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ssjs
USA
147 Posts |
 Posted - 04/12/2005 : 09:25:43
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As I read the posts, I feel so bad for those of you that are suffering, but I wonder, how many of you are activly in therapy?
While it is true that I have been in and out of therapy for the past 20 years, not only have I remained PAIN FREE since I read Sarnos book 20 YEARS AGO, (a twinge here and there that I cut to the quick) But I have a successful business, good relationships with most of my family, and i am generally happy.
Is it perfect? Absolutly not...people drive me crazy many times, my business is very hard and I certainly have eating problems which is how my tms manifests itself...but I work those things out with a therapist who has helped change my whole life.
So many feel that therapy should be short term, or it is worthless. Well a good friend once said to me...
"The only way someone can be truely independant, is to know that you have someone you can depend on."
Many of us do not have anyone, or we like to say that we can take care of ourselves...but I contend that it is not true...WE NEED SOMEONE and if we have to pay for it...well we pay for everything anyway, in one way or another.
Again, it has been about 20 years since I found Dr. Sarno through my aunt who used to work at Rusk. It took a couple of years till I fully absorbed the idea...But my job requires me to stand all day or drive for hours...I bend and wiggle any way I want to and i am fine, after having spent years on my back for 3 weeks at a time, told I had terrible discs, had horrible sciatica with totally numb foot that was partially parylized. Could't tap out a tune!
When i finally believed Sarno to the fullest, I actually started running with that FLOPPY foot...and suddenly it wasn't so floppy anymore.
My son who was very young at the time, remembers the moment I suddenly became less cranky...he actually told me this when he was a child. Of course it wasn't just that I was less cranky...I just knew more of what I was really angry about!
I am a tremendous advocate of therapy. It changed my life. The hell with the health insurance. Get a part time job...babysit...find a free clinic. GET YOURSELF WELL!
Dr Sarno has made it sound that therapy might not be so nessessary, but that might be the one thing I do not agree with. I thought my childhood had been perfect. Without knowing the truth, I would never have gotten better! Without a therapist, I would never have known the truth.
And you do not have to "figure it all out" to get relief. You just have to know that YOU HAVE SOMEONE YOU CAN DEPEND ON! And you are all such great people! You shouldn't be hurting!
As Shakespeare said..."Get thee to a shrink!" and if it still isn't working...
"Get thee to a more knowledgable shrink!"
just my opinion!
Sandy |
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MikeC
USA
43 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2005 : 10:51:21
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Sandy,
Thanks for that post. I have had back and leg problems on and off for the past twenty years. Most of the time controllable and minor and occassionally much more painful. I discovered Sarno about 1 1/2 years ago when I was doing okay but felt I could be better. Following the format the best I could brought progress and then a huge relapse in December. Mentally exhausted and deeply depressed, I went to see Dr. Martinez in Boston who is a TMS doc. MRIs show spinal stenosis which may or may not be the issue. We are still doing different things to find out for sure.
In the meantime, I started going to a psychologist in my area who deals with pain management, stress management, and behavioral therapy. I sit in his office and tell him how I hurt. Even when the pain isn't bad, there is the psychological aspect of the whole thing. (Will I feel worse tommorrow?, How will I feel a year, five years, ten years from now?, What if I can't go to work anymore?, etc., etc.) I talked to him about the Sarno philosophy which he certainly is aware of (he has been to different conferences with Dr. S). We are also going to work on meditation, cognitive belief distortions. I still have issues to vent but the two sessions have made me feel a little better.
You need to find someone to vent no matter what the issues are. While friends and family are helpful, I found that I was being a burden to them after awhile. You don't want everything coming out of your mouth being problems and issues. People will either intentionally or unintentionally steer away from you. I am lucky to have health insurance and this psychologist has been in the pain business for years. I also work for a hospital whose main clienetle is psychiatric disorders so did I hit the jackpot.
I realize that some people are able to work out their issues on their own. Marc (Baseball 65) seems to have a great system worked out. But some people can't do it or become such perfectionists, they think they are doing something wrong unless they see a professional. Since psychology is the cornerstone of the treatment, I think it is best to seek someone who does it for a living.
Good luck,
Mike C |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2005 : 14:11:06
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| I agree that therapy is worthwhile. I've found that the group therapy actually worked better for me than the individual therapy and it's a lot less expensive. It all depends on the group and what is the focus of the group. The group that I've participated I believe has been useful because it's main focus was healing childhood issues and it originated out of a Bradshaw workshop. Bradshaw work is very useful, as i've posted before, wrt TMS (although he doesn't know it). |
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2005 : 15:58:04
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quote:
Originally posted by MikeC
You need to find someone to vent no matter what the issues are. While friends and family are helpful, I found that I was being a burden to them after awhile. You don't want everything coming out of your mouth being problems and issues. People will either intentionally or unintentionally steer away from you.
I have found a good therapist, but I have such a problem with trusting, I haven't crossed the line yet to trust her enough to "vent" about things. She has even mentioned it, and told me last week that I had to know that I could trust her. I know it . . . but to practice it is difficult. I'm afraid of being judged, and then I start feeling like well, they have to listen because I'm paying for it, but she's probably bored, she probably thinks I'm a nutcase, yada, yada, yada. Any suggestions on how to get over the trust issue? |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2005 : 16:03:22
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quote:
I have found a good therapist, but I have such a problem with trusting, I haven't crossed the line yet to trust her enough to "vent" about things. She has even mentioned it, and told me last week that I had to know that I could trust her. I know it . . . but to practice it is difficult. I'm afraid of being judged, and then I start feeling like well, they have to listen because I'm paying for it, but she's probably bored, she probably thinks I'm a nutcase, yada, yada, yada. Any suggestions on how to get over the trust issue?
Yes ... just do it!!
You must be 100% open and honest with your therapist. You must not censor yourself in any way. You must always say the first thought that comes into your mind and take it wherever it leads you.
Your therapist is trained to help you, but she cannot help if you don't let it all hang out. She is not there to judge you. She must keep your conversations absolutely confidential.
The real value in Freudian therapy lies in free association. If you are not free to let your mind wander wherever it goes, and share everything with your therapist, then I'm afraid you are just wasting time and money. |
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ssjs
USA
147 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2005 : 17:29:19
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A good therapist WANTS to know how you feel about them...tell her if you think she may be bored! If she is good, she can point out to you whether it is just your perception, or if you really have a reason to be annoyed. It could be that you felt that your own family was bored with you, Who knows! but every thought leads to something...so if you do not let out your thoughts, your sessions are leading to nothing!
A good therapist is there for you. If you are a "nutcase" well so is everyone else!
We all have problems, and my therapist does bring many things back to my "pain"
But finally in my life, I can be angry when I am angry, sad when I am sad, and not feel like a "victim" anymore. and I do not hurt.
Sandy
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2005 : 02:38:49
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Michele, think about therapy a a safe place to let everything out - no-one else knows what you say - you are not going to hurt anyone's feelings.
Honestly, the relief you will feel if you let her know your darkest feelings and thoughts. It's a chance, like no other, to unburden all our past 'guilty' secrets.
It's not easy, you'll feel all over the place at first - but it's SO worth it.
I don't know how she did it, but my therapist, from the things I told her, was able to help me uncover the source of my emotional and physical pain.
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holly
USA
243 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2005 : 06:14:02
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I finally got into therpy the minute i retired. It is a luxury to be able to go! Now that I started I wouldn't dream of giving up my spot each week!. I find it invaluable now and learnt much about myself and the people in my day to day life(family members). I use to vent to my mom but she is gone now(which has brought on the 2 1/2 year foot problem that I am dealing with now). I can't say it has cured my TMS but it might of gotten worse without the therapy. I can only describe it like getting a weekly massage!  |
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2005 : 09:54:47
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| Thanks everyone for your comments. It actually brought me close to tears. I am meeting with my therapist today. Maybe I will see her in a whole new light. |
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I think everyone here could benifit from therapy
