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Waterbear
USA
19 Posts |
 Posted - 10/11/2013 : 18:46:11
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Hi All,
I just happened upon TMS in a post about tendonitis and now I’m here and looking for information.
If I had to describe myself in a phrase it would be: type A, hard-working, athletic, artist.
The last few years haven’t been very kind to me.
Age 24: Promoted to head of the art studio, in charge of 20 artists. Lots of work but I loved it. Enrolled in night classes. More work but still loving it. Got my best friend a job working for me.
Age 25: Bought a house. Single female, was feeling pretty good about being me.
Age 26: Graduate from night school, start working every night on making my portfolio better so I could get a new job in video games.
Age 27: By now my current studio is working like a well oiled machine. We’re kicking ass and taking names. We’re breaking productivity records (due to my organization and training techniques). I loved my studio.
Then one day, I walked into work with my best friend, and we both walked out w/o a job. No notice, nothing. They gave the job to my “assistant” who I’d been training for the past 3 months. I was “too expensive” now. They fired her for being my friend. It was “best for team morale”.
I was floored, lost, angry, and betrayed. I started to have anxiety attacks every single day.
I was only able to get a job as an “art intern” at a game studio. (Trust me, I applied everywhere, all kinds of art fields).
They gave me a crappy desk and chair and wrote things like “newbie” and “junior” on my windows. This, after being in charge of 20 artists, drove me crazy. I was making only $50 dollars more than my unemployment checks and barely supporting my mortgage. My back started hurting one month into the job. I continued to have an anxiety attacks every single day for the next 6 months. This was supposed to be my dream job and I hated it, every second, even when I loved the art I was making, the anxiety sucked the fun from it.
Age 28: Back still hurts but I’m getting more respect at work and got a slight raise which helped a lot. I started to jog and stretch my back. The panic attacks went away.
Age 28.5: I was feeling kind of like my old self and was made lead artist of a video game, but as it turns out that just meant critiquing crappy outsourcer work from 10am to 3am, more disappointment.
I started a weight lifting, running and dieting program with the guys at work.
I was losing the extra weight, my back pain and panic attacks totally stopped, and I felt amazing, back to the confident 25 yrs old me.
The game studio closed and I lost my job with only 3 days notice this time. I felt the anxiety attacks coming back.
I decided that I wasn’t going to let that happen again. I couldn’t deal with another 6 months of anxiety. I hit the gym hard. 3 hour workout in the morning with no warm up beforehand. If I felt an attack coming on during the evening, I’d walk for 1-2 miles until it passed. I only did this super strenuous routine for one month when…
Age 29: I started to get pain in Nov 2012 in my right knee. “Ok”, I thought, I’ll cut down on weights and hit the elliptical.” My left knee started to act up.
Still looking for work and unable to do much with my legs, I turned to my other source of relief, art.
By January, I had pain in both elbows. Like horrible burning like fire pain. I could no longer make game art b/c my left arm was so bad. I could, however, do graphic design with my right arm.
I have a job I really like making medical graphic design now. My boss is cool and my pay is good. I feel happy and respected at work now.
I was diagnosised with patellar tendonitis and ITBS, and tennis/golfers elbow which pinched my ulnar nerve. My xrays are clean, I have not gotten an MRI. They don’t seem to want to give me one. Sometimes my wrist hurts too.
I’ve done physical therapy for both knees and elbows and it has helped a lot actually, but the pain is still there. ((For example, when I started PT I couldn’t do stairs w/o using my arms to drag myself up and my arms felt like they were getting stabbed by hot needles all day. Now, my knees can have good days and I can do stairs with min. pain. My arms hurt but not constantly, but I still can’t draw for more than a few mins. ))
It still really bothers me that I can’t run and I can’t draw. I feel like the 2 most important pieces that make me were torn away. I’m worried about it all the time. Maybe it won’t ever go away? Will I ever run again? Will I ever draw again? What will I do if I lose my job again and still can’t draw? Will I ever just be able to go for a walk with friends and not have to worry about braces, stretching, if I’m having a good day, flare ups, additional injury, etc.
Last week, my ankles started to hurt ( was just apple picking and I don’t remember doing anything to them, the next day, tons of pain while walking in a hallway, and the pain has been there for the past 2 weeks)
I’m suspicious about my ankles b/c that pain came on just about when my knees felt good enough to try running again. However, there’s no swelling in my ankles, but sometimes the ligaments near the bones are sore to touch.
My shoulders hurts from time to time too.
1) Does this sound like TMS to you all?
2) Where do I start? I just heard about this yesterday.
3) I’ve had results from PT, yet I keep injuring more parts of myself even though I’m not even really active anymore?
4) Any misc advise?
** I’m being tested for things like Lupus and whatnot, but those results won’t be ready until Nov when I can actually get seen by the specialist.
Thanks!
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Edited by - Waterbear on 10/11/2013 18:50:23 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2013 : 19:18:56
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quote:
Originally posted by Waterbear
1) Does this sound like TMS to you all?
2) Where do I start? I just heard about this yesterday.
3) I’ve had results from PT, yet I keep injuring more parts of myself even though I’m not even really active anymore?
4) Any misc advise?
1) YES
2) Pour a glass of wine and curl up with a TMS book. Any book by the Good Doctor or the "THE GREAT PAIN DECEPTION" by Steven Ray Ozanich, a great TMS tome, or Nicole Sach's "TRUTH". There are many other good TMS books, but any one book is all you really need to read, thoughtfully, to acquire the TMS KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN.
3) Since this is the TMS Forum it's called SYMPTOM SUBSTITUTION--all TMS.
G'luck!
tt
==================================================
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
"...the human emotional system was not designed to endure the mental rigors of a tennis match." Dr. Allen Fox
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"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod =================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Dr. Sarno is now retired, if you call this number you will be referred to his associate Dr. Rashbaum.
"...there are so many things little and big that are tms, I wouldn't have time to write about all of them": Told to icelikeaninja by Dr. Sarno
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
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Edited by - tennis tom on 10/11/2013 23:13:03 |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
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Waterbear
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/12/2013 : 09:15:27
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" Now why would your body do this? In my experience, people with chronic RSIs are, deep down, not happy. There is something eating away at them inside that they haven't addressed. The RSI is their mind-body's attempt to fend off the emotional problem. Because when you have a full-fledged repetitive strain injury, it permeates every area of your life. Your work, your friends, your peace of mind, everything. You think about it all the time. Want a glass of water? Ooh, that hurts turning the spigot. Damn this RSI, I wonder if I will have this pain for my whole life! Many people can't go 10 minutes without thinking about it. And there -- THERE -- is the driving force behind the RSI. It is so absorbing -- SO absorbing, the only parallel I can think of is drug/alcohol/food addiction (i.e. eating disorder) -- that you effectively don't have to think about other things in your life. In some ways you are living like a zombie: going through the motions, but not really living. The RSI is the only real thing in your life, your constant companion, your constant curse."
I do think about the pain all the time! So thinking and worrying about being in pain can create more pain in more parts of my body?
You know, I'm happy to have found this place. Years ago, I was diagnosed with stress induced allergies. I get rashes from time to time whenever work gets to much for me. I always thought my pain couldn't possible be related to my mind. |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2013 : 06:44:14
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quote:
Originally posted by Waterbear
[brI do think about the pain all the time! So thinking and worrying about being in pain can create more pain in more parts of my body?
not just pain, anything that is negative. If you keep thinking about something negative all the time, your body will produce negative symptoms.
if your mind is filled with worry, sorrow, regret, anger, fear... your body will flood your body with all kind of stress hormones, your muscle will tense up, your blood sugar level will go up and down like crazy, your breathing will be short and heavy, your sleep will not be good, your blood pressure will increase.... and if your mind got stuck in the negative territory for so long, your body will eventually hurt somewhere and/or crazy symptoms will start to appear.
so just make sure your mind, your thoughts is in the positive territory more often than in the negative. And if you do have symptoms, make sure you don't fear it. Fear your symptoms is the worst thing you can do to your fight against a mind body illness.
Welcome to the forum Waterbear.
------------------------
No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
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Waterbear
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2013 : 08:24:34
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| Thanks Balto! |
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Waterbear
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2013 : 09:22:34
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I read some reviews for the MindBody Prescription. Lots of people say it's hard to read and the writing is terrible.
I have trouble reading. When I got hurt everyone, literally EVERYONE, I knew told me that I should just read books and be happy.
It's so annoying b/c when I sit down to read, it feels like "Oh here I am, sitting on the couch with my broken body at not even 30, in failure town. I could be running, or climbing a mtn. or doing anything, but I'm reading this book b/c that's what broken people can do".
Needless to say, I don't think I can get through a dry, poorly written book.
Is there another book that people can recommend to start with? Maybe once I feel a bit better, I'll be able to handle the dry ones again. |
Edited by - Waterbear on 10/13/2013 09:24:12 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2013 : 09:54:25
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I disagree with you on your review of the "MINDBODY PRESCRIPTION". I made two book recommendations to you down the page, take another read of my previous post to you.
==================================================
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
"...the human emotional system was not designed to endure the mental rigors of a tennis match." Dr. Allen Fox
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod =================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Dr. Sarno is now retired, if you call this number you will be referred to his associate Dr. Rashbaum.
"...there are so many things little and big that are tms, I wouldn't have time to write about all of them": Told to icelikeaninja by Dr. Sarno
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
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Waterbear
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/13/2013 : 17:02:12
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It's not my review, just what I read on amazon.
TT, I appreciate the books you recommended as well, but there are many people here, so I wanted to ask in a smaller post to see if I can hear a few more opinions.
Thanks! |
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Bugbear
United Kingdom
152 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2013 : 00:35:46
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Hi Waterbear, I read both Healing Back Pain and Mind Body Prescription by Dr John Sarno. These and his other books are definitely the jumping off point for anyone new to the TMS concept. Sure, there will be people who say his books are hard to read but perhaps they just find the concept of TMS hard to accept. They just don't 'get it' so they assume there is something about the book that is flawed. You might not be a lover of reading. Some of Sarno's writings have been produced in audio format. There is another author, Steve Ozanich, who wrote a book called The Great Pain Deception. I thoroughly recommend this book but not necessarily as a first read. A former sufferer of years of chronic pain, SteveO posts on this forum periodically and has helped countless individuals heal themselves. SteveO couldn't get into reading Sarno's books at first. He spent days and days listening to an audio format of Healing Back Pain, I think it was. Some people don't learn as well from reading books. They prefer visuals or an audio format.
I would suggest you do a bit of exploring. Read some of the archived posts on this forum, particularly the success stories. You could also take a look at www.tmswiki.org where you will find heaps of information including a 42 day Structured Educational Program. Day 1 features a 13 minute video of a 20/20 program featuring Dr John Sarno. I also recommend the TMS Recovery Program developed by Alan Gordon, LCSW which you will also find on the wiki.
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Waterbear
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2013 : 16:38:08
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Thanks for the help, Bugbear.
Also, nice nerdy name you got there :)
<- been playing dnd since college |
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njoy
Canada
188 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2013 : 22:50:31
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TMS books are not exactly great literature, I'll agree. The docs aren't writers. Neither are the recovered tms-ers. If you can't read 'em, no problem. There are some pretty articulate folks on this forum and you might also check out tmswiki.org and the forum there. Lots of articles and great threads, a weekly discussion group and a weekly chat, too. Some interesting stuff on youtube, as well.
To tell the truth, until I found the forums about all I got from Dr. Sarno's books is this: It might not be real! Luckily, for me, that was enough to get me started. I was motivated because otherwise my life was over. That was in 1993 and I'm still learning and coping nicely with my tms personality type.
I've learned much more on the forums than in all the books put together.
Good luck to you and welcome.
*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2013 : 19:54:54
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Hi Water Bear,
For more visual information you might want to try Utube
Type in:
tension mystosis syndrome
OR
the mindbody syndrome, ( as it is sometimes referred to nowadays) .
I would stay with Dr Sarno proponents.
I was introduced to Dr Sarno before the internet in 2000, so I ordered his tapes (Healing Back Pain), as well as reading the book. I too struggled with the prose, but on reading it again last year 13 years later, it made perfect sense.
I have heard many people say they see themselves on every page of Dr. Sarno books, but if you read the whole book and can’t associate with some of it, I would say you are cured.
Good luck
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years, is almost gone.
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 10/21/2013 : 17:54:13
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quote:
Originally posted by Waterbear
I read some reviews for the MindBody Prescription. Lots of people say it's hard to read and the writing is terrible.
If you want something easy and quick to read, I recommend Dr. Marc Sopher's book.
http://www.amazon.com/To-Be-Not-Pain-Free-Mindbody/dp/1410707873
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 10/24/2013 : 14:03:59
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Hi Waterbear,
Read my comments to another artist Switter. Being a creative person this might apply to you as well, although you don’t seem to be too much of a perfectionist. You can read it while having the glass of wine that Tom suggested!
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years, is almost gone.
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
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Waterbear
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2013 : 17:00:58
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Thanks for all the help everyone!
I wouldn't say I'm a perfectionist, but I've always believed that you need to work as hard as you possibly can at everything in order to be "good", and that if you fail, you probably should have tried harder.
I was raised that if I worked and worked to the point of breaking, then good things will happen to me. Then, bam, lose 2 jobs due to budget cuts/closings. They didn't care that I never missed a deadline.
It's crazy b/c I love my parents more than anything, but, and I'm not kidding, if I said "Mom, Dad, I tried digging that well in the Sahara and I didn't find water", they would ask me "why didn't you dig deep enough?".
I know a lot of artists like this, either you're super driven or you don't really make it. So I was super driven and now I hurt all over, go figure. Now I'm pissed that all the hard work which I was told is the "golden ticket to a good life", has left me in a good deal of pain and frustration.
Plus since I haven't been drawing/sculpting, I'm pissed that I'll "lose my edge" and be at junior artist level for ever, b/c I need to sit and do nothing while my peers keep at it.
Hmmm, typing this out has actually made me feel a bit better.
I'm going to order a few of the books you all have suggested and see how I do.
Thank you all again!
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New to all of this, need help!
