, so accept it.
I would contemplate that last sentence until you are ok about living with the pain.
No one is going to be able to help you, YOU have to decide for yourself whether you are going to allow your current situation to destroy your life. I know it's seems like youre living in hell and you wish sometimes you didn't wake up......but as Churchill said "When you're going through hell, just keep going"
You get one shot and this gig Marsha and everything you experience is designed to evolve you. However I understand it doesn't seem fair at times. I have said many times that this chronic pain is self development issue......we need to evolve to get past it and for some of us thats a hard journey.
Perhaps you might try and give up on healing for short while and figure out how to best live in the current situation....allow it! Then after that look at ways to make small improvements.
After you have made an allowance for your pain, then do the same for everything you judge to be sh*t in your life. Allow it all, no matter how much you hate it. You can still take steps to change a situation without being totally attached to it.
You may never become totally pain free, but it will get easier.
Also I totally second Back2-it's post.
When you're at the bottom, you can only go up or out. Up is the only way you can discover who you really are and what you're capable of.
The way I see it.....you haven't earned your stripes until you've been through this, and sometimes the best way to get past something is to go around it. Change your approach!!
You can do it, I did, so did Back2-it. Join the club so you can be there for someone else one day like we're here for you.
Listen to these......they helped me greatly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LSSjeqf5kA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9JgLgBtV-M
at about 1:57 is the most important message you could hear
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDd-_Mdeksc
Good luck
D
Ace.....great stuff! |
Edited by - Darko on 07/19/2014 01:12:37 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2014 : 05:02:22
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| Thanks darco, I hope it helps Marsha see something she wasn't doing and I hope it can help you and others. Great post yourself. I agree with back to it that it would not hurt to use pain meds temporarily until one gets the hang of treating ones self. Unfortunately, in my particular case (not everyone has this experience though), I did not get any relief from these types of meds. All they did was make me sleepy and woozy. If they have this sort of effect on the person, I think they would be of no utility. On the other hand if they really do help, then using them temporarily in the beginning can give you a break and give you confidence to keep going in treating yourself. |
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sue1012
USA
31 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2014 : 11:56:39
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Marsha, I just want to say that know you are not alone. I feel the same way a lot of the time, even though I know it is mostly TMS keeping me in my pained state. Believe me i KNOW how hard it is EVERY minute of EVERY day. I live it! We have to keep trying; there IS no other choice, Marsha. If you need medication, take it. I was finally forced to take something for suicidal thoughts from all the pain and misery and it probably saved my life. I don't have any sage advice, but i feel your pain and want to tell you to HANG IN THERE! You have to do it for yourself and all your loved ones. Please take care of and be kind to yourself. Sending you love and positive thoughts.
Sue |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2014 : 21:34:59
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Marsha I feel so awfully bad for you but you would have thought long and hard before deciding to give up on tms.
That is fine and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
If u read marsha's posts you will see that she has done everything possible including seeing sarno as well as doing therapy. Telling her otherwise is undermining her efforts.
I think it's time for her to move on & find relief wherever she can.
Marsha there is one thing though, u mentioned in your posts that u r reluctant to take pain medication . I don't think that anyone has ever said that it is wrong to do so. I imagine there r many many ppl who have taken meds on their tms journey to help them get over rough patches. Somehow we forget that the body too is important in mind body medicine and that it impacts on the mind. Which again impacts on the body.
Pls look to other methods and ppl for relief to get yourself out of this very dark phase that u r going thru.
My thoughts r with u as are my prayers. There is some excellent advice here but then how much of that have you already followed.
I hope u get relief soon.
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
Edited by - mala on 07/19/2014 22:54:01 |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2014 : 07:04:00
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quote:
Originally posted by marsha
After 7 years of constant pain, 2 meetings with Dr. Sarno,trying anything and everything that might give me relief I give up. Seven years of therapy..no results.
I know Dr. Sarno is correct, I have no doubts. Yet here I am at the end. I can no longer live with the pain. My soul is gone. My positive out look doesn't exist. Getting up in the morning is torture. My life is pain.
Good bye.
Marsha, how come you weren't in pain seven years ago? |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2014 : 16:43:36
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quote:
Originally posted by marsha
After 7 years of constant pain, 2 meetings with Dr. Sarno,trying anything and everything that might give me relief I give up. Seven years of therapy..no results.
I know Dr. Sarno is correct, I have no doubts. Yet here I am at the end. I can no longer live with the pain. My soul is gone. My positive out look doesn't exist. Getting up in the morning is torture. My life is pain.
Good bye.
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
Winston Churchill, quoted from Nicole Sach's TMS book TRUTH. |
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forestfortrees
393 Posts |
Posted - 07/25/2014 : 18:31:06
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Hi Marsha,
It makes me so sad to hear of the suffering that you have been through. I've only known you for just over five of those years, and yours is one of those usernames that it feels like I have followed for a very long time.
I remember feeling like you feel now - like there was no hope. There was hope for me and I believe that there is hope for you as well. Even if your pain continues, I believe that you can take back your soul and your positive outlook.
I have a lot more that I'd love to say, but I think it would be better to say it over the phone, where I can listen to you as well, as a friend. You can call me at (857) 250-3999 (if I'm not there, I will DEFINITELY call you right back) or you can email me at forestfortreesweb@gmail.com .
I would also definitely suggest following RSR's links. If none of them work for you because of your location, I believe that you can just google "suicide," and Google has special software that will suggest resources appropriate for your region (I could be wrong). From the reading that I've done, my sense is that the experts say that it does get better, even when it seems like it never can. The problem is that when things get that black, our minds don't think clearly, so we can't see it.
Please don't let this be the last we hear from you. I believe that there is hope yet. Please get in touch. |
Edited by - forestfortrees on 07/25/2014 18:31:38 |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2014 : 10:22:27
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I would never take my own life. I could never inflict that kind of pain on the people I love.
I didn't want everyone to think that I would do that. My post was a depressed desperate post. For me the end of the TMS journey, then end of optimism and finally feeling well enough to live my life in a meaningful way.
Thanks for all your good thoughts. They helped me a bit.
I will call you Forrest. It will be nice to speak to you.
Marsha |
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forestfortrees
393 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2014 : 16:19:16
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Thank goodness, what a relief! I'm sorry for the melodrama, but I know another old-timer with constant symptoms who attempted and almost succeeded. It taught me that you can never be too cautious because you never get a second chance to provide the support and referral you wish you had.
Looking forward to your call. Is there any chance we could do it after August 10? Something else has come up and I'm flat out until then. It would be great to get in touch, though.
My Video Success Story
www.thankyoudrsarno.org
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2014 : 10:30:50
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No problem. After the 10th it is.
Thanks |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2014 : 16:31:51
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quote:
Originally posted by marsha
I would never take my own life. I could never inflict that kind of pain on the people I love.
I didn't want everyone to think that I would do that. My post was a depressed desperate post. For me the end of the TMS journey, then end of optimism and finally feeling well enough to live my life in a meaningful way.
Thanks for all your good thoughts. They helped me a bit.
I will call you Forrest. It will be nice to speak to you.
Marsha
Sometimes you have to give up and continue to move on, rather than actively fighting something, and do the best you can. It is the acceptance. Many times it is the start of final healing.
Part of that might include something to try and make your pain more bearable.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
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forestfortrees
393 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2014 : 20:59:09
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quote:
Originally posted by marsha
No problem. After the 10th it is.
Thanks
yay! The goodist in me was feeling bad for asking for the time, but I really am looking forward to it.
My Video Success Story
www.thankyoudrsarno.org
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