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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
 Posted - 12/02/2012 : 01:30:50
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Hi!
I guess some people here were really, really successful with positive affirmations (Eric Watson!) and I remember them saying that - even if you firstly can't believe what you're telling yourself - one should continue because it will sink into the subconscious and - step by step - change your way of thinking.
I also read about different positions who are proclaiming that you absolutely have to believe what you're telling yourself because otherwise it's completely useless. I also remember some of SteveO's writing:
"However, Dr. Weil is correct when he says that experience has shown positive thinking does little if anything. It is far more important to connect with someone who has experienced healing - to read about or communicate with someone who has healed from the same malady you currently have. The unconscious is more susceptible to altering its belief if it witnesses healing - as opposed to trying to convince itself of something it can't comprehend [...]. If the indiviual continuosly affirms something he does not believe with all of his Being, he continously reaffirms the negative - more deeply ingraining failure.[...] She (the peson) must believe in her new words eventually or the words are useless." (p. 282f)
In my case an affirmation I am able to believe in may be something like "eventually I will get a bit better some day". But one should use the present tense and not the future and avoid phrases like "eventuelly" or "a bit". But when I tell myself "I am getting better every day" I actually can't believe in it because I am in so much pain.
Perhaps I see some problem where is none? I generelly use to entangle myself in seeming contradictions and want to be sure that I am doing the right thing (typical TMSing I think).
Well, I am really interested in your opinions and experiences! I am so happy I found all this stuff about TMS and this forum where I can share my problems and ideas. Before I knew about TMS I completely felt "lost in (pain-)space" and now I feel some hope and even some ambition to walk along this rocky way (just at the very beginning), to heal myself from the inside and to win this TMS-battle! The journey is the destination, I shouldn't forget that!
Have a nice first Advent and a very peaceful time!
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2012 : 06:24:47
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We tmser's live in a very confusing world. We go to our doctors and they said we need surgery to fix our back, we go to tms doctors and they said our back is find, it is our mind that need fixing. Even among mindbody experts there are many different, sometimes conflicting therories on what caused symptoms and what will help cure symptoms.
Affirmation work by repetition over time. It should be in the first person, in present tense, be achievable, and need to act out as if it already happened.
A tmser's mind is occupied with a wrong perception about the condition of his health. He wrongly thought that there is something really wrong with his body. That thought, that perception is just a habit that deeply ingrain in his mind and it make him miserable. We use affirmation to replace that habit with a new one.
"The subconscious mind is where all your habits are stored. All the things you do on a daily basis without even thinking about - the way your brush your teeth, the way you tie your shoes, how you turn pages in a book, the way you drive and so on. All the things you do that you had to think about once but now they have become a deeply ingrained habit.
Your subconscious mind is like an old wagon trail. The wagon wheels have worn deep ruts by constant use so most wagons that come down the trail will just follow the ruts. If you want your wagon to go somewhere else it's going to take a bit of effort. You have to get your wagon out of the old ruts and then create new ruts.
This isn't as hard as it seems. New ruts are created the same way the old ones were - by repetition. It took effort to create those original ruts. You had to think about it and then repeat it. And that's how affirmations work, that's why affirmations work. The repetition of affirmations is the process of creating new habits, new ruts, a new path for your mind to run on. It's quite easy all it takes is repetition."
What happened when we smoke ciggarette for the first time? or when we drink beer for the first time? The ciggarette made us cough, choke, gasp for air... That first beer taste bitter, it taste like cough medicine... and yet, after repeated use, we are hooked, we became addicts. We suck those smoke into our lung and enjoy making smoke rings. We drink beer after beer every weekend until we passed out drunk. It became a "habit".
Reseachers said for something to become a habit we have to repeated on average around 28 times. Avertising industry know this very well. Those salesman with British accent on those late night informercial made million from selling us things we don't need. (maybe we should do our affirmation with a British accent  )
So believe in it, keep repeating it, act it out, live it... change your belief and you will cure.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2012 : 07:30:07
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| What balto said says it all. He explains it perfectly. In the beginning you may not fully believe the affirmations but if you keep doing it, it will become true and you will believe it. Just don't try to force yourself to believe it, it will come naturally. Try to think of the words when you say them (this is not necessary but helpful to do sometimes) |
Edited by - Ace1 on 12/02/2012 07:33:22 |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2012 : 08:20:15
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quote:
Originally posted by balto
We tmser's live in a very confusing world. We go to our doctors and they said we need surgery to fix our back, we go to tms doctors and they said our back is find, it is our mind that need fixing. Even among mindbody experts there are many different, sometimes conflicting therories on what caused symptoms and what will help cure symptoms.
Reseachers said for something to become a habit we have to repeated on average around 28 times. Avertising industry know this very well. Those salesman with British accent on those late night informercial made million from selling us things we don't need. (maybe we should do our affirmation with a British accent [:)
Good post Balto, that was a good analogy about habits and wagon ruts, where did that quote come from?
My dilemma's been going to see two TMS MD's and being told "It's not TMS, it's arthritis, get a hip replacement, sooner then later." Well, it's been later, then sooner, since I was told that at least ten years ago and keep hobbling through.
I've got my x-mas shopping taken care of though, I'm going to buy 28 of those $20 "diamond" rings, being hawked by the limey guy on TV. He says "Even diamond experts" can't tell them apart from $20,000 real diamonds"--maybe they can offer me an opinion on my hip x-rays too.
Cheers
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Edited by - tennis tom on 12/02/2012 08:22:47 |
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2012 : 08:36:56
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Thanks, this was really very helpful!
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
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Jilly
USA
40 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2012 : 11:42:23
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This is my first post on here...I once read "You keep unconsciously choosing the pattern or behavior that works for you, until it no longer works for you" Now that I know this pattern is not working for me, I will choose something else CONSCIOUSLY until it becomes an unconscious response. The affirmations are what I'll choose to retrain my brain and ease my body. Something else, I just became aware of how I am changing the wiring in my brain and thus my responses and soon my body. Very amazing stuff ! |
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SteveO
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2012 : 13:34:07
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This is a great point Birdie, you're a smart lady. Too smart (intellect vs. feeling).
My point, where you quoted me, is that "just" thinking positive does little, if anything with regard to TMS, and Drs. Sarno and Weil, and Sopher et al, agree. What this means is "whistling past the graveyard." This old saying means the person sees the trouble but puts on a smile as though it doesn't exist. This doesn't help with TMS.
I believe in affirmations and I wrote about Coueisms. But I keep posting and writing about fine-lines in life and this is yet another. You can't ignore a problem that you know is a problem. This is what gets you to TMS-hell in the first place. It's called repression. If your foot falls off your body you can't just keep repeating "my foot didn't fall off...my foot didn't fall off..." If a loved one is ill you can't just keep repeating "it will go away...it will go away..." This type of positive thinking can make it worse because it lacks self expression and denies the truth.
What you want with an affirmation is something based in truth. It's enlightenment thinking. You grab onto the particle of light and you expand it--something better will come about because good will win out. The idea is to take the light that already exists and to allow it to shine through the darkness. The situation may seem 99% dark but that 1% light needs to grow, which is where affirmations work nicely. The light is the truth. Thinking positive is an entirely different concept, it's trying to turn the dark into the light.
As far as attaching yourself to someone who has healed that's another topic altogether, separate from affirmation. Everyone knows how powerful it is to read about or to talk to someone who has healed. It has a much greater impact on us than simply hoping we will heal. Why? Because we demand proof. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet still believe. But as humans who possess doubt, we always want more.
I know that people contact me because I healed. I did the same thing. I contacted people who had healed asking all kinds of questions when I was trying to heal. It gives us great comfort because it erases more doubt to see it, expanding the light that already exists. Seeing sheds more light and our subconscious more readily accepts it. Each time doubt is diminished we heal a little more. This is one of the main topics of my book, and the medical industry has created a world of doubters. Many want you in fear, doubting your health at every turn in obsession. "Go see your doctor immediately!" One of my pet-peeves is the site EveryDayHealth.com. They are the problem. Sickness is big business and doubt is the driver because it's weapon is fear.
So there are 2 things here, affirmations that you don't believe at all; trying to make problems go away with wishful thinking, and fortifying the unconscious with seeds of proof.
Affirm the light that already exists, don't try to convert darkness to light.
Steve |
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2012 : 14:19:35
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Thanks Steve for pointing out the quotation, I think I now grasped the difference (liked your very vivid example of "my foot is not falling off", ha ha). I am more on the "Oh no I broke my toenail I hope my toe isn't falling off side" (it's the "tend to convert sth. harmless into a disaster-approach").
"Affirm the light that already exists" sounds much better to me.
I also found the very metaphoric example of the wagons/ruts to be very helpful. Perhaps the "old wagons" (neuronal pathways) still exist, but by building new ruts and using them they become eventually needless!
Thanks everbody for clarifying!
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
Edited by - Birdie78 on 12/02/2012 14:20:54 |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2012 : 14:22:35
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Balto,
This is an excellent post; I heartily agree and love your analogies.
Having gone through smoking and alcohol issues myself I have to say you are too kind when you use the word “habit”. The correct word is “addiction”.
I speak TMS truth here and it ties in very nicely with SteveO’s answer below, “Whistling past the grave yard” comment.
A spade is a spade unless you call it a shovel.
May I extend a welcome to new posters
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Back on Wiki Edu Program day 15
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted later.)
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2012 : 14:23:05
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Thanks Steve for pointing out the quotation, I think I now grasped the difference (liked your very vivid example of "my foot is not falling off", ha ha). I am more on the "Oh no I broke my toenail I hope my toe isn't falling off side" (it's the "tend to convert sth. harmless into a disaster-approach").
"Affirm the light that already exists" sounds much better to me.
I also found the very metaphoric example of the wagons/ruts to be very helpful. Perhaps the "old ruts" (neuronal pathways) still exist, but by building new ruts and using them they become eventually needless!
Thanks everbody for clarifying!
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie
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Edited by - Birdie78 on 12/02/2012 14:24:20 |
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eric watson
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - 12/02/2012 : 15:22:51
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birdie to reply to your first post-if you hang in there-try to feel the emotion of love if thats your affirmation -it will work-but there r so many other steps-like acceptance that your in this for the long haul-awareness of your reactions to expectations-i remember just a couple weeks in and i got this feeling of wholeness-i was on cloud nine and then 2 weeks later i was back in pain for a couple of days-then it left again....
my point is i had to (keep believeing) even when it didnt seem possible after a let doun-if doubt was cast-then i pick back up
we make progress in spurts little by little and then these little healings-understandings-ideas-and concepts make for 1 big change
we have to keep the peace flowing even in doubt
and if not ,if its to hard and it to unbearable,then take an advil for the short term-wine-something
as the weeks pass into months we encounter new paradigms that make us think -now ive thought about that a million times-and now it makes sense |
Edited by - eric watson on 12/02/2012 15:33:51 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 12/03/2012 : 12:37:30
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| One more point. Its true that you cant use affirmations to do things that are not possible (i.e I grow wings). However, in my opinion they should be used to promote peace and relaxation not to make something work better to help cure TMS. So if someone is in a situation where somebody is bothering them, they first have to recognize this (this is the opposite of repression), then in this case say I forgive and let go easily, which could be repeated as their affirmation. Now that statement right there is not true, or the person may not believe it, but doing this helps direct your mind in the right direction. Repression would be that the person ignores how they feel and they would continue to act unconsciously adding more fuel to the fire without caring about what it does to them. The affirmation in this case works only as a tool to achieve your goal, but the person should also not try to work themselves up more but resolve it. Someone who uses the affirmation but doesn't try to also consciously forgive will likely not succeed. This was my main method of recovery and it worked very well when all else had failed |
Edited by - Ace1 on 12/03/2012 19:17:36 |
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Confused about affirmations
