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KristenG
USA
29 Posts |
 Posted - 09/15/2013 : 14:56:14
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Hi All,
My most dreaded TMS symptom is vertigo. It is the scariest one for me. I feel like I get it when I am really feeling stressed. It recent times I have dropped it, in favor of neck and shoulder pain.
I should say I have been through a lot lately. I lost my mother after a year long period of illness. I am not close with my siblings and lost my dad at the age of 12. In a way, I feel like I don't have any family left. I am renting a room from someone because I lost my house a while back because I lost the income I'd once had. Now the home where I am renting a room is going to foreclosure too. So that means I have until November to find a new place. I have been in a semi-long distance relationship for 3 years. We are 2 hours apart and see each other weekly. I have been looking for work in his area and thought I would be moving that way.
So this morning he calls and says that he may not want to move in together and maybe not even see me anymore. Obviously, I am really upset. Shortly after I got off the phone I actually said...great, now I will have vertigo again. I thought this because I was feeling upset about the situation.
Well, TMS not being one to disappoint, I had a episode of vertigo just a little while ago. I was going to change the oil in my car and when I crawled underneath on my right side (which is the one that seem to cause vertigo for me) I got that creepy 'my whole world is spinning' feeling.
All of this back story leads me to this question. Did I ASK or CALL for vertigo today and that is why it happened OR did I ASK or CALL for vertigo because it is a distraction from my biggest fear which is isolation, or being alone?
Obviously, I have cried, gotten angry and everything else about what happened today but I think my biggest fear is isolation and this break up (or possible break up)makes me feel more alone than I have felt in a long time. I shared everything with him or my mom, and now they both may be gone.
Any insight, words of wisdom, opinions or just general commentary would be much appreciated : )
Thanks for listening,
Kristen
Worry is the misuse of imagination. |
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gigalos
Netherlands
310 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2013 : 15:44:23
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By focussing on vertigo you sensitized that part of your system and voila, it happened. Almost all symptoms I have/had were gone when I didn't think about them and appeared when I did think about it for some reason.
However, 1 and 1 is 3 seems to be the case. When you think about vertigo while completely at ease, chances are small it will appear. You were already sensitized from what happened this morning.
I completely understand the anxiety and anger caused by what you are going through right now. Fear for isolation is also one of my issues, but I am getting better at it.
hang in there and take care |
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KristenG
USA
29 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2013 : 15:53:54
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Thank you for the reply, gigalos. You are right about being sensitized. I am sure that is it. I get irritated with myself for bringing this stuff on....as if I don't have enough to deal with. <sigh>
Thanks again,
Kristen
Worry is the misuse of imagination. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2013 : 16:22:48
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Sorry about your misfortunes Kristen, you have a good handle on this TMS stuff though. It's pretty cool you are changing your own oil. If you are resourceful enough to do that I'm sure you'll get through all that's facing you. What kind of car, I'm just curious since I'm a car guy.
Keep the faith,
tt |
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KristenG
USA
29 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2013 : 16:56:54
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Hey TT,
Thank you for the kind words. I have always done my own maintenance stuff out of necessity...both auto and home. I also kinda like to know how, and why, things work. I actually don't have a car but a 17 year old Dodge Ram 1500. My other mode of transportation is a 1985 Yamaha Virago 700. I change her oil too! (Yeah, it's a female).
I have learned much of what I know about TMS from the members here, trial and error, and the wisdom of SteveO's book. Every time I think I get a handle on things, something else pops up and gives me a chance to practice acceptance. : )
Kristen
Worry is the misuse of imagination. |
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Peregrinus
250 Posts |
Posted - 09/15/2013 : 19:19:41
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Kristen:
The fact that your symptoms immediately point you towards your emotional stress means you are well on your way to beating TMS. Several forum participants have mentioned conditioning and that might explain your recent bout with vertigo. I suggest that you use affirmations anytime that you anticipate the appearance of a symptom. In your case you recognized the underlying emotional cause and might have tried “letting go” or “forgiving”.
I recently was injured in an accident and even though it did not involve my back I anticipated a return of my chronic back pain. (I've had some recent bad experiences caused by accidents). I kept telling myself that my back was OK and that I will recover and the real pain (my ribs) will disappear. So far it is working!
All the best!
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KristenG
USA
29 Posts |
Posted - 09/17/2013 : 06:42:09
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Thanks for the reply, Peregrinus. Thank you for the suggestions. I was using affirmations for a while but had kind of gotten away from it. It did come to mind later that day. I found myself repeating "I forgive and let go easily."
I am sorry to hear you were had an accident, but good for you for working your way through it like you did. Recognizing your anticipation of the symptoms likely put an end to them before they could even get started. Good job!
I fully believe that my physical problems are caused by TMS. I also believe that it is conditioning that brings me back to it in certain situations. I am trying to break that cycle by recognizing when I am starting into it, and address the real issue, or my feelings, as they happen. I grew up leaning to always put my happy face on no matter what was happening. People who know me think I am so laid back and carefree and find it hard to believe that I struggled with anxiety issues. I always say if you bottle up all of those emotions and energy it is eventually going to surface somewhere, right?
All the best to you,
Kristen
Worry is the misuse of imagination. |
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Peregrinus
250 Posts |
Posted - 09/17/2013 : 12:14:55
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quote:
Originally posted by KristenG
I grew up leaning to always put my happy face on no matter what was happening. People who know me think I am so laid back and carefree and find it hard to believe that I struggled with anxiety issues.
Kristen:
It sounds like you haven't accepted yourself and are trying to appear to be someone else. I think that this is the principal source of a stress for most people. Try affirming your self acceptance. If something makes you angry or causes disappointment tell yourself that its OK to feel that way and then move on. Forgive yourself as well as others.
All the best. |
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KristenG
USA
29 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2013 : 08:10:20
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quote:
Originally posted by Peregrinus
Try affirming your self acceptance. If something makes you angry or causes disappointment tell yourself that its OK to feel that way and then move on. Forgive yourself as well as others.
All the best.
This is exactly what I have been focusing on. I have been allowing myself to feel my feelings as they happen. I also tell myself that it is normal to have these feelings etc. This has made a world of difference for me.
Thanks again for your response. : )
Worry is the misuse of imagination. |
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Am I thinking about this right?
