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Cath
116 Posts |
 Posted - 05/14/2013 : 06:03:51
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This is great Kevin! And makes so much sense. There's not a thought you've expressed that hasn't run through my mind for the last two years since following the Sarno path to healing. I thought I WAS living my life the way I was "before pain", but I was fooling myself. Asking yourself the question "what you would do if someone told you that you were going to be in pain for the rest of your life" made me ACCEPT finally. And Claire Weekes" words were echoing through my mind also "utter, utter acceptance." It brings a sense of relief and a letting go, which in turn does decrease pain.
Cath |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2013 : 21:50:44
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| Hi Kevin, I ,too, remember you. I'm definitely one of the oldies. I was passing thru and saw your name. I look for some of the original members from time to time but see very few. I hope that is because they have learned how to deal with their Tms as you have. Thankfully, I have too. It's almost as natural as breathing and eating. The forum has changed tremendously. I hope it is as helpful to all of you as the old one was to us. To me, the greatest aid in conquering the demons was loosing the fear. Fear is the crippling enabler of Tms. |
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catmac
United Kingdom
57 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2013 : 14:53:09
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Exactly, TMS thrives off that fear. You're experiencing pain already, why not face your pain and enjoy a walk with the pain? After that a light jog for a half a block. After that a bike ride.
That's how you face TMS, and after that TMS let's go of you.
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Kevin, I think the statement 'tms let's go of you' could be an aha moment for many people. I think we all fall into the trap of fighting tms instead of accepting it. I think this is true of many illnesses accept it, live with it, do what you can to enjoy life despite it, and let it pass in its own time.
thanks for all your wise words...............truly helpful
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gailnyc
USA
80 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2013 : 15:36:26
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Catmac and Susie,
Can I ask how you learned to let go of fear? It's what I'm struggling with right now.
My fear is mainly of the pain getting worse. How do you let go of that?
Gail
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2013 : 16:18:32
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Hey Gail, my aha moment came years ago thru someone's post on the forum. The comment was about the pain and how horrible it was and that , somehow, I had survived that horrible pain. After all, since I had lived thru the terrible awful ( stole it from "the help") and I was still alive and kicking, what else could it do to me? You just have to embrace it and dare it. It's a gradual awareness that you are ok. The pain never frightens me anymore, so I rarely have any. The tougher thing for me are the odd symptoms when you think something could actually be wrong with you this time. The funny thing is Tms always overplays its hand. It always overdoes it until you realize it's just been your brain creating the problem the whole time.
It's a process. You have to practice at first and then it just becomes second nature. Have some patience. I will have to work on this my whole life. I compare it to my curly hair. Humidity will always frizz it up but I will always have a chi! |
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gailnyc
USA
80 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2013 : 17:55:20
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quote:
Originally posted by Susie
It's a gradual awareness that you are ok. The pain never frightens me anymore, so I rarely have any...
It's a process. You have to practice at first and then it just becomes second nature. Have some patience. I will have to work on this my whole life.
thank you so much for this, Susie. I have been practicing and very slowly getting better at it. I find Claire Weekes's advice very helpful because she says never give up, at first you will feel fear a lot but as long as you are able to have moments of letting go of fear, you will be able to build on those until you feel them less and less. This is what I've been working on.
Some people make it sound like they were able to let go of fear completely and suddenly. I know it is not like that for me so I get discouraged. So thank you so much for your encouraging reply. |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2013 : 19:50:03
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| Everyone's different. I really believe everyone suffers from Tms. Just so few realize it. I feel very fortunate. The knowledge has really contributed to my well being. I think you are well ahead of the game by recognizing what is happening. That is the hard part. Getting a handle on it just takes practice. Who doesn't like a good challenge?it will become very satisfying to you when you realize you are in control. You just don't know it yet. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2013 : 03:30:47
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| This is really great advice from suzie. It really does just take practice. |
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catmac
United Kingdom
57 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2013 : 10:22:26
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[quote]Originally posted by gailnyc
Catmac and Susie,
Can I ask how you learned to let go of fear? It's what I'm struggling with right now.
My fear is mainly of the pain getting worse. How do you let go of that?
Gail
Hi Gail
I was the exact same, Gail, terrified of the pain getting worse. I stopped doing pretty much everything incase I made the pain worse, ie, went off sick at work, wouldn't book a holiday, wouldn't go for nights out, etc etc. I would only do the bare minimum. I was miserable and thought I was dying!!
My first lightbulb moment came when I went to a local coffee shop with my sister. She had just returned from holiday and I was totally engrossed in how her holiday had been and all her stories that I didn't notice any pain. The minute I arrived back home, the pain kicked in big time. That was my first clue that this pain could be psychological rather than physical. I realized then that I should pander no more to this pain so I started to plan to get my life back. I returned to work, increased my exercise and social life and booked a holiday. This was all done gradually. I was still scared (terrified sometimes) but carried on anyway. Eventually as I rebuilt my life the fear left me. Like la kevin says your tms will decide to leave you when the time is right. Just accept you have it just now, and work with it.
I hope this all makes sense. I could say so much more. It's not an easy road but you will get there. Each small achievement will build your confidence and you will get better.
keep in touch
catmac
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njoy
Canada
188 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2013 : 20:15:45
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This is great stuff. I've copied the entire thread and am editing it down to the gist of your ideas, kevin. Thanks so much.
*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum |
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Lou
USA
41 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2013 : 21:29:55
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| Very helpful - especially for people who've had relapses and a variety of symptoms |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2013 : 23:08:34
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Holy moly, great thread Kevin. Just got around to getting through it.
Great advice. Thanks for the good will in coming back to help out. The grattitude on this thread is very apparent. |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 06/02/2013 : 15:14:42
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Holy Hell, I'm SO sorry for not responding to people's posts.
I've been super busy and when I viewed the thread from my cellphone the posts are BACKWARDS in chronological order, so I never saw any new ones. I was wondering what was going on.
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"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans"- John Lennon
"TMS is just as afraid of us succeeding, as it is us failing" - Me |
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gailnyc
USA
80 Posts |
Posted - 06/05/2013 : 19:09:48
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quote:
Originally posted by catmac
Hi Gail
I was the exact same, Gail, terrified of the pain getting worse. I stopped doing pretty much everything incase I made the pain worse, ie, went off sick at work, wouldn't book a holiday, wouldn't go for nights out, etc etc. I would only do the bare minimum. I was miserable and thought I was dying!!
My first lightbulb moment came when I went to a local coffee shop with my sister. She had just returned from holiday and I was totally engrossed in how her holiday had been and all her stories that I didn't notice any pain. The minute I arrived back home, the pain kicked in big time. That was my first clue that this pain could be psychological rather than physical. I realized then that I should pander no more to this pain so I started to plan to get my life back. I returned to work, increased my exercise and social life and booked a holiday. This was all done gradually. I was still scared (terrified sometimes) but carried on anyway. Eventually as I rebuilt my life the fear left me. Like la kevin says your tms will decide to leave you when the time is right. Just accept you have it just now, and work with it.
I hope this all makes sense. I could say so much more. It's not an easy road but you will get there. Each small achievement will build your confidence and you will get better.
keep in touch
catmac
Catmac, thank you so much for this. It is extremely helpful and encouraging. Sorry it took so long for me to reply!
Gail |
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Old Regular Stopping In To Say Hello!
