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maccafan
130 Posts |
 Posted - 12/04/2012 : 19:11:54
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For the past 2 months or so I have been going through a lot of tension and stress. I began to feel overwhelmed by it all. Trapped by it all. Furious about it all. When my back begins to hurt I know that I'm on overload. Back pain is my rage barometer. And I know how to stop my back pain really easy. That's not my problem anymore. But then the equivalents started including sharp shooting pain in my ears, one then the other, mild dizzyness, and even my levator ani syndrome tried to start again. Then my brain really pulled one over on me. Caught me off guard.
I've felt tired before, really just exhausted, but I've never felt fatigue that was so severe that I felt I must really have some fatal disease. I went through this for about a week and was getting worried because I've never felt like that before. This was new to me.
Then one morning in the shower I was thinking (the shower is my think tank but not for too long because I don't want to waste water) and I thought to myself that I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. That that old saying can really be true. I thought about how my emotions felt soooo heavyyyy. Then the light bulb went off. TM...blanking...S!!!!! My brain decided to take advantage of my just being tired from all the turmoil and turn the tiredness into FATIGUE to distract me from my boiling emotions!
So I just chuckled to myself and thought ... good one brain, you almost got me. The FATIGUE was gone in about a day and a half. But the shooting pain has happened a couple more times and now my teeth are really hurting. I've been through these TMS symptoms before, they are not new to me and I KNOW how to stop them.
I can't untrap myself from my situation but I'm getting back to my easel now and that always helps. I love to paint although it is not easy and is hard work. When I'm painting and listening to The Beatles I can escape for awhile.
Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies, somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes....
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Peregrinus
250 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2012 : 19:40:19
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Macafan:
I’m your age and also an artist (figurative and portrait)! Art really is good therapy since it forces you to be present. My question is why all the turmoil at your age? What is getting you angry and in a rage? When I get ticked off I try find a rational justification and there never is one. As E. Tolle says the past is of no concern if you are living in the present. Does it matter what someone did or said last week matter when you are painting? Get your mind off the symptoms and think psychological. Also don’t use Sap Green.
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maccafan
130 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2012 : 20:49:54
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Hello Peregrinus,
I liked your post. You're right, it doesn't matter what someone said or did last week when you are painting. I'm mainly upset about a particular family situation and I know that I'm justified in my anger. Thanks to the good doctor, Dr. Sarno (as TT puts it)I know how to think psychological and stop my symptoms. This new one just caught me off guard.
I mostly paint animal portraits including gorillas, chimpanzees, orangutans and dolphins, sometimes human portraits and classic cars. What have you got against sap green for Pete's sake??? 
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Edited by - maccafan on 12/05/2012 05:43:29 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 12/05/2012 : 08:37:54
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quote:
Originally posted by maccafan
I can't untrap myself from my situation...
Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies, somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes....
Hi Lucy Maccafan,
That's very TMS mysterious, I was wondering where you had disappeared to a day ago and you pop right up. Your mindbody energy must be circling the stratosphere. That's the TMS bummer, being stuck in a TMS pain creating situation without an easy resolution, but it helps to know where the symptoms are originating from and working on a work-around.
SteveO wrote about when he lost his physical pain he was hit with "dizzying" anxiety as an equivalent. I quoted his section about it in my "SteveO Gems" thread, headed (anxiety) "Anchors Aweigh".
I'm a car guy, what classic cars have you painted?
Like the 60's, if you can remember Woodstock, you weren't there. I can't remember who sang the lines from the "funny farm, ha-ha he-he" lyrics you expunged? Why did you delete them, it could make for an interesting TMS exploration.
Welcome back,
tt |
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maccafan
130 Posts |
Posted - 12/05/2012 : 10:12:04
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Hi TT,
You're right I should have left those things in but I thought I was sounding a bit too silly.
This will be a short post cause I have to go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned in a little while. I go every 3 mons. and I hate it. And as I said I'm having teeth pain in my lower back teeth lately which I KNOW is TMS because I've been through this before. And now there is a little swelling there. My hygienist is going to say I need to do this or that when all I really need is some more time to make it stop. I'm p----- off because I can't tell her that this is just TMS. She would call the funny farm people for sure...hee hee ho ho. I don't want any unnecessary procedures done and I can't easily just tell her what I do or don't want because she's gentle and very skilled and I don't want to have to find another one. Now my right eye twitch went to my left eye. sheesh!
I've painted a cherry red '67 Chevy Stingray and a '57 Chevy. After I sold these I intended to do more clasic cars but I haven't yet. I think your t bird is a '57, right?
I'll post more this afternoon on all this. In the mean time...
There you go man, keep as cool as you can, face piles of trials with smiles, it riles them to believe that you percieve the web they weave and keep on thinking free! The Moody Blues - but I don't remember which tune it's from.
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Fatigue and TMS
