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NicoleSachsLCSW
USA
63 Posts |
 Posted - 01/18/2013 : 10:57:56
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Ok, I have healed! I am back with a Huge smile (thanks in large part to my mom, who pointed out that TennisTom and Bryan3000 gave so much of their lovely energy to go head to head about me complete with Hitler references!) I had a good laugh over that, and I needed it. That, plus the AMAZING influx of emails to me personally and facebook friending letting me know that most people here see only the light and love. How I appreciate you kind people!!! I'm looking forward to many lively TMS discussions with you all.
So, enough with the bickering. Let the healing begin. I want to address one thing that was written to me privately from a forum member. She commented that she had a good understanding of TMS and had read several books, but was having trouble connecting with her subconscious. "HOW??" she asked. Here's how:
My dear friend Mark, who often sat beside me on the Alumni Panel when Dr. Sarno used to host them at NYU Rusk, used to say, "YOU NEED TO GO INTO YOUR DARKEST ROOM, AND TURN ON THE LIGHT." I loved that, and I quote him often. I like to take it further, and say, "Once you are in there, you need to sit down on the floor and look around, at all the damaged walls and the cracked moldings and the uneven structure...until it doesn't scare you any more... Until you feel no need to be defensive."
The best way to access the dark truths you need to heal, is to do the opposite of that which is intuitive. Go right to the shame you suppress and the defensiveness which has kept you going, and challenge that. It is complicated to explain, which is why I thought to lead with the book - not to be an ass**ole who wanted to sell, but to give you all the answers which I've already painstakingly written down! Every time I try to rewrite it here, I falter..maybe I can copy a bit of it so you might be less skeptical. I just don't wait to take up too much space... Dave????
(Btw Dave and I have corresponded on our own and we totally understand each other. I've sent him the book for his consideration. So don't feel the need to moderate, he's on it.)
OK, I'm gonna see if there's something to paste in that helps to communicate my point without "selling" you anything...
(from my book):
As we become even vaguely aware of our deeper truths, and they feel ugly, or shameful, or dark, or (the ultimate fear) impossible to access, our natural reaction is to run in the other direction. However, before you flee screaming, please hear this enormous comfort: Your truths can ONLY appear this frightening and blocked, U n t i l ...
(Try to listen to the next part SO carefully.)
... Until they are unmasked, and revealed. Then, and only then, does each of us gain the ability to see ourselves completely. To stop using every ounce of our energy to fight against feeling “bad” or “defensive” or “wrong” or “ashamed.” To actually take in what has “happened” or “not happened.” To allow our stories to play out before us in a different, empathic and safe light. Raw pain may accompany this witnessing, but I have watched countless times as people have smiled through tears, because they have also been able to see the beauty. The beauty of truth without judgment is striking, as it is only through this lens that we can be forgiven. You can be forgiven. And it’s SUCH A relief. We all, simply, just want to be forgiven.
***
Let’s look at your life, together:
Is your marriage in ICU, although you know (somewhere in there) that the main roadblock is you? Are YOU the one who has cheated, but you hide from that wildly? Has your partner cheated or left, yet you have no real certainty where it went wrong? Do you need something that you can’t define? Are you in pain? Stuck? Depressed or anxious, but not desperate enough to seek real help? Alone, in any sense of the definition, even in a crowded room?
Perhaps... your pain is physical? Are you aching all over? Are you hurting in one specific place, and then JUST when you feel some relief, in ANOTHER place? Do you have a diagnosis that has no known cure, only treatment? Do you (in your private thoughts) question whether or not that diagnosis can even account for your symptoms? Do you spend your days being frightened that you won’t be able to live a full life as a result of your “state?”
Maybe you try so so hard to feel fulfilled, and it seems as if nothing makes a profound difference. Your partner seems distant because he or she doesn’t “understand” you. You feel as if YOU don’t understand you. Your mother doesn’t “get it.” Or, in your gut, you know it’s your mother who has hurt you the worst, but that’s not polite to discuss. It makes you feel embarrassed and alone. Perhaps your best friend was cool and seemed to want to hear about your life up until a point, and now she’s had enough. She really doesn’t want to listen to your crap. You can tell. It makes you feel so rejected.
Maybe you really wanted kids so much and you couldn’t live without them, but this whole parenting gig is not what you expected. You need so badly to be a “good parent.” Yet, in truth, you aren’t even exactly sure what that means or how to do it “right.” You feel empty a lot. Everything is exhausting. You’re not enjoying life as you “should,” and it’s going by too fast. You feel guilty sometimes, and you don’t even know why...
***
I feel bad posting too much, but I have dumped my soul onto the pages of what I've written and I ask you (kindly, and you know who you are,) if you don't like what I have to say, I ask you to keep any harsh negativity to yourself. I say this because I have a tender heart, but also b/c so many people have reached out to me, that I feel it's unfair to run away and not help then just b/c my feelings are hurt. I don't mind if you challenge me, or debate the issues, but please stop short of calling me a liar about my beautiful book reviews or questioning my credentials. I worked for years while raising children to get those degrees, and in addition volunteering my time and energy to the TMS effort alongside Dr. Sarno. I guess if you feel the need to question my credentials, then just do your research first. I can't imagine you would find anything to deny.
I come with love, and I thank all of you who have commended me for doing so. I am here to help. Hit me up!
Nicole
Embrace your Truth, Create your Life. |
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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 11:12:39
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The soul has such high ambitions that the (tender) heart endeavours to fulfil. Welcome back, lady o' the lamp.
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 11:21:31
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Welome back, Nicole, I am so happy to see you again here and I think lots of members here feel the same! I am looking forward to further posts from you!
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
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jegol71
USA
78 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 12:05:09
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Hey Nicole,
As a psych enthusiast and fellow author, I appreciate your contributions.
We all know, the seasoned pained we are, that most self-awareness dialogue coming from mental health professionals waxes cliche when it's been rehashed and re-read in so many forms by the chronically suffering. The overabundance of inner work literature out there, when consumed by people who are tough to self-help, becomes assimilated into their defenses, and then psychology work in general becomes just one more problem in their world, and is dismissed for many vague internal reasons.
Most hurting people come pre-loaded with a clip of cynicism towards those who have and acknowledge that they have answers. Until a perfect culmination of written passages, discussions, personal growth and insight comes along to them, shocking them. Then all the self-help work sounds the same for the right reasons.
This happened to me with ISTDP work.
It's what propelled me to move from Los Angeles back to Florida. Now I want to tell everyone about it, the same as I want to tell everyone about TMS/MBS/PPD.
I once overheard my deceased father's psychologist, whom my father saw for 25 years, say that Dad was "the most impossible, resistant case I've ever seen." ISTDP allowed me to laser through the bull****, and I wish my father was around to give it a try.
Your cited passage, particularly-
"As we become even vaguely aware of our deeper truths, and they feel ugly, or shameful, or dark, or (the ultimate fear) impossible to access, our natural reaction is to run in the other direction. However, before you flee screaming, please hear this enormous comfort: Your truths can ONLY appear this frightening and blocked..."
-speaks to me as part of the third wave, ACT/Presence Process/ISTDP dynamic of BEING HERE. Are you familiar with ISTDP? Dr. Schubiner has it as part of his practice, and even Sarno, in one of his latest interviews, spoke about how he now encourages people to "get in touch with their inner child," saying so with the glowing eyes of his own, as if he had discovered it. It was cute to see genius excited.
Lastly, I think people should warmly remember that we're all here for our own fractured reasons, and that even though this is not a place for diagnosis, treatment or personal medical advice, most of us implicitly treat it as such out of a desire to couple speed with results, as well as a rightfully conditioned disdain for the doctor's office.
That makes this group, these posts, these personalities en masse, this collective alphanumeric consciousness, a de facto, schizophrenic doctor who sometimes has great advice, sometimes is the one who's sick, and other times argues allowed with him/her in ways that make one wonder if it is constantly filing malpractice against itself.
Therefore, I believe we should in the tone and intention of our work, with all of us our colleague, consider the writings of both the Hippocratic Oath and Epidemics when we write ourselves. I have copied two passages at the bottom from the most reliable Greek transliterations.
"...with regard to disease, namely, to do good or to do no harm."
"...for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice."
I think if what you have to offer cuts the mustard, like anything in our world, it will be celebrated and cherished in proportion to the speed at which people realize they're not being screwed. It happened for Steve, and hopefully it happens for you.
-Jared
From Epidemics-
"5. The physician must be able to tell the antecedents, know the present, and foretell the future - must mediate these things, and have two special objects in view with regard to disease, namely, to do good or to do no harm. The art consists in three things - the disease, the patient, and the physician. The physician is the servant of the art, and the patient must combat the disease along with the physician."
The Hippocratic Oath, Classical Version:
I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:
To hold him who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art—if they desire to learn it—without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to my sons and to the sons of him who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the medical law, but no one else.
I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.
I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.
I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favor of such men as are engaged in this work.
Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.
What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about.
If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.
—Translation from the Greek by Ludwig Edelstein. From The Hippocratic Oath: Text, Translation, and Interpretation, by Ludwig Edelstein. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins Press, 1943. |
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NicoleSachsLCSW
USA
63 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 12:10:13
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Thank you all. I appreciate the understanding and the confidence. To answer Jared, I have heard of ISTDP and I've been told by friends and colleagues that it is powerful and effective. I haven't studied it myself, but I would love to if I could one day find the time (my kids are all under the age of 10!)
It sounds like you are doing great, and as a fellow person who lost my father young, I too wish he was here to battle his demons in ways that make so much sense to me.
xo
quote:
Originally posted by jegol71
Hey Nicole,
As a psych enthusiast and fellow author, I appreciate your contributions.
We all know, the seasoned pained we are, that most self-awareness dialogue coming from mental health professionals waxes cliche when it's been rehashed and re-read in so many forms by the chronically suffering. The overabundance of inner work literature out there, when consumed by people who are tough to self-help, becomes assimilated into their defenses, and then psychology work in general becomes just one more problem in their world, and is dismissed for many vague internal reasons.
Most hurting people come pre-loaded with a clip of cynicism towards those who have and acknowledge that they have answers. Until a perfect culmination of written passages, discussions, personal growth and insight comes along to them, shocking them. Then all the self-help work sounds the same for the right reasons.
This happened to me with ISTDP work.
It's what propelled me to move from Los Angeles back to Florida. Now I want to tell everyone about it, the same as I want to tell everyone about TMS/MBS/PPD.
I once overheard my deceased father's psychologist, whom my father saw for 25 years, say that Dad was "the most impossible, resistant case I've ever seen." ISTDP allowed me to laser through the bull****, and I wish my father was around to give it a try.
Your cited passage, particularly-
"As we become even vaguely aware of our deeper truths, and they feel ugly, or shameful, or dark, or (the ultimate fear) impossible to access, our natural reaction is to run in the other direction. However, before you flee screaming, please hear this enormous comfort: Your truths can ONLY appear this frightening and blocked..."
-speaks to me as part of the third wave, ACT/Presence Process/ISTDP dynamic of BEING HERE. Are you familiar with ISTDP? Dr. Schubiner has it as part of his practice, and even Sarno, in one of his latest interviews, spoke about how he now encourages people to "get in touch with their inner child," saying so with the glowing eyes of his own, as if he had discovered it. It was cute to see genius excited.
Lastly, I think people should warmly remember that we're all here for our own fractured reasons, and that even though this is not a place for diagnosis, treatment or personal medical advice, most of us implicitly treat it as such out of a desire to couple speed with results, as well as a rightfully conditioned disdain for the doctor's office.
That makes this group, these posts, these personalities en masse, this collective alphanumeric consciousness, a de facto, schizophrenic doctor who sometimes has great advice, sometimes is the one who's sick, and other times argues allowed with him/her in ways that make one wonder if it is constantly filing malpractice against itself.
Therefore, I believe we should in the tone and intention of our work, with all of us our colleague, consider the writings of both the Hippocratic Oath and Epidemics when we write ourselves. I have copied two passages at the bottom from the most reliable Greek transliterations.
"...with regard to disease, namely, to do good or to do no harm."
"...for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice."
I think if what you have to offer cuts the mustard, like anything in our world, it will be celebrated and cherished in proportion to the speed at which people realize they're not being screwed. It happened for Steve, and hopefully it happens for you.
-Jared
From Epidemics-
"5. The physician must be able to tell the antecedents, know the present, and foretell the future - must mediate these things, and have two special objects in view with regard to disease, namely, to do good or to do no harm. The art consists in three things - the disease, the patient, and the physician. The physician is the servant of the art, and the patient must combat the disease along with the physician."
The Hippocratic Oath, Classical Version:
I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:
To hold him who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art—if they desire to learn it—without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to my sons and to the sons of him who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the medical law, but no one else.
I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.
I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.
I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favor of such men as are engaged in this work.
Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.
What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about.
If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.
—Translation from the Greek by Ludwig Edelstein. From The Hippocratic Oath: Text, Translation, and Interpretation, by Ludwig Edelstein. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins Press, 1943.
Embrace your Truth, Create your Life. |
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pspa123
672 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 12:29:42
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| ISTDP seems to raise an issue we have discussed often in the context of TMS -- to what extent does one need to dig into one's past in order to heal. ISTDP, at least my superficial impression of it, seems focused on repairing the effects of childhood trauma that disrupted secure attachment bonds. As an aside, I spent several years with a psychotherapist a while back who was convinced I had suffered from childhood trauma but that I was holding out on him. We just kept going back and forth until eventually the relationship ran its course. To this day, I don't believe I was subjected to any trauma. |
Edited by - pspa123 on 01/18/2013 12:31:48 |
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plum
United Kingdom
641 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 13:01:50
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Ah, Jared.
The chalice may be safe in your hands. Your words delight me. |
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alix
USA
434 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 13:08:40
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I find ISTDP fascinating (I briefly looked on wiki).
The short burst of anger that frequently arise between a patient and a therapist is used to get deeper into the repressed issues.
In retrospect it happened all the time between Don Dubin and myself but Don being on the phone, he obviously never picked those clues. I recall vividly those short bursts of anger that were all very revealing in retrospect.
I have interviewed hundreds of candidates in my work and to me the best way to learn something is to throw people of balance and watch how they react. it is a bit the same.
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 13:15:38
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Wow, it's the second coming!! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
Nicole,
I was fine leaving this alone but since you mentioned me and those of us who had voiced our concerns about your approach and validity, I'm fine responding...
-First off, I might suggest THAT IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO TYPE IN CAPS TO US. It comes across as screaming, or sales'ey.
-Second, I'm glad you've spoken with Dave but as far as your orders to those here "not to moderate," I think that's stepping over your bounds a bit.
I'm fairly confident from past conversations that Dave had not given you the direction to tell forum members keep quiet with their opinion.
I'm sure if he feels it necessary, he'll chime in. There's no need for us to speak for him. The rules are clearly written here.
No one has called you a liar. But it's fairly clear that these reviews on Amazon are highly questionable. Several here have raised that concern and for good reason.
I also agree with the other poster who said that your tactic of labeling anyone "negative" who voices their opinion is very questionable behavior for a professional.
Instead of coming back to the group with an apology for kicking the door down to sell your products, you chose to insult and classify people as basically "mean" for questioning you. As I stated before, you're in the wrong place if you're looking for people who aren't intelligent enough to see through that tactic.
I notice that in your return you made another post announcing yourself, gave much more personal information on yourself and now have taken to posting excerpts from your book... the very thing people questioned you about the first time. So I'll give you this... you've got what any good salesperson needs, persistence.
Anyway, that's my piece. I'm fine leaving this alone but if you haven't noticed, I'm not going to be shy about my opinion on these matters.
That's my right, just as it is the right of those who prefer salespeople to follow you on facebook, etc.
We are all entitled to our opinion, here.
This forum is a diverse mix of intelligent people. Grace and humility go a long way.
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 13:53:29
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Hi guys
Where is the forgiving heart? It is probably true that Nicole came here to promote her book. She probably didn't think there was anything wrong with it and i cant blame her for thinking that. We can speak our peace without taking it personal or having a feeling of defending ourselves. I think Nicole just types in bold letters and that just her personality. There is nothing wrong with that. I also think if she puts portions of here book on here to express a point that is perfectly fine. I really sincerely feel that Nicole's agenda now is just to help. I think the original point was just not to come on here and try to sell a book and disappear. Come here talk to us without an agenda and mention the book in passing and it will just sell to the ones who were going to buy it anyway. In terms of validity that will be crystal clear with time, so don't worry about it. Lets say 95% of the book reviews were Nicole writing them, it doesn't make the book any more or less good, therefore it doesn't really even matter. I'm glad your back Nicole and thank you for your time in trying to help. Remember our practice is to act not react. |
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jennypeanut
103 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 13:54:57
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| I'm late in all this, but Nicole and Ace, I posted 2 comments to the previous thread you should read. |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 14:07:21
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Ace,
Fair enough. I respect you as one who has given plenty of good, free advice and good will around here.
I'm personally fine leaving it all alone, even if I'm not quite sold on the authenticity of things. This is a place for all opinions, and
I'm not here to claim anyone can't post theirs. I simply joined others in voicing concern for the quality of the board.
My opinions haven't changed but we all don't have to agree. Appreciate your input.
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 14:18:16
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| Bryan. Thank you for your kind words. Your a good man. I just want you to remember a good tip. Even though you may be dead right I want you to be like - so what? I don't have to make sure to get my point across, it's not that important. I used to be this way when trying to explain to someone something (even about tms). I thought it was so important for someone to clearly understand me. The force/strain in my explanation was so evident. It was beyond my recognition for a while, but as you become aware of the strain, it starts to lessen. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 17:33:54
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| Here's the deal I will offer to Nicole. If she sends me a review copy of her book as a pdf I will review it for her and post it on this forum and she can also use the review in any context she sees fit. What say you Nicole? |
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pspa123
672 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2013 : 17:50:03
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quote:
Originally posted by Ace1
Bryan. Thank you for your kind words. Your a good man. I just want you to remember a good tip. Even though you may be dead right I want you to be like - so what? I don't have to make sure to get my point across, it's not that important. I used to be this way when trying to explain to someone something (even about tms). I thought it was so important for someone to clearly understand me. The force/strain in my explanation was so evident. It was beyond my recognition for a while, but as you become aware of the strain, it starts to lessen.
That is a lesson I definitely need to learn and a very valid point. I find it hard to uncouple what I do for work (try to win arguments) from real life. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2013 : 01:18:16
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I'm so very pleased that Nicole is back on board.
Bryan you come across as being quite harsh & unrelenting. First you make a snide remark about the second coming -not nice & yes you could have resisted it.
Then you tell her not to use capitals. I've read her post and to be fair she has used it very sparingly & there are times when yes using CAPITALS is OK.
Even though she has said that she has asked you not to call her a liar about her book reviews you still had to call them 'questionable'.
It probably wasn't easy for her to come back onto the forum again & i applaud her for it. I can see the effort she has put into starting again & reintroducing herself . SO GIVE HER A CHANCE! (yes I just used capitals)
You Bryan on the other hand come across in writing as being unforgiving & controlling.
Mala
Mala Singh Barber. I'm on facebook. Look me up
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Edited by - mala on 01/19/2013 01:34:07 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2013 : 04:16:01
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| No, no mala, Bryan is a good guy. Your taking this too hard yourself. All of this really isn't that important. He does have a some very valid points like most of the reviews of the book do write in the style of bold letters which is not a common form of writing style. Once again though it really doesn't matter. I don't want you get in this hyped up mode when you think someone or yourself is wronged or a victim (that's in my keys to healing). This is part of your treatment. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2013 : 04:21:30
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| Pspa, I think your doing very well. I have noticed the initial angry tone from your posts is gone. Just remember bc your mind is so analytical, that it is not very susceptible to suggestion. (Just like I was). Therefore, it will take more time using the mind power techniques for you to heal. Remember, you absolutely have to use them to get better to reprogram your mind but you will have to give it the time it needs. Someone with a very suggestible mind on the other hand, may not need to use the mind power techniques very much or even at all. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2013 : 07:27:53
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quote:
Originally posted by Ace1
No, no mala, Bryan is a good guy.
Nothing about Bryan's behavior towards Nicole or SteveO can remotely be considered "good". I'm not saying he doesn't have good qualities but hospitality is not one of them. Ace I see you have kept yourself out of the fray. Now that the dust is settling you are jumping back in. Bryann came very close to driving away two TMS experts. I on the other hand got down and dirty and convinced them to come back.
Since you are a doctor you have much more credibility here then me a mere tennis player. Since contributors "agenda's" are at question here I don't see any difference between what you are doing here and what Nicole and SteveO were trying to do, help people and along the way make a living at it. If people from this forum email you for an appointment are you going to treat them for free if they can afford to pay you? Are you using this forum to develop your "products" and being a "salesman" for them? Ace, do you think Bryann's behavior has been hospitable using calling them "salesmen" instead of authors and calling their books "products" as if they were toasters for books which I'm sure were very difficult for them to write and came straight from the heart?
Maybe you felt threatened here that your agenda would have some competition? I know I will always come out the bad guy in these "debates", but I have no "products" to sell, except used tennis balls for 10 cents each plus S&H. What I have found here is that many people have difficulty expressing their anger or even witnessing it on a TV screen like this one--they are afraid to deal with it head on--but it doesn't go away--they just store it in their elbow, back, butt or wherever their subconscious "intelligent" mind decides others will "buy" into it and leave them alone, creating sympathy towards them.
I think telling Mala, she shouldn't feel the way she does and that she is wrong to feel that way--to swallow and eat her anger is BAD advice. Now some here can tell me about how I'm such an angry guy--my question to you is why aren't you?--there's a lot to be angry about and if more people would express their anger rather repressing and supressing it, hiding their heads in the sand, there would be some resolutions and maybe some personal revolutions--AND much fewer TMS aches and pains.
tt/LSMFT
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
"...the human emotional system was not designed to endure the mental rigors of a tennis match." Dr. Allen Fox
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"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod =================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
Edited by - tennis tom on 01/19/2013 07:43:40 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2013 : 07:45:32
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| Dear, TT, Its too bad you think it's bad advice to tell her not to be angry. It's the unrecognized anger that's the problem, but you wouldn't know that because your not cured. Once anger is recognized one must try to resolve the conflict which is make it ok in your mind. Good luck to you and I do wish you the best. |
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pspa123
672 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2013 : 08:13:26
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| This discussion between TT and Ace1 underscores perhaps the central issue in my life and I suspect it is relevant to others at least to some extent for their own reasons -- what to do with anger, which is extreme in my own case because of what happened to my autistic son. Purging it through expression seems impossible, suppressing it just means as TT said it comes out elsewhere, trying to let it go and be at peace with what happened does not seem geniune although I keep trying. Perhaps there is some other way to integrate it/metabolize it? |
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I COME WITH LOVE!!!!!!
