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Caroline
USA
55 Posts |
 Posted - 03/17/2005 : 07:49:52
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Hi everybody,
I see a lot of references to "goodism" and repressed anger as causing TMS but I don't recognize myself in those traits. I am angry at people a lot of the time (and the rest of the time I just like to be alone). That makes me a classic misanthrope. I have always had a bad temper and I know why: my mother was enormously annoying and I could not seem to get her off my back. When I turned 21 I moved away as far as I could (to a different continent) but the hostility in my personality is still there, getting worse as a matter of fact. To give you an idea of the kind of person I identify with, that would be the Michael Douglas' character in "Falling Down". The guy who goes around town eliminating all the annoying people who stand in his way.
My question is: does anyone understand how DR. Sarno's theory apply to agressive personalities? does anyone else feel the way I do and what are they doing about it? Par of me feels that if I repress my hostile tendencies, I'll just end up with more TMS!
Nasty Caroline |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 08:29:30
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| The anger is a smokescreen. When you get angry at someone, ask yourself why you are angry at them. Maybe you are projecting anger at yourself onto this other person. |
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Tunza
New Zealand
198 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2005 : 13:22:09
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Hi Caroline,
I can relate to what you are saying and I have classic TMS (if you want details on my symptoms see my post in the questionaire thread). I can be a very hostile person especially when I feel under time pressure (eg at work everyone knows about my temper).
But I also have a strong urge to be approved of by everyone so I end up very conflicted. I think sometimes I have a desperation to be liked and then it morphs into such resentment of this need that I get angry at the very people I am trying to please (and also very angry at myself).
Then I end up just wanting to be alone.
If you read all the TMS doctors books you will see that more than just the "goodist" personality is discussed. I think it's any personality that can generate a lot of conflict between what we think we should be/do and what we feel.
Kat |
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n/a
36 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2005 : 17:39:40
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| Dr. Sarno does say that anger is the primary emotion the pain is trying to bury, but he also mentions other emotions such as anxiety. Anxiety / worry is my number one problem I think. |
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Carol
91 Posts |
Posted - 03/20/2005 : 14:23:15
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Caroline and Tunza, both of your posts describe me to a T! I am assertive to agressive most of the time. When my daughter was young she used to get very upset with me if I challenged someone for poor service, or anything else, although it was richly deserved! I used to try to curb my personality when I was with her, as hard as it was. although I am an assertive, borderline agressive personality I also hate to hurt someone's feelings, especially someone I like or love! Those tendencies cause a lot of conflict in my psyche, and I think the conflicts are responsible for lots of my TMS problems. I get angry with someone for whatever, then find myself making excuses for them. I don't do that with strangers, just those who mean something to me. Then, like you, I want to retreat into myself. I will just withdraw if I can't be physically alone. I guess this is the goodist and agressive tendencies at war with one another. I'll bet a lot of us share these conflicts.
Carol |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 03/20/2005 : 16:20:50
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Caroline.
I have had a confrontational and aggressive personality for all of my life and came down with TMS anyway.In fact,the most recent issue I have been dealing with dates back to an attempt I made at NOT being myself.
I decided that perhaps I needed to learn how to NOT always confront people,even when they are criminally and offensively wrong....I thought it would be sort of 'educational'....I'd sit back and watch what the response inside myself was to allowing these IDIOTS to administer their ignorance unfettered by my resistance.
At first the results were good and I felt like I was learning.Than,when some external circumstances surged up to knock me 'off center',I was like the guy Sarno talks about in the book who avoids an altercation and than has a panic attack....except I got a new symptom.
This doesn't mean I've given up on trying to grow,but for the time being I was sort of denying my true nature and all that was good for was renewed Mindbody symptoms.
The Tao of Pooh addresses this issue of being yourself,and working your way out from there.....I'm tigger and I pretended I was Pooh...and Tigger can't be Pooh...he can only be tigger.
In spite of my aggressive nature,I could always see the goodism in my Indignancy and confrontational manner regarding right acting and right thinking/doing...being a goodist doesn't mean you're a Ghandi....it just means you have that 'moral imperative'.The crusaders in the 11th century were 'goodists' even while they were mercilessly slaughtering innocents....they thought they were serving some sort of higher calling.
you sound a lot like me,and some of my other TMS brethren......we're not all roses and sunshine,but that compulsion is there underlying our tough exterior.
peace
Baseball65 |
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n/a
36 Posts |
Posted - 03/21/2005 : 19:53:57
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| Remember, according to Dr. Sarno, the emotions you are aware of are not the ones bringing on the physical pain. It is the emotions in the subsconcious and that are being repressed by physical symptoms which are the problem. |
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Aggressive personality
