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indiana
Denmark
70 Posts |
 Posted - 06/22/2013 : 03:40:41
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quote:
Originally posted by mala
TT, I am not taking any antidepressants. None of the docs think I need it. I was seeing a therapist but she turned out to be more interested in selling me things & asking me to detox & do energy healing.
Balto & Back2it, I am not denying that I have fear. Its very obvious. How do you function 'normally' with pain. You say that I should accept. Well for me acceptance means going about doing what I can as normally as possible.
Maybe you guys could be more specific. For example how would you go about functioning normally when your head hurts like hell or you can't sit or concentrate on anything not even reading a book coz it burns 'down there' so much. What I do is get up & keep going best I can. Do like it ?of course not, does it bother me of course it does. So what specific techniques do you have that u could share with me. Just saying don't fear & accept is not really helping. Maybe you could give examples of how you guys did it. that would help a lot.
Back2it, sorry u r so negative about Facebook. I love it coz it has helped me to stay in touch with my family & friends & locate my students from around the world. I know every single one of the 500 odd people except for 4 whom I don't know personally but are actually from this forum. I have reunited with long lost friends I went to school with in India, I have a group of 250 ex Gurkha students whom I taught here in Hk. They r married, have kids & let me know what's happening & we often meet up when they r here or I am in their part of the world. I have visited them in England, Nepal & Sri Lanka. I have my group of literature students & we review books, films & I go to their weddings & meet their kids coz they know how to get in touch with me. Nothing wrong with that really. Its quite the opposite of what you think it is.
Marlis, thank you for yr very kind words. Yes hormonal changes can be horrid. I too do yoga & take natural stuff. I take ginger tea everyday . And eat a predominately eastern diet with fish, veggies, clear soups. I was recently given some estrogen tablets for vaginal irritation. I'm reluctant to use them coz I have uterine fibroids & estrogen actually makes them grow. I'm looking for something natural . Sigh! Quality of life isn't what it used to be. Do you have any other symptoms apart from the red cheeks? I have actually read Andrew Weil . Have got a couple of his books.
take care all.
Mala
Hello Mala
I have plenty of other symptoms but mentioning them would not be suited for this forum. Together with the TMS symptoms they make a "nice" coktail.
I think getting older can just be a p..in the a.... in all sorts of ways specially for women (maybe men just don't talk so much about it).
I try to compare myself with others with serious illnesses etc. and concentrate on the things I am still able to do and be grateful for that. I don't succeed with that all the time of course. I wonder if we lived in a country where we had to work to just survive and not had the time to think about ourselves so much and our various symptoms would we have them the same way or at all? Accepting that we will never be completely painfree and without "something" as when we were younger is the hardest thing. Sometimes I think if my TMS symptoms get better I will just have the hormonal sh.... to deal with so maybe I can't win them all but thanks to this forum I have made progress in many ways and like you I live healthily. We can only do our best.
Good luck
Marlis
Marlis
Mala Singh Barber. I'm on facebook. Look me up
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2013 : 04:28:11
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Hi Marlis,
Thx for your reply. I can understand not wanting to talk about stuff that goes on & I will not press you on this issue. I do feel however that we wouldn't feel so crappy & scared if we knew what others were going thru. I'm not talking about shared misery but intelligent women talking about what's happening to them physically, mentally & emotionally, how they are coping or not, what's worked or not & whether or not they have used a TMS based approach successfully. I am not by any stretch of the imagination a crazy woman but there r days when I feel very alone & think I'm going mad becoz of what's happening to me.
Many here have mentioned the link between hormones & TMS so this would be a good place to discuss this. That's why I posted my latest physical symptoms. I hope more women will chime in.
Yes, considering & reminding ourselves that we r luckier than some does help to cope but I would really prefer a short but quality life than one which is dragging along painfully. Sigh.
Warm Regards
Mala
Mala Singh Barber. I'm on facebook. Look me up
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Edited by - mala on 06/22/2013 06:49:17 |
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indiana
Denmark
70 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2013 : 06:05:24
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quote:
Originally posted by mala
Hi Marlis,
Thx for your reply. I can understand not wanting to talk about stuff that goes on & I will not press you on this issue. I do feel however that we wouldn't feel so crappy & scared if we knew what others were going thru. I'm not talking about shared misery but intelligent women talking about what's happening to them physically, mentally & emotionally, how they are coping or not, what's worked or not & whether or not they have used a TMS based approach successfully. I am not by any stretch of the imagination a crazy woman but there r days when I feel very alone & think I'm going mad becoz of what's happening to me.
Many here have mentioned the link between hormones & TMS so this would be a good place to discuss this. That's why I posted my latest physical symptoms. I hope more women will chime in.
Regards
Mala
Mala Singh Barber. I'm on facebook. Look me up
Hej Mala,
You may call it shyness or being prude but I have difficulties going into womens stuff on this forum with many male members. I am probably old school but there it is. Having said that yes it would be great if we were able to discuss it with other women (i don't know if it could be on this forum as it would be of no interest to male members or readers). Last year I had hurtfull bladder problems and I even found a forum here in DK with a few desperate women with the same symptoms (having already seen doctors and specialists). Some recommended some natural remedies (which had helped them). When I mentioned it to my doctor he dismissed it completely (surprise surprise).Just knowing somebody has the same problem can sometimes give you some comfort.
I have just realized that if you don't want to take hormones (and I don't)it is very difficult to know what natural remedies would make a difference. Some are even not without risk and you have to be careful. I had PMS which bothered me a great deal before my menopause and then came the hot flashes and red cheeks and on it went. Somehow it is all connected. Now I think that's how our bodies work and there is not always you really can do something about it but just let it pass. Some have hot flashes, others have something else or the lucky ones hardly feel a thing. Our present life situation, whether we are fulfilled and satisfied or not and our approach to life probably also have something to do with it (just a guess).
I take the TMS approach as I don't know how to deal with hormone imbalance and since it has only been a few months I have only made little progress but I keep going. Hopefully my progress will have an impact on that too but I cannot be certain. Maybe it is just a beast which cannot be tamed.
I wish you all the best
Marlis
NB Now I have mentioned a few womens problem anyway. I hope I have not annoyed anybody. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2013 : 06:52:12
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quote:
Originally posted by mala
Very hard to find good therapists here in HK let alone one who is TMS savvy. This is the second one that I have seen. The first started making me do EFT within 15 minutes of my first session after I told her about my back pain. Sigh.
Mala, seeing two therapists is not a very good sampling of ALL the therapists in HG. If you can't find one there, try working with one by Skype or phone, it's been shown to as be effective as seeing one in person. Given your family history, TMS symptom substitution, and long history here, it sounds like therapy could be very beneficial for you. Take a look at the "Links" above or my sig for TMS practitioners. Also Nicole Sachs, who's new book is on the TMS book list above may be helpful to you, she worked with Dr. Sarno for years and doesn't b.s. around.
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TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Dr. Sarno is now retired, if you call this number you will be referred to his associate Dr. Rashbaum.
"...there are so many things little and big that are tms, I wouldn't have time to write about all of them": Told to icelikeaninja by Dr. Sarno
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
Edited by - tennis tom on 06/22/2013 06:53:00 |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2013 : 07:16:27
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Hi mala,
sorry to hear it sounds like you have been in another very rough patch of late. I have had "another symptom rear its ugly head" recently, too and it can be so very challenging.
These things you wrote stuck out for me:
quote:
I can honestly say that I have challenged every symptom forcing myself to continue. I have been having neck pain but I force myself to lift things, to drive.
For example how would you go about functioning normally when your head hurts like hell or you can't sit or concentrate on anything not even reading a book coz it burns 'down there' so much. What I do is get up & keep going best I can. Do like it ?of course not, does it bother me of course it does. So what specific techniques do you have that u could share with me.
I hate this. I don't know where to go & what else to do.
A suggestion of something else to try:
DON'T challenge symptoms and
DON'T force yourself to do anything!
And DON'T try to go about functioning normally, when you are in a lot of pain.
and DON'T get up and keep going "as best you can" and
DON'T do things you DON'T LIKE !
And then the related list of what TO do, instead:
Well, I like how one poster put it (Fredarm57 from WAY back in 2005:)
"Sometimes all you can do is ride out a pain episode. I saw Dr. Sarno in the early 1990's. During one of his lectures, someone asked him what to do when you had a severe pain attack. He replied, with a twinkle in his eye, "go to bed with a good book and a bottle of wine". 
In terms of what other things I do:
- I try to use the "40% rule" when I don't feel well (ie only do 40% of what I think I CAN do.)
- Be very gentle with myself and reduce my expectations.
- Eat something yummy.
In other words, I do try to make myself feeeeeel better (as opposed to "work on my TMS") if that makes any sense.
In terms of "female issues" ... there is a technique which I think I used some time ago, that I think was quite helpful (had forgotten it until now!) I note the article says it "controls arousal of the sympathetic nervous system" so I think I might start using it again, just for my general TMS! I can't find the original link anymore, so not sure where I got it from, but here it is, copied:
quote:
Here we are at a time when the greatest number of baby-boomer women are entering their menopausal years. And research is showing that hormonal therapy presents a long-term risk and little benefit. So what is a woman to do when troubled by hot flashes, often controlled by hormone replacement therapy?
Research on biofeedback by Erik Peper, PhD, and colleagues at San Francisco State University, suggests that a technique called effortless diaphragmatic breathing could be a first step to reduce hot flashes and symptoms of premenstrual syndrome. In a recent journal, Biofeedback, Dr. Peper spells out how to perform one of the helpful exercises:
Imagine that you are holding a baby. Now with your shoulders relaxed, inhale gently so that your abdomen widens. Then as you exhale, purse your lips and very gently and softly blow over the baby’s hair. Allow your abdomen to narrow when exhaling. Blow so softly that the baby's hair barely moves. At the same time, imagine that you can allow your breath to flow down and through your legs. Continue imagining that you are gently blowing on the baby’s hair while feeling your breath flowing down your legs. Keep blowing very softly and continuously. He suggests you practice exhaling like this the moment you feel any sensation associated with hot flashes or PMS.
Dr. Peper speculates that you can control arousal of the sympathetic nervous system that activates hot flashes through self-management approaches like this.
Just some more ideas to add to the table. I know how hard it is to feel like one is in a pit!
Hoping you are feeling a little better soon,
RSR
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2013 : 08:15:52
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Mala,
"Floating" is a term I borrowed from Dr. Claire Weekes. She is describing panic and anxiety and how to "get" through it. If you substitute "panic" for "pain" you have the same meaning. Somewhere I suggested listening to her CD "Passing through Panic", as her words convey her meaning more than the printed page, in my opinion. Essentially, she is urging affirmations, but also that you recognize that you have fear of the pain but also fear of the fear of the pain. You are stopped cold by fear even before moving. So even if you go about your daily actions, putting up with the pain, you still are essentially in a panic state -- a heightened state of anxiety. You must talk yourself down, change you thinking, and it takes time and it is not easy. The hardest thing to do, according to Weekes, is to "let time pass". Same as what they call "calendar watching" here.
A quicker access to this idea process is to read carefully and apply personally Ace1's Keys to yourself. Those Keys, I tell you, contain really all the information of most all of the "pain" authors out there, but it is free and concise. Read each word of the Keys and apply personally, and I think over time (don't focus on the time) you will find relief.
Maybe Balto can simply it, because he has a way of just getting to the heart of the matter.
See you on FB
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2013 : 15:07:29
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Hi Mala - my wife had early menopause (38) and was taking replacement hormones. I think bio identical hormones would
have been better, but her doctor knew nothing about them.
She quit a couple of months ago, and has been kind of
depressed ever since. I was thinking natural supplements
might be good to try. My niece had Poly-cystic ovary syndrome,
as well as diabetes, that her supplement really helped. |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 06/26/2013 : 08:28:02
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quote:
Originally posted by mala
Balto & Back2it, I am not denying that I have fear. Its very obvious. How do you function 'normally' with pain. You say that I should accept. Well for me acceptance means going about doing what I can as normally as possible.
Maybe you guys could be more specific. For example how would you go about functioning normally when your head hurts like hell or you can't sit or concentrate on anything not even reading a book coz it burns 'down there' so much. What I do is get up & keep going best I can. Do like it ?of course not, does it bother me of course it does. So what specific techniques do you have that u could share with me. Just saying don't fear & accept is not really helping. Maybe you could give examples of how you guys did it. that would help a lot.
Our brain is always scan our body and the surrounding environment for sign of danger. It is a very helpful ability which had help our human race survived for thousand and thousand of years. When it see sign of danger it would alert us instantly using the "fight or flight" respond we often heard of. This respond help us get ready to fight or run, but it also created FEAR. When the danger has passed our body will revert back to normal after a while. But if this FEAR thought still exist and/or intensified, the symptoms will stay, "just in case" we need to "fight or flight" again.
Chronic "fight or flight" respond will lead to all kind of tms/anxiety symptoms. And it is all because of FEAR.
How to over come your fear? there are way but it will take effort and patient and consistent from you. If it easy we would be here talking to each other. If it easy then doctor Sarno and Weekes would wrote all those books.
Think of your symptoms like a snake. You walk in a small alley and you happened to see a snake in front of you. You tried to turn around and see another snake in the back of you. Those snakes are sign of danger. Your body will instantly produce "fight or flight" symptoms and FEAR THOUGHTS flooded your mind. Now if you look closer, and you realize that the 2 snakes are just rubber snakes. What would happen to you now? Your body will instantly feel relief after a few long breaths. You will smile and look around to find the person who played the trick on you. You laughed and go on your merry way.
When we say accept your symptoms we mean think of your symptoms as rubber snakes. They are benign, they are their just temporary, they are not dangerous and nothing to fear. If you can take a leap of faith and accept that, if you can come to that realization, the Fear will just disappear and soon the symptoms.
You can also overcome your fear with exposure therapy. Keep exposing to what you fear and the fear will die. ("do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
). If everyday you keep facing those 2 snakes, just calmly and slowly move pass them, jump over them, carry a stick,... talk to yourself, explain to yourself that they probably not poisonous, and even if they are poisonous I'm going step on them, kick them, run away from them... and I can still go to the hospital.... Keep facing your fear, keep doing the things you normally enjoy doing despite all the pain. keep focusing on the good side of life. Keep your focus on other people's need, keep surrounding yourself with POSITIVE people, keep moving and moving and living. Eventually you will overcome your fear of those "snakes", overcome FEAR, and your problem will end.
It will take time. You need to be persistent and patient.
Have you tried Ace1's Keys? If you try that faithfully for a month and don't see any improvement you probably not ready.
Hope this help explain it Mala.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
Edited by - balto on 06/26/2013 08:37:34 |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2013 : 03:23:46
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TT, thx, will keep on looking for someone here. Think I like to have someone I can talk to face to face.
RSR sorry to hear that u r going thru a rough patch. I like the 'blowing on the baby's head' thing u recommended & have been trying that.
Back2it & Balto. Good posts about fear especially the bit about fear of fear of the pain.
Balto. You are spot on about FEAR. I think my body is on high alert constantly scanning for pain & reacting very strong to even the slightest bit now. Everything seems amplified.
I had to smile when reading what you posted about the snakes. I am not a bit scared of snakes. When I lived in India we just got used to them being around. They r in the garden sometimes even the house. I spent 20 minutes one time washing an outside bathroom to discover there was a big thick one behind the door. I chased a cobra that was going to attack my dog here in HK & often see them in country parks . I've been bitten by a scorpion & here's the best one - chased by a Royal Bengal Tiger. Managed to jumped onto the jeep just in time. What I remember about all those incidents is how not afraid I was. Encountering those things was like OK, this is life. Things happen I could have died but I didn't. Lets move on.
This physical pain however is another beast altogether. It has decided to plague my life , permeate my body, my very being. Has latched itself onto me sucking life out slowly. And it doesn't want to let go. I not only fear it I DREAD it.
Mala
Mala Singh Barber. I'm on facebook. Look me up
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Edited by - mala on 06/29/2013 03:29:32 |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2013 : 06:06:58
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quote:
Originally posted by mala
And it doesn't want to let go. I not only fear it I DREAD it.
When you're ready you will let go of it. Someday you will be ready to make the change. And only you can do it for yourself. No one can. Your fear, you negative thoughts are just an addiction, a bad life habit. and not until you're ready to make the "choice" and let go of your habit, the pain will stay with you.
Just like smoking and drinking. Addicts to those 2 substances know exactly how bad, how dangerous they are to them and yet they keep using it. There are thousand of ways to quit them and yet people still find it hard to quit... they can't until they are ready or they are "sick and tire of being sick"...
take a chance, choose a belief, be patient, be persistent.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
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Another symptom rears its ugly head
