| Author |
 Topic  |
|
Laura
USA
655 Posts |
 Posted - 04/05/2005 : 14:35:13
|
That's what probably scares us the most; ending up doing something like our mothers (or parents). Recently my parents were visiting. Every little noise makes them crazy and provokes a response or comment. We were sitting in a local restaurant, having lunch, and a group of adorable preschoolers were having an outing. They were a few tables away from us, behind a partitition, but it was still prety loud. My parents couldn't stop making faces and commenting on it. While it bothered me, it didn't bother me to the point it did them. When they were finally leaving, my father made a rude comment as they walked by, something to the effect of "It's about time you took those noisy kids outta here you stupid ass." I was mortified.
Maybe that's part of the rage too. The "I don't want to become anything like my parents" and yet, you start developing some of the same traits.
Laura
|
 |
|
|
marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2005 : 16:04:10
|
Laura,
But I bet your father will never have TMS! He expresses what he thinks, doesn't hold it in, neither does your mother apparently. Same with my mother, she blurts out the most inappropriate stuff, like she will open a birthday card, immediately scan the card for cash, and when there is none, you see clearly on her face her disappointment or she will say: "no money from you, huh?"
So see, they will never have TMS, they just live in utter bliss as they are and they will never understand this TMS stuff, because it's beyond their ability to see past their own noses. At least, that is how my mother is anyway. |
|
|
|
marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2005 : 16:06:59
|
SSJS,
YOU ARE CORRECT! It's us angry so we have to find SOMETHING to pick at. So true. |
|
|
|
Louise
USA
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2005 : 18:22:55
|
Boy, this subject is hitting home with me, although not that long ago, I wouldn't have admitted it. Today I was sitting in the Brake shop, waiting on my car, and the woman on the couch next to me kept SNAPPING HER GUM!!! I wanted to deck her!
It seems like I'm perpetually pissed off - at almost everything and anything. Traffic (I live in LA, so it's understandable), co-workers, bosses, you name it. I've come to the conclusion that because I'm angry with myself, I've become hyper-critical of others. Sort of like I'm trying to find fault with others before someone finds fault with me. Because, you know - I'm perfect, or at the very least - I'm madly and tirelessly striving to be! 
Lately, I've been trying to be mindful of this, and acknowledge it when it happens - I liken that urge to react with an angry comment or judgment to the gremlin in Rick Carson's book. I've been trying to chastise myself with humor - in Louise Hay's book, she says that arthritis comes from a constant pattern of criticism. So I stop & tell myself - Louise, you're gonna give yourself arthritis. It makes me stop & laugh at myself. |
|
|
|
verdammt
Canada
97 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2005 : 18:27:44
|
quote:
Originally posted by Tunza
Do you think the princess from the fairytale "The Princess and the Pea" had hypersensitivity?
She could feel the pea that was underneath all those mattresses. 
Kat
Good one, Kat!
Maybe this story has a lasting effect on the unconscious minds of children, especially girls who want to grow up to become princesses. It could be a cause of internal rage later on in life, too ("Where's my @#% prince?!")
Anyway, it gives new meaning to the expression "a royal pain."
|
|
|
|
verdammt
Canada
97 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2005 : 12:21:01
|
Rubbing my nose in it:
I've overcome my hypersensitivity to smells since I started this thread. Just talking about it with you people really helped. It made me realize how much of it was a control issue - or maybe a power struggle with my wife. I wouldn't allow potpourri or scented candles in the house, and always made a big deal about the smell of her hair spray. What a jerk.
I'm getting better. Now I deliberately smell things at every opportunity: bath/shower gel, shampoo, candles, etc. All the things I was so peevish about before. They don't bother me now. They're harmless.
Even at work, if I smell something, I can just shrug it off and not say a word about it to anyone. A big step forward.
So, thanks to all. This has had a really calming effect on me.
|
|
|
|
Tunza
New Zealand
198 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2005 : 16:32:05
|
That's brilliant Verdammt! Deliberately sniffing those smells you have been avoiding is a perfect example of paradoxical intent (I think that's the correct term).
I love reading about these kind of successes.
Kat |
|
|
|
holly
USA
243 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2005 : 19:22:41
|
I have read all your replies regarding this interesting post. I too need to take a white noise machine to every hotel to block out sound. I have always been a very light sleeper. My daughter has a sleepover and forget about it ,I can't sleep even if they are being quiet. Just knowing they are there keeps me awake. (everything has to be perfect) I am sharing a house this summer for a couple of days with some families for the first time and I am already worrying about it now. My husband says I am not flexable enough to do it. (I am going to try real hard) I use a sleep mask at night to block out morning light too. My clothes detergent is fragrance free and so is my antipersperant. I can go on! I too do not wash my hands alot or anything like that. So this must be a personality trait of us TMSers.  |
Edited by - holly on 04/10/2005 19:25:35 |
|
|
|
Fox
USA
496 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2005 : 09:01:41
|
| Verdammt -- you're a brave man -- exposing yourself to those dreadful smells. I guess that I'll try to do it too, but I'm not very excited about it. |
|
|
|
Laura
USA
655 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2005 : 10:02:34
|
Verdammt,
What you said reminded me of something with my own husband. Every time I light candles in the house he starts talking about how I'm going to burn the house down. I don't know any women who don't like candles -- it's like, men and sports, you know? It's just something we like to do -- buy candles, light candles, have a bath with candles. Now my husband starts sneezing when I light candles and tells me he's "allergic" to all the candles. Really? Or is this his way of keeping me from "burning down the house." I don't know but now I'm wondering...
Personally, I think a lot of "allergies" are in people's heads anyway. They have proven it time and time again, for example - taking fake roses and putting them in front of people who are allergic to roses, and sure enough the person sneezes even when the fake flower is introduced. I applaud you, Verdammt, for desensitizing yourself to fragrances like that.
Laura
|
|
|
|
Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2005 : 10:16:22
|
Many allergies are TMS.
But in your husband's case, I would guess that something else is going on. Passive agressiveness? An (unconscious) desire to prevent you from enjoying things that bring you pleasure? Hmm... lots of potential emotions to explore there. |
|
|
|
Fox
USA
496 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2005 : 13:23:53
|
| Verdammt -- Besides exposing yourself to the smells that you fear, a behavioral approach, did you use any mental imagery or other cognitive approach which allowed you to succeed....Last night, I saw a really fun movie, "Sahara", with my son and my brother, but I was nearly constantly distracted by the strong odor of perfume coming from the row of seats in front of me and by my resultant anger about the inconsiderate individual who had splashed perfume upon herself. I thought about telling the family members whom I was with what the problem was and then moving over a seat or two to get our of the perfume range. I didn't because I didn't want to seem to be the wierd one in the group plus I wanted to face my fears and see if it got any better as the movie progressed. I sat there for 2 hours and never lost the feeling of nausea, feeling that I was suffocating, and the panic. I did find out that it wouldn't kill me, I guess, but I don't feel that my hypersensitivity to chemical smells lessened a bit....I do have 2 events in my life that relate to the smells issue...I had my tonsils removed when I was 5 and I can still remember the panic as I was put asleep with ether...I can even still imagine the smell and the taste of the ether....It is my earliest childhood memory...Also, 10 years ago, I had major sinus surgery, and that's about when I started panicking around chemical smells (that's also when I developed tinnitus -- which I have beat with TMS plus Johnathon Hazel's ideas - which have been discussed in earlier posts). I figured my new nose had just become a "super sniffer" since the sinuses had been bored out so thoroughly....Anyhow, Verdammt (or others), do you have any additional ideas as to how to beat hypersensitivity to smells. |
|
|
|
verdammt
Canada
97 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2005 : 18:28:30
|
Fox - Whenever I smell something, I try to welcome it, and breathe it in. I tell myself I'm just a little bit more alive in the process. I'm in control. I'm deliberately using a sense that has been perverted to detect only dangerous and unpleasant things.
I don't know how I would have reacted in the theater. I suppose I would have freaked out and moved, or obsessed about it like you did. Maybe baseball65 is right. Maybe it is a mild form of OCD, if only because we KEEP CHECKING. (Sniff!...Is it still there?..sniff!)
We sensitized ourselves, so we should be able to desensitize ourselves. Maybe the more we deliberately smell things, the less sensitive we become. If you never go outside without sunglasses, the sun will really bother if you forget to take them along. You'll squint for a while, but you'll adjust eventually.
There's also the "fight fire with fire" approach. Deliberately smell something you can control, like popcorn, licorice, candy, etc. at the theater. Or go on the offense and wear your own cologne/aftershave/perfume.
You probably can't smell two things at the same time. In historical movies, you often see aristocrats holding a scented hanky to their noses to shut out the unpleasant smells of the lower classes. Maybe it works. You just have to do it without attracting attention.
|
|
|
|
Fox
USA
496 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2005 : 07:37:42
|
| Verdammt -- thanks for the thoughtful response and the good ideas. It's funny that you mentioned the popcorn counter-smell idea. My brother, who was sitting on my right that night in the movie theater, was eating popcorn and I found that, if I leaned toward him, the delightful smell of his popcorn would mask the dreadful smell of the perfume. I should have thought to have bought my own popcorn as a defensive measure.....Now, if I can just figure how to handle the sickly sweet smell coming from one of the neighborhood houses that drifts all over the neighborhood and often strikes when I am walking my dog....Don't even know which house it's coming from. Probably best that I don't know because, if I did, I'd probably make a fool of myself by going to that neighbor and telling him/her that I have "multi-chemical sensitivities" or whatever (really fibromyalgia/TMS) and asking that person if they would switch to Bounce Free - and I'm sure what I did would get all over the neigborhood and my wife wouldn't be happy about that. |
|
|
|
verdammt
Canada
97 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2005 : 08:13:03
|
Fox - Funny you should mention Bounce. I feel the same way when our neighbor cranks up the clothes dryer (like clockwork, every Sunday...not that I'm keeping track...heh, heh...)
Best not to say anything. I kind of pity them. All their clothes stink of industrial perfume.
Then again, they probably don't notice it inside their Armor-All-coated car. And one of them smokes.
As for walking the dog, I'd sooner take a whiff from the Stoop & Scoop bag than Bounce. At least K9 doo is organic. |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
|
|
X-TMS: sensory hypersensitivity
