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Dr James Alexander
Australia
127 Posts |
 Posted - 01/05/2013 : 00:23:52
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hi all. I've just added to my webpage (www.drjamesalexander-psychologist.com) an article which expands on the discussion from my book (The Hidden Psychology of Pain) of Richard Davidson's work with Emotional Styles. Specifically, it discusses the importance of emotional style in relation to chronic pain; as well as the neurological underpinnings of the relevant emotional styles (Outlook, Resilience, and Self-Awareness); the findings from neuroscience research about the importance of a particular neural structures and patterns of neural connections to chronic pain; as well as strategies to create brain changes which can support your movement away from chronic pain. I would have like to have included all of this in my book, but there is a limit to how much information you can put into a book. The Net allows me to constantly add to the information.
You will find this discussion on my website under the 'About the book' link at the top of the homepage; then scrolling down the left until you see 'Emotional Style & Chronic Pain' under Addendums to the book. Feel free to send any questions my way via this forum.
James |
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chickenbone
Panama
398 Posts |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 06:50:07
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Hi Dr. Alexander,
I went to the link and read some snipits from your book. It looks very good and may be a lot of help to me. I liked your website also.
Thanks. |
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Dr James Alexander
Australia
127 Posts |
Posted - 01/07/2013 : 12:46:50
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thanks Chickenbone- I'm adding resources to the website all the time, so keep on checking it. Hope you continue to find the info useful. James
James |
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tmsjptc
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 01/09/2013 : 11:26:23
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| Dr. Alexander, do you have any advice for me? I've read a couple of Dr. Sarno books (as well as others), learned a lot about myself, and after a year consider myself "healed" of chronic pain. But, my wife, who fits all of the profiles, won't consider exploring this even though she suffers terribly from chronic pain. She was in a car accident 15 years ago and suffered many fractures in her neck and had to get fusion done. So, she tells me this worked for me because I didn't have anything really wrong but hers is all from her accident. She actually told me that unless a doctor broke his neck then she wouldn't believe they really knew what they were talking about with regards to chronic pain. When I read a little of your story, I thought you might fit the bill as an example to her. But, since this has caused major issues between us each of the three times I have tried to broach the subject with her, I am extremely hesitant to try it again. But, on the other hand, I love her and it is hard to see her suffer needlessly when I know it can be helped. Any advice you have would be appreciated. Tom |
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Dr James Alexander
Australia
127 Posts |
Posted - 01/09/2013 : 23:45:46
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hi Tom- well, firstly i sympathise with your plight, and that of your wife as well. It is apparent that only a minority of people are actually open to the TMS model. If more people were open, there'd be more healing- but that isnt the reality of the situation. Yes, i fractured 3 vertebrae in my neck, and picked up two disc bulges in the process- and i have never suffered pain beyond the initial injury (not entirely true- today, i went for a surf (my neck injury was from a surfing accident- today, a wave smacked me on the back of the neck- not enough to do any physical damage, but perhaps a reminder of my accident?), and right now i have a twinge of pain in the left of my neck- nothing dramatic, but its there. I also recently had the experience of speaking to a client about her neck pain of 12 months, and a slight twinge was also in my neck afterwards- these are perhaps triggers for me. However, i have never suffered any significant neck pain since the initial recovery. And it put this down purely to having a clear idea of what does/doesnt produce chronic pain.
So, you dont need any convincing, but your wife does? Can i suggest that this situation is a bit like one partner who believes that a particular religion has saved their life, and the other partner is a complete athiest. What is self evident to one doesnt seem credible or worthy of exploration to the other. In such a circumstance, i can only suggest that you explain to your wife (btw- i presume that you have already tried this) that these ideas have been very helpful for you; and because you care so much about her, you would like to see them be helpful for her as well. You provide a role model (not through lecturing) of how these ideas can help by how you live your life; you offer to make the resources available to her (which can include her contacting me if she'd like to) and then, you need to take a step backwards. As difficult as it is, we need to respect the rights of people to pick and choose from what the world makes available.
I had a similar experience with my older brother quite a few years ago- he had extreme back pain; was obviously in a stressful situation; was not at all interested in what i had to offer; and went ahead with spinal surgery, despite my advice. It was very difficult for me to sit back and watch it all unfolding, but i had to respect his right to choose. If you live your life as a model of this approach, this will be more powerful than any lecture. There is always the chance that at some time in the future, any person may become more interested in this approach- none of us are the end product yet (until we die). People can and do change their minds and become more open (and some may become more closed). It seems to me that all of us who have experienced chronic pain have our own journey with it- and all of our journeys (like life itself) are different. Some people firstly need to go through every possible physical therapy and explanation they can find- with each ultimately failing, before they ultimately become more open to this approach.
Keep in mind that the pain is operating as a defense mechanism, protecting us from significant distress which is lurking at a very deep level. We can only relinquish defense mechanisms voluntarily or from some flash of insight- they cant be taken away from us by others. They serve a purpose, to protect us from emotional distress. I dont know anything about your wife, but if her accident was severe (or emotionally traumatic- probably was for her to wind up injured); or if she has trauma from other times in her life (sadly, not uncommon), then this could be a productive angle to approach it from. Perhaps drop the TMS suggestion, and discuss with her whether she is carrying emotional trauma from the accident or other life experiences. She may be (and may be willing to address it), or may be (and not willing to address it). Again, you have to respect her choices here. If she is willing to address it, i'd suggest some trauma focused psychotherapy. The approach that i am most familiar with is EMDR (see my website for more details and links: www.drjamesalexander-psychologist.com). It is quite possible for her physical pain to naturally diminish if she is able to successfully treat her emotional pain (presuming that she i) has some, and ii) is willing to admit it to herself, and iii) willing to do anything about it. Many EMDR practitioners, while maybe not having heard of the TMS model, will be intuitively open to the notion of emotional and phyiscal pain being linked. They will most likely never mention Sarno, or chronic pain, but could still be able to help your wife get rid of it under the goal of working with the emotional trauma. Again, all this requires your wife's openness- and thats the hard part. In the meantime, keep on loving her and dont argue with her about it. If you can be the best husband you can, then this will help her emotionally and physically. She obviously needs support and love (and you need to not beat yourself up as a husband if you cant help her with this). Good luck- James
James |
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tmsjptc
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 01/10/2013 : 15:15:10
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| James, awesome. Thank you. I have indeed taken a step back and I know that we each have a path. You confirmed what I knew I needed to do but you did it far more eloquently than I could have. Besides helping me, I hope that your post helps someone else in the same situation (which I suspect is probably common). Tom |
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alix
USA
434 Posts |
Posted - 01/10/2013 : 17:16:10
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Dr.Alexander,
I read your book over the holidays (+Steve's book) and I think it is excellent and very practical. I appreciated the fact that it is not rigid like so many other self-help books which is very counter-productive IMO (week 1 do this, week 2 do that etc...).
I connected quite well to your history of groin pain as I had a similar issue. I also found the chapters on EFT and EMDR enlightening. I will post more on the subject but I wanted to mention beforehand how impressed I am with your book as a very useful resource.
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chickenbone
Panama
398 Posts |
Posted - 01/10/2013 : 19:19:10
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| Alix, I agree. I am ordering Dr. Alexander´s book this week after reading several pages on Amazon. I also took the personality test on his website. It told me some things about my personality that I did know and some things I did not. It is a very good resource for us TMSers. |
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Dr James Alexander
Australia
127 Posts |
Posted - 01/10/2013 : 19:23:16
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Tom- my pleasure. Hope you find a way through the situation. James
James |
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Dr James Alexander
Australia
127 Posts |
Posted - 01/10/2013 : 19:25:30
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Alix- glad you found my book helpful. I wrote it for you!
James |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 01/11/2013 : 08:29:41
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Knowledge is the cure. The more knowledge the better. Some patients need to know a lot; others less. First impressions count. Any meeting generates emotion, even one with a TMS practitioner.
http://www.bodyinmind.org/why-does-a-therapy-work/
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
Edited by - Back2-It on 01/11/2013 08:51:28 |
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Emotional Style & Chronic Pain
