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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
 Posted - 02/13/2013 : 10:21:19
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| 23. Everything to your best should be done with peace, calmness, forgiveness and ease (WITHOUT STRAIN or WITH FUNCTIONAL RELAXATION). Some people talk, behave and function in a strained way and this is to be recognized and modified for cure to occur. Observing a video of yourself may help to clue you in on this. Also be good to yourself. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 10:42:29
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| One time I observed myself in a video with my children and I saw myself as being so strained. I had pressured speech (talking as if I cant wait for all I want to say to come out). I did not like what I saw and it helped clue me in more to my problem |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 10:44:25
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| Please explain further what is means to behave or function in a strained way. |
Edited by - shawnsmith on 02/13/2013 10:44:37 |
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jegol71
USA
78 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 10:50:35
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One of the greatest triumphs in therapy, I believe, is the videotaping of clients during session. ISTDP does this, and it allows you to see how you behave under stress, or under none.
This is the premise that a lot of proprioceptive bodywork modalities work under, like Feldenkrais, Somatics and John Barnes myofascial release (even massage), all of which I tried, and had an improved range of motion ...for about a day. They say "relax the body, the mind will follow." Really? What these things are likely doing is eliciting a relaxation response everywhere, because they get you relaxed, or try.
More sensible, I think, would be to try to be relaxed all the time, and see how the body may fall. Doesn't that sound more like true posture than, say:
PUT YOUR F***ING SHOULDERS BACK! NOW! AND ALL THE TIME! MUSCLE IMBALANCES EVERYWHERE! DIEDIEDIE!
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Edited by - jegol71 on 02/13/2013 10:52:13 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 10:52:41
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| Shawn, just undertake this excerise and look at a video in which you are in (dont video tape yourself for this purpose, just get one that your in independent of this purpose), you will see what Im talking about. Like, just look at your behavior and see what kind of rushed intense mode you might be in. Just look at it as an observer. come back and report what you see. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 10:54:46
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| Yes Jegol, that bodywork stuff is crap and I agree with you 100%. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 10:59:12
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I guess that we are under strain so much that after awhile we don`t even recognize it. It`s like you are reading a book and it is a bit dark in the room and you have to strain your eyes in order to see the words on the page, but you don`t actually realize that you are straining. In fact, you tell yourself that you can clearly see the words. But then someone comes along and turns on the lights and you at that moment realize just how dark it was in the room and how much your were straining to see in that dim light.
Or it's like something has really been bothering and you have dwelt on it for a long time to the point it has become a habitual way of thinking. You are so close to it and it has become such an integral part of your everyday thinking that you no longer even recognize it until someone comes along and makes you aware of it.
Does that make sense? |
Edited by - shawnsmith on 02/13/2013 11:00:59 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:01:19
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| absolutely! |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:04:22
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| And then I would like to add that people may tell themselves that they are not straining and are, in fact, quite relaxed. What gives this lie away is the presence of the symptoms. The symptoms, wherever they may appear in the body, is telling you in clear and concise language, that you are under strain even if you otherwise don't feel that you are. |
Edited by - shawnsmith on 02/13/2013 11:08:24 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:06:02
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| Correct! |
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alix
USA
434 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:07:44
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Completely agree. Observe yourself giving a public speech. Your shoulders are locked etc...
Agreed about bodywork. I found out that a relaxing back rub works as well as fancy Feldenkreis or ART sessions. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:08:14
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| Sometimes the strain is conditioned, you just walk into a scenerio and you go into the habitual strain mode you have done so much in the past. This happens without you even trying. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:13:00
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| So we come into a situation. Let's say we are on an airplane in which we have to sit for a few hours and cannot freely move about. The tension begins to rise and the physical symptoms accelerates and we feel scared and frozen. In that moment, we know we are under strain because the symptoms are telling us that we are. What do we do in that moment? This is a biggy for me. |
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jegol71
USA
78 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:14:05
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And, to expand from experience: if you're a young child, and are forced to deal with a parent's projections, where they always ask the child "Why are you always so angry?" when the parent is the one who is so strained that you could hand him a frozen potato and he'd hand you back hot mashed in a bowl...imagine what the impressionable child takes into his worldview?
He is not angry, but is told by a narcissist he is and always is, and so he thinks himself bad.
Since anger is bad in the eyes of a child.
People walk around with ideas of what things are, which are then mutilated by the mind into becoming ideas of what they should be. It's the most populous group of terrorists on the planet, we are to ourselves.
It's a wonder we don't split ourselves asunder, strained group of billions we are.
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Edited by - jegol71 on 02/13/2013 11:15:32 |
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jegol71
USA
78 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:17:57
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Shawn:
If you know you are under strain on the airplane, you have already "done it" in my view. At that point it's only a matter of how much more you want to keep doing it, IE: notice it objectively, understand it, use your intelligence to free up your back by having confidence in your command of the situation.
Water off a duck's relaxed back. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:27:41
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| Remember as I said the number one cause of strain is impatience. I think that this applies very much so to you shawn. You cannot be patient enough on the plane, you dont want to be restricted. Go and do the excercise I gave A1S to sit in front of a panting in a museum for 2-3 hours, while observing your impatience and the painting if you can. Use your affirmations of patience at the same time. You will have a VERY hard time at first, you have to sit through this discmfort and I think it will teach you a little more about what your biggest problem is. Repeat this exercise when you can, the more you do it, the better you will get. On the plane do the samething, sit in it, knowing the problem, and use your affirmations in the background. |
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jegol71
USA
78 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 11:31:24
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Additionally, the airplane is an example of conscious tension.
Since we have collections of other strains that have been subsumed into the labels of "oh, that's life," or "getting older sucks," imagine where we could, theoretically, be at if we were just achieving a new baseline of self-peace, one that negates the impact throughout all manifolds of tension? Then there's no individuating one stress from the next ever again, because we've turned to butter.
For people like us, sometimes by past necessity functioning like a Mensa for the heart, this is obviously a battle for our lives. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 12:18:20
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I guess we all find ourselves in situations that, at least for the current moment, we cannot remove ourselves from. In that sense, the airplane example is a metaphor for life in general in which we are stuck somewhere and, at the moment, cannot move. And, as ACE1 pointed out, this is breeds impatience. And impatience most certainly elicits a lot of strain.
I would also like to add, in this discussion on strain, that we tend to compare ourselves to others. In our minds other people are more talented, more attractive, more educated, more healthy, have a wider circle of friends and have experienced a greater overall success in life. This kind of thinking can lead to self-pity and even depression to the point one feels like a loser. And when a person feels like a loser there is a lot of self-loathing. Sadly, in this world in which we live, many people feel alone, isolated and filled with a lot of bitterness. They also feel that no matter how hard they try, nothing -- or very little -- works out for them. Many people feel that they are under-employed, under-appreciated and mis-understood. This is the condition of millions of people. In addition, there is merely an illusion of support around them, but nothing of real substance. And reality slaps one right in the face when they realize they are alone in this universe, so utterly alone. We see many of them walking the streets talking into thin air while the so called sane ones are curled up somewhere in a ball crying their eyes out before they get ready for work in a world that doesn't give a sh-t what they do anyways. Yeah, that's bleak, but reality tends to be that way sometimes. |
Edited by - shawnsmith on 02/13/2013 12:20:21 |
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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 13:56:26
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| One toke of the good stuff teaches you everything you need to know about strain. Peace pipes and all that. Culling the wisdom is the trick. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 15:02:29
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| So you are a toker eh Plum? |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2013 : 15:14:45
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Sometime when we get stuck in an undesiable situation I think acceptance will help us endure the situation much better. The lower caste in India accepted their fate and go on with their lives as best they can. The farmers can't do anything about the drought, the prisioners got to finish their sentences. My dog got to wait for the neighbor's dog to come in heat ... Sometime we just have to tell our brain to wait it out, to make do with what we have. Accept the the lemon and make lemonade.
Just a thought.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
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Ace of the Day - Day 23
