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chickenbone
Panama
398 Posts |
 Posted - 03/07/2013 : 17:37:02
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As most of you know I am doing much better in my recovery, mostly because of Ace's Keys and Dr. Alexander's book. Other books like Steve O and Dr Hanscom have helped also. Ace's Keys have the davantage of providing a step by step approach.
I recently experienced a symptom that I suspected was TMS, but was not really sure if it was related to allergies or parathyroid issues. For a long time, I thought it could be allergies, but abandoned that idea when it just did not seem to make sense. I sometimes have (have not had this in over 7 months) a very violent allergy-like reaction, usually, but not always during some king of traveling. To give some background, when I was a kid, my family could not take me on vacation with them. I hated it, would cry incessantly, and would get extremely sick, often requiring a visit to the emergency room or, in remote areas, to a doctor's home. It was usually some sort of respiratory ailment. Keep in mind that, at 3 years of age, I sustained a 3 week stay in the hospital after having extreme pain in my abdominal area and screaming at night for weeks. They couldn't find anything wrong with me, so it must have been TMS. My parents solved this problem by placing me with my wonderful grandparents or neighbors while they went on vacation. I have to wonder if I did this unconsciously to avoid having to spend quality time with my toxic immediate family. I remember really enjoying staying with these people and they were some of the happiest times in my life.
Anyway, I have had some allergy problems all my life, but in 2008, when my husband and I were going through a very stressful time trying to sell a house in a really terrible place called Boquete, Panama. We really needed the money from the house. I won't go into the gory details. During this time, every time we would go to Boquete or David (another awful place nearby) I would get these terrible allergy-type attacks out of nowhere. They were so bad that I used to think if I laid down I would choke. It was like my brain was turning on the histamine spigot full blast in my sinuses which would run buckets with violent sneezing attacks. What I specifically remember is that we used to stay in this nice looking hotel that smelled BAD. The rooms smelled of mold and mildew and intense humidity. I hated staying there and his smell was sure to launch an attack. This is generally true of the hotels anywhere in Panama, some much worse than others. I generally don't have trouble with the hotels in the US, except in the state of Florida. After we sold the house, I would only have these attacks occasionally, but often associated with an emotionally upsetting event, as when my six month old boxer puppy died suddenly.
Fast forward to now. I had not had an attack in about 7 months,the last one occurred before my parathyroid surgery when I was suffering from panic attacks. I had some left over Klonipin from this episode that I had not used recently and I have been off my sleep meds and doing well. Anyway, we had to go to Panama City for 2 days, most of which was enjoyment. We had found a bed and breakfast that I could tolerate, so I was not expecting to hit any TMS triggers. Well, we no sooner got to the place where we were to stay when I noticed that it looked dumpy and not well maintained. As soon as we opened the door to the room, I was greeted with that musty, disgusting smell that I hate so much. This took me by surprise and I did not immediately follow Ace's keys and began an extremely negative and angry line of thinking and did not want to stay the night, but could not change our plans. I finally got a hold of myself and forgot about it for the rest of the day and really enjoyed myself. After we got back that night to stay, I started having one of those horrible attacks, a really bad one I began sneezing and my nose swelling and running like mad. I tried not to panic and just let it be, but was just on the verge of freaking out beause I was also so tired. I wanted to run around, throw things and scream. However, I was able to effectively deal with this TMS attack. I immediately told my central nervous system that I knew what it was doing (I could feel my out of control internal reactions) and that I would CLOBBER it with Klonipin if it did not cooperate with my efforts to get things under control. I did not do what the strategy wanted me to and has enticed me to do in the past, take antihistamines, blow my nose constantly and continue to stay up and run around in circles, all the while catastrophizing, hating it, and feeling sorry for myself. This would only make it worse. Instead, I laid down and began doing EFT - tapping hard on my temples and sinuses. I did as much as I could to scramble my brain (which I knew was responsible for this) by rapid eye movements. It was definitely working, but still very threatening. Then I kept my promise by taking 1mg klonipin which I save for emergencies. (I have only had to take 2mg in the last 2 months only after not having slept for 3 nights) Every time I got up to get something, the violent sneezing would start again, so laying down was definitely keeping it at bay. About a half hour later, it was much better, but not quite to my satisfaction, so I clobbered my central nervous system again, after threatening to do so several times and demanding all my oxygen back immediately, with another 1mg Klonipin. Then I got peace and was able to fall asleep. When I woke up in the morning, my sinuses were still swolen from the ordeal, but I knew I had been successful and a few hours later felt fine.
It is amazing how the mind works. About 10 years ago, before I knew anything about TMS, I used to get blinding tension headaches on overnight flights to Europe. I was developing quite a phobia about it. I found a drug in England that would never be allowed in the US. It really worked against the headaches and I only had to take half the recommended dosage. I took it exactly 2 times about 9 years ago. I always buy it when I am in England, carry it on overnight flights, BUT I have NEVER had to use it since. It is my weapon against the TMS headaches. Don't even start because you will lose. The strategy knows that and doesn't offer a bad tension headache. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2013 : 12:20:54
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CB
I really need you to reassess what your doing. Please reread key #26. Do you think "scrambling" your mind by tapping or threatening it will help calm your overly sensitized nerves? Of course not. Your goal isn't really about just getting rid of your symptoms in the moment, you are trying to understand what your body is trying to tell you. You obviously have conditioned yourself to these types of hotels and now you just have to decondition yourself and the symptoms will fade on their own accord. |
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chickenbone
Panama
398 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2013 : 13:58:45
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Hi Ace, I understand what you are saying. I have done well with most of my issues. My sleep is getting much better and I am off the sleeping pills and antidepressants. However, travel is the one thing I think I really need to avoid as much as possible. I always try to remember that we have 2 options when confronted with conditions that we have been sensitized to, we can avoid them or we can de condition ourselves. Most of the time it is better to de condition ourselves and to some extent I think I can de condition to travel. However, in making a list of situations in which my nervous system becomes really crazy, travel (especially hotels and airplanes) is probably at the top of my list. I realized that until I married my husband, I almost never traveled. I even turned down a really terrific job because I didn't want to travel. I also realized that I travel as much as I do mostly because my husband likes to travel. This is a big source of my inner rage and I have many terrible memories of travel in foreign countries. I have to realize that I really don't like it or want to do it. So I told my unconscious mind that I would deal with the issue and this is an issue that I need to avoid. I recently told my husband that I was no longer going to travel with him. He can go alone if he wishes. I cancelled all travel plans for the entire year, except for day trips. Unless there is an emergency with family, I do not want to travel. His reaction was very reasonable because he knows how I don't like it. It turned out quite well. Also, the EFT I have been using really works for symptoms. I use it also with rapid eye movements. I am learning more and more that I don't have to put up with symptoms. I know I need to live more relaxed and I usually can do it. But I am much harder on myself now when something comes on that I don't expect. It really is working. I do realize that the underlying issues need to be addressed.
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Old symptom definitely TMS
